Heavy Lies the Crown
by Jet MacLeod
Summary: Rewrite of Season 5, with a somewhat happier ending. What would have changed if Octavia had heard all of Clarke's transmissions to Bellamy and used them to make some very different choices for those surviving in the bunker? As Octavia listens, she realizes that the crown is heavier than she ever imagined. Lots of flashbacks and gap fills for the six year time jump.
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1**

She sat in her office. The weight of survival was firmly on her shoulders. She felt it a little more each day. She hated to admit that Jaha had been right. She wouldn't do it publicly, ever. But, she had taken his final words to heart. In order to survive, they had to make death the enemy and not each other. She wasn't proud of what she had to do in order to bring order to the survivors in the bunker, but it worked. Now she understood how heavy the crown was that Clarke was. She may not totally forgive her, but each day she understands more and more of what Clarke took in order to make sure they survived.

The days were running together, but she had a count down running as well. At the moment, it seemed daunting, but being stuck underground for five years while they waited on the Earth to be habitable again seemed better than being dead. At least, she had some shred of hope. It was thin, but she had it.

The thing that hurt the most was that Bellamy wasn't there with her. She could use his council. Hell, she'd love to have Clarke, too, but they were both in space. She had to believe that they were. She didn't want to think about her brother being dead. They'd had words but she still loved him more than anyone else.

As it was, she had Gaia, Indra, Abby and Kane. And, they weren't afraid of voicing their opinions, but at least they were smart enough to do it behind closed doors. After Jaha's death, Kane and Abby tried to take Ethan, but Gaia had presented him to her to raise. She didn't know what to do with the child, so she allowed Gaia and Indra to teach him. And when they weren't, he was with Niylah.

Niylah had been a saving grace for them all. She kept them thinking about their humanity. Niylah's even temperament sometimes calmed hers, but when she was resolute, not even Niylah could sway her.

She wasn't naive. She knew that there were factions among them that wanted her dead, but they wouldn't try with Indra and Gaia still breathing. Gaia was the last of her training. She was the last "priestess" of the Flame. It didn't matter that she didn't have it or the black blood. Gaia stood by her like she did and proclaimed her _Blodreina, _"the Red Queen." It was a new title with the same responsibility. If she'd had the black blood, she'd have been _Heda. _That was Gaia's take on things and the devout believed it. She'd won the conclave after all and found a way to save some of each clan.

There were days she thought about Luna and agreed with her. Man didn't deserve to survive. Man was and is its own worst enemy. It destroys itself and for what? Greed, love, resources, revenge. There was never a good answer.

Indra was always at her side. Her "Grounder" mother was never far from her and never far from protecting her, either. Indra always believed in her, even when she didn't believe in it. Gaia had somewhat become her sister. Together, their little family, they stayed sane. Things were always hard. The food was always bland, but she was used to it being who she was. Explaining that things were better in the bunker than they were in space made Indra laugh most days. But, they all missed the sun.

That was the first thing that Abby knew they had to conquer. They needed sun light in order to thrive. Thankfully the bunker had some UV lamps, but most of them were used for the farm and food. Of course, those working the farm were the last to break. When the Sunlight Psychosis started, Abby started rotating the workers in the farm. Each person got a few hours a week. It was one of the many problems they faced.

Rationing was another. She wasn't dumb enough to think that they would last five years on what they had. It was a complicated and complex formula that they used to come up with that and not having Monty with her hurt. He would have given her the numbers straight. He wouldn't have lied about how long they could survive. He would tell her what she needed to know and then they could plan. She implemented rationing after the coup by _Skaikru_ in the beginning, but she knew that it might be too late. She wasn't dumb. She was just prolonging the inevitable.

The longer she sat there and the longer she thought about it, the more she realized that she didn't believe they were going to make it. She'd had these thoughts since the end of year one. How could she not? They were literally buried alive in the ground. And, then she thought about everyone in Mount Weather. They were the new Mount Weather. If anyone survived _Praimfaya_, they would have five years, or more depending on when they could get out, on how to survive and thrive on the newly regenerated Earth.

She sat back in her chair and let her head hit the back of it. She refused to cull. She wouldn't do that. It was barbaric. But, she was doing it indirectly with the fighting pits. Cremating the dead insured their survival, too. Less mouths to feed meant one more meal down the line for everyone. It was a callus way to think about it, but they were trying to survive. Being callus was the only way to make sure it happened. She didn't have to like it, but at least she wasn't systematically killing people. The fighting pits gave the accused criminals a way of proving their worth to the entire _Wonkru_ clan. Dying wasn't considered an act of guilt, it just was. And, more fights she sanctioned, the more she wondered if death wasn't more of a blessing in their current situation than living. She wouldn't do anything to cause harm to herself. She couldn't. Indra and Gaia wouldn't let her.

She understood the importance of a figure head for the people. She gave them that. As long as she lived and was healthy, she gave them hope that not only would they survive their harsh reality. They would get out of the bunker. Hope is an odd thing. For some it is a blessing. For others, it's a curse. For her, she wasn't sure yet.

There weren't many things that gave her hope, but she was trying. She had to keep a brave face for the people. She had to find a way to lead them back into the light. They were the last humans on Earth. There was no way that anyone without black blood could have survived. She knew that. They knew that. And, every new child born in the bunker was tested. They had no _natblidas _among them. She wondered if they did, if it would have caused a rebellion. She knew that Gaia would have immediately taken the child to raise them as the next _heda._ She also knew that she would have Indra train the child.

"There would be no use of having a new _heda_ if they can't fight," Octavia said to herself.

She looked across the office. She'd made it her home. It was where she stayed. There wasn't much in there, but her desk, a few chairs, and couches. And, she knew just which one to sleep on, because she did it too much. The most prized possession she had was the radio. No one knew it worked. They all thought it didn't and they would have no reason to believe otherwise. They all knew that there was no one on the surface.

For months, Abby and Kane tried calling out to anyone. They didn't care who. Any sign of life would be better than nothing. Even though they knew it was impossible for anyone to have survived the Deathwave, they tried. Kane hoped that Clarke and the rest made their way to Raven and then to the Go-Sci Ring. That meant that Bellamy was in space. She knew of the plan and part of her hoped that they would reach them. If for anything more than proving her brother made it, she allowed them to call out to the heavens daily for months. But no one ever answered them. Kane said something about atmosphere interferrence, but they had no way of really knowing. They were in a bunker, not a science station. And, had Mount Weather survived, they would have possibly had a better idea of what faced them because she would have sent a group of _Skaikru_ to populate it during the "hibernation" period.

"_Blodreina,_" Indra greeted her as she came into the office.

"What is it today, Indra?"

"Ethan would like to see you," Indra told her.

She slammed her head against the chair and then stared Indra down. Ethan was now her responsibility. She'd promised Jaha as he lay dying. She promised that they would do better, that they wouldn't make children grow up before they should, that they maintained their innocence as long as they could, but it was hard. She'd had to grow up quickly when she hit the ground with the rest of the hundred. She didn't want that for the children of _Wonkru._

"Not right now, Indra. I will see him later. Tell him that we will meet for dinner. I promise," Octavia stated.

"_Sha, Blodreina._"

"Is there anything else?"

"No, Blodreina," Indra answered, but she hesitated and Octavia saw it.

She looked her general and mentor over. There was something weighing on her mind and Octavia could sense it. Cocking her head, she forced Indra to meet her questioning green eyes. Indra looked down and then back up into her eyes.

"Is there any word from the surface?"

"No, Indra, nothing," Octavia lied.

She nodded and left the office. Octavia knew that it was cruel, but she didn't want to them all false hope. She knew it was wrong to keep it from them all, but she had to. She didn't want them to know how bleak things had gotten on Earth. Plus, she doubted that they would believe her anyway. How could she tell them that the once great tower that that _hedas_ ruled from was now pinning them in the ground? No, she kept the radio transmissions to herself. She recorded them all and listened to them over and over. Some, she didn't keep. Just in case Abby found them, but she knew that Abby needed to know soon. She needed to know.

The sound of the radio cackle spring her into action. She was across the room locking the door. It was a silent rule. If the door was locked, no one, absolutely no one including Gaia and Indra, was to disturb her. She never knew when Clarke was going to call. It was usually early morning or just before lights out. It didn't matter. Octavia never missed a call once she'd started picking them up.

She rejoiced with Clarke. She was so happy when it rained for her in the beginning. She knew that meant that Clarke had fresh water. It wasn't irritated, or maybe it was, but Clarke could handle it. She was ecstatic when just after two months, Clarke found bugs to eat. Octavia knew that meant that the animals were starting to come back. She wasn't a fool. She knew that it would take time for larger animals, for game, for something big enough to feed more than one person, but it was a start. The Earth was returning and Clarke was still surviving.

She wept with every set back. The electrical storms that almost destroyed the Rover were the hardest to hear. But, that was a lie. The hardest had the been the beginning of the transmission that she made a little over a few months ago. Clarke had given up. She couldn't get to Abby and Abby couldn't come to her. Food and water had become very scarce. Bugs were in very short supply. She was out of ration bars and the rains hadn't come in ages. She honestly didn't understand how Clarke had survived that long on her own. It couldn't have been the radio transmissions alone. She couldn't answer and she'd heard no other reply.

"You think you can kill me, have at it," Clarke had dared the Earth and it did its damnedest. She wondered for days and Octavia hadn't heard from her. It was making Octavia go insane. Clarke had become a life line, a reason to continue the fight, a message in the madness. Losing that, damn neared destroyed Octavia because it meant that Earth wasn't survivable. For weeks, she stared out her offices door into the abyss of people and hoped against hope that Clarke would answer. And, a month or more later, she did.

She told Bellamy in every painstaking detail how she gave up, how she almost died, and then how a buzzard of all things gave her the hope and want to live. For the next few days, Octavia was happy. Clarke had found a place to live. It was green and lush. It had food, game and edible plants. There was fresh water. And, it was beautiful. She'd found a place to survive until they could come down from space, if they made it, and then they would come open the bunker. Clarke and Bellamy would free them. She just knew they would. But, until that day, she would listen to Clarke surviving and in doing so, she would teach the new generations how to survive.

"Wait until you see this place. It's like the Death Wave missed this entire valley. Unfortunately, the radiation didn't..."

Octavia sobbed with her. She knew that those who lived there were burned and she felt for Clarke for having to burn them, alone. She couldn't help but want to hug her. She couldn't imagine the pain that she was feeling by offering the spirits of the dead back to the Earth in the Grounder fashion. But, she was glad that Clarke had somewhere stable to stay, a house or a building to protect her. She didn't have to build it.

"It's Day 58, since I've been above ground, and I found berries..." Clarke called.

Octavia waited for more, but there was none. Her mind raced. Had something happened? Was Clarke okay? She raged in office, destroying things. Indra and Abby rushed to get in, but couldn't get passed the locks. And, still she raged until she couldn't and she passed out on the floor.

It took them hours to get to her. It took two days for her to convince Abby that she wasn't crazy and didn't need more time with the lamps in the farm. She did however up the rotations, giving everyone more light time. Abby never asked why, but she questioned what Octavia was doing in the office alone all the time. Octavia gave her nothing.

The first day back, the first transmission she hears, "The last two people on Earth and one of them is a demon child." Octavia couldn't contain her laughter. She didn't know who this child was or what clan they held from but she already liked them.

But, now, it was almost six years later and they were still stuck underground. Octavia was starting to loose hope. And, she heard the best words ever out of Clarke's mouth in the morning transmission, "Bellamy, I see you...I see you." Little did they know that those words meant more than freedom. Now, all Octavia could do was wait. Clarke would bring him to the bunker. They would be getting out. Things would be better now.

She went to her door and opened it. Indra and another guard stood just outside. Indra immediately turned to face her.

"_Blodreina_?"

"Get me Abby and both of you come. We have much to discuss. I need my council."

"Shall I summon the rest?"

"No...not yet. Go," Octavia told her.

She looked at the guard and then down into pits. Looking back at the guard, he met her eyes. He knew better than to speak. He would wait for his orders.

"Get a group. Clean the pits. Remove the weapons from the walls. Get with Gaia and find out the list of crimes and the accused. I will review the cases more personally."

"_Sha, Blodreina," _he answered.

"Today is a new day. From the ashes, we'll rise. Today we start to rise, to be worthy again. We are _Wonkru_ and we are better than this brutality."

"_Sha, Blodreina," _he replied and his body language changed.

She watched him go. She knew that someone would attempt to kill her before the end of the day. Death was all they knew. Today, they would learn to live for life. Today was a new day.

Abby and Indra came immediately. Noticing the guard was gone, Indra entered with her sword drawn. Abby looked worried.

"There will be no need for that, Indra. Put it away. Sit both of you. There is something that you need to hear."

"Something we need to hear," Abby started.

"There is a survivor," Octavia stated.

There was a collective gasp. Abby scrunched up her face. Indra just waited.

"A survivor? Is it Clarke? Octavia, is it Clarke?" Abby demanded.

"Yes, it is Clarke."

Abby started crying. She'd been right. She had heard Clarke at the door.

"How?"

"I think you should listen for yourselves."

"I don't understand," Indra replied.

Octavia got up and went over the radio. She dug around until she found the disc she'd labeled "1" and put it in the player. It might have been old technology, but it still worked.

"It's been almost two months since _Praimfaya. _I dug my way out of Becca's lab. Everything is gone. The ocean is now dessert as far as I can see. I don't know what that means about water. I've pulled some ration bars and as much food as I dare carry. Water is another issue. I've got some packs that Becca stored, but I'm going to try to find Polis first. Hopefully it won't take long..." Clarke's voice resonated through the office.

Abby fell out of the chair. Her daughter had survived. She was alive and she was on the ground.

"Made it to Polis. It's a wasteland. Buildings are toppled. There is no where to stay. Thankfully, I found the Rover where we left it at the port near Luna's landing. You remember that, right? Trying to convince Luna to take the flame... I hope you made it, Bell. Because, I am not sure that I will... I found Lexa's throne. I took a piece of it. To help me remember, to help me carry on like she would want me, like you would... I just want to live in the bunker until you come back down. I saw you take off. It was glorious and I am proud of you. Don't be angry. I am proud of you because I know that you will have them all eating Monty's algae. You'll survive this and be back down here before I know it. Promise me, even if I don't make it the five years, that you will never blame yourself for leaving me. It was my choice. I did what I had to do in order to make sure that you survived. And, I pray you did."

"She..."

"There's more. Just listen. She'll explain," Octavia told her.

Abby just shook her head. Her daughter had made it. She had a reason to be happy again. Clarke was alive.

"She's alive?"

"She is still alive, but just listen for now. Please. I'll let you hear more. Just listen to this for now," Octavia told her.

"Found the bunker. I can't get in and I doubt they'll be able to get out. The tower fell on it. I spent days trying to dig it out, but more collapsed as I tried. I had to leave. I had to leave Mom again...I don't know that I can do this alone, Bell. May we meet again," Clarke radioed.

"But-" Abby started.

"There's more, Abby," Octavia told her.

"Made it to Arkadia. Thought I might find some food and water, but all I found were ghosts. It's like we were never here and maybe we shouldn't have been. I don't know. Happy thoughts, Clarke. Happy thoughts. Forgive me. It's been two days since I had water and it hasn't rained. I don't know if it will. I'm going to head southeast a little. Maybe once I'm out of the mountains...I don't know. I'm just trying to find a place to live for now. I know I only have to make until you come back, but five years is a long time, Bell.

"Day Fifty, it rained. It was the middle of the night. But, the storm woke me. It was just in time. I stood in it for a few minutes before I remembered to collect any of it. It felt so good on my skin. I set up a pan to collect some. At least now, I have some water and I know that the Earth does as well somewhere. Now, I have to find it.

"I don't know if it's irradiated or not. I hope it isn't because if it is, you'll have nothing to drink. I've figured out that becoming a _Natblida_ is what has saved me. I can be outside in the radiation with no ill effects...now. I say that because I am pretty sure I died in Becca's lab. Well, I guess, I didn't die, but damn it hurt.

"My suit failed as I was running back from the comm tower. I knew that if I could get inside I would be okay for a little while because of Becca's stores. The last thing that I remember is hitting the floor after coughing up blood. The suit had started to melt to my skin and I had radiation burns everywhere. When I woke, I don't know how much later, the wounds were healing. I still have a few and if they are exposed to the sun for a long time they get red again, but for the most part they are going away. Hopefully, I'll still look like me when you get back.

"I doubt you can hear me on this little radio, Bell, but I hope that you can. I'm going to find somewhere for us to live. After all, I've got five years to succeed. And, we both know how stubborn I am. So, same time tomorrow, Bellamy? Be good to each other. Let Raven know I love her. Let them all know I love them, even Murphy," Clarke said and the disc ended.

"How many went to space?" Abby asked through her tears

"She's talked about Bellamy, Raven, Monty, Harper, Murphy and Emori. She mentioned Echo once, but I am not sure what it meant. They took Becca's rocket to the Go-Sci Ring. Clarke was on the tower aligning the signal to turn the Ring back on. She says in a later transmission that the last thing she saw before them take off was the green light that the tower turned the power back on. After that, there was too much interference to know if they made it."

"And she's been doing this since she found the radio?" Abby asked.

"She has."

"And, you recorded them?" Indra questioned.

"Most of them," Octavia answered.

"Why?"

"Because even _Blodreine _needs something to believe in," Octavia answered.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

_**Forty-six Days after**__** Praimfaya**_

Octavia sat in her office. The lights were dim. She wasn't exactly hiding, but she wasn't exactly welcoming anyone inside her little sanctum either. She needed the peace. Her head was a riot of emotions. This wasn't what she fought for in the conclave.

Sure all thirteen clans had put forward a champion and she was the last survivor. She'd fought dirty, but not as bad as Azgeda, well more of Echo. She did what she had to do in order to claim the bunker and to save her people. What she hadn't counted on was her own brother and Clarke not believing in her. When she realized that they'd taken the bunker and put all of Skaikru inside it even before she won, she snapped. This was not how they were going to survive. She gave the order one hundred for each or none. Every other clan had done so, sending children, strong warriors, healers, farmers, hunters, making sure that their clan members had a mix of people to ensure their survival once the bunker was opened. Skaikru just assumed they would all survive and everyone else be damned.

They needed law. They needed a leader who would carry them through. Octavia wasn't sure it was meant to be her. She was _Osleya_, but she wasn't _Heda. _She wasn't a nightblood and being in the bunker wasn't going to change that. Thankfully, there were no nightbloods to challenge her for the position, but now, she knew she has to step up and lead or let chaos and culling rule the day. And, as long as she had breath wasn't going to happen.

Jaha wanted her to think about culling. She rejected it outright. Abby warned about starvation, but she had no choice. She ordered everyone on half rations. It wasn't ideal but it would prolong things. She ordered Cooper to find a way to make the farm produce longer. And even though Jaha said it couldn't be done, she ordered him and Kane to find a way out. She didn't care how. They had time to dig. It was the resources she was worried about.

She found herself in an impossible situation. When Abby and Kane checked the hatch, the couldn't open it. They were now sealed in their concrete coffin underground. She didn't want to think about it, but she had to. They had to plan for longer than five years. Population control was going to be an issue and it was going to cause all the other issues to follow.

She took a deep breath and huffed it out. This was going to be a long day and she knew that things were going to get worse. Indra had her parading around as if she was _Heda_ with all the trappings and the damn gear between her eyes. She hated it, but she understood what Indra was trying to do. Of course, Gaia hated it and saw it as a perversion of the Grounder's religion. Octavia agreed with her, but she saw the merit in the act as well.

"_Osleya!" _Infra yelled as she entered the office.

Octavia opened her eyes and eyed her mentor turned general. Her green eyes missed nothing these days. She couldn't afford to, since becoming _Osleya, _the champion. She knew that Indra had already quelled several possible uprisings. Today, however, Indra was scared.

"What?"

"Some of Skaikru has taken over the food hall."

"It's connected to the farm, isn't it?"

"_Sha, Osleya," _Indra told her.

"Bring me Jaha!"

This would be her test. This is where she would prove if she could lead them through this or if of humanity was a lost cause. She sighed as she stood. Gathering her sword, hoping she didn't need it, she followed Indra. She knew reasoning with the survivors of the Ark was a lost cause, but she wanted to try. She felt she owed it to them, but it wasn't for her. It was for Kane, Abby, Bellamy, Raven, and Clarke. She was wearing the crown now, and not Clarke or Kane. She had to get them through this. She was the one that to keep them alive. She was the one that had to make the hard decisions.

As she stood outside the mess's door, she felt the weight bearing down on her shoulders. Her own people were turning against her. She needed to make an example and she needed it to be public and harsh. If they were to survive, they had to work together for the common good of humanity, not for a single tribe. They were _ wonkru _now. There were no clans or tribes; they were all just human. They were the last of the human race as they knew it. They had to survive or man would cease to be.

Nathan brought him to her. Nathan was one of the hundred. He was a friend and Indra was taking a liking to him. She couldn't help but wonder if Indra wouldn't make him her new _sekkon_. He was loyal and brave. He wasn't afraid to fight and he was willing to follow her. She knew he would be a good ally and good guard. Nodding, she dismissed him as she began to work with Jaha on way to open the door to the mess hall and the farm.

Having to fight her way down to fight her way back up to re-secure the farm was going to be a problem, but it was something that she could do. She knew how to fight. She knew how to kill. She knew how to deal with things that she could attack. Hunger was not something that she could attack, not effectively anyway. They could only survive on a stop gap and she knew that, but they had to survive. There was no other choice and she had to be the leader that found them a way to do that.

She didn't want to be stuck with Jaha any longer than she had to be, but she knew that he was the only one that could save them for now. But, he was trying to be an conscience that he never had on the Ark. She was a warrior. He was a leader. He gave something to fight for. He told her to declare Death the enemy. If they had an enemy, then she had something to fight. If she had something to fight, she had a reason to lead them. Death, non-existence, that was their enemy. She agreed with him on that, if she didn't agree with his methods. She wouldn't punish the many for the few. She needed _Skaikru_ to keep things running. She would target the leaders of the coup and punish them for it. Hopefully, they wouldn't be too essential to their survival.

Now, sitting back in the office with just Niylah in the dark, she wondered if she'd made the right decision. She couldn't take it back now. She'd fought. She'd won. But, was it enough for _Wonkru?_ She didn't know. She was _Osleya _for forty-six days. She was the winner of the conclave and she was the one that decided as the winner that they would take one hundred from each clan and become one for all of mankind. Now, she looked out into the abyss of people around the pit that she was making, for justice, for survival, and wondered if life was even worth it anymore. Death was all she knew. Like Clarke, she killed to protect those she loved, but now, she was beginning to understand. Now, she was beginning to see what Clarke had seen while they were on Earth and not in it. The needs of few cannot outweigh the needs of the many. She weighed her winning and decided to save a little of everyone and now she was paying for that because of the old tensions between them. She needed them united. She needed them to be one, to survive, to become one last village of man, and she thought she knew how to do it.

"How many died today?" she asked the darkness, knowing that Niylah would answer.

"In the corridor?"

"Yes," Octavia replied.

"Seventeen," Niylah answered.

"Leave."

"Octavia?"

"Leave. I want to speak to Indra. Send her in and keep everyone else out. But, find Ethan, I want him to be with you when he isn't with me for now."

"As you wish," Niylah stated and left.

Octavia looked around the office. There was no comfort there. Eighteen were gone today. Forty-six days into the bunker and she'd already lost eighteen, seventeen of them by her own hand. But, only one of those was she actually justified and didn't haunt her. Killing the Azgeda fool for stabbing Jaha had been justice and she'd told him as much as she slayed him in front of the mess hall door. She was even sad about Jaha, but she knew that she couldn't show it. She thought about it until Indra and Gaia came.

She wasn't expecting Gaia with her, but she understood it. Gaia had the ear of some of the people and Octavia knew that she would do well to keep her happy. Indra tolerated her daughter because she was her daughter and not because of her beliefs. Gaia understood how the mob thought and she needed to sway the mob, just like Rome. She looked back at her desk and saw the copy of OVID that Niylah had given her.

"The people are awaiting justice," Indra told her.

She just nodded. She didn't trust herself to speak. Senseless death was wrong and Octavia hated it. Sixteen, no, seventeen deaths happened that were senseless all because the people were afraid. They had right to be, but she knew that she had to give them something to believe in order to earn their cooperation. Death was easy for eleven of the clans. _Skaikru _ would be the hardest, she knew that, but they were her people. Now, she needed to make sure that they were really one.

"You should wash up before facing them. Come. You'll need clean armor," Indra told her.

But, Gaia stopped her. "No, let them see her like this. I know that the spirits of the Commanders cannot help us now. We have no _Natblida, _but we have the _Osleya. _I think that the spirits chose you, Octavia. You won the conclave. You delivered us from _Praimfaya._ And, today, you delivered us from starvation. I, now, believe that you will deliver us back to the ground," Gaia told her as she reached out for her hand.

Octavia looked up at Indra, tears in her eyes threatening to spill. Questions filled her mind. What was Gaia up to? And, would it work? Slowly, blinking back the tears and letting out another sigh, she took Gaia's hand and stood up, following her towards the mirror hanging by the doors to the office.

"The blood of our enemies is her armor," Gaia told her as she positioned Octavia in front of the mirror.

She stared at herself, not believing what she was seeing. Her mind was fracturing and she could feel it. Forty-six days and she had no one to confide in. Life was hard, but it was harder when you were alone. She turned and looked at Indra. She could see the worry in the older warriors eyes. This wasn't the ground though.

She walked out of the office and to the top of the ramp. Looking down into the area below, a thought hit her. She had to control the mob and the mob was Rome. Except they weren't in Rome. They were in the bunker and they were _Wonkru. _She needed to unite them and she knew how to do it.

"The truth of the matter is that there are too many people. We have too many people in here for all of us to live comfortably. It is a problem and one that we have to deal with it. But, this isn't the Ark and this isn't the ground. All of you have committed crimes against _Wonkru. _And, the price for committing a crime is...Death."

"Stealing blankets isn't the same as stealing food," a grounder yelled.

"There is no _Skaikru. _There is only _Wonkru _and the enemies of _Wonkru. _Would you like to join them?" Octavia asked the man and watched him back down.

"There is no more 'Blood must have blood.' In Rome, the gladiators had the opportunity to fight for their freedom. And, so will you," Octavia told the mob as she drew her sword and tossed into the pit below. "Conclave rules: win the fight; save your life."

She could see the horror on those who _Skaikru. _She could see the disappointment in Niylah's eyes. But, she felt Gaia and Indra behind her. As long as she had her General and the Priestess of the Flame supporting her, she knew they would all eventually fall into line. They would have no choice. Indra would kill anyone that stood up against Octavia. She backed up slightly and waited.

Cooper was the first to act. Octavia couldn't help but grin. The farmer, turned coup leader, was fighting for her life. She fought bravely and valiantly. It didn't surprise her that Cooper won. She killed the coup leaders, the blanket stealer, and a few _Azgeda_ idiots. Cocking an eyebrow, she watched as Cooper slayed them quickly and then knelt down in the middle of the pit, surrounded by bodies, awaiting her pardon by Octavia.

"Cooper, you live to fight another day," Octavia told them. "I need the leaders of each group to see me in an hour. Someone clean up that mess and deal with the bodies. Abby, I need to see you as well. The rest of you, get back to work, whatever it might be."

She left the rail and walked through the crowd. Miller and Indra trailing behind her, while Gaia was at her side. She'd made an example of them. She'd given them justice. Now, she waited, but they had to survive. She needed more information and she was going to get it. Now, they knew not to cross her.

She sat in the office as Gaia finally made way to clean. Octavia was startled to find that she demanded to do it herself. Indra took up post beside her behind the desk and watched as her own daughter washed her _Sekkon. _Abby sat across from her, obviously horrified, but smart enough to say nothing. Octavia knew she wasn't happy about what she was doing, but Abby had done similar actions on the Ark sentencing her own husband to die and sending her daughter to the untested ground in hopes of survival.

"Leave us," Octavia ordered.

Indra looked like she was about to argue, but one look from Octavia stopped her. She nodded and grabbed Gaia, leaving them alone in the office. Octavia looked down at the desk and then up into Abby's dark eyes. She could see both Bellamy and Clarke looking back at her. She could see the disappointment, but she knew that they had to fight for survival. Being nice wasn't going to work.

"I know that you aren't happy with my choices, Abby."

"You're right, I don't."

"Be that as it may, we have to survive."

"And, death, fighting for life for crimes?"

"It will make crime stay down. No one will want to die for stupidity when we are all trying to survive. We need to have mentality that puts the needs of the bunker before the needs of the individual. Harsh punishment worked on the Ark. You should know."

"And, it was wrong."

"But, yet, you let your own husband die and sentenced your own daughter to the Skybox. Then, you sent us all to the ground with the hope that we would survive. You sent us to die in hopes that we wouldn't. Here, we live in hopes that man will survive this second apocalypse. We just have to learn to live together and become one united people so that when we get back above ground we repopulate the Earth."

"And, what do you need from me?"

"I need to know what to do with the bodies."

"The bodies?"

"We have several bodies from today's actions. Seventeen died in the opening of the mess hall. Cooper just won her match against seven others. And, Jaha who was for the first time innocent, died as a result of Cooper's coup. That gives us twenty-five bodies to dispose of. I am not a doctor, but we can't have them just laying around."

"No, they will cause disease."

"So, we must do something with them. On the Ark, they would have been floated. On Earth with the hundred, we buried. The Grounders burnt the bodies to release the spirits. What can we do?"

"There is a crematory. We'll burn the bodies. It will destroy any possibility of disease."

"Good. Please see to it. And, the ash can be used to help in other processes, right?"

"Yes."

"Good."

"Octavia..."

"Abby, when that has been seen to, I need you to do an inventory of what supplies we have in the medbays. I don't want an issue to arrive that we can't handle because our resources aren't where they need to be. Once, you've completed that, I want you to set a time to do that every week. No surprises, Abby. We won't survive if we don't."

"I understand."

"I want you to be the head of the healers. I want you to sit in on the council meeting. Go, freshen up and give your orders. I'll see you in an hour," Octavia told her.

Abby nodded and left the office. She realized that Octavia was actually taking things serious now. She'd seen how quickly things could go to shit.

Indra knocked on the door.

"Come in," Octavia called from her seat behind the desk.

"Cooper is here for her pardon, _Osleya,"_ Indra told her using her formal title.

Octavia nodded. Cooper was shoved towards the desk and only stopped because she hit a chair. Still covered in blood, much like Octavia, she looked up into Octavia's eyes.

"I don't blame you," Octavia told her. "I get it. You're scared, but you're more like me than you want to admit, Cooper. You're a survivor and that is what we need. We need survivors because if we don't, we all die. And, I'll not let that happen. I need to know that you aren't going to something like this again. I need to know that I can trust you with the farm."

"There are too many people."

"Twenty-five less now thanks to you," Octavia told her.

"I..."

"Seventeen were killed in order to get inside the mess hall. Those lives are on your hands, Cooper. You caused their deaths. Jaha's death as well. He was the only innocent in this whole mess and his engineering knowledge will be missed. I need to know that I can trust you to help us survive this. Five years is a long time, but you know just as well as I do that it might be longer due to the tower falling on the bunker doors."

"Are you going to get us out of this?" Cooper asked her.

"I am going to do my best to get us out. We've still got five years to figure it out. We will, Cooper, but I need you to keep us fed."

"I will do what I can."

"Then, you are free to resume your duties with one stipulation," Octavia told her.

"And, that is?" Cooper questioned as she stood, still glaring down at Octavia.

"I want weekly progress reports on what is happening on the farm."

"Yes, _Osleya_," Cooper replied as if she was trying the word out on her tongue.

Octavia just waved her away. Cooper left and Niylah stood in the doorway, waiting. Octavia looked up and saw her.

"Come in," she told the honey blond woman.

"Do you feel better?"

"No."

"Do you think what happened was necessary?" Niylah asked her.

"I don't know."

"The people fear and respect you. I would say more so now than before. The blood was an interesting choice," Niylah told her.

"It was Gaia's idea."

"I'm sure."

"I'm trying to figure this all out. I didn't ask for this, Niylah. I fought to survive. I never fought to be our leader," Octavia replied.

"But, nevertheless, you are our leader and now the people will look to you to keep us safe and help us survive."

"That is all I want."

"Then, I will support you," Niylah said.

Octavia looked at her, really looked at her. She knew that Niylah preferred women. It wasn't a secret that she shared her bed with Clarke, but companionship wasn't something that Octavia was looking for. She wanted a friend. Niylah could be that person. She was one of the few that Clarke actually trusted more and she knew that Niylah wouldn't actually try to kill her. She was a passivavist, and something rare among the Grounders.

"Thank you,' Octavia told her. "I want you on my council."

"But, I am not a representative of the clans," Niylah stated.

"You are a representative of _Wonkru _and of me. I want you there. I don't need a further reason," Octavia said.

"Then, I will be there, _Osleya,"_ Niylah replied.

"I've told you to call me Octavia."

"But you are the champion," Niylah countered.

Octavia just cocked her eyebrow at the other woman and shook her head. She hated the title. She might have won, but she didn't feel like a champion now. She felt like a crazy woman on some sort of masochistic journey for survival. That was actually closer to the truth than she wanted to believe. She felt her mind slipping. Forty-six days and she was going to crack completely soon. She was going to become something she hated, something that she was mad at Clarke for being, something that she was mad at Bellamy for doing, and there was no one, absolutely, no one that could stop her. She knew it. They knew it. And, everyone was going to have to deal with it.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

"Why are you just now telling me about this?" Abby demanded, with fire in her eyes and venom lacing her voice.

Octavia took it. Had it been anyone else, she would have reacted violently, swiftly and without mercy. She knew that Abby was going to be mad. She expected it. She actually welcomed it. She was surprised that Abby hadn't actually gone off on her before now.

"I had my reasons," Octavia told her.

"Which were?" Abby asked her as they sat alone in _Blodreina's _office.

Octavia looked around the office. It was darker now, more fitting her moods as time passes for them all underground. The red motif had started around the same time they started calling her _Blodreina._ It was mostly Niylah and Gaia's doing. She could have stopped them, but she would have had to care enough to do so.

"The same reason I've done anything since we became entombed in here, Abby: survival."

"And how was not knowing Clarke was alive part of our survival?"

She wondered the same thing hundreds of times. Mostly on the days she'd locked herself in the office after some trivial squabble with her "council." But, to be honest, she was scared. Knowing Clarke was alive had given her a glimmer of hope, but she knew how quickly it could be gone. The Earth was not forgiving and it demanded blood to survive. Sacrifices that Octavia was not willing to spend, when she dared to hope that Bellamy would come for them.

"Do you think that I came to the resolution lightly, Abby? I didn't. I wanted to tell you so many times. But, I knew what it would do to you. I knew that if you could hear her voice, know that she was up there, alone, that it would drive you crazy like it was driving her crazy that you were in here and she couldn't get to you. She did what she had to do in order to survive, alone, until she wasn't. She tried to get to us and realized that she couldn't. The tower had fallen on the bunker. She dug and dug until her hands were bloody and raw, I'm sure. She tried to find a way, but she was just one person and she had no equipment. What do you think that was doing to her? Hmm? Do you think that it was easy for me to listen to her mourn you? Mourn them? Especially after the five years were up?"

"No," Abby answered quietly.

"I didn't tell you because I knew that you were already mourning her. Giving you hope and knowing that you wouldn't be able to get to her would have killed you. I needed you alive. So, I made the call to not tell you. I didn't tell anyone. I didn't even tell Indra. I listened to her radio chats with my brother in space, but just like there was for her, there was no reply. I couldn't answer her, and she honestly didn't know if Bellamy and the rest made it to the Go-Sci Ring. She hoped and prayed that they did so that her sacrifice, her being alone, was worth it. She took it as her own personal karmic punishment. She helped save everyone else, but she had to atone for the deaths she caused. Her life for all of ours seemed like a fitting punishment for her."

Abby looked at her with tears in her eyes. Her daughter had done nothing but suffer since she came to the ground and it was all her fault. Her daughter had to grow up too fast, had to lead nations, had to battle the Mountain, and had to survive on a planet that was doing everything in its power to kill her, and damn it all, if Clarke hadn't survived. Her daughter had become a leader, a warrior, a scholar, a delinquent, a healer, but above all of it, she was the "Commander of Death." It was ironic that she would have earned that title for killing the Mountain, but would most of her time trying to heal and save lives. Either way the Grounders believed in her power of death, so why didn't Abby?

"I lost faith..."

"Haven't we all," Octavia replied.

"I lost faith in you as well," Abby stated.

"I know."

"How?"

"Kane would always stand up for you, Abby, and I let him."

"Why?"

"Because I need a doctor more than I need another guard. I needed you to train the next generation. I needed you to make sure that we survived. I needed you to stay alive no matter how many other lives were at risk. Don't get me wrong, though. Jackson is smart and competent, but he isn't you."

"What does that mean?"

"He doesn't know what it is like to make the decisions that you have. He doesn't know what it like to sentence a man to death because he committed a crime. He doesn't know what it is like to take a life, or withhold medicine. You took an oath to save and protect our people and you've done that. You did it on the Ark. You did it in Arkadia. And, you've done it here. I wasn't trying to punish you by making you live thinking that Clarke was dead. I was protecting your mind. Was it selfish or me? Yes, but I think that you would have done the same thing had it been Bellamy on the ground."

Abby watched her. Octavia had been changing. The hardness that came out in the first year was starting to come back. The warrior was gearing up for a fight. She'd heard Indra getting the captains of the guard ready, but she didn't why? What was Octavia planning?

"It's been a little over six years since we entered this layered tomb. We came in with twelve hundred and we've got a little over eight left. One third of our population dead, Abby. One third gone in six years. Crime and sickness were to the two killers, but one third gone. I have to answer for that. I let it happen on my watch. How do you think that I can explain that to whoever is up there? Hmm? Yes, I was brutal. Yes, I invoked the fighting pits. But, how many crimes were actually committed once the pits started, Abby? Do you know?"

"No, I have no idea," Abby replied.

"One hundred twelve. One hundred and twelve people committed crimes against the community and only thirty of them survived the pits. Almost a quarter of the criminals lived to see another day. That leaves over three hundred that died from sickness and starvation."

"The bad year..."

"Wasn't my fault, I know, but that doesn't mean that it didn't hurt me as much as it hurt you. I felt each loss. I mourned each passing. They were my people and I couldn't protect them in here. I couldn't go hunt meat. I couldn't go find nuts to keep up our protein levels. And, I refused to cull. I caused part of the problem. Had Cooper not caught the blight when she did..."

"More would have died."

"Yes, and we would have had to resign ourselves to possible cannibalism."

"You aren't going to let me live that down, are you?" Abby asked her.

"I thought it about many times. I almost agreed to it. I would have had it not been for Clarke's messages."

"The bugs?"

"Yes, because she reminded me of John Murphy."

"A cockroach never dies," Abby replied.

"That's right. So what was worse? Harvesting bugs in the bio lab or the possibility of eating our dearly departed? Like Clarke, I'd eat the bugs. And, thankfully enough, enough Grounders knew how to disguise the bugs in our rations that the populace never knew."

"The raging sickness couldn't be helped due to our close quarters. We should have expected something like that. _Skaikru_ was all altered in Space to be genetically viable and comparable to each other. We all have the same blood type. The early settlers did this for transfusions and organ harvesting. But, the Grounders didn't have that. They'd built up immunities to things we'd never seen and vice versa. We couldn't have known how devastating an illness was going to be. We had no way to truly quarantine effectively. We did the best we could with what we had, Octavia. No one can blame you for that," Abby explained.

"You do."

"I don't blame you for that. I...I wish that the pits hadn't been so damn successful. I know that it reduced population, but we were no better on the Ark floating people. I wanted us to do better here, but we haven't. We just adapted to kill in different ways."

"Survival has never been easy, Abby. We knew that. I remember trying to soak up everything that I could in Pike's Earth Studies class."

"I can imagine."

"I was surprised when I met Clarke. She'd never been to one of his classes. I went to every one and the guards let me because I was the 'Girl Beneath the Floor.' I'd never had schooling, so they let me go to each and every class. Clarke never left her cell," Octavia told her.

"I know."

"Why?"

"Jaha thought that she might tell you all what was going on."

"She didn't know about the drop ship, though," Octavia countered.

"But, she knew that the Ark was dying. Jaha spun the classes to the masses as continuing educations in preparation for release. Those that did well would be looked upon more favorably and therefore more likely to be granted a pardon instead of being floated. By keeping Clarke out of the classes, she couldn't tell you what was really going on and therefore, the rest of you couldn't tell any of your family or friends that came to visit what was happening. It was strategic riot control."

"So, who knew the truth?"

"The council and Jaha...and eventually Pike."

"Pike knew?"

"He begged Thelonious to let him come down with you, but Jaha refused."

"Good thing, too. He would have gotten us all killed. He was a good teacher on survival and basic earth skills, camping and such, but he couldn't negotiate his way out of anything. On our last day of school, he picked a fight with Murphy. Literally pushed and pushed until John fought back. I didn't get it then. I do, now, though."

"Get what?"

"He knew that we would have to fight. We would have to do things that we didn't like in order to survive. We would have to go against everything we knew because failure was not an option. We had to fight to survive and we had to survive to fight. It was a vicious cycle and we would have to find our place in it. Either we would survive or die. There were no other choices. He had to make us want to live, want to fight, want to survive even through the brutally of what we would encounter, because if we didn't. You couldn't. He knew that we were an experiment and he hoped that he gave us enough to get through. We were woefully unprepared, but forty-nine of us made it to _Praimfaya. _Now, I believe there is only a handful of us left. Clarke being one of them. So, yeah, I get it. He wasn't just preparing us for survival but loss, too."

"But, something has happened? Something that you are preparing for? What? What is it, Octavia? What's happening above us?" Abby pushed emotionally.

"Clarke saw someone come down. She realized too late that it wasn't Bellamy and the others. It was someone else. They took over her valley. She began to hunt them as they threatened her and Madi. She -"

"Wait, whose Madi?"

"Her daughter."

"She has a daughter?" Abby asked through tears.

"A girl, roughly around twelve or thirteen now. She was a foundling, an orphan. They've been living and surviving together."

"She would have to be a -"

"A _natblida_, yes, I know, and she is the last of her kind."

"Gaia doesn't know?"

"No, I haven't told her."

"Clarke won't want her to know, not after..."

"What happened with Lexa, I know. I won't tell her. Madi's secret is safe with me."

"But these people, their hunting Clarke?"

"They were," Octavia replied.

"What happened?"

"They caught her."

"They WHAT?!"

"Relax, she's fine. Bellamy came back from the Go-Sci and rescued her. The people that came down don't know Trig. They are mostly prisoners from a mining ship that Earth sent out over a hundred years ago. Bellamy struck a deal with them."

"A deal?"

"To get us out," Octavia said quietly.

"Miners...they're going to dig us out and then what?"

"We fight for the valley. We fight for Eden and we win. They've come to take our home. And, I'm not going to let them."

"How long do we have?"

"A few days depending on how they come," Octavia stated.

"Why so long?"

"Bellamy doesn't trust them. He's trying to stall to give us time to be ready. The prisoners are using radios on the ground. I can pick up most of it, but again, I can't reply. I know they're coming. I just don't know when. And, I don't feel like rolling out a red carpet and welcome mat for them either."

"Miller is arming the guard with guns?"

"He is."

"And, Indra is whipping everyone back into shape."

"She never stopped."

"You're preparing for a war?" Abby asked.

"I'm preparing to defend what is ours to begin with."

"Aren't they men, too?"

"I didn't say I was going to kill them all, Abby. I will give them a chance to prove their worth and I don't mean in the pits. If they get us out and they agree to live in the valley peacefully, I will have no quarrel with them. If they fight me, I will destroy them all and take the valley by force if necessary. This is our home and I will defend it."

"Okay."

"Okay?"

"I'll take stock of what we have in the med bays. We'll need medicine. I'll get Jackson on production of painkillers, blockers, and coagulants. I'll need Niylah to start making banagages with the other _fisas,_" Abby stated.

"Consider it done. Whatever you need until we are out of here, Abby. It is yours."

"Thank you."

"Come back later, after dinner. We'll listen to more of the recordings. I think you should know more about your granddaughter," Octavia told her.

"I would like that."

"I know just which ones to play for you," Octavia told her with a smile.

She watched Abby go. She closed her eyes and imagined seeing them coming to get them. She wasn't naive enough to believe that the prisoners were just going to let them have the valley. She would kill every prisoner if she had to, but she would secure that valley and they would move there, together.

Indra came in with Kane and Gaia.

"Is the pit clean?"

"As it can be, _Blodreina,_" Gaia answered.

"Good. Take down the fencing and wire. Get the _Wonkru _novitiates together and gather a platoon of the guard. I want them protected and armed."

"As you command, _Blodreina,_" Gaia replied, bowed warily and left.

"What's going on?" Kane demanded.

"Bellamy and crew are back on the ground finally, but they aren't alone. Another ship has come back to Earth and they aren't exactly all friendlies. He's managed to strike a deal with their leader to get us out of bunker, but we have to split the last habitable place on the surface."

"Can we trust them, _Blodreina?"_

"No."

"That is why all the extra training and getting the armory empty. Everyone is going to be armed, aren't they?" Kane asked. "Have we learned nothing down here?"

"We've learned plenty, Kane. We learned what it takes to survive. Now, there is a place we can go and we can live. I don't want to share it, but I will if it means that we don't have to live in this God forsaken bunker anymore. The one thing I will not tolerate is them thinking that they can take it from us. I will die for that scrape of land."

"As will I, _Blodreina,_" Indra said devoutly.

"Kane, I know that you haven't always agreed with my rule or my decisions. You aren't alone in that. Sometimes, I didn't either, but everything I did was for us to survive so that we could go back to the ground. This is our chance and I'm not going to let it slip away."

"I understand," Kane replied.

"If you won't fight, then go help Abby prepare for the possible wounded. We are still _Wonkru_ and we will all do what must be done in order to survive. I will not let someone take that from us. Not now, not ever, Kane. We've survived this long in order to live back on the ground. We will do it again."

"You sound like the Mountain Men," Kane stated.

Octavia was up and out of her chair. She was in front of him so quickly that he couldn't react. She heard the distinct sound of Indra drawing a weapon even as she came down in front of him in the chair, one hand on each arm rest, face to his face.

"There is a big difference between us and the Mountain Men," she hissed.

"What's that?"

"I'm not kidnapping people and bleeding them to survive."

She cocked her head and waited for a rebuttal that didn't come. Finally, she backed up. She knew her temper was hot and she honestly didn't want to hurt him. Kane had become an ally and a friend during their forced incarceration together. He was a conscience that she needed sometimes. He helped temper her ire, much like Niylah did, but on a different scale, a different level. There was always something about him that intrigued her. He had changed from one of the most ruthless men on the Ark to one of the biggest peace-loving pacifists on the ground. Maybe he'd had enough.

"I'm not killing others to keep my people alive because I believe we are owed it. I am defending a land that we have a right to live as the last humans on this rock. I am not going to let a bunch of prisoners take that from us and I doubt that you want that. I am willing to give them peace. I am willing to give them part of the land, but we out number them and I'm not going to let them bring us into a bloodbath just because they are here. I want to be ready, Kane, but I am not stupid."

"Meaning?"

"I haven't looked into the eyes of these people. I haven't been able to talk with them. And, until I do, I don't really want them dead. Lord knows that we are going to need every hand on deck when we get back up there. We don't know what we are facing. We don't know the landscape. But, you best believe that we will know how to survive better than they do because we have people that know how to survive off the land, how to hunt, how to fish, how to farm. We will not just abandon the bunker for the valley. But, I am not going to let them take it from us without a fight."

He nodded. "I'll go help Abby, then I'll head to the farm and see what Cooper has that will last a trip for a few days."

"Good."

She watched him leave. Once the door was closed, she moved over to the couch and laid down. Indra just stared at her, but made no move to leave or talk.

"You need to listen to a few discs of Clarke's transmissions," she said, staring at the ceiling.

"Why?"

"I want you to make a map."

"A map?"

"She talks about how long it takes to get from places we knew to the valley, to Eden. I want to know what we're up against and I want to know how long it would take to march there. I don't think that they are just going to get us out of here and share the valley, Indra. They are going to fight us for it. They are prisoners from a mining ship. They have weapons and equipment that we don't. I want to know how to get to Clarke and want to know how long it will take to get there."

"Yes, _Blodreina,_" Indra stated.

"Start with disc 4 and then skip to disc 23."

"So many?"

"Everyday for almost six years, Indra, every single day."

"And, what are you going to do?"

"I'm going to sleep. Wake me if I'm needed. If not, wake me for dinner," she told her as she rolled on to her side on the couch.

"_Sha, Blodreina," _Indra replied as she walked over to the radio.

Octavia had shown her how it was used a year ago, sworn her to secrecy and now she knew why. Octavia had a mild case of depression on the eve of year five and Indra feared that Octavia might do something drastic. So much so, that she upped the guard on Octavia and even made Niylah stay in the office or her bedroom with her after hours. It wasn't to be her lover. Even though, Indra knew that Niylah had sometimes shared Octavia's bed. No, she did it to make sure that Octavia lived. Niylah knew it, too. But, Octavia didn't seem to mind it. She relished in the new interest in her well-being until she didn't and ordered them all to stand down.

She knew that they couldn't get out. By then, the entire bunker knew, too. It wasn't a secret. But, there was always hope that Bellamy had made it and was coming back. She just hoped that it would have been shortly after year five ticked by. No one knew why they hadn't come back then, but they were on the ground now and they were coming for the bunker. She'd played with it enough to know that there was something that Octavia had kept hidden, but she wanted Indra to have should something have happened to her. Gaia was even told, in that year, that Indra was to succeed her should something happen. Gaia looked pain by the decision, but she understood that Indra would carry on as Octavia did until they got out. A named successor wasn't ideal, but Indra was strong and respected among the people. The guard supported her so it wouldn't be that hard of transition. But, Gaia had turned to her mother to make sure that _Blodreine_ survived.

"Pulled out the map that I'd kept from before _Praimfaya._ Not that it does any good. The world is a waste land. I can only use distances from places I knew. I came out of the ground on Becca's Island or what was left of it. There was no ocean to cross, thank god. I don't think I could have swam that far. Using the map, I realized how many miles I had to go. Walking it was going to take some time. I headed back towards Luna's landing. It was the closest point to where we went to water and the Rover was there. Luckily enough the four standing stone pillars were still standing through the sand and decay. It took me half a day to dig out the rover. I was so glad it started up. Now, I had shelter from the sun at least and a place to lay my head at night. I knew that I needed to sleep before I headed to the bunker. It was getting late and I didn't want to travel at night when I didn't know which direction to go. There are no landmarks to speak of anymore. And, if wasn't for the maps we made while trying to make an alliance with the coalition, I wouldn't have known which way to go. I knew to go west, but I didn't know how far..."


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

**Forty-eight days after _Praimfaya_**

She was lying on the bed staring at the gray concrete ceiling above her, wondering if it would hurt if it just collapsed, wondering if she would care. She rolled to her side and saw the familiar honey blond of Niylah. She let out a depreciated laugh. Niylah had come to stay by her side since Octavia ordered her as one of the _Skaikru_ hundred. If she wasn't with Octavia, she was with Indra, Gaia, or in the med bay with Abby. She was staying close and staying needed. Self-preservation at its finest. She couldn't blame the woman. She kept her close because she reminded her of Bellamy and Clarke. She gave her peace when her head wanted war, but she still hadn't given in to any carnal notions with her. It was too soon and Lincoln's death still haunted her.

"He's dead. He can't get you here, you know," Niylah said as she rolled over in the bed.

"He might have died by my hand, Niylah, but Pike will never be gone from me. He took Lincoln because he knew that Pike was wrong. Not all Grounders are like _Azgeda. _He took Lincoln because he was scared and a fool. And, I know that I was a fool to trust that Lincoln would be safe without me there."

"And, not all _Skaikru _are like Pike," Niylah countered.

Octavia actually laughed. She turned and looked at the wall. There was a clock there that she studied, questioning how it was so accurate even after all of this time. Somethings she couldn't explain and she left it alone. She knew better than to look because it usually ran to trouble. And, trouble was the one thing that she didn't need in the bunker. Too many lives depended on her and why a clock worked after being buried for over a century was not an essential quest for survival.

"You should go help Abby."

"Are you sure?"

"I'll be fine, Niylah. Tell Indra on your way out that I survived another night. I'll see here shortly before lunch. I have things to review."

"As you wish, _Osleya,_" Niylah answered using her title once again.

Octavia wasn't a fool. She knew that Niylah only used it when she was commanding. When they were alone or in certain company, she referred to Octavia by her name as she'd asked. But, business and pleasure didn't mix among the Grounders, so heaven forbid a select few actually address her by her given name and not some stupid title.

She smiled and watched the blonde leave. Looking at the clock again, she realized that it was almost time for her to hear Clarke's latest message. After all the bullshit with the mess hall and the pits, this was the highlight of her day. Five to twenty minutes of just listening to Clarke ramble gave her hope that she was doing the right thing, and that was worth it to her. If she didn't keep her spirits up, they would fail.

It had only been four days, but she was happy to know that Clarke was alive. It had certainly been a surprise to hear her over the radio, but it had been a welcomed surprise especially after the days she had. She had flown across the office and started recording the broadcast. It was more for her own sanity. She wasn't sure that she was particular sane in that moment. It wasn't until the next morning that she realized it wasn't a dream. She'd listened to the recording and then heard Clarke again. She felt her heart almost explode. It was just so surreal. Clarke was alive.

Abby came into the office without knocking. She wanted to yell at her, but she looked at the clock again. She had time. Hopefully whatever Abby needed would be quick.

"Doctor," she addressed her as she moved back towards the desk.

"Octavia, has there been any word from the surface?" Abby asked.

Octavia held her breath. She wasn't sure what to say, but she knew that if told Abby the truth, she never see the radio again. She couldn't let that happen. She knew it was wrong and that Abby deserved to know that Clarke was alive, but Clarke was struggling. Octavia needed a functional doctor. Keeping it from Abby was a for the good of all of _Wonkru _and she knew that is was partially selfish, but she had to think about the people. She was responsible for all of them now, even if she really didn't want the job.

"No, nothing," Octavia lied.

Abby just nodded her head. Octavia could see her heart break a little more each day. She knew that Abby and Kane had a lot to work through, but she also knew that Kane would watch Abby. He'd support her when she needed it and he'd fight to keep her alive.

"Is there anything else, Abby?" Octavia asked, trying to hide her annoyance.

"Some of the people are starting to show signs of season affect depression," Abby told her.

"I'm sorry, what?"

"The lack of sunlight. It will cause a depression on some of the people. Some are already showing issues with it. Being down here for five years, we need the sunlight to help our bodies process certain things. We can supplement it with fortified foods and vitamins, but it will only carry us so far."

"What are you proposing?"

"Everyone needs to spend time in the farm, regardless of age or clan of origin. A few hours a day or a week until our bodies can adjust to be being underground. We could make a schedule, but I understand that you would want loyal guard during that time."

"You're right, I would. I'll bring this up at council this afternoon. Remind me and come up with what you think is appropriate for it. Also, I want you to take on the _fisas_ and teach them. If we are going to survive this, we are going to need more than one role per person."

"I will take them on."

"Good, and I want you to take Niylah on as your apprentice. She is good at healing, but she lacks training. She won't be able to devote normal hours though. Can you work with that?"

"I will do as you ask," Abby replied.

"Then, I want you and Jackson to work opposite of each other. After council, you will know the names of the people that you need to see. Work with them and figure out a rotation, Abby. Everyone works for the betterment of the bunker. We have to have a hive mentality to survive this," Octavia told her.

"It will be good to have more people that can help. It will also be good to see what natural treatments we can have. We only have so much here. I could use a few of the chemists from the Ark to help make drugs, but we have finite materials and a shelf life to think about," Abby explained.

"Do what you need to do. Write it up and bring it to me. I'm sure that I'll agree to it. Just make sure that you include a weekly inventory in your schedules, and for now, I only want you, Jackson, or Niylah to do them."

"Understood."

"Then I will see you at the council meeting," Octavia said.

Abby took her dismissal, but she could see that Octavia was trying. She knew that it was hard with multiple cultures mixed together, especially cultures that hated each other. She knew that Octavia would find a way. She was resourceful and she refused to quit or lose. She would save as many as possible.

"Oh, and Abby?"

"Yes?" she asked as she turned at the doorway.

"We're going to need birth control. We're already at max capacity. I can't ask for people not to have relations, but we need to find a way to limit births."

"Suppressants."

"Do we have some?" Octavia questioned.

"No, but I'll work on something. Of course, that won't help if any of the females are already pregnant. I'll get with the clan healers. I'll explain how it could mean death and they'll help keep it in control until I can get some effective suppressants made."

"Make that a priority."

Abby nodded. She knew that Octavia didn't make the call lightly, but she knew that a birth in the bunker would tip the scales closer to death. Besides it would drain medications and supplies. And, like Octavia knew, they had finite resources. They just needed to make it for another eighteen hundred days or so, but again that was if Clarke and company made it to the Go-Sci Ring. Abby had to believe that they would come back and dig them out.

Octavia watched her leave. She knew that Abby felt better about things. Octavia was trying to plan ahead and stay in front of any crisis that might arise. She was actually trying to be the leader they needed. And, as much as they both hated it, the pit fighting had helped. People were being nicer and not stupid. Indra told her that the amount of fighting between the clans had dropped considerably.

She let out a sigh as she walked over to the door and locked it. She needed time without interruption. She needed to hear Clarke's voice, a beacon of hope in the endless ether of her mind as she was stuck in that bunker. She needed it to push her to be better. She was still angry, but the longer she was there, the more she respected Clarke's decisions. Looking back on things, she saw the impossible positions that Clarke was put into and how she did what she could to save as many as she could. That is where Octavia found herself now. She was already down twenty-five. How many more would she lose before the hatch was opened?

She heard the static from the radio and she rushed over to the seat near the radio. It was on a table in the corner of the room. She'd been meaning to move it, but she'd decided that leaving in the corner would be less conspicuous and give her more time to keep the radio to herself. The table also stored the recording device attached to the radio. She could record Clarke's transmissions even if she wasn't there and save them for later.

"Hey, Bellamy. It's nice out today considering. There was a nice breeze this morning. It was gentle enough to rouse me from sleep. I'm still rummaging through what's left of Arkadia. Found a few canteens for water, which I need to find soon. The lake is gone. The ration bars aren't great, but at least they are staving off my hunger for now. I found a foot locker. It was Jasper's, I think. I hope he won't mind me taking his googles, not like he needs them. He left a letter for Monty. I've kept that, too. I'll give it to Monty when you come back.

"I miss him, too. I know it must be hard for Monty, but you've got to keep him going, Bell. You can't let him give up, too. We're going to need his brain back down here to help the plant life come back. He's too damn smart. I figure by now, he's got the algae farm working. I know that it isn't the greatest, but it'll keep you alive. I need you to come back down. Hopefully, by then we'll be able to talk. I doubt that I can reach you with this, but I can't boost the signal any more. I don't know how.

"I wish Raven was here. She would be able to boost the signal with some damn twine and a fish hook," Clarke said with a laugh.

Octavia couldn't help but laugh. She knew that the injured engineer could make something out of nothing. She could have used her, but she wasn't dumb enough to know that they would have come back in time. It was a risk that Bellamy had been willing to take, and she'd let him because he promised to be back.

"I hope that Harper is keeping your spirits up. She was always good at that. Tell her to tell that story about the bad Jobi nuts. That was always a good one.

"God, I miss you guys. This would be so much easier with you here, but I am glad you took off. I know that you wouldn't have survived the death wave. I'll make it, Bellamy. I promise. I'll find us something...somewhere to live. I'm only going to stay at Arkadia for a few more days. I need to move. There is nothing really here and the water and rations aren't going to last me forever. Think I'll head for Ton DC in the morning, and then... Who knows? Talk to you tomorrow, Bell. May we meet again."

Octavia stared at the radio. She could hear it in Clarke's voice. She was losing hope. And, that tore at Octavia. She couldn't help but want to find her. She knew where she was. She had an idea on how far it was, but she had no horse. Octavia knew that even if she could get out of the bunker to go get Clarke, it would be a suicide mission. No one would make it. She knew that Clarke and her mother were working on making everyone a _natblida_ in order to survive. They just hadn't had the time to do it effectively. Clarke had survived though which meant that treatment took and it worked. But, it also sucked because Clarke was stuck, alone, on the surface with hardly any resources.

"Keep going, Clarke. You can do this. If any of us could make it out there, it's you," Octavia told the radio.

She leaned back in the chair and stared at the radio. She knew Clarke wouldn't come back on until tomorrow. She was conserving the battery. She didn't know how long she could make it last, but she still had the rover. She could recharge it with the solar panels. She closed her eyes and tried to imagine what Clarke saw.

There was a knock on her door. Her head turned sharply. Closing her eyes and taking a deep breath, she finally decided that it was time to get back to work. She couldn't slack off in the office just because she was the leader. She needed to keep everyone going. She got up, crossed the room, and opened the door to find Gaia, Indra and Ethan.

She wanted to laugh when she saw them. She, the girl under the floor, the girl who should have never been born by Ark law, now had an orphan. She was barely seventeen and now she had a child. Blinking and staring at Indra with large eyes, she made a gesture with her eyes at Ethan.

"Your _sekkon, Osleya," _Indra stated.

"Oh, no. No. Just no. NO!" Octavia told her.

"You promised Jaha as he died that you would care for the boy. He is now yours. He is either your _sekkon o goufa. _You choose," Indra told her.

"He is a _goufa, _but it gives me an idea."

Gaia watched her, with cocked eyebrow. She could see that Octavia had some crazy plan and she knew somehow that she was going to be part of it. She wasn't sure how she was going to like it, but she agreed to follow the _Osleya_ and she was the last of the _Flaimkepas. _

_"_Ethan, do you speak any Trig?" Octavia asked him.

"No," he said as he shook his head.

"Okay, good."

"Good?" Gaia questioned, tilting her head.

"Yes, because you are going to gather the _goufas_ and teach them, Trig and _Gonasleng._ The next generation will know both, regardless of clan background. You will also teach them the history of the Flame and the Earth. I will have a _Skaikru _teacher as well. Someone to teach some sciences and our history. We are now one and we need to bring our people together. We'll start classes for all to learn both languages. We can't be distanced by words. We can't survive together if we can't communicate."

"As you wish, _Blodreina," _Gaia replied.

"I'm sorry, what?"

"_Blodreina?"_

_"_What does that mean?" Octavia demanded.

"You are now our Red Queen Octavia. They call you, _Blodreina. _It is an honor that all of _Wonkru _has given you this title, my queen," Gaia told her.

Octavia nodded as she looked at Gaia. She knew that it was the priestess's doing, but if it helped give them a commonness she would use it. At least it wasn't _Blidaplana _or _Jushaiplana,_ Octavia didn't think that she could take being called the "Blood Queen." She'd take "Red Queen," noting that Gaia even pulled in some Latin to do it.

The blurring she wanted between her people was already starting. She just had to keep them working together. The more they realized that they were in this together, the easier life would become for them all. She would push them all. The school would help. It had to.

"Start with the guards. We need them to work together. I want a _Skaikru _assigned to another clan to work patrols, Indra. Get the guards working together. Set up rotations, but get a captain for each rotation from each clan. That way they will see that they are each represented. They are to report to you. Make sure that Miller is the Captain for _Skaikru._ I trust him above the others. He was one of the hundred," Octavia told them.

"Yes, _Blodreina," _Indra stated as if she was testing the word, but smiled at Octavia as she used it.

"We will use a team of guards near the farm to make sure that it isn't taken over again. We need a council meeting soon. After lunch for those awake and on shift, call them to the office. Find some chairs and couches from other areas and bring them in here. We will need them. We can fit fourteen in here, yes?"

"As you chose," Indra stated.

"Good. Send word to the clans to pick a representative that is level headed. I don't care who was in charge before they got down here and I don't care who was in charge two days ago. For now, we will have clan leadership on the council. When my directives are in place, clans won't matter and the council will be made of professions."

"Professions, _Blodreina?" _Indra asked.

"Like Abby for the _fisas, _you for the guard and _gona. _Gaia will be there for _goufas en liak Flaimkepa. _Everyone will have to have a job to keep the bunker moving forward. Abby is already worried about seasonal disease."

"Seasonal disease?" Gaia asked. "I've never heard of this."

"It is a problem with no sunlight. People weren't meant to not have sunlight. We're in the ground with no sunlight. We need to find a way to get what need that we can't get from the sun now. Abby's working on vitamins and supplements, but she mentioned that everyone would do good to sit in the farm."

"Then, everyone will work the farm, _Blodreina,"_ Indra stated.

"And, we will use that time to teach them _Trigedasleng o Gonasleng," _Gaia added.

"Good, that is good. This is good. We can do multiple things together like that."

"Where should we train the _gona?"_

"Find rooms on the lower levels. Clear them out and use the pit. Everyone learns to fight, child and adult, alike. We don't know what we are going to find once the doors are open. We need to be ready," Octavia stated.

"Yes, _Blodreina."_

"That is all for now. Call Niylah for me. I have something for her to do before the council meeting today."

The both nodded and took their leave. It was too easy and she knew it. The council would baulk at her work days, but they had to do it.

"At least one day a week on the farm...two days training...that leaves four days for what...learning another trade?" she mused aloud.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

_"Blodreina!" _

Octavia shot up on the couch, knife in hand from only she knew where, and eyes wild. Indra took two steps back and waited for Octavia to realize where she was and who she was with. Her crazed green eyes fell on her mentor and she blinked.

_How long was I asleep?_

"_Blodreina, I have news," _Indra told her in Trig.

"What?"

"Clarke settled in _Louwoda Kliron."_

"I know that."

"It means that she is near. I think you would say around a hundred miles from here. With no horses, it would take us less than a week to get there. We would have to plan accordingly. I would like to have more information about the land we would cross. We haven't been across it in five years, but Clarke spoke of deserts and tree bones. I am not sure what to make of the landscapes."

"I will listen again and let you know. Start gearing up for a march. Pack bags and prepare weapons. We don't know who is coming and we don't know what we will find out there. I'm hoping that in her rantings about the landscape Clarke can give us more, but I don't know how much time will have until they get here. Get the guards ready first."

"Yes, _Blodreina."_

She looked at the desk and saw the maps with Indra's markings. Teaching them how to read English had been a challenge, but Indra knew that as the next in line, she needed to know it. She'd spent many nights with Octavia, Niylah and Kane. Octavia taught her maps and war books. Niylah taught her to read. Kane taught her how to enjoy it. She was loath to admit it, but reading had given her something to look forward to some nights as she bunked down, even if she'd read through Niylah's library twice in the last two years. She knew that Octavia wouldn't rest until they were all safe and back on the ground again. She just had to keep the faith and when it came to Octavia, that had never been a problem. Her "sky daughter" had always proven to overcome everything thrown at her and win. This would be no different.

Octavia just watched her. There was something in Indra's eyes lately. It was like she was proud of her and Octavia wasn't sure what it meant. She'd done so much while they were in there just to keep them alive that she wasn't sure who she really was anymore. Born a second child to become the "girl beneath the floor," labeled a criminal for just existing, hated for being part of _Skaikru, _proving that she was worthy to be Indra's _sekkon,_ taking on the mantle of _Skairipa _to fight for the continuation of the coalition, letting it all go just for a moment of peace, only to come back to _Skaikru _to be their champion, won the conclave for the bunker and titled _Osleya, _to finally christened in blood as the "Red Queen," Octavia had never really had a true moment to herself for herself. For Indra to still be proud of her meant something, she just wasn't sure what, but she also knew better than to test it.

She moved across the room. She promised to eat dinner with Ethan every chance that she could. He had grown well considering what they had to deal with, but she had no reservations when he came to her and asked to be trained for the guard. She'd had Miller working with him until Indra saw him sparing. She knew that they needed to harness his anger and make sure that he wasn't hot headed. When Indra approached her about making him her new _sekkon_, Octavia listened to their arguments and agreed with them. Indra had helped temper her and she hoped that Indra could do the same with him.

There was a knock at the door bringing them both out of the reverie. Octavia up and at the door before Indra could get there, much to the older woman's dismay. She opened the door to find Miller standing there. She cocked her head and waited for whatever report he had to give.

"Abby asked to join you for dinner," he stated.

"Is it time?"

"Yes, _Blodreine," _he replied.

"Indra, let's go."

Octavia didn't wait for her to answer. She followed Miller out of the office and through the bunker to the mess hall. She wasn't surprised to see Gaia and Abby sitting with Ethan, waiting on them. She gave them a quick smile as she and Indra made there way through the line to get their trays of food. Octavia couldn't help but smile at tonight's selection.

_At least, I can actually identify most of it tonight and it isn't slop,_ she thought as she sat down next to Ethan and across from Abby. Indra sat to her left and Gaia was across from her. Miller sat next to Abby.

"Thank you for meeting with me," Abby said.

"I always value your opinion, Abby. I can tell something is troubling you though. What is it?"

"I would like to discuss it later," Abby replied giving her a look.

"This has to do with the Eden project?" Octavia asked her.

"It does."

"Then, we will go back to my office to to discuss it after dinner. I am anxious to hear your theories on it. Thank you for giving it a quick response," Octavia told her and then turned to Ethan. "What did you learn about today in school, Ethan?"

"_Flaimkepa Gaia _told us the story of the birth of the _Hedas, _again."

"Did she have your recite them?"

"No, not today," Ethan answered between bites.

Octavia gave Gaia a rare smile. It had taken a while, but Gaia had finally come to an agreement on how to teach all the children of the bunker. When she finally understood that teaching them meant teaching the next generation, who would in turn teach the next generation, who might actually find a new _Natblida _among them, Gaia decided that she would have to select a _sekkon_ to continue the traditions of the _Flaimkepa_ and teaching them she would have better access to selecting possible candidates.

"I will test them again by weeks end to recite the list from _Beka Praimheda _to _Lexa kom Trikru."_

_"You don't teach them about Klark kom Skaikru, the savior of the Flaim?" _Octavia asked in Trig.

"She was never a true _Natblida, Blodreina," _Gaia replied.

"Neither was Becca," Octavia countered.

"She was the first," Gaia stated.

"But, if I remember correctly, Becca invented the black blood in order to help those who survived the initial death wave. It was made to help them deal with the radiation and not die. She had to come from the sky, from space, to give it back to the ground. She was effectively from _Skaikru_ and she saved all the early grounders so that man could still live on Earth at the time, even though no one in space knew. To discount Clarke is to discount what she did to try to save us and it discounts what Becca was trying to do when she invented the blood. Had Clarke not found the medical files in Becca's lab, there would be no more black blood and no way to make it. It also discounts what she did to save us all from A.L.I.E. and the City of Light. Clarke did as much as Lexa had as _Heda_ to save us all in a few months. Can any other _Heda _besides Becca say that?"

Abby stared at Octavia. She'd never heard Octavia stick up for Clarke before. She knew that Octavia and Clarke had their differences, especially when it came to the missle and Ton DC, but here was Octavia, one of Clarke's most vocal opponents, speaking up for her and almost demanding that she be added to the list of _Hedas. _Abby watched as Gaia bristled at the admonishment and Indra looked slightly uncomfortable.

"Do you not tell them how she took the Flame and A.L.I.E.'s chip in order to free everyone from the chip's grip on their minds? Do you not tell them how Lexa herself came to Clarke while she was in the City of Light, to not only defend her but show her how to beat A.L.I.E? Is that not what the previous _Hedas _do? Do they not help who has the Flame so that they can rule to best of their ability? Do you think that Lexa wouldn't have welcomed Clarke as her successor if she'd known that Abby had synthesized the blood and Clarke had it?"

"She wasn't born with the blood," Gaia stated.

"I don't care. She sacrificed herself in order to test it as a trial, just like Becca did to make sure that it would work. Clarke's name will be added to the list of _Hedas_ or the list will be removed and not studied. She might have only had the position for a few hours, but she did more in that time to protect us all than I have done here," Octavia said.

Indra's head snapped to her side as she looked at Octavia. Miller sat stoically and waited to see what Gaia would say. Abby tried to hide her smile at Octavia's dressing down of Gaia and what she was teaching, but then she wondered why Octavia was suddenly taking such interest in Clarke's name being added or even taught about in referrence to the Flame. They all knew that Clarke had come minutes from being Lexa's true successor if Roan hadn't spoken up about how she came about the blood.

"As you wish, _Blodreina,_ I will add her to the list. You are right. She was _Heda_ even if it was only for a few hours," Gaia replied as she backed down to Octavia's bidding.

The cocked eyebrow that Octavia made as a simple reply wasn't unwarranted. Gaia knew that it meant that Octavia would follow up on it later to make sure that it happened and she wouldn't be asking Ethan about it either. Gaia nodded and looked down at her plate, obviously upset at the turn of events, but wise enough to say nothing more. Gaia knew that she needed to stay on OCtavia's good side if she wanted to stay Flamekeeper, period.

"Miller, I need you to start a rotation in preparations to go to the surface. I want an assembly ready to be the first to go. Select your list and give it to Indra for more training and evaluation. I want to prepared for anything when we get back on the ground. I know that it has only been five years, but we know how hostile the world was before. I do not doubt that it will be worse, now," Octavia told him.

"_Sha, Blodreina."_

_"Blodreina?"_ Ethan asked her getting her attention.

She could tell that he was bored. He was finished eating, but there was something that he wanted to do. She quickly looked around and noticed that Kane wasn't there. He'd become a father figure to Ethan and Octavia appreciated it.

"Go find Kane, Ethan. Don't stay up too late. You're starting patrols in the morning with Indra. Don't be late," Octavia told him.

"_Sha, nomonsis," _he replied, jumping up and taking his tray.

Octavia gave Miller a look and he nodded, following the boy and the unsaid command to make sure that Ethan got some sleep. Gaia took that as her cue to leave. Looking down at her tray, Octavia picked up her bowl and drank the soup quickly. When she was finished, she took her small ration of bread and ate it quickly before guzzling her glass of water.

"Bug bread?"

"They've started mixing it in with the nuts. No one has noticed it yet because of the crunch of the nuts. I asked them to start upping the proteins in our servings. It was the only way they could without sacrificing too much of the other nutrients we need," Abby replied.

"Good. I like it. We'll let them know to serve it more often now."

"_Blodreina,_ I believe that we need to discuss the map and other things."

"Sure. Abby, if you're ready, we should head back to the office. There are too many ears here and they will not understand. How late are you free tonight?"

"I've got Niylah and Glen working tonight. I should be fine unless there is a major medical emergency. But, I've instructed them to find Jackson first."

"Good, walk with us," Octavia said.

Abby got up and to take her tray, but Indra waved her hand at her and she sat it back down. A young cook came to collect them from the table. He quickly bowed to Octavia and received a pat on the shoulder for a job well done. Abby knew that the teen would take that as a blessing from his queen. She might not like the politics of it all, but she had to believe that Octavia had done well with what she had to work with. She'd kept them alive and she was preparing for the ground without exciting everyone. It was a smart plan. They didn't want everyone getting too restless when the rescue didn't come.

They retired to Octavia's office and sat down on the far side of the room with the radio. Abby looked at the maps and overlays that Indra had been working on earlier that day. Octavia studied them as well. She was hoping that they would have a better idea of how long it was going to take for them to get there, to Eden and to Clarke.

"Octavia, she mentioned the never ending sands, but something else."

"It's been a long time since I listened to some of the recordings. Tell me what she said. I don't remember," Octavia told her.

Indra just shook her head. She moved to the radio and grabbed the first disc that she'd been listening to while Octavia slept. When she turned it to put into the player, Octavia saw the #3 written on it. And, before she was ready, Clarke's voice was coming through the speakers.

"Day 55, I think. I don't even know anymore. After the thunderstorm destroyed the panels on the Rover, I wandered the desert. I knew that the dust storms were bad, but I forgot about the obsidian in them. Shrapnel mixed with sand. Hiding is the only way to survive it. Thankfully, that buzzard found me..." Clarke said before Octavia reached over and turned off the recording.

"What is this 'obsidian' she speaks of?" Indra asked.

"Glass. It's natural glass. Usually found in the ground or near volcanoes."

"Why only there?" Octavia asked.

"I keep forgetting that you didn't get the same school, Octavia. Obsidian is naturally occuring glass on Earth. It is basically sand that has melted together to form a smooth, usually dark glass like rock for lack of better term. Obsidian was used by Natives and Aboriginal peoples for years as knives, arrowheads, and ax heads. If obsidian chips or flakes are mixed in with the sand, it would be the shrapnel she speaks of. It might not be deadly, but it would be very painful if one was stuck in a dust storm. To hear that they destroyed the Rover's panels is distressing as well. This means that there is no universal size for them."

"So, our people wouldn't die, but they would be injured."

"Yes, and it would be painful," Abby replied.

"Then, we need to find a way to combat this. We have to cross the wastelands to get to Clarke's Eden. What can we do?" Octavia asked them both.

"We would need strong cloth, something that would withstand knife strikes, and we would have to cover ourselves from head to toe."

"Then we will."

"I will get with Niylah to work on the guards first," Indra stated.

"Good. But, we will need more. We will need to see. Is there some sort of goggle or something that we can make?"

"I'll work with Jackson in the morning. I'll see what we can come up with. Face masks would be ideal for head coverings but I know that things are limited, so those with high collared shirts should pull them up. We'll come up with head coverings and goggles. How many should I have made ready?"

"A platoon, thirty at minimum. I want to be able to move freely once we can. I have no idea what they are planning, Abby, but I swear to you that I will not let anyone take Eden from Clarke and Madi. We will fight for it. They've fought for it for us, making sure that it would be ready for us when we get out of here. It's time we returned the favor," Octavia stated. "Stay and listen to more, Abby. I'm going to find a patrol and walk with them tonight. Indra, call a squad for me."

"_Sha, Blodreina," _Indra replied as she went out of the office.

"We'll get to her, Abby."

"Will be worthy of her Eden, Octavia?"

"We will. We have to be. She's been waiting for us all."

"I don't know that I can..."

"Hey, yes, you can. You will be able to face her. You didn't do anything wrong this time. I did. I'll take her wrath for it. You kept us alive. You fought for every life in here, Abby. Never forget that," Octavia told her.

"But, the pills..."

"Are you still taking them?"

"No," Abby said quietly.

"Then, there is nothing to be ashamed of, Abby. We all have our demons that we must face. Clarke is no different. She will forgive you, just as I did."

"Why did you?" Abby asked throwing Octavia off for a minute.

Octavia thought about it. She knew that she had every right to throw Abby in the pits, but she never did. She couldn't. She wouldn't. She needed Abby too much. But, how could she tell Abby that she was worth more than anyone else and that is why all of her crimes had been forgiven, even those that were hidden? She couldn't. So, she did what she had to do in order to make sure that Abby never made it into the pit. She knew that Indra protected her. She knew that Kane would, too. It was easy to turn a blind eye to and pretend she didn't know then, because she wasn't the only one breaking her laws for _Wonkru. _

"Why did I what?" Octavia questioned in reply, hoping it would throw her off topic.

"Forgive Clarke, or forgive me," Abby stated.

"I never said that I've completely forgiven Clarke. I haven't. I don't think that I ever will. I can't condone what she did even if Lexa ordered it. I can however understand it. Understanding is a very different thing than forgiving. I get why she did a lot of the things that she did while we were _Skaikru._ I get it. I understand the want to protect your people and still win the war. Clarke has only ever done what we asked of her after we landed," Octavia explained.

"I don't understand."

"You sent her down to Earth to see if we could survive. You did it to give her a chance so she wasn't floated. You did it to give her a second chance and she ran with it. She found a freedom that we never understood. She made us band together and survive. She is the one that saw the dangers around us and made us do something about it. She wasn't willing to lose any more people than we had to before the rest of the Ark came down. We made her our leader because we realized that we trusted her more than we trusted Wells simply because he was Jaha's son. From the beginning, she fought for us. Never once did she put herself first. And, she was smart enough to know when to tell us that she'd fucked up. Not every leader can do that, but Clarke has never been ordinary, Abby. You know that. You warned her not to lead. You knew that she was too much like her father, but she isn't just like him, Abby. There is a lot of you in there, too. Sure, she saved us all and lead us into the alliance with the Coalition, but there was more than that. She was worried about our survival. She was our doctor before you came down. She did everything she could to make our lives better and to keep us healthy and sound," Octavia explained. "Knowing all that and then finding myself in this position, I know now what she bore so that we could be who we wanted. I know what she sacrificed in order to make sure that the rest of us were happy, healthy, and surviving. She bore it all so we didn't have to. That has to weigh on her, a ton."

"Heavy lies the crown on the king's head," Abby muttered.

"Shakespeare," Octavia stated.

"What?"

"The real phrase is 'Uneasy lies the head that wears the crown'."

"Still it remains," Abby replied.

"It's true. I know you know as well as your time as the Chancellor. However, I will never forget the night that Clarke told you that your title didn't matter because she was in charge. It reminded me that she was willing to do whatever it took to make sure that we survived everything. It was the factors that she couldn't control, like Bellamy and Pike, that plagued her the most. She did what she had to, but still we lost everything. I know that she feels like she failed us, but she didn't. I did."

"How?"

"Look around us, Abby. I led us into this devastation. I know that I am not alone in this thinking. I turned away our own people because I was angry. I forced Kane and Jaha to select ninety-eight members of _Skaikru _to survive. I fought and won the bunker for us, for all of us, but I was angry. I was determined to not make the same mistakes the Council, but I did it anyway. I played God with man."

"You kept your word, Octavia. You save man. You brought twelve hundred down here and you did everything that you could with what we had to keep us all alive."

"You say that now, but you weren't saying that in year one, Abby. I know you weren't. I wasn't either. I barely cared until I heard Clarke's voice and then I knew that I had to keep us alive. I couldn't betray her trust. I had to make sure that most of us made survived this 'entombment.' I had to do it so Clarke would know that she wasn't alone. I had to do it for myself to prove that I was more than what I was," Octavia told her.

"What do you mean?" Abby pushed.

"I was the 'Girl beneath the floor,' the illegal second child, a fifteen year old secret that got buried on Earth at the age of sixteen with a bunch of other deliquents. I was never expected to be much. The only thing that the council expected from me was my death. When I got to Earth, I never felt like I completely belonged. Then I had Indra and Lincoln. I became a warrior. I fought and fought, only to have everything that I was fighting for taken from me. I followed Clarke to protect her and ended up becoming an assassin. I did that to help Clarke and to help a people that never called me there own. The only true 'clan' that I've ever belonged to and felt like I did was the hundred, Abby. I was the girl from the Sky that had no home, no tribe, no connection. And, that was all I ever wanted. Clarke gave me that no matter my sins. She always brought me back into the fold and propped me up with no questions. I know there will be questions and I will answer them, Abby."

"And, she'll still forgive you," Abby stated.

"She probably will, but I have to know that I've done everything I can to protect the eight hundred plus souls still with us now. I know what she dreams about. I know the horrors she faced for us. I know the calls that she's had to make and I thank her for that. She stepped up when no one else would. She took on the burden because she felt like she had to and as soon as she took the mantle, we let her. Then, we demanded it of her. We broke her because we asked her to do this thing, but never fully supported her in it. I had support and still I failed. I allowed myself to just..."

"What? Absorb the power? Octavia, you've done things that I am not happy about. But, not once have you done something that couldn't be fixed. The pits were a result of needing order. We got it. We were twelves tribes of men, with different thoughts and beliefs, thrown together to survive. It was utter chaos. You made a decision and you stuck with it. Crimes needed to be punished. We needed less people. Make every crime a capital offense to worked off or executed in the pits took care of both problems. Was it ideal? No, it wasn't. But, in the end, we've survived. Crime rates dropped considerably in that first year. How many times have you held the pit this year, alone?"

"Twice," Octavia replied.

"Twice, with five people each right. So, we've lost another eight. They were criminals and their offences weren't small, Octavia and you know that. You honestly in the last few years only pushed for the pits for offenders if you felt the crime exacted that type of response."

"Setting fire to a bunk?"

"Yes."

"Stealing food."

"Yes."

"Slapping your wife?"

"No, new housing," Octavia said.

"See, you still do it. If it would damage us, you punished them. It was something that could be dealt with quickly, it was. If it was something that you wanted more information on, you called for an investigation by the Guard and the Council. You would consider all of our findings and then determine the crime. Over eighty percent of those cases never ended up in the pits, Octavia. You were still protecting your people."


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

**Fifty Days after _Praimfaya_**

"It's been a rough few days since I've left Arkadia. Still not seeing much of anything but desert. There is sand everywhere. Trees dot the landscape in this new area, but the sand is still everywhere. There is no forests. There is no grass. Just sand and dead trunks of once mighty trees dotting the landscape.

"That is only part of the problem. I'm out of water and dangerously low on rations. I have gear and supplies to dig in somewhere and live, but I'll probably die before I get to anywhere with some real vegetation. But, I keep on driving. I'm hoping to find something down in the mountains, somewhere that wasn't touched by the death wave. Somewhere that has water or rain or ... I am going to have find somewhere soon.

"I need to find somewhere to stop for the night. I need to find... I'll talk to you in the morning. Hopefully, tomorrow will be a better day," Clarke said over the radio.

Octavia had listened to every word, hung on to it as she heard Clarke rambling about ghosts in Arkadia. It had only been a few days since she left and she could hear the resignation starting in Clarke's voice. But for Octavia, she was angry. Clarke wasn't allowed to give up. She had to survive. She had to be there when they opened the bunker. She had to prove to them all that she was _Wanheda en Natblida._ Then, Octavia could hand over the proverbial crown and finally just be. She knew that it was a fantasy, but it was one that she could perpetuate and believe in as long as Clarke stayed alive. Hearing Clarke gave her the hope, as dangerous as it was since they knew that there was no way for them to escape on their own, that Bellamy and company, Clarke included, would save them all...again.

Her anger clothed her in a false warmth as she fell asleep that night in front of the radio. The office was locked and she'd given Indra and Miller express commands that she wasn't to be disturbed, not even for Ethan. Unless it was a dire emergency, like Abby somehow slipped and stabbed herself with a scalpel in her jugular, she was to be left alone. She needed a break from all the "queening" that Gaia had her doing. She needed to be able to talk to Clarke, but they were too far down in the ground for a signal to get out. Kane explained something about interference or something due to the radiation. It didn't explain why Clarke could talk, but no one could reply. She never told Kane that, but it still made her wonder. Raven would have been able to explain it better, or even Jaha. She didn't have a true engineer or mechanic. She would just have to make do with Kane's explanations.

She woke hunched over the radio's table. Her back surprisingly didn't hurt, but her arms ached. She got up quickly and did some drills to get her blood pumping. She opened the door and asked that her breakfast be brought to her. Miller silently nodded and sent the other guard. She needed to learn his name, but there would be time for that later. The guard brought her breakfast and she ate it. Looking at the clock, she realized that Clarke, if awake would probably be broadcasting again. Handing them her tray, she shut the door and locked it. Ten minutes later, she heard Indra and Kane arguing. Miller stepped in and Kane's voice faded. She knew that this meant Indra was taking over as guard to let Miller sleep. Indra wouldn't allow anyone in unless Octavia okayed it first.

She prepped the recorder and waited. Starting at the clock, she was worried. It was later than normal, but then the crackle of static could be heard. She plopped down in the chair in front of the radio and reached over to tap the record button. Her fingers danced over the button as Clarke spoke.

"It rained last night. Woke me up. Stood in it for a good few minutes before I remembered to collect any to drink. Gulped it down add filled as mangy containers as I could. At least now I have water. I'm out of food though. Trudging on through this skeleton of a forest.

"You know after forty days under ground, the sun was a beautiful thing to see. Now, I curse it midday and pray for its return every night. Now, I don't care as long as I find something to eat. There's still no vegetation either. Hell, I'd eat grass right now if I could find any. Until tomorrow, stay sane and remember I don't blame you for leaving me behind. I'm glad you all survived, Bell. Never forget that."

Octavia could only wonder why Clarke telling Bell that she'd forgiven him for leaving her. She knew what happened and why Clarke was still on the surface, but why was Clarke always begging him to forgive himself? She wondered if Clarke had to make him leave her for them to go. It was the only thing that Octavia could imagine. Bellamy wouldn't just leave her behind. He wouldn't leave Octavia out of the bunker. It must have killed him to leave Clarke and Clarke was constant in her forgiveness. It made Octavia wonder what happened between them while they were saving Raven.

Day flowed into night with only the clock on the wall showing the passing of time. She missed the sun. She missed the moon. She swore that she would sleep under the stars for a week when they got out.

But as night flowed into another day, Octavia feared that Clarke wouldn't be there. Time meant nothing when there was no one to share is passing or nothing to honestly mark it. Octavia had meals. Clarke had the sun, but it all still meant nothing. It wasn't the first time that she was scared for Clarke, but it was the first time she thought Clarke might actually die.

She stared at the door that next morning. Her heart aches to tell Abby, but she still hesitated. She feared the devastation that it would cause. Abby was still fighting the stroke caused by A.L.I.E. Losing Clarke would kill her will to live. No, Abby would just have to wait to know the devastation of actually losing her daughter this time. It was crass and despicable, but she would bear it if meant that Abby lived. And, when Bellamy rescued them, she would destroy the recordings and pretend that she didn't know. It was selfish, but justifiable. She would bear the burden of Clarke's death, so that _Wonkru _didn't.

"Well, Bell, looks like Earth still gives and takes. I got water yesterday. Loads of it from what I could save and bottle, only to lose the solar panels on the Rover in a dust storm. The obsidian destroyed them, so now, I don't have the Rover. I'll have to go on foot and the forest is nothing but burnt trees and sand. The solar panel farm is over a hundred miles away, to the north, but I can make it. I'm going to head out for it, soon.

"I know, you wondering what I'm going to do about food. I found a small pack of ration bars hidden in the cargo hold. Don't know how long they've been there, but they are still intact. Also, some sort of huge flying moth-beetle thing. They are juicy and crunchy. The Rover was covered in them. Scraped some off for dinner last night and then watched the dust storm roll in.

"I tried to save the solar panels and failed. The wind was just too strong and the glass mixed with sand shattered the rest. But, I'm still alive.

"The radio is still good and charged for now. I'm only going to turn it on to call in the morning after I wake. I'll have to make sure to find shelter every night on the way there and mark it on the map for the way back. Piece of cake, right? Besides, no matter how hard the Earth tries, I just won't die. I'm the great _Wanheda, _remember? If the Earth wants to kill me, it can have at it."

Octavia smiled. There was the Clarke she knew. Fighting, fighting back, fighting for life, just fighting. Clarke never stopped fighting something. She was glad that she'd heard that she found food. The water yesterday was a blessing. But, to find some rations and the bugs...to only lose the solar panels. Octavia could only hope that the Rover was somewhere near a better place. She knew Clarke would make it. She had to. She was the "Commander of Death." She wouldn't let hunger or thirst kill her. She hadn't let _Praimfaya_ kill her. So a trek to get solar panels should be a breeze.

Octavia was mildly mannered that day. She toured the bunker and talked with all the leaders. People seemed to be fairing well, considering they were in a concrete tomb buried under the rubble of Polis. Bill Cadogan's Second Dawn Cult had survived the first apocalypse there. Octavia's _Wonkru _would survive the second.

She made her way into the mess hall for dinner. Looking around the noticed, honestly, for the first time the posters and banners hanging. She knew that most of _Wonkru _couldn't read them, but she could. "From the Ashes We Will Rise" was the motto of the Second Dawn cult. Gaia had taken it on for the new incarnation of the Flame religion. But more importantly, Octavia saw banners that stated "Blood must have Blood" and "Your Fight is Over." They were in English and she didn't translate them for the masses. The iconography was enough to get the point across. She realized that this was where the Grounders came from shortly after Becca landed.

Becca treated those that she could above ground. "Blood must have blood" wasn't a crime and punishment phrase. It meant survival. Becca's blood cured people. It saved thousands to continue to live above the ground. But, the more that Octavia thought about the histories that she knew of _Trikru, _since they were the ones that settled in this area, the more she realized how corrupted the phrasings had become. It also meant that a lot of _Trikru _were descended from the Cult members. It didn't matter now, but it must have been a big deal when they opened the bunker back then. How long had they stayed aground before coming out? It must not have been that long, if Polis was literally built on top of the bunker and lost to all but the priests and priestesses of the Flame. Hell, Gaia didn't even know how to get in it. She doubted that Titus did, either.

She wondered how corrupted the phrases would be, again, when they got out. She shook her head and made her way back to her office. She refused to bunk away from the radio when she needed to hear Clarke's voice in the morning. Tomorrow was a new day, with new promise, and hopefully, Clarke had made good headway towards the solar field to get new panels for the Rover.

She awoke earlier than normal. Looking at the clock, she waited. It would be hours before Clarke made her transmission and Octavia needed something to do to pass the time. Working out wasn't going to work because it would only make her angry and frustrated that she wasn't on the surface with Clarke. And, thought struck her as strange. As much as she wanted to be angry with Clarke, she wanted to protect her as well. Maybe it was because she knew that Clarke had protected Bellamy so many times. Maybe it was just because Clarke had saved their collective asses so many times over the last few years. Or, maybe it was because Clarke was alone. Whatever the reason, working out with one of her guards to keep her skills sharp would only prove to make her angry and when she got angry, people genuinely got hurt. She couldn't afford to wound a guard. Not now, not when everything was starting to actually settle.

She sat down at her desk and looked over the tablets. She noted that the Hyrdofarm was at 85% production. This gave her hope that they would last even though Cooper thought they wouldn't. The air scrubbers and water purification filters didn't need cleaning for another ninety plus days. She looked up at the door and realized that she would need a _Skaikru_ based team to team a group of Grounders how to do that. They needed more than _Skaikru_ to be able to keep the bunker running. Grabbing a sheet of paper, she started outlining the needs of the bunker a little more fully. Besides the medical needs and the farm, they needed technicians. They needed guards. They needed the army for the surface, but they needed artisans, craftsmen, and traders now. This would be her new council. They would be the leaders of the teams that were keeping the bunker alive. The _krus_ would have to blend and work as one and giving the trades the power would help unify them all.

She'd given Indra her idea and she seemed to support, but then again, Indra would be on the council as her general. Kane was easy enough to sway. As was Abby being the head of the _fisas, _but she was met with some resistance. It wasn't unexpected. She'd planned for it. She knew that they would all demand that they have tribal representation, but she stood firm. There was only one clan, one tribe and it was _Wonkru. _They were the last of man in all of the universe, that they knew of, and man was now the endangered species. She was waiting to have the leaders of the trades come forward to form their new council.

She had her breakfast and thought about what Cooper and Abby had told her about the loss of the proteins. She lay on the couch and stared at the "From the Ashes We Will Rise" banner in her office. She felt herself drifting. It was hard to find purpose when she was just supposed to lead them. She had nothing to lead them to except extinction. She was determined to survive and she was fighting for them all to survive.

She dreamed of what the world would look like when they got back to the surface. It always started out lush and green, vibrant and colorful, ready and waiting, but then it would turn to ash and sand, rubble and rock, barren and hot. She had nothing but Clarke's eyes to see things through. They had no idea the Hell that awaited them above while they eked out an existence in the bunker. Her mind drifted again and again, wondering and depression was always just niggling in the back of her mind.

She looked at the clock. Clarke hadn't checked in. She decided to wait.

Indra found her for lunch and made her eat. Clarke still hadn't radioed. Octavia was starting to drift more and more. Surviving wasn't going to be worth anything if they couldn't survive on the surface. Life would mean nothing if the Earth was too far gone to support them.

Indra watched her watching the clock. She knew her general didn't know what it meant or even how to read it, but Indra didn't leave. She also didn't make Octavia talk, which was odd. She could tell that Indra knew something was off, but she wasn't pushing about it. The usually gruff warrior just watched an CD waited like she knew the suffering Octavia had taken on personally. She was patient with Octavia, more so than with anyone else, but when Octavia knew that Indra's patience had a ending.

It wasn't that night though. Even when her shift ended and Miller's began, Indra remained. Octavia said nothing still as she collapsed on the couch and slept. When she woke, Indra got up from the other couch and got breakfast.

They ate in silence so thick it was deafening, but Octavia still said nothing. For two days, she waited and Indra never pushed, never left her side, and never broke their silence. On the third day when Indra left for breakfast, Octavia locked her out.

And then all hell broke loose.

Octavia sat at the radio desk and stared at the radio, willing it to life at roughly 10 AM, but there was still no word from Clarke. It had been three days of silence and Octavia finally broke. She snapped. Hitting her knees, she wailed to the heavens and ground above.

Indra tried the lock. She'd only heard Octavia make that heartbreaking wail twice before and both times were about Lincoln. The first when he had been captured by the Reapers and the second when Pike executed him in Arkadia. It had been in the night after Bellamy brought Lincoln's body to her that she cried and let loose the ear piercing scream of a lover who had lost everything. Indra knew that pain, knew that loss. The Reapers had taken her husband and son. They weren't in the Mountain when it fell. But, Indra was at a loss as to why Octavia was wailing and raging now.

"Get Abby," she hissed at Miller while she tried to break down the door.

Octavia trashed the office. Overturning the desk, up ending the chairs, ripping banners of the wall, she didn't care if she was hurt. Clarke was gone. The earth...was gone.

The other guard turned to Indra and awaited instruction. Indra knew they had to keep this quiet. No one could know that _Blodreina _had broken.

"Find Kane. Speak to no one. And, send _Skaikru en Trikru _guards to me. Now!"

The guard didn't hesitate. He was gone in a flash. Indra would watch him or have him watched. If he proved loyal, she get Miller to promote him. If not, then he would be missed among their population. They couldn't afford a coup in the bunker and Indra wasn't about to let it happen on her watch. She'd die first.


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

Abby watched her as Octavia sat in the office going over maps with Indra. She couldn't help herself. This was a new Octavia. She was preparing for battle, but she was keeping it low key at the same time. She wanted to know more about what Octavia was scared of, but she had years worth of recordings to listen to from Clarke. Her curiousity about what her daughter had gone through while they were in the bunker won out over knowing that Clarke must have said something that was spurring Octavia's sudden actions.

She knew that Clarke would forgive Octavia, even if Octavia couldn't forgive herself. Most of them had survived. It hadn't been ideal, but they were all still alive. Eight hundred forty-seven souls, men, women and children, all alive because Octavia refused to let them forget who they were and what they were fighting for. She was a harsh and strict leader, but it was what was needed. The Grounders fell in line first. Indra and Gaia at her side, the eleven clans bent their knee to her and swore allegiance. _Skaikru _should have, Kane wanted to, but they resisted. They couldn't understand how one of their own didn't save more of them.

It was in all in their thinking. _Skaikru_ still thought that it was better because it thought itself more civilized. They weren't more civilized, they just had better technology, and Abby was proof of that. She'd seen what they were capable of, what they would do when backed into a corner, and she prayed that fighting wouldn't always be an answer.

Octavia was ready to fight for Eden, to protect Clarke and Madi, and to make sure that they made their way to Eden to recolonize the Earth. This wasn't a decision that she made lightly and Abby could see it on her face. Octavia was torn about ordering the Guard to prepare for war, but she was worried about what they would face once back on the surface. It must be something Clarke said. There had been no real messages since Octavia started gearing up. She wanted to hear what Clarke's last transmission.

"Last disc labeled 'Home," Octavia told her without looking up from the maps.

"What?"

"Her last transmission, it is on the disc labeled 'Home'."

"How did...?"

"Abby, just go listen."

Indra smiled over the maps and pointed out the most direct route. She'd been listening to Clarke's transmissions and planned out a route from Polis to Eden. Octavia agreed with the route, but she wished that they actually had some true recon of it. She wanted to see it for herself before she sent her men blindly into it. She knew that it wasn't possible, and she hated it. She thought about telling Miller he couldn't go, but she knew that she needed loyal leadership.

Abby found the disc and loaded it into the player. She waited for a few seconds until she heard Clarke's voice. She did her best not to cry, not to be totally emotional as she heard her baby's voice and knew that she'd survived knowing that they couldn't get to each other.

"Go farther...around thirty five minutes in, I think," Octavia told her as she finally turned to look at Abby.

Abby pushed some buttons and waited. She looked at the counter and waited until it hit thirty-five minutes. When she hit play, she sat back and Clarke's voice filled the room.

"Bellamy, if you can hear me, if you're alive, it's been two thousand one hundred ninety-nine days since _Praimfaya. _I don't know why I still do this everyday. Maybe it's my way of staying sane, not forgetting who I am, who I was.

"It's been safe for you to come down for over a year now. Why haven't you?

"The bunker's gone silent, too. We tried digging them out for awhile, but there was too much rubble. I haven't made contact with them, either.

"Anyway, tell Raven to aim for the one spot of green and you'll find me. The rest of the planet from what I've seen basically sucks."

There was an obvious break in the transmission. Then, a sound like engines came across the speaker. Octavia and Indra looked up and watched Abby's face.

"That's a drop ship and it isn't ours," Octavia told her.

"Never mind. I see you," Clarke said and the roar of the engines behind it got louder until the transmission just ended.

"How do you know that it wasn't Bellamy?" Abby questioned as she just watched Indra and Octavia working over the maps.

"Just keep listening," Octavia told her.

"We're here, we're here!" Madi screamed over the radio.

"Madi, get down. Back up the Rover. Stay out of sight and load up the guns."

"All of them?" Madi asked, worriedly.

"All of them," Clark answered and the transmission ended.

Octavia sat back and waited for the coming questions she knew that Abby would have.

"Guns?"

"Yes, it seems that our Clarke has found some guns and ammo during her adventures above ground," Octavia replied and then pointed at the map. "Here. We'll start for here and work our way south to the valley."

"I'll have Cooper start making us some ration bars," Indra told her.

They weren't ignoring Abby. They were giving her time, to think, to understand, and to come to conclusions. And, Octavia knew that minute that every thing clicked in the doctor's mind. Her eyes got large and she fell back into the chair.

"My baby is in trouble?"

"When is Clarke not in trouble?" Octavia asked with a smirk. "No worries. She's already shown them that she a force to be reckoned with. And, so has Madi."

"What does that mean?"

"She defended her valley."

"Defended her valley?"

"She fought them from taking it over. It seems that they weren't prepared for your daughter and her mini-me. Seems Clarke didn't just teach her about Grounder and Ark culture. They taught each other to live off the land and survive. That didn't just mean farming and fishing, Abby. They both learned how to hunt in that valley and I don't doubt that Madi is just as capable as Clarke is when it comes to firing a weapon. We both know that she wouldn't just fire unless she felt threatened."

"And you know this how?"

"It seems that the ship that came down is using a boosted radio. I've been listening to their transmissions. Haven't recorded them or Clarke's since the last one. It didn't seem to be important. Plus, I don't care about a bunch of prisoners who think that they are going to take the last inhabitable place on Earth for themselves."

"They started a war?"

"They picked on the wrong blond," Octavia said with a hint of pride in her voice.

"What are you going to do?"

"I plan on taking the valley back. Then, we are going to settle there and live, thrive and survive. I hope that Monty makes it back and that he finds a way to help the Earth fix itself. If anyone can do it, he can. But, before we can do anything, we have to get out of the bunker," Octavia told her.

"And, how are we going to do that?"

"We aren't going to do anything."

"Then who is?" Abby asked.

"Seems that Bellamy found a way to come home after all."

Abby looked at her. Octavia wasn't planning to just head to the surface and wait. She was gearing up for a war. It only made Abby wonder what she knew that she hadn't told them. What had Bellamy done?

"What did he do?"

"He made a deal to get Clarke released."

"What was that?"

"He didn't kill all the prisoners still in Cryosleep in space, if they gave up Clarke and dug us out."

"What have we missed?"

"A lot is seems. But, Clarke and Bellamy seem to have things underway. I will give her our army once we're above ground."

"What about Madi?"

"What about her?"

"She's a night blood, Octavia. She has to be. The people..."

"The people will be told that Clarke gave her the serum when she found her. I'm not going to jeopardize her for some religion, Abby. For all intents and purposes, Madi is now your granddaughter. I will not sacrifice her to maintain order. And, I doubt that Clarke will even let her take the Flame," Octavia explained.

"That is why you haven't told Gaia," Abby reasoned.

"Yes, because I know that as soon as knows of another _Natblida, _she'll start to push harder for a new _Heda."_

"Would that be so bad?" Abby asked.

It was Indra that spoke in response, "Yes."

It was a simple but true answer. The people had learned that the time of the _Hedas _was over. There were no more true black bloods among them. There was no one to take the Flame. This hadn't been the case from Becca to Lexa. For a hundred years, there had been a Commander, a black blood, that did their best for those still alive. Clarke had even taken the Flame and A.L.I.E.'s chip for a few hours. If Abby hadn't arranged the transfusion of Ontari's black blood, Clarke would have died. For those few hours, Clarke was the last the _Heda, _even if she hadn't been born with the blood. And, it was from that moment that she tried to synthize enough of the blood after Luna refused to take the Flame in order to save man. Making everyone a black blood would have saved more, but they simply hadn't had enough time to make enough and make sure it worked. Abby herself had been to grief stricken and sick with herself to risk Clarke's life to test it and in the end, it didn't matter. The Death Wave came faster than predicted. Luna, the last of the nightbloods, fought in the conclave for the bunker, but only to make sure that man died out.

Lexa had been the last of the natural born _Hedas_ and she made the coalition and united the thirteen clans of survivors. She started the building blocks of _Wonkru, _One Crew, one clan of men. _Wonkru_ was part of the alliance that Lexa and Clarke had started. This was part of Lexa's legacy. They had lasted without a _Heda _now for close to seven years. It didn't mean that Octavia wouldn't turn her reign over. She might, depending on what happened once they secured the valley, but until then, she wasn't willing to let anyone else lead them to victory. She also knew that Indra shared her thoughts on the matter.

Abby watched them. She could tell that they had thought this through. And, more she thought about it, the more she realized that they were right. Making Madi, a child, her grandchild, their de facto leader was dangerous. Madi would become a target for anyone who started a coup. Octavia could take the heat. She already had. And, she realized that she wasn't just doing to protect the people. Octavia was refusing to let Madi become _Heda_ because she was still a child. She was using her own upbringing, the lives of the original 100, as reasoning to protect Madi from the mantle of _Heda_ for as long as she could. But, Abby could also sense a sense that Octavia would train the girl, lead her and give her the Flame when the time was right. She just hoped that Madi wasn't still a teenager when it happened. Too many children had to bear too much, already. She would spare her granddaughter, blood or not, for as long as she could.

"Raven told me once that Clarke had stopped being a child the moment she landed on Earth. I guess I never realized how much she had to grow up, how much she had to do to protect us, how much she did in order to keep us all alive until the fall of the Mountain. I never wanted that for her, for you, for anyone. We didn't know," Abby lamented.

"I know, Abby. We all did, but we were children that had to grow up in minutes. We didn't have the luxury to make mistakes that didn't cause suffering. We lived and learned by everything we did, because at the time, it was life or death. Clarke has always had a good head on her shoulders. She was the one that made us see that we had to work together in order to survive. She wasn't about to let us all suffer and in the end, we made her our leader because she was the that stepped up. It wasn't Wells. Hell, Wells had a target on his back from day one just because he was Jaha's son. Clarke got a nickname as soon as we landed."

"What was it?" Abby asked.

"Princess."

"This is why _Trikru _called her _Prisa?" _Indra asked.

"Yes, it wasn't a title, but a nickname and one she hated, but I am sure that she would trade it all to not be _Wanheda,_" Octavia told them.

Indra and Abby let that sink in for a moment. Clarke hated the title, they knew that, but they realized that she had earned it. She stepped up when no one else would. She did what she had to do in order to protect her people. And, it was like a silent agreement that they would do whatever they had to protect their people, especially the original hundred that came down. There weren't many left of the hundred. Forty something had come out of the mountain, and even less had made it into the bunker.

"What will you do with Clarke and the rest when they get here?" Abby asked her.

"I'll ask them to join us, Abby. I won't force them. I know that Clarke might be the hardest to convince though because she's been on her own. But, know this," Octavia started to tell her.

"What?"

"I want her on my council. I want her on our side. I want her to know that we support her and we want to keep Eden as violence free as possible. She's known peace there, Abby and I mean to find a way to give it back to her, if I can," Octavia told her.

"And, what if we have to fight for it?"

"Then, I will fight for it for her. I will give her back her home. I will lead the men into battle. I will not ask her to do it. She's dealt with enough. It is time for someone else to bear the burden, and I'll do it. Indra?"

"Always by your side, _Blodreina,_" her general ordered.

"Select your troops and get them armed."

"_Sha, Blodreina._"

Abby watched her, unsure of what Octavia's true motives were, but not willing to risk it for Clarke's safety. If Octavia wanted to take Eden, at this point, she'd let her and she'd follow her if it meant that she got to see Clarke again. At this point, Abby didn't care what had to happen. She wanted her daughter back and if that meant following Octavia into Hell she would do it. Six years...six years she thought that Clarke was either dead or in Space. She hoped that it was her that they heard knocking, but they couldn't be sure and they couldn't be sure that even if they could get to her that she would live or they would live with the radiation exposure. Knowing now that it was her and that she'd been on the surface, alone, without anyone to help her, broke Abby's heart. She thought she'd lost her daughter in the Skybox. She sent her to the ground. She lost her to the Mountain, then to Lexa, then she almost lost her to A.L.I.E., and finally to the Death Wave and _Priamfaya. _She wasn't about to lose her again.

The radio cracked to life. The first sounds in days coming across the speakers. They all stopped and looked at it, waiting to see what was said.

It was just clipped military style transmission in voices they didn't know. Positions and teams calling in over and over as they cleared something. Octavia felt her blood boil. She looked up and remembered that Indra wasn't there. They were hunting Clarke. They were hunting Clarke and she was in the gods-damned bunker. They were hunting Clarke and she had no back up, no other protection. They were hunting Clarke, which meant they were hunting Madi, too. Octavia felt her fingers digging into the desk as she stared helplessly at the maps before her. Glaring at the overlays of where they thought Eden was, she silently planned to murder every single one of the invaders once she got to the surface. But the more she heard coming over the radio, the more she didn't want them to die quick and easily. No, she would punish them and they would be begging for their deaths. She would make it slow and painful, and then she would heal them only to let them believe that she would let them live. And, then in true _Blodreina _sadistic fashion, she would order their death in true Grounder fashion: Death by a thousand cuts. There would be no mercy for them. They were hunting Clarke and she would hunt all of them.

"Change of plans, ladies and gentlemen, no more prisoners. Shoot to kill," the order came over the radio and Octavia raged.

Abby ran across the office and captured her arms, holding her tightly as she screamed and wailed. Abby was crying, but she knew that she had to keep Octavia from hurting herself. She knew what the radio calls meant. She knew that Clarke was in trouble and she wanted to scream, too. But, she needed Octavia level headed. She needed her to be ready when they got out.

"Octavia..."

"They are hunting Clarke..."

"I know and if needed, we will kill them all. I won't stop you. But, you can't do this again. You can't rage out and not expect others to know this time. We protected you last time, but Clarke needs you. She needs us. We need believe that somehow she is going to get us out of here. But, you can't rage on and be weak when they get here. You need to bear this, like I do, and then we can rage on the surface," Abby told her as she stared deeply in her darkened green eyes.

Octavia raised her head, slowly and nodded. She knew that Abby was right. She needed to be ready, but it was seeing that similar fire in Abby's dark eyes that actually got through to her. Where Abby was dark, Clarke was light. Polar opposites but so much alike, it was that fire that would fuel Octavia's rage later. She would drink it up and use it to lay waste to any that opposed her, Clarke, or tried to take Eden for themselves. They hadn't survived the bunker this long to watch it all disappear.

"I'm okay," Octavia stated.

"No, you're not, but I'm there with you."

"I'll be okay. I won't do that again. I'll wait. I'll bear it until the surface."

"Good," Abby told her and took a step back releasing her.

"I will make them pay, Abby. I swear it. I will make them all pay," Octavia practically hissed.

Abby didn't answer. She just watched the younger woman. She'd seen that despair, that anger, and that hopelessness in Octavia's eyes before.

"You weren't suffering from Sunlight Psychosis last time, were you?" Abby asked her quietly.

"No."

Abby looked at her. She could see the memories flashing through Octavia's eyes. There was a story there that she didn't know. She needed to know it, now.

"What happened?"

"Clarke disappeared."

"What does that mean?"

"She'd run out of food, but found moths. She'd run out of water, but it stormed. She was making a come back. She was looking for a place to live and dig in until Bellamy came back."

"What happened?"

"Sand storm destroyed the panels on the Rover. She decided the next morning to start hiking to the solar panel fields to the north of her. It would take a few days on foot, but she promised to radio in to Bellamy everyday."

"She didn't?"

"No, she didn't. Three days of total silence and I broke. Two days in the bed," Octavia answered as she pointed to the bedroom off the office she rarely used. "Two days of sedation while you had me under sunlamps that should have been in the farm, two days of my dreams destroying my hope further until I broke through the sedation and told you that I was better. Five days without contact, but I had to resolve myself to survive. I had already started documenting her transmissions on the discs."

"She contacted Bellamy again, though, right?"

"Day fifty-six, she finally did. It was a few days later when she met Madi. It was touch and go for a few days, though. I ..."

"What happened?"

"Madi led her into a bear trap. She hobbled back to the village and sewed herself up. She must have passed out from the pain and Madi stole all her supplies. She didn't know her name, but knew she only spoke Trig. She nicknamed her the 'child from Hell.' It was all very amusing and very uplifting for me."

"Why?" Abby questioned.

"Because if Clarke could make it, I knew we could once we got out. I had proof that man would survive. It gave me faith again," Octavia told her.

Abby just nodded. She realized that Octavia had taken on more than she thought. The young woman, just like her daughter, bore her pain silently as she commanded through their survival and the only true beacon of hope that Octavia had through it all was her daughter's transmissions. Abby had turned to pain pills to numb the pain, but Octavia had embraced it and used it in order to protect them all.

"Thank you," Abby said as she gathered Octavia in a bone crushing hug. "Thank you."

Indra chose that moment to come in and looked at Octavia, her hand already on her sword, ready to draw. Octavia shook her head and finally returned the Abby's hug. Pushing the smaller brunette back, she looked deeply into her dark chocolate eyes.

"I will find them and I will bring them home. I will not fail in this, Abby. I will save them, if I have to break every bone in my body to get out of here."

"I know," Abby replied quietly. "I'll go back some medical kits for you. Let me know what else you hear."

"I will."

Indra waited until Abby was gone to give Octavia a questioning glance. Octavia paced in front of the radio. She didn't dare change the frequencies. She needed to know everything that she could about her enemies.

"What happened?" Indra finally questioned, breaking their silence.

"They are hunting Clarke and Madi. 'Take no prisoners. Shoot to kill,' were their last orders. They are hunting her, Indra."

Indra just growled, low in her throat. It was a sound that Octavia knew well. Indra was pissed. She wanted blood. And, this time, this time "Blood must have Blood," _Jus drein jus daun,_ would be followed. There would be no mercy for those hunting Clarke. They weren't men in their eyes. They were the enemy and they had to die.

"_Jus drein, jus daun," _Indra stated.

"_Sha._"

"And, if she isn't injured?" Indra asked.

Octavia looked up at the dark warrior. There really wasn't a question in her eyes. She just wanted the kill order. Indra suffered no qualms with eliminating whoever it was that was threatening Clarke. She might not have liked the blonde in the beginning and even tried to kill her herself, but she'd be damned if she'd like the blond _natblida_ die by someone else's hand. On the ground, it was life or death. And, no matter who was leading them, they all needed Clarke to live. She actually felt sorry for whoever was hunting the tough blonde. She was the great _Wanheda _and they had no idea who and what they were going up against. Octavia gave a simple shake of her head and Indra knew what it meant. Octavia didn't care if Clarke was injured, they were all going to suffer simply for hunting the blonde to begin with.

It was hours later that the radio came back to life. Octavia tried to picture it. The darkness of night as the people were still out searching for Clarke and Madi. A smile crept across her face.

"Someone just ran out of that cave. Harris! Watch your six."

"Roger that."

"She's a fast little thing. Cut her off at the lake. Go west."

The transmission garbled, but didn't stop. Octavia turned up the sound. She could hear the apprehension in the men's voices and she smiled. Clarke was still drawing them in. She had to be. And, then a thought hit her. It wasn't Clarke they were after, it was Madi. Her hand dropped to her side and her sword.

"I got a shot!" one of the men called out.

There were some more transmissions. It seemed they were surrounding whoever they were after. Octavia's eyes met Indra's and both women were taught, ready, and very, very angry as they listened.

"Fire a will," a woman called over the radio.

It was obvious who they had to kill first. She was the leader. She would die in front of her men for this. Octavia and Indra would both make her pay for killing their people.

"She went behind those twin rocks..."

"I'm going in..."

"All units, stand down, over," the woman said suddenly.

Octavia and Indra both stared at the radio. What was happening? Why were they stopping the hunt?

"If we stand down, she'll get away. I'm taking the shot," one of men stated.

"Faulk, if McCreery disobeys, shoot him in the leg. Harris, if Faulk disobeys, shoot him in the head," the woman told them.

"Standing down," the first man replied.

"Good choice. There maybe traps near your position. Check it out and report back, over," the woman commanded.

"Sonuvabitch, another bear trap. Almost stepped right in it," he stated.

"Report back to base camp, over and out," the woman replied.

The radio was silent. Octavia took it as good news. It meant the hunt was off and they would be able to dig in and fight another days.

"Colonel, we've got five more hostiles. At least one is armed. Are we still playing nice?" a new man asked.

"Stand by," she told him and then a few minutes later added. "Four of ours are dead. Time to even the score."

Then radio silence.


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8**

**56 days after ****_Praimfaya_**

She woke to see Indra with her head on the edge of her bed. Looking around, she realized she wasn't in the office, but the "leader's quarters." She was realized that she was laying in the bed, sun lamps poured light onto her and an IV hung from the large headboard. Her eyes flitted in the light as she tried to let them adjust. As she tried to sit up, Indra woke from her position and looked at her.

"How long was I out?" Octavia demanded.

"Which time?" Abby asked as she walked into the bedroom from the office.

Octavia gave her a warning look, but Abby continued moving to the bed. She had her medkit in her hands and Octavia looked worried. She looked back at Indra for something.

"I'll stay with her Indra. Go check on the guard and make sure that there are no rumors. Kane and Gaia still need to be watched," Abby told her as she started pulling out instruments and setting them on the side table by the bed.

"_Sha, Abi,_" Indra answered.

She stood up and placed a hand on Octavia's leg. She tapped it a few times, gave her a weak smile and then left. There was a sadness and worry in her eyes. There was also pain, but it seemed to lessen now that she knew that Octavia was awake.

"Abby, what happened?"

The doctor stopped and turned to face her. She could see the war in Abby's eyes. Finally, she sat on the edge of Octavia's bed, but she stared at the IV above her head.

"Roughly three days, you started suffering from Sunlight Psychosis. Instead of the normal loss of desire and overwhelming sadness, you raged. You were inconsolible as she tore through the office, destroying everything that you touched. You'd locked yourself in the office alone. Shortly after Indra broke the door in to get to you, she had to fight you to the ground," Abby told her.

"Do they know?"

"No, they think that Indra, you and myself are working on some sort of vaccine or something for medical. The guards have only been from _Skaikru _and _Trikru._ Miller and Indra made sure that they were loyal. So far, there have only been a few questions as to why they weren't be traded out with the rest of the guard like normal. Indra convinced them that they were needed to patrol their own people instead, each assigned another guard just be sure. Kane has been dealing with the council meetings on your behalf. A few were upset with that until Indra and Gaia both told them that he was who you had appointed while you were working with me on other matters."

"Why does Indra look like I'm going to throw her in the pit?"

"She had to choke you out. Your neck is still showing some bruising. I brought some surplus lamps in here to help you."

"You've kept me in my rooms so no one would see me?"

"Yes."

"Why?"

"Because the bunker doesn't need to know that their leader was hurting, in pain or injured. It could have caused mass chaos and many possible coups. As much as I hate to admit it, we wouldn't survive if that happened. We need to keep you alive because you are the only thing that is keeping us from imploding on each other. The Grounders respect you, for both your military might and your desire to keep their traditions and history alive. We still support you because you are one of us, even if we don't always agree with your politics," Abby told her.

"I don't have politics. I'm trying to maintain order between twelve different clans who wouldn't care if they wiped each other off the map. We need each other to survive. They need us in here and we need them once we get back to the surface. When _Skaikru_ realizes that, there will be less infighting amongst everyone," Octavia replied.

"Be that as it may, you weren't exactly a cooperative patient. I had to sedate you a few times. This has honestly been the most coheirant you've been in the last three days. I am glad to see that you are awake. I was afraid that you weren't going to wake this last time."

"I need to get up. I need to move. I can't stay in this bed anymore. The people are going to start to question why no one has really seen me. I need to be seen."

"That will happen, later. Right now, I'm going to exam you. I want to make sure that you are better. And, then I'm going fuss at you as your doctor for not following your own mandate to have time in the farm for the sunlamps. Octavia, you aren't immune to everything just because you are _Blodreina._"

Octavia nodded. Abby picked up some of her instruments and began to scan Octavia. She had no idea when or what Abby was using as a baseline for her, but she let the doctor work. Out of all of the people in the bunker, Abby was one of the few that she actually trusted with her life. Kane was iffy on each given day, but Indra and Miller, she didn't have to worry about. The more that Abby worked, the more that Octavia wondered if she was going to crack and tell her why she threw her fit.

"You're definitely better. There don't seem to be an issues or lasting effects from your tirade in the office. I will ask that you take it easy of the next few days. I don't want you injuring yourself or causing anymore damage than you've already done to your hands. No, sword fighting for at least a week. And, try to refrain from punching anything. I don't want to have to reset your hands completely," Abby said as she sat back a little and looked into Octavia's eyes.

"I'll do my best."

"You'll listen or I'll confine you to quarters."

"You wouldn't dare," Octavia replied as she shifted towards the doctor menacingly.

"Try me, Octavia. Do it. See what I'll do. I can put you back on your ass with a shot just as fast as Indra can. I don't want to do that."

"Then don't.'

"Then, listen and take care of yourself and I won't. We can't lose you, Octavia. Clarke and Bellamy would never forgive me if you died. So do me a favor, listen and take it easy for a week. Then you can go full _Blodreina _on whoever needs it. Until then let Indra handle it. Got it?"

"Yeah, I got it."

"I'll make sure she listens, Abby," Indra stated as she came back in the room, carrying a tray of food.

Octavia looked at it. It didn't look like a lot and she wondered if Kane had instituted smaller rations while she was incapacitated. The smell hit her and her body responded like she was famished. She knew that was after being put for almost three days. She knew that Abby had been giving her nutrients through the IVs but nothing compared to real food. Her stomach growled.

She picked up her fork and took a tentative bite. She couldn't help but moan at the bite. Then her head reeled as she realized that she had something to eat. Clarke didn't even have this luxury. She had nothing and had been heading out into the wastelands in search of the solar panel fields.

The food turned to ash in her mouth and she dropped the fork. Indra and Abby stared at her. She pushed the tray away. Looking up into their questioning eyes almost broke Octavia's resolve not to tell them about Clarke. She felt so guilty, on so many levels.

"You need to eat," Abby urged.

"I'm not that hungry," Octavia lied.

"Fine, then I'm not leaving or letting you leave that bed until you've eaten at least half of a full meal's rations."

Indra grunted. She didn't say anything, only glared at Octavia until she picked up the fork again. The dark general was worried and Octavia knew it. She could see it, but that didn't stop the guilt and shame she was harboring.

"Fine," Octavia said as she started eating again.

True to her word, Abby didn't leave until Octavia was done. She told them that she would be by later, just after lunch to check her over again and make sure that she was actually on the mend and didn't need the sun lamps anymore. Octavia reluctantly agreed to stay in the office for the rest of the day, per Abby's orders, but she knew that the people needed to know that she was actually alive. It had been three days since anyone save for Indra and Abby to have any real interaction with her. If she couldn't leave the office, it didn't mean that she couldn't have the council members come see her.

She walked, slowly and gingerly, to her office, to her chair, to her place of power. She knew that she needed to act nothing had been amiss for the last few days. As long as only a few people knew the truth, she would be able to hide behind her doors and keep the secret. She knew that Indra and Kane had done what was needed in order to protect her and keep the peace at the same time. As much as Indra was always ready for war, she knew that coup would destroy the bunker. Kane's patience and political mind would protect them all as long as they listened and tried harder. Octavia decided that she was going to do everything that she could to make sure that they made it until Bellamy came back. She had to save them all. It was her duty now. She would bear all the pain and suffering in order for them to all survive. She needed to be better.

"Where is Kane?" she demanded as she sat in her chair, her throne sort of.

Indra just stared at her for a second before opening the door and nodding at Miller. The other delinquent said something quietly and then walked away from the door, obviously under Indra's orders. Octavia trusted him more than anyone else from _Skaikru_ and it wasn't just because he was another one of the original hundred. It was because he was loyal to the cause of survival. He also loved Jackson. Octavia knew that it meant he wouldn't do anything that would cause waves and he would fight to make sure that they both made it. He also knew that Octavia had a better chance of figuring something out to get them out because she was just as wily as Clarke and Bellamy. He also knew that she wanted to live. She would find a way to get them out. He had no doubt of that.

He also understood her brutality. He lived through the first few weeks on the ground, alone and not really noticed. He done what he needed to survive, but she'd seen him. She'd spoke to him. She tried to include him in the hunts and such, mainly because he could tell that she wanted a friend. He started to respect her then. He respected her even more when she came to the Mountain to save them. He was stuck in the Mountain while she was learning to fight and be a Grounder. He was thankful for that. He respected her more for defying Indra that night and standing with her people. She'd helped to save them. Sure, Clarke and Bellamy killed all the Mountain Men, but Octavia led an assault against them with just a sword. She was nuts, but he'd follow her into Hell if she asked. He owed her more than just his life now. He owed her for Jackson's, by winning the conclave. He owed her support and loyalty and she would get it until his last breath. He also knew that Jackson understood his position, even if Eric didn't like it. Jackson was his only weakness and just Abby, Octavia would protect him as well.

Miller came back with Kane. Gaia was on his heels, but Indra stopped her at the door. The priestess wasn't happy, but she obeyed. Octavia could hear her huffs, but she didn't care. She tolerated her for the sake of Indra and nothing more. She was only still alive because she gave the people something to believe in. She reminded all the Grounders of their faith in the Flame, and that somehow after the bunker they would have a new _Heda. _Octavia needed her for control issues, but she also knew a lot of history. She was a teacher and a priestess. And, that kept her alive.

"Octavia, it's good to see you up," Kane stated as he sat across from her at the desk.

"Is there anything that I should know?" she asked him.

"The council is in flux as you requested. Cooper is doing good with the farm. The former council wasn't thrilled with your proposals, but after a very heated debate, they understood the reasoning. Some however feel that making Indra your head general shows favoritism towards _Trikru. _They also fear that having so many people that are from _Skaikru _in charge to keep the bunker running means that another incident could occur."

"I agree with them."

"So, what do you plan on doing about it, _Blodreina?"_

_"_I plan on talking with each group of the new council and telling them what I am looking for in their representation. I will let them elect their council member from among their group. Cooper, Indra, Abby, and Miller however are non-negotiable. They will be the only ones that I select, the rest will be up to the people."

"Very well, what is Cooper in charge of then?" Kane asked.

"The farm and food production."

"Does that include cooking?"

"Yes, because it deals with the food and rationing. All cooks should report to her. I've already given her instructions that the cooks should be one group and the farmers another. She will represent them both, but I understand that they will be coming from two different angles. That is why when the cooks aren't cooking or cleaning between meals, they will be working on the farm. The 'down' hours they spend in there will count towards their mandatory farm hours for the sunlamps. They also work the longest shifts among the rest of the bunker," Octavia told him.

"That sounds good. Abby is already working with all the healers that were sent down. She's arranged a schedule and is happy to report that Niylah is working with her, sort of like a pharmacist for her."

"Why?" Octavia asked.

"She's put Niylah in charge of the inventory and making sure that they have clean bandages. She volunteered to help when she heard that everyone would have to learn a new trade. She wants to help and was already working with Abby some at Arkadia before. She worked with you then, as well."

"That's fine, but I need her to be in charge of our stores. I want one representative from each clan to supply an inventory master. They will report to Niylah and they will care for our stores and surplus. Guards will be assigned to watch the stores, but I need people that we can trust to make sure that we have what we need."

"And, who should run it if Niylah becomes a _fisa?" _Kane asked her.

"You," Octavia said quickly. "I don't care who is technically in charge of the the bunker trading post, but Niylah has experience and you are diplomatic. You'll run it with her. Whoever comes to help will join the council. I would prefer Niylah because she already has ties to _Skaikru, Azgeda, en Trikru._ She might have more considering where her father's trade post was. The other clans seem to respect her for that and for equal trading. Make sure that she guarded though. I don't want anyone thinking that they can get over on her. She doesn't really fight back to much."

"I'll get with Indra and Miller for that."

"Good. Indra will maintain an army and train them. They will work in all sectors of the bunker, but they will train with her to keep up their skills. I will not deviate on this. We don't know what we are going to find or what we will be up against once we get out of here. I don't want to be defenseless. I know that you think the Guard will be enough, but they will be a supplament to the army. They will be policing the bunker while we are in here. Miller is their captain and I want clan members from each clan to step forward to serve with them. They will serve with together and police each other," Octavia stated.

"How so?"

"If say Miller and Indra are partnered, then today they will do their shift through _Trikru_ areas and report any issues and deal with issues as needed. Tomorrow, they will do the same but in _Skaikru_ bunks and areas. But, I want the teams mixed. I don't want two clans together. This will build up the tolerance for each other and allow each clan to begin to mold into _Wonkru. _This way they can't say that one clan is being favored over another. Each clan will have to supply the same number of people and Miller will dole them out as needed. Indra and Miller however will prepare a team that is to guard the farm and mess hall. Those guards will be rotated but will be maintained under strict orders. If they fail in their post, they will be reassigned to another job and someone else from their clan will have to step up in their place. They will also be publicly shamed for hurting the bunker as a whole. Examples will be made of them, but I won't let them die. We need everyone," Octavia stated.

"And, the children?"

"Should already be studying with Gaia. Elders will select who will teach their histories and fables to the children. This will be a second job and fulfill that requirement for the clan leaders who chose to do it," Octavia said.

"So, everyone will work roughly an eight hour shift at their primary job, at least two to three days in the farm for fours hours for mandatory sunlight, and then three to four days of four hours at a secondary job for training?"

"Yes."

"And, what will you do?"

"I will train with Indra and the army. I will work the farm. I will check on the inventories and I will hear my council. The people will see me, Kane. I cannot expect them to all fall in line if I am not willing to do the work myself," Octavia told him.

"Then, I look forward to seeing in you in the store rooms," Kane replied.

"That is all. I'm tired. I'll see the council members and other leaders after lunch perhaps. We will get this all ready soon. Thank you for your continued support," Octavia told him as she stood and held out her arm.

He reached across the desk grabbed her arm shaking it. He had to admit that she looked better. He was glad that she was awake. He was afraid that she'd finally broken and that it would all end disaster. She would push the farm work for the sunlight harder now that she was awake. He was sure of it. She was working on keeping them alive and that meant everyone. She wasn't going to let them fall. She would be the one that led them back to the surface and helped man repopulate and recolonize the Earth. As he left he couldn't help but think that she was the one they really needed. She was ruthless, but she was kind. She was prone to fighting, but she thought about what was worth fighting for. She would push them, but he knew it was for their own good. She was what they all needed because she listened to all the clans.

"Until after lunch then, _Blodreina,_" Kane told her as she followed him to the door.

She met Indra's eyes just before the door. She shook her head and Indra nodded. The darker warrior stepped out behind Kane and blocked Gaia and anyone else's entrance. She didn't care what she told them. She needed time and space to deal with her head before she faced them all.

Clarke was dead. She had nothing else to believe. It had been over six days with nothing. They didn't know anything else about the surface except the little things that Clarke had already told them. It hurt, but she needed to find something else to keep her faith going now. She was the one that they were all going to look to and she needed to make sure that they all made it to at least year five or better. The door might have been blocked, but she had to hope that when Bellamy came, he would be able to dig them out. She wanted to give him as many people as she could before she stepped back and just lived again, knowing that her sword would always be ready.

She turned to actually go back towards her rooms and her bed when she passed the radio. She reached over to check it. Obviously, she hadn't done anything to it while she raged through the office as Clarke's absence. Amazingly, it was still on and set up to record if anything came over, but there was nothing new for her. She stopped and ran her fingers across the top as she sent another prayer up that Bellamy would come get them out after the five years. The radio came to life.

_Cough. Cough. Cough. _ Octavia heard come over the speaker. She dropped into the chair. Picking up the mic, she called out to whoever was on the other end, hoping beyond hope that she would get an answer.

"So, day fifty-six, I think. Not sure, lost my way in the desert on the way to the solar panels. Never got there though. But, I found some place better. It is in _Lowanda Kliron Kru_ territory. I found it yesterday. The death passed over this valley. There is everything we need here. Fresh water, vegetation and some animal life. I haven't seen much of it yet, just a single village. The radiation killed everyone. I've explored a little, but there are no survivors. Just me. Tomorrow though, I will start the process of sending them to their gods. I will light their funeral pyres. I think I am going to sacrifice one of the buildings to do it. If I don't, I don't know how long it will take me. I can't believe it, Bellamy. This place is so beautiful, so full of color. This is what I dreamt about in the Skybox. This is what I wanted Earth to be. Instead we found death and war, but here, it is just a village that was full of life and love. Maybe that is why it was spared. I don't know. I'm going to clean it up and see what I can do while I'm here for the next five years. At least, I have plenty of time to get it ready for you and Raven. I know that she is going to want to tinker with anything I can find. I'll do my best to find something for everyone. Until tomorrow, Bell. Stay safe and may we meet again," Clarke called over the radio.

Octavia dropped the mic. Clarke was alive. She'd survived. She wanted to know more, but now, she knew that she would. Clarke was too stubborn to die. She wasn't going to go down in the desert. She was and is the _Wanheda_, the Commander of Death, and she would conquer it over and over until she was ready to die. Octavia hoped that it was a good long while before she was ready to give it all up.


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9**

Octavia hadn't moved from the office. Indra hadn't either. Miller and Abby were the only two that came and went. They could hear Gaia and Kane begging for entrance, but being turned around for hours and not allowed. At one point, Octavia heard Kane arguing with Abby, to no avail. she came in without him, tears in her eyes, but still resolute on finding a way out.

"I don't know how they did it, Colonel, but we can't contact the ship. They're blocking it somehow."

Octavia smiled. They couldn't call down for reinforcements. Whoever was on the ground was as stranded as Clarke was. She was evening the playing field. She was taking matters into her own hands. Octavia was proud of the blonde. She didn't know how she did it, but she knew that Clarke was the reason that the soldiers or whatever they were, were now scrambling.

The radio cracked to life again, "Raven, can you hear me? Come in."

"BELLAMY!" Octavia screamed.

He was back. Bellamy was back. He had to be. He had to be on the ground. And, if Bellamy was on the ground, then...

"Tell me everyone's okay," Raven demanded in answer.

Octavia now knew that it was Raven blocking their signals.

"The Flame be praised, they're back," Indra whispered loudly.

"Everyone's okay. We reached a deal with the people from that ship. And, by the way, laser comm's an open line, so they can hear every word we say."

"Nice to meet you. We're not bad people. We..." Murphy stated.

"Raven, keep him away from the radio," Bellamy ordered.

"Copy that," Raven replied quickly.

"Anyway, they know the rules, but just to be safe, Colonel Diyoza, here they are again. If anyone tries to get around your security, you pull the plug. If anyone does anything that wasn't agreed upon, you pull the plug. And, if you don't hear from me, every hour on the hour, you pull the plug," Bellamy told her.

"Is that all?"

"No, that's not all. Someone wants to say hello," he told her.

"Raven, Murphy, it's really good to hear your voices," Clarke said over the radio and Octavia could feel her heart leap with joy.

"Clarke, I don't believe it," Raven replied.

"Jeez, and they call me the cockroach," Murphy added and Octavia couldn't help but laugh.

"Hey, you guys just be careful up there, okay? We'll talk more when this is all over. I want to hear everything," Clarke told them.

"Okay, but first, thank you for saving our lives," Raven replied.

"I miss you both," Clarke answered.

"Raven, stay safe. We'll talk soon," Bellamy stated.

"Yeah, every hour on the hour," Raven said.

Octavia backed away from the radio. She knew what Bellamy was doing or at least, she hazard a guess. He was using this Colonel Diyoza to dig them out. That was part of the deal. It had to be.

"Indra, get the pit lined with guards and the army. They are coming for us. I want to be ready. Bellamy is coming to get us."

"_Sha, Blodreina, sha!_" Indra stated as she ran from the office.

"I don't know how much time..."

"They are alive, Octavia and they are coming for us. We'll deal with the rest later. Right now, we need to focus on them coming and be ready for them."

"And, you?"

"I'll be waiting in here, out of the way, until you determine that it's safe," Abby replied.

Octavia just nodded as she ran to her room to get her armor. She was putting it on when Abby stepped forward. She helped Octavia clip on the red cape.

"Are you going to paint your face?"

"I think that they are going to meet the Red Queen and I'm going to figure out who from their side dies first," Octavia replied.

"Just make sure that Clarke and Madi are safe first," Abby reminded her.

"That will not be an issue," Octavia stated.

The guards lined the rails, armed, both obviously and not. Indra directed some of her lieutenants and captains to have their squads at the ready as well. Cooper was even decked out, armed, and at the ready. They knew that Octavia had been preparing them for this, but they also knew that they had to be ready to for anything that came through to them. She made sure that Abby and Kane were away, hidden, and protected. Niylah was nearby, but she wanted to keep her out of sight. She knew that Niylah meant something to Clarke, as did Abby and Kane. She wasn't willing to have them on the front lines. If something popped off once the bunker was open, she wanted them protected. She wasn't sure that this Colonel Diyoza was a woman of her word. She trusted Bellamy and Clarke. She trusted Raven, but she knew that they weren't all together. This meant that Diyoza was a wildcard that she had to be ready for, with anything and everything that they had to defend themselves.

It was only a few hours after her call to arms that the first rumbles came from overhead. Rocks and debris started to fall into the pit. She was standing down in it, not having expected them to come down that way to them. She had to reach up to block the blinding light of the sun as it filtered through. The only thing that she could make out was a dark shape, human in nature, coming down a rope towards her.

Whoever it was was bathed in sunlight and after years in the bunker, she couldn't really see them. Another rope dropped and another body started their way down. It was a long way down and as she watched the second person coming, the first stepped out of a section of rubble and towards her. She dropped her hand as he moved out of the light into the artificialness of the bunker and into her line of sight.

"Bellamy?"

"Hey, O," he said.

She dropped all pretense of being _Blodreina_ and ran towards him, hugging him fiercely. She couldn't bring herself to care. Her brother was back. He was back and she knew that he was alive. She was hugging him. She didn't care what it looked like. Bellamy meant they were getting out of the bunker and that they were free. He would help her lead them all to Eden and to Clarke and Madi.

"I knew you'd come. I knew you'd come for me. Thank you," Octavia told him as she looked him over a little more.

His beard was new, but it had been six years. He looked distraught, but that was normal for him, considering. She just kept staring at him, amazed that he was there.

If she'd been paying more attention, she would have noticed that the second body that had been descending had landed. She let go of Bellamy and turned to face the new body, but they landed in the shadows while she and Bell were in the bright sunlight pouring through the hole they'd come through. She moved just enough and raised her hand to block the light as she moved towards them. She felt Miller moving behind her. His constant shadow had been a comfort to her while she ran the bunker and it still was. She heard Bellamy tell him hello as she moved closer to the other body. Finally, the sunlight broke some and the shadows lifted enough for her to see who it was.

"Clarke?" she asked.

The blonde turned around to face her as she finished unhooking herself from the lines that allowed her down into the bunker. Octavia held back. She wanted to run into her. She wanted to hug her. She wanted to ask her so many things. She wanted to meet Madi and wondered if she was still topside or hiding in Eden. She was about to do all of the above when she remembered that Clarke didn't know that she heard all the transmissions. Clarke didn't know that Octavia had heard her at her worst and lowest points while being on Earth. She didn't know that Octavia had celebrated with her at Madi accomplishments over the last few years. So, instead of giving in to her wants, she reached out for Clarke's arm and shook it in normal Grounder fashion.

"_It's good to see, my Wanheda," _Octavia told her in Trig.

She knew that adding the "my" was a little much and she saw Clarke tilt her head at the greeting. She didn't know if Clarke would read too much into it or if she would just let it go. Octavia heard the murmurs being said as her acknowledgement of Clarke's title. She'd done it on purpose. She knew that her legend would grow larger when the people of _Wonkru_ found out that she'd survived _Praimfaya_ and lived in Eden the entire time that they were in the bunker. They needed something to believe in and Clarke could give them that. She laughed at what she thought Gaia would say when she found out that the great _Wanheda_ with her "fake" black blood survived and would lead them to their new homes in Eden.

"Octavia," Clarke replied as she eyed her.

When they broke free of each other, Clarke and Bellamy locked eyes. They weren't sure what they were seeing, but the people looked...different. Octavia knew it and she knew that Bellamy would judge her. But, he wouldn't understand. She could tell from that one look that everything was still black and white for him. He didn't understand the gray that she had to live in so they would survive. She could see in Clarke's eyes, a form of understand, but she didn't break their silence.

Two more came down on the lines as they stood there, a woman and a man. She knew that Clarke and Bellamy were trying to take everything in. She knew that it didn't look lively and great. In fact the pit had been dark and really depressing until she ordered them to clean it up some days prior. She knew that Bellamy would balk at what had happened. She wasn't so sure about Clarke. Time would tell, but that was all they had now that they were back together. Time.

She looked at the other two and wondered who they were and where they were from. Their clothes were jumpsuits like some of the mechanics had on the Ark, but they were a weird tannish yellow. They wore some sort of body armor that reminded her of the guards as they loaded her on the Dropship. Their eyes were cold and dark. She didn't like them immediately. There was just something about them that made her skin crawl and her hand automatically moved to her sword. She didn't draw it, but it was only because Bellamy put his hand on her shoulder and leaned in to whisper, "Raven is our guarantee."

He didn't know that Octavia knew. She straightened up and nodded. She knew that Bellamy knew that it was enough for her to know that Raven was involved somehow. He couldn't know that she knew Raven was still in space and could pull the plug on someone or something that this Colonel Diyoza thought was very important. Miller moved up to her right side. Bellamy didn't miss the movement. Nor did Clarke, but wisely neither said anything.

"_Watch them," _she told him.

_"Sha, Blodreina," _he replied and made some gestures.

Bellamy saw some people move, but it wasn't enough to hold his attention. Clarke however was scanning the crowd. Octavia knew who she was looking for, but she didn't offer to take her to her mother. She couldn't not yet. She wanted to see how this played out. She had over eight hundred souls she was responsible for and she wasn't about to let anything happen to them just because there was a hole in the bunker and they could get out now. She needed to make sure that they got out safely and they had a way to Eden without too many mishaps.

The woman stepped forward and Octavia watched her with a warrior's eye. She was dangerous but important. Octavia felt Miller stiffen at her side. She really thought of Miller as an extension of herself. Her was her shadow, the Captain of the Guard, but he was her personal guard for most of his duty. He knew each look that Octavia gave. He knew how she thought. How could he not? They'd been locked up together in the Skybox. They'd been thrust upon the Earth together in the Dropship. Then, they survived together in the bunker. He knew how to read her like a book and he wasn't the only one. Indra could too. As the new woman moved, so did Indra until she made her way to Octavia's other side. Feeling Indra beside her, Octavia knew then, that the woman before her was trouble.

"Who are they?" Octavia asked Bellamy finally.

"We're here to rescue you," the woman told her.

Octavia tried to not look skeptical at her, considering there was a large hole in the bunker now and they could find a way out, but Bellamy stated quickly, "We have an understanding."

Octavia's posture completely changed. She realized who the woman was before her. She had to be Diyoza from the radio, the one that Bellamy made the deal with. The one she already decided had to die for fucking with Clarke and Madi. Her brain was already preparing ways to kill the woman before her. All she needed was the right angle... She looked down and realized that they were armed but that didn't deter Octavia. If anything, it made her more resolute in the fact that this Diyoza person needed to die.

"Before we get to that, where's my mom?" Clarke asked.

Octavia met her emotional blue eyes. She could see the bruising around her neck and Octavia's green eyes were asking questions. She knew that they would sit down and talk about it later, but her entire being was vibrating with want to punish something, mainly the bitch in front of them. Indra moved closer, sensing Octavia's distrust and want to beat the newcomers and then past her. Octavia nodded. The silent orders were understood very clearly. Indra was to protect Clarke and the general stepped forward again, closer to Clarke. "I'll take her," Indra said as Octavia nodded and cocked her head towards where Abby and Kane were in dismissal.

She watched Clarke go and with it her hope to explain things. She knew that Bellamy would just try to take over because he was her "big brother." Miller took another step closer and changed sides, putting Bellamy out of his way. She loved her brother, but she could tell in that moment that he was an idiot.

"So you're the sister?" the woman asked.

"Yes, sorry. Octavia, this is Colonel Diyoza," Bellamy explained.

"Colonel," Octavia replied, trying to not let the title sound like venom in her mouth.

"Use to be," Diyoza said dismissively. "Love the war paint by the way."

She could tell that Diyoza was sizing her up. She didn't back down. She didn't flinch. She waited to see what the "Colonel" would do.

"Okay, so how do we do this?" Bellamy asked, obviously trying to get things back on a friendlier note.

"Two at time," Diyoza stated before turning to address those of _Wonkru _assembled. "Why don't you people get your things and we'll get started as soon as we got things ready topside."

No one moved. Octavia had to hide her grin. These were her people. They only took orders from her. It didn't matter that Diyoza had come to rescue them and get them out of the bunker. She wasn't _Blodreina. _Diyoza met her eyes and she looked afraid. Octavia let her lips twitch, just a little, before addressing the masses.

"_Pack your things and prepare to go. You all know to do. Be ready. Go. We leave this place behind. From the ashes we rise," _Octavia told the people in Trig, mostly because she knew that the new people wouldn't understand it and she wasn't sure if Bellamy would completely.

The words in Trig were repeated back to her, "_Kom folau, oso na gyon op_."_ From the ashes, we rise. _This was their new motto, their belief system, and their truth.

"Exactly how many people should we be prepping for extraction?" the man asked.

"Twelve hundred," Bellamy stated quickly.

"Eight hundred fourteen," Octavia said a little sternly as she faced the Colonel again.

Bellamy looked aghast at the smaller number, but Octavia didn't waver.

"Copy that," Diyoza answered before touching her ear. Octavia realized that she had some sort of comm device there as she continued, "The number of people were saving today is eight hundred fourteen. How's it going up there?"

Octavia watched her. She saw the look in the Colonel's eyes as it changed. She didn't want to be there. She didn't want to rescue any of them and whatever Raven was doing was keeping them there for now. Octavia made a mental note to thank her Raven when she finally saw her. But, while she watching the Colonel, she saw her eyes harden again. She wanted something from the bunker. She wanted something from _Wonkru_ and Octavia wanted to know what it was.

Octavia was determined that she was going to go first, much to Miller's dismay. However before she allowed anyone to go up, she called her three main guards to her. As Miller, Pol, and Boran surrounded her, she came up with a plan. She knew that they has dug a hole through and into the pit, but that meant that the door was covered. They couldn't keep just coming out of the hole in the ceiling. They needed a way to get the door open.

"Pol, you and Boran, are to gather guards and warriors. Once on the surface, find where the bunker door should be and dig it out. I doubt that our new 'friends' are going to leave their ropes and such to help us get all the gear out. I want you to start digging as soon as you get to the surface, but don't make it obvious. Miller, once we're on the surface find Indra and start exploring what's left of Polis. We might have to settle in for a little while. I doubt that this Diyoza is going to willingly take us to Eden. Find structures that are sound and start clearing them. If we have to, we'll come back down, but I don't want to have use the bunker if we don't have to. Also, put some of your best guards and spies on Diyoza and her people. I want to know what they want. They didn't come here to help just to help. They have a reason. Find it," she instructed.

She was met with firm answers of "_Sha, Blodreina."_

Miller grabbed her arm as they moved back over to the hole. He leaned in and whispered into her ear. She could feel the tension in his body. She knew that he was scared not only for the people, but for her as well. He hadn't liked the way that Diyoza was eyeing her either.

"_Keep a guard at your side," _he demanded.

"_Who do you recommend for me?"_ she asked.

"_Myself, but I have my orders. Keep Timo and Wayne near you. I'll let them know," _Miller replied.

She nodded.

"_I'll have them come up after myself and I'll stay with you until they are both up,"_ Miller added.

She nodded again and they moved. Bellamy was watching them. He didn't know what was going on with his sister and Miller, but he could tell that Miller wasn't going to willingly leave her side. He didn't know what happened in that bunker and he was starting to realize that his sister had absolute control of the people. He didn't like it, but he knew that he couldn't do anything about it at the moment. He needed to worry about getting them out first. And, that started with her.

He lead her over to the ropes and helped her get situated. She looked up and then back at him. The look in her eyes didn't change as she nodded that she was ready to go. The man that had come down with Diyoza reached over her and tugged on the rope. Slowly, she started skyward, towards the sun, towards the ground, towards life.

She saw Gaia on the landings as she rose. The _Flaimkepa_ nodded to her, acknowledging that Octavia had done as promised. She was delivering them back to the ground.

"_Kom folau, oso na gyon op," _Gaia shouted from her spot.

Octavia looked back at her and smiled. The people stopped moving as they watched their beloved _Blodreina_ make her way back up and out of the bunker. Elated they answered each of Gaia's calls with their own, "_Kom folau, oso na gyon op." _ Bellamy could do nothing but watch, with an uneasiness in his heart.

Their cries filled her ears as she broke through into the sunlight. She held onto the rope, not sure if she should trust their wench. When she was high enough, another man in a jumpsuit, but no armor, reached over for her. Tentatively she extended her hand and he pulled her to the edge and onto the ruble. He unhooked from the harness and the ropes.

It was then that she turned to see the remains of the tower. She sighed, closed her eyes, and then took in what was left of Polis. Clarke hadn't lied. It was in ruin. Buildings were toppled. Sand covered most of the landscape. It wasn't habitable. The sun was bright, but bearable and beautiful. She spun as she took everything in and then she saw the ship and the words upon it that must have scared Clarke when she saw it coming towards Eden. "Prisoner Transport."

She would let it go for now, but she couldn't help but think that Bellamy had been foolish. She took a few steps, just enough to get out of the way for more to come up. True to his word, Miller was the next of _Wonkru _to come. Bellamy and Clarke came out after Octavia to make sure that things ran smoothly on the surface. Bellamy hugged her guard as he broke free of the hole. She knew that her brother felt his weapons even though they were hidden.

He moved to Octavia's side and said quietly, "The deal was no weapons."

"Not my deal," she answered as she looked at all the people moving around Polis and all of them weren't hers.

Clarke could tell that she was sizing them up. She could feel Clarke watching her and she could imagine was she was thinking. It didn't deter her thinking that they were going to be betrayed and in a big way. She'd lost so many already. She refused to lose anymore without a fight.

"I need to talk to you in private. Give me some time and then follow me," Bellamy told her.

She turned and looked at him. The look in his eyes told her that he expected her to follow his orders. She cocked her eyebrow at him, but gave him no answer. He left without one and headed into the heart of Polis. She watched him with a strange fascination.

"_He thinks he's back in charge," _she mused and felt Clarke at her side.

She didn't move. Clarke stood there with her and looked out into Polis. They both watched Bellamy walk off.

"He's doing what he thinks is best," Clarke told her.

"And, you?" Octavia asked her, looking deep into her eyes.

"I am just trying to save my Mom."

"Fair enough. I get it though. He's trying to save me, but he doesn't see that I don't need saving anymore. Those are my people, Clarke. And, I'll do whatever I have to do in order to make sure that they survive," Octavia said.

"Even go against your brother?"

"Even that," Octavia answered as she dropped down through the ruble to follow him.

She found him. She knew he wanted to talk, but this wasn't the time. Now, they needed to figure out what Diyoza was really after.

"I don't trust them, Bell," she told him.

"I don't either, but I need you trust me."

"I am not the same person. Six years...six years is a long time. Things change. I've changed," Octavia stated.

"I know. But, fighting pits? Someone read Ovid a little too much," Bellamy started.

"Not now."

"Fine, but we need to talk."

"I agree. But, first I have to see to my people. And, I need to figure out what they want."

"It doesn't matter, we've got leverage."

"What kind of leverage?" she asked him.

"Two hundred and eighty-three men, sleeping on a ship that Raven has control over. One word from me and they all die. Diyoza doesn't want that and honestly, neither do I. She dug you out and I'll eventually release her men. For now, that is all we need to know," Bellamy told her.

"No, that is all _you_ need to know," Octavia replied as she spun around, red cape flowing, and left him in the shell of a building.

Night fell. People were still coming. The guards and warriors were digging things out. But, Octavia was still watching Diyoza and the man she came down with. Timo told her that Clarke, her mother and Kane had all scurried off to talk. She was sure that Clarke was just trying to find out what happened in the bunker. She knew that her mother and Kane would give her a somewhat less bias story. She smiled, but she still kept watch.

And, then it happened. Diyoza turned on them. She demanded the doctor. Kane stepped forward and said he'd go with her. Octavia knew that it was because he loved Abby and it was because Octavia was losing patience with him. He knew it was safer with Abby than without her. Guns were pointed all around and Abby stepped forward.

"The two us. We go with you. Those are my terms," Abby told Diyoza.

"I see where your daughter gets it from," Diyoza replied and then nodded. "Take them both."

"Mom, what are you doing?" Clarke asked.

"I love you, Clarke. Stay with Octavia. She'll explain. May we meet again," Abby said as she was whisked away.

Then Diyoza claimed the valley. Octavia looked at her smugly. Her guards had been moving the entire time, surrounding them. One nod and Diyoza would be dead.

"What about Raven and Murphy?" Bellamy asked her, realizing that they'd lost their leverage.

"For now, they're insurance. Stay here and no one gets hurt. Try to come to our valley and well..."

They retreated towards their ship. Not a single guard or warrior moved. Clarke stood there dumbfounded and Bellamy looked like someone had hit him in the gut.

But, then Octavia saw it. One of the prisoners flinched. He seemed overly cocky with his weapon. One look from Octavia and he turned on them and fired. Miller was too far away, but Wayne wasn't. He jumped in front of Octavia pushing her down and away as he was vaporized by the weapon. Blood flew everywhere as Octavia hit the ground. Her body hurt and she heard shouts all around her. Guns firing, and then she felt herself being dragged across the ground. She saw the moon for a brief few seconds before everything went dark, completely dark.


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10**

**Roughly sixty days after _Praimfaya_**

Octavia had been staying in her office less because she'd heard Clarke's voice again. She would spend the mornings there and then head out, making sure to drop in on the "school" before lunch and then join Ethan for lunch. They would discuss his training and what he wanted to do as a bunker profession as he got older. It changed everyday and she was glad for it. She was also glad that Kane had taken to taking the boy around the bunker to the different areas to let him see how things worked. He didn't understand that it was part of his training as Octavia's fosterling, and as a potential bunker leader, but he took everything seriously. She thought about sending him to Indra just before dinner every night, but she knew that Abby would hate the idea. He was still a young kid and she would want him to wait. But, Octavia knew that the world was rough on the ground and _Trikru_ children started learning to fight as young as he was. She'd talk to Gaia, Indra and Abby about it later. It wasn't imperative enough to be dealt with right at the moment.

She had to find ways to hide her happiness. Clarke found somewhere for them to live and it was lush and green. It made Octavia very hopeful. The listened to the short transmission over and over again at night as she dreamed about what it looked like. But, then her heart would feel heavy. She hated the fact that Clarke had to deal with an entire village of the dead on her own. She was proud of her that she gave them a large Grounder burial. It had taken her almost two days to do it, but she accomplished it. Octavia could hear the sadness in her voice when she talked about the children.

Octavia spent the next day in the school with all the little _goufas._ She felt like she owed it to Clarke and to those who died. There weren't many children in the bunker. Some of the clans sent none, but _Skaikru _left the most with twelve of their remaining ninety-eight spots. She wasn't surprised to see who some of the selections had been. She knew that Kane used mostly Clarke's list and she'd been pragmatic in her selections. Able-bodied, young adults who were of child bearing age had been given preference, and then the able-bodied adults with skill sets that would be necessary to run the bunker and help them survive once they were back above ground were next. It was a decent mix, but she knew that Clarke had been thinking more long term than immediate.

Some of the other clans hadn't thought that far ahead. They sent mostly warriors, thinking that they would bully their way into leadership, but Octavia had nipped that in bud quickly with the introductions of the fighting pits. Everyone fell in line quickly and then with the advent of her new council, the people started relaxing into their new roles in _Wonkru, _the one clan. She was working with what she had and Kane helped explain things to them in ways that they could understand and get behind when she got to frustrated with them all. Which happened all to often, but Octavia was trying. She just didn't understand why everyone didn't immediately didn't understand that she was doing things to not only keep them alive but help them learn to survive as one cohesive unit once they were back on the surface.

Life was simple for them. They woke. They ate. They worked. They ate. They trained. They ate. They got their sunlight hours at the farm. They survived. They had a bed. Sure, they couldn't just leave. They had to spend time on the farm for their daily sunlight quota, but they were surviving. They just had to make it until Bellamy could come back from space and help Clarke dig them out. And, now, they had somewhere to go when they got out. Things weren't great, but they were good. Their lives were just simply regimented for now, but that would keep them all alive. And, life was the most precious thing for them all now. Simplicity made their days easy. Living would be hard later, so simple and easy now couldn't break them. The Earth would do that later. She needed as many of them to make it as possible and this life, this simple life would help them do that.

"So, it's official. I've met the child from Hell," the radio called out from the other side of the room.

Octavia cocked her eyebrow as she moved across the office that morning. It had been a few days since Clarke just dropped her transmission. The more she thought about it, she realized that it had been two days and she hadn't flipped out this time. And, now she had a reason that Clarke hadn't been on the radio every morning as she promised Bellamy that she would be.

"The demon child showed up during my last transmission. Can you imagine my surprise when I saw another living person here with me? She is definitely a _Natblida _and the last of her kind, according to Gaia's rules. She's seems to be six years old or so, but she is so smart and very cautious.

"I tried to talk to her. Stupid me, I tried English first. I should have known better. This village obviously wasn't full of warriors, so I doubt that there was no way of her to know what I was saying. She only speaks Trig and it is fast that I can barely keep up. However, I did catch a few choice words of her cussing me out and calling me a '_Flaimkepa.' _I don't know why she is so afraid of them, but she led me straight into a bear trap to keep me away from her. Almost snapped my leg in two, but when she came to kill me for trying to take her, she realized that I had black blood as well."

Octavia could help but laugh at this child's antics. Leave it to Clarke to find the last _Natblida _on Earth and almost be killed by her because they were both alone in that valley. She wanted to meet this child now. She wanted to look into her eyes and promise her things, but she would have to wait. So, she decided to listen more to Clarke's stories from Eden's valley.

"I managed to get back to the village and stitch myself up before I passed out on the table I was using to work on. I woke up the next day and my stuff was gone. The little demon snuck in while I was out and stole my pack and all my stuff. She left the paper and charcoals, though. I guess she couldn't find a use for them. I guess that is a good thing. I've been drawing everyone so I have them with me. Little portraits hang around the building I've been living in. Each day, I pick someone new to draw...So I don't forget...

"There is a little pool of fresh water that is spring feed on one end and a small creek on the other. I've been gathering clean water from the small water fall that the spring created and watching this Hellion fish in the pool itself. I don't know where she is drinking from, but I've been using the cool water to soak my leg in for the past few days. It feels good. I've swam in it as well. You'll have to tell Octavia that there aren't any giant river snakes to bite her here, only small and very delicious looking fish. She'd love it.

"It's just so peaceful here, Bell. Maybe it's because there are no people. Maybe it is just this place. It's just...

"I hope to convince this child that we can live together. It is obvious that she knows how to live off this land on her own. She's been doing it since _Praimfaya._ That bothers me, too. She watched everyone she knew die and there was nothing that she could do about it. I hope I can talk to her and explain what happened without scarring or scaring her. I am not sure that she doesn't blame herself for it, all their deaths. I know I would if I was in her place."

The radio went silent for a few moments and Octavia wondered if Clarke was done for the day. She knew that Clarke had a tendency to shut down a little when her thoughts ran dark. She couldn't find it in herself to be upset with her about it. Octavia was starting to understand what Clarke put herself through to keep them safe and help them survive on planet that wanted them dead and a world they never understood.

"I've been trying to convince her to give my stuff back or at least share with me, but my Trig isn't that great. Lexa taught me some, but she always made sure that I knew what at everyone was saying by using _Gonasleng. _ I'm glad that both Lincoln and Octavia taught me some basics. Lexa was more worried about saving me than she was teaching me though. I picked up a little, but it obviously wasn't enough," Clarke continued.

Octavia smiled. She remembered Lincoln sitting by the fire talking with Clarke before she went to Polis. He'd been so patient with both of them.

"I'll admit I should have paid more attention to Lexa and Lincoln. I also wish that Octavia was here. At least she could talk to the girl. She'd yell at me for being foolish enough to walk into the bear trap to begin with, but I already know that.

"Honestly, I wish you were all here. I miss Raven's sarcastic comments. I miss Monty's smile and Harper's optimism. I even miss Murphy's pessimism and Emori's laughter, usually at John. Hell, I could use Echo right now, too. I miss you guys so much, but I'm glad you made it.

"Just four more years and ten months until you come back. You better have some good stories to tell me. Be safe, Bell. May we meet again," Clarke said and Octavia knew she was done this time.

Octavia moved the recording to a new disc. She hadn't really thought it about it all. She hadn't really had the time to catalog them yet. She decided that she would work on that in the coming months. She wanted to have something to give Clarke or possibly Abby when they finally got out of the bunker. She didn't know how Clarke would react to her having recordings of all her transmissions, but she didn't care. It also gave her something to listen to when her mind started to tell her that they were going to die in that bunker. Clarke's voice was like a ray of hope and sunshine that would lift her up and give her the energy to keep going.

"Two months down," Octavia mused.

She got up out of the office and decided to head down to the farm. She would put in her time early that week. She knew that Abby and Jackson were both checking the logs to make sure that everyone was getting their time with the lamps. After her "breakdown," Kane had issued an order for it thru Indra. The council had been against it until they noticed that the older members of their clans were suffering the worst. Cooper, Abby, and Jackson had come up with a rotation for all the workers to make sure that they each got several hours a few days a week.

She felt Miller following her as she made her way down to level F and the farm. She walked in and looked around. Kara Cooper, head of the farm and former coup leader, came running out of her office. Octavia just nodded at her as she walked around. Finally she came to a stop in front of the Biolab. She could see that Kara was obviously working on something inside the lab. It was in that moment that she wished that Monty and Harper were there for her. Monty would be working the lab at her insistence and Harper would have been a guard permanently stationed to the farm and on Monty's schedule. Octavia would have made sure of it with Miller. She looked through the window, but she couldn't come up with anything.

"What are you doing in there?" Octavia asked her.

"Trying to generate some long lasting proteins," Kara told her.

"Like?"

"Beans and nuts," Kara replied.

"Good. Good. How are the pods and all running?" Octavia asked her.

"We are running at eighty-five percent capacity."

"Why not a hundred?"

"We want to keep some of the pods fallow to rotate the crops and keep the soils and fertilized waters from being overused. I don't want any issues down the road, so I am planning for them now. If we have a complete protein crop failure, we could die. Abby has been working with us on crop diversity and trying to make hybrids in order to help maintain food stores and still produce some of the vegetation that the Grounders used for medicine," Kara explained.

"We're all Grounders now, Cooper."

"Yes, _Blodreina," _Kara replied.

"Is there anything else that you could do?"

"We thought about trying to generate some sort of fish or something and designating a tank for them, but I am not sure that we have enough to do it. It isn't like we brought any fish in here with us, but the added protein from an animal that we could possibly sustain, even in low numbers just to take the edge of the farm would be very beneficial. There are some strange DNA stains in the lab that I've been working with Jackson on during his time in the farm. He thinks some of them are animal, but he isn't sure what species. I don't want to start artificially growing something and it be a virus or something."

"Agreed. But, I like the idea. Keep up the work with Abby and Jackson, and keep it between only those who need to know. If we can make a fish pond, do and it be sustainable, do it. But, I worry that we will eat them all too quickly and also that we will have to feed them to get them to size for harvest. The farm is your domain, Kara, and you are doing great things for your people. Keep it up," Octavia told her.

She knew that the praise was not often heard enough, but she thought that Kara, Abby, and Jackson were onto something. They wanted to get in front of a possible famine before it happened. Octavia wanted them all to survive, so for _Blodreina, _they all wanted the same thing. She liked their ideas, especially the one about fish, but she was smart enough to know that it was a long shot and they had a very slim chance of having anything viable in the DNA stores to make anything with even if they could. But, then she thought back to Clarke and her moths. Bugs however, were small, plentiful, and never failed to survive. She was sure that they could find something in the bunker to play with. And, as much as the thought turned her stomach a little, bugs were protein.

"Kara?"

"Yes, _Blodreina?" _she asked in answer.

"Have you thought about bugs?"

"Bugs?"

"As a source of protein. They wouldn't need much to each and they reproduce quickly. They could be bred in the biolab and then almost immediately harvested."

"They could, yes."

"Look into that as well. I am sure that Murphy wasn't the only cockroach that survived. I would like biweekly reports on your progress. I want these reports to come to me personally and then we will decide what to tell the council together."

"Yes, _Blodreina,_" Cooper replied.

"I'm expecting great things from you, Cooper. Don't let us down. You've proven your loyalty and you'll be aptly rewarded. Keep up the good work."

Octavia continued her rounds and finally ended at the school. She looked at all the little _goufas_, her novitiates, the next generation. They were still so young, but they were soaking up _Trigedasleng _and _Gonasleng. _She realized that Gaia was using both to teach. She leaned against the door way and watched.

Her eyes came to rest on Ethan. He wasn't her child, but he was her responsibility. She'd promised Jaha to care for him. Jaha had promised his father and fellow engineer, Geoff Hardy, to care for him. Both of whom were now dead. She knew why Ethan clung to her. It was the same reason she clung to Bellamy. They were family. Ethan had no one but her, but she was about to change that.

"Miller, where is Indra?"

"In the training rooms with the third battalion," Miller replied.

"What clans make up that battalion?"

"_Boudalan, Sankru, Podakru_, and the guard company of the same clans, _Blodreina."_

"And, their commander is?"

"You, _Blodreina,_" Miller replied.

"No, who is in charge of the battalion? Who is the captain? Who reports to Indra?"

"Indra has placed a former guard of Lexa's as their commander. He is from _Podakru_ and his name is Erie. He is a good soldier. His daughter is as well."

"She is?"

"Yes, her name is London. She is a member of the guard, but she works only on their levels. Erie has been training her and working with Indra to get her moved to the army. He wants to make her one of his lieutenants," Miller stated.

"Bring her up and put her on the farm detail. If she's as good as Erie thinks, she might get a promotion. I might have a personal job for her," Octavia mused as she turned back to watch Ethan.

"_Sha, Blodreina."_

_"Tell her it is a promotion and make her a lieutenant. I know that you only allow the captains to be my personal guards, Mila. You watch out better for me than you do for Jakson. If she does well and by your standard, Mila, bring her to me in a few months time. Then, I will make my decision."_

_"Sha, Blodreina,_" he replied.

"Tell Gaia that I want the children to start sparring, but only those over eight," Octavia told another guard stationed at the door.

She walked back up to her office. She looked down in the pit. They hadn't had to use it again. She knew they would, but for now, her threat had worked. She just wondered how long it would take before tensions would rise beyond their threshold and she'd have to let settle the people again. She shivered as she walked by. It was involuntary and she tried to shake it off. She'd been angry when she ordered it. Her body and mind still full of bloodlust from getting the farm back. She wanted to punish the people personally for doing it, but she knew that she had to make an example of them. She had to regain control. Even now, almost three weeks later, she felt guilty for it, but she knew that she couldn't go back on her word. It was the only way to maintain order. Severeness was the only thing that the Grounders understood because everything in their world was life or death, black or white, but as much as Octavia tried to be a Grounder, she was still a _Skai_ girl at heart. She might have been the "Girl beneath the floor," but now, she was their _Blodreina, _the Red Queen, and she would be their salvation.

_"__Kom folau, oso na gyon op._" _From the ashes, we **will**__rise._


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11**

Octavia woke up in her bed. She was riddled with pain, but she couldn't feel any wounds. She was sore and achy. Her mind was racing.

_What the Hell type of weapon was that? _she thought as she tried to assertain any damage done to her body.

"Stay still," Clarke's voice tore through to her senses and she stopped moving. "You're damn lucky that guard took the hit."

Octavia couldn't say anything. It was like her mind hadn't caught back up with her body. Her chest felt like it was on fire, but when she looked down there were no bandages. She had some bruising, but that seemed to be about it. Clarke pushed her back down on the bed. Her blue eyes looked worried and tired. She knew that the blonde wasn't worried about her. She was worried about her mother, and so was Octavia.

"How long?" Octavia managed to eek out finally and closed her eyes as pain filled her chest again.

"Were you out?" Clarke asked as she just nodded. "About twelve hours. Indra and Miller are dealing with everything topside. There is some guard I think named London waiting to speak with you."

"Send her in," Octavia said quietly.

"You need to rest."

"I need to lead my people," she countered.

"And, what good are you going to be to them if you are dead? Hmm? Lie down. I'll get her," Clarke told her with a huff.

Octavia didn't know why she was so angry. She had an idea it was about the bunker, but it seemed like more than that. Clarke was down right pissed.

"Hurry up and tell her what you need to say and get out," Clarke demanded as she came back with London in tow.

The guard, dressed like all the others in black with thick boots, cloak with hood and face coverings, bowed to Octavia before dropping to her knee on the right side of the bed. Octavia noticed her hazel eyes watching Clarke carefully and she couldn't help but smile. London had no idea who Clarke really was or what she was capable of. If Clarke had wanted Octavia dead, she already would be.

"_What is it, London?"_

_"I've come to report that we've cleared out the main hatch and the stores that can come to the surface are making their way out. Miller and Indra are going over the maps and planning a counter strike. Kara is with them. So is Nontu. They await your orders, Blodreina."_

_"Good, London."_

_"Timo has been released by Jaksun and has returned to his duties. He is currently on the door. Pol and Boran are securing the city and helping the non-warriors find a place to stay and begin building again."_

_"The land is trash. We have to take the valley. Are the battalions ready?"_

_"Sha, Blodreina."_

_"Good, let them continue to prepare. I need to get better maps," _Octavia told her._ "And, my nomfa? How is he?"_

Octavia winced as Clarke kept checking her over, again for the fifth time even though she didn't know that. She saw the whip of Clarke's hair at the mention of a child, her son. She didn't know why Clarke was so surprised. She had Madi. But, Madi was a fosterling, too. Neither of them had any real romantic ties to anyone since Lexa or Lincoln. Octavia had tried with Illian, but that failed miserably and Clarke had tried with Niylah, only to be stuck on the surface while she was in the bunker.

_"Training. He wants to go with Indra into battle."_

_"No. He stays with you and you remain here, captain."_

_"Sha, Blodreina."_

_"Tell him, I will speak with him as soon as Wanheda lets me out of this bed," Octavia replied._

London stood, gave Clarke a wary look and then saluted Octavia before leaving. Octavia couldn't help but smile. London had more than proven herself when it came to keeping Ethan safe. She'd earned her captaincy in the guard and had smiled when she learned that she wasn't only getting promoted after guarding the farm for over a year, that she was getting her own charge. She knew that meant big things in _Blodreina's _eyes. Not everyone got a personal guard. Abby did, as did Niylah, but only because she wanted them protected for Clarke's sake. She would be damned if she couldn't give Clarke back both women. And, she had, only Abby went off with Diyoza.

"Calm down. You'll do yourself no good to be that angry. It won't help anything," Clarke warned her.

"I need to get up."

"To talk to you son?" Clarke asked.

"You've learned Trig?"

"I know enough to know that something happened in the bunker and no one wants to talk about it. My own mother was scared to talk to me, Octavia. She looked...ashamed. I don't know what happened and part of me doesn't want to care, but I do. Because if I don't find out, I can't help her. I can't lose her, again, Octavia. I can't," Clarke started to whimper.

"You won't."

"How do you know that?"

"Because I am going to bring her home to you," Octavia stated matter-of-factly.

It was more a promise, a swearing of an oath than a simple statement. Clarke studied her eyes and could see the conviction there. She knew that Octavia would scour the Earth to bring Abby back, but first she needed Clarke to allow her out of the bed.

"Why did you call me 'my _Wanheda,'_ Octavia? What is it that you aren't telling me? Is there something that I should know? Was Mom a prisoner or something?"

"No, no, no, nothing like that. I wouldn't allow her to be. I had a guard on her that protected her from the other guards. I wouldn't let her get into any trouble."

"Why not?"

"I needed my doctor, Clarke. I needed her to be sane and rational and able to work. Things didn't always work out that way, but she was covered to the point that Jackson only found out about her problem because he caught her. And, doing his duty, brought it to my attention. I dismissed it and tried to help her. She didn't believe that she deserved help. So, I enlisted Kane to do whatever needed to be done to protect her. I have to say that he stepped up and did it. He reported her crimes to me and we found ways to explain them or cover them up to the council. Niylah eventually figured out what we were doing and she started helping with the medical inventories."

"What the Hell does that mean?"

"Nope, you answer my question and then I'll answer yours. Deal? You're the one that wanted to talk. And, this way you can keep assessing me until I deem myself able to leave the bed. Does that work for you, Doctor Clarke?"

"Fine. What's your question? And, it better not be something about me being alone for six years," Clarke warned her.

"Tell me about the bruises on your neck," Octavia demanded and watched as Clarke reached up to her neck.

The blonde closed her eyes as she absentmindedly rubbed the abused flesh. When she opened them, her blue eyes were dark and angry. She was trying to reign herself in and was failing spectacularly. And, this what Octavia wanted, needed. She needed Clarke pissed and angry. She needed her ready to go to war. She needed _Wanheda _if they were going to go rescue Abby, and Madi (who Clarke didn't know she knew about, still), and seize the valley for themselves as originally planned. She needed the warrior inside, the woman that would do anything to protect her people. The woman who pulled the lever and irradiated over three hundred and fifty to save forty. The odds were in their favor, but she knew that Diyoza having Kane, Abby, Raven, and Murphy was a problem. Plus the fact that they didn't know if Madi, Harper, Monty, Echo, and Emori were still safe. Their friends were in the valley. Octavia needed to be able to talk to them. She looked passed Clarke at the radio and wondered now that the bunker was open. Her eyes met Clarke's again, before they closed. This time when she opened them, they weren't quiet at hard.

"They have shock collars. I was put in one and shocked several times. It was punishment for me killing some of her people and then what she was a lie."

"A lie?"

"Nope, your turn," Clarke countered. "Why did you have to protect my mom besides that she was the doctor?"

"She developed a problem. We resolved it. She felt like she failed you and didn't deserve to live. I had to convince her otherwise," Octavia told her.

"You aren't going to explain further?"

"It isn't my place. If you want to know more, you'll have to ask your mother, Clarke. I won't betray her confidence because she hasn't betrayed mine. My turn."

"Go ahead," Clarke said as she got comfortable in a chair and stared at her.

"Are you going to try to stop me if I go after your mother?"

"No...no, I won't," Clarke replied. "In fact you are going to need me if you go. But, I have a question for you. Who is your son?"

Octavia knew that Clarke had caught her phrase. She was amazed that it had taken Clarke that long to ask about it. She thought that Clarke would have asked about him as soon as London left. She smiled as she looked up that blonde. She wanted to laugh, but her torso still hurt. She rolled a little bit and aimed for the edge of the bed. Clarke moved to steady her. Octavia knew that Clarke wouldn't wait long. She wanted answers. She wanted to understand what had happened. She needed it, so she could help her mother. She didn't want her mother or Octavia to deal with things as she did, alone.

"Ethan Hardy is Geoff Hardy's son. Geoff didn't make your list or Kane and Jaha's culling for the bunker. Ethan did because he was a child. All the children for _Skaikru _did and they were all given to family members or close family friends to care for them. Jaha promised Geoff that Ethan would have a spot and Geoff made him swear that he would care for Ethan as if he was his own. Jaha agreed. Ethan called him 'Uncle Theo.' Kane even doted on him a little bit as well. Your mother made sure to check on all of the kids from Arkadia. It was one of the ways she dealt with not having you in here with us."

"That doesn't explain why he is your son," Clarke stated, looking deep into her eyes and Octavia knew she was looking for a lie or deception.

"Jaha was caring for him when Cooper tried her coup. Jaha had studied the bunker's blueprints and schematics. He knew how to get into the farm. What I didn't know at the time was that he was already dying when we went to overload the electrical panel and force the doors open," Octavia told her.

"He was injured."

"He was protecting Ethan and Niylah in _Skaikru's_ quarters. One of men who wanted to kill all of _Skaikru _because of the coup stabbed him in the side. He told us it was just a scratch. I believed him. He knew though. He knew it was life threatening. But, he opened the door anyway," Octavia said and then closed her eyes, holding back tears. "I might not have liked him, but Jaha had been right. We needed to do better. We had to make Death our enemy and I had to figure out how to get them all to become one clan or we would just fight ourselves to extinction."

"But, he opened the door?" Clarke asked to push her past the tears.

"He did," Octavia answered, becoming stoic again. "I rushed back up to the farm. I had to fight to get to the door. I killed everyone that stood up against me and _Wonkru. _We couldn't be clans, we had to be one. I got the door open. I rescued your mother and arrested Kara and her co-conspirators. We ran back down to Jaha. I could deal with the prisoners later. I had to save Jaha. We got to him, but it was way too later. Your mother couldn't save him. He begged Kane to take him home so he could be with his wife and Wells. And, I was just standing there, covered in blood, and trying not to cry. He looked up at me and told me that Ethan was now my charge. Instead of asking Kane or your mother, he asked me. I told him that I would take him. Kane and your mom did the most with him in the beginning. Because of him, I had Gaia start a school to teach our combined histories, with Kane of course, but Ethan kept me on my toes. He is training to be a guard. That is what he's decided he is going to do for _Wonkru._ He's barely twelve. I might seem heartless and ruthless, but I am not going to let him go with us to the valley to get your mom."

"Good."

"He's not ready. I won't take anyone under the age of sixteen. But, I want you to know that I am not just going to get your mother, Clarke."

"Then what are you going for?" Clarke asked her.

"It isn't what, but who."

"I don't understand."

"I know about Madi," Octavia told her.

Clarke looked at her like she had three heads. She could see the blonde trying to figure out when she found out about her daughter, her fosterling, the last natural born _natblida. _She moved again and Clarke helped her sit up.

"Help me into the office," Octavia demanded.

Clarke reached out and helped her off the bed. She stood up, shakily, but she was standing. Clarke took her arm and helped her move away from the bed. She wrapped her right around her her torso, while Clarke held her up and walked with her. They moved slowly, but when they got to the office, Octavia pointed to the desk with the radio. Clarke helped her sit in the chair there. Octavia dug around until she found the disc she was looking for. She opened the recorder and put it in. She turned to look up at Clarke, her own green eyes full of emotion, as her finger rested on the play button.

"Don't be angry," Octavia started.

"Why would I be angry?" Clarke questioned as Octavia hit play and then fell back in the chair.

"Just don't be angry," Octavia stated again, and then Clarke heard her own voice.

"Hey, Bell. It's day three hundred. I've been officially on the ground for a full year now, if you count before. I know what a winter is finally. It's cold, if you're wondering. So, cold, sometimes that it seeps into your bones. Madi said that the weather is wrong. Winter came too early. I've tried to explain to her that _Praimfaya _has screwed everything up but she doesn't quiet get it. I guess I understand though. Her entire life has been this village and valley. She's so smart. She showed me some ways to get sweeter berries in the fields where they grow. We've been out there everyday packing snow at the base of the vines. She collects it all morning and gets me before lunch. Thankfully, I smoked enough meat a few weeks ago, or we'd have no protein right now. The animals are all tucked in the winter. She says it's normal and I have to take her word for it. But, we can still get some fish as long as the spring doesn't freeze over..."

Octavia reached over and stopped the playback. Clarke fell into another chair and stared at Octavia. She could see the look in Clarke's eyes.

"Why?"

"I know they were private thoughts, a way for you to talk to Bell, but they helped me stay sane down here, Clarke. Every time I felt myself starting to go to a dark place, I would pull out the recordings I'd made and listen to them over and over again. So, you see, I have more than one reason to take that valley."

"But, why?" Clarke asked her as tears rolled down her cheeks.

"I know that she is still out there and she is waiting for you to come get her. I am sure that the others have found her by now and I know that she is keeping them safe and hidden, but they are going to comb that entire valley. If they find her, they are going to use her again you. Diyoza has no intention and had no intention of letting us in the valley. She plans to conquer it and leave us here. We're the Grounders. We're of the Earth and for the Earth, Clarke. I will not let the valley go without a fight. If I have to die to secure for you, Madi and Ethan, then I will. I feel that it is my destiny, but I don't think that I can do it alone, Clarke. I need you to help me."

"How?"

"Work with Indra on the maps. Tell Kara what will make good and quick rations that we can pack. Help us figure out the best way to get there and how long it is going to take. Clarke, you have all the knowledge I need. I'll let you go with us because I know that you won't stay back, but I need to know one thing," Octavia told her.

"What?"

"Are you going to go as Clarke, loving daughter, or _Klark, Skaiprisa en Wanheda? _Because I only need one of you, and I'd prefer the fighter than the daughter."

"Oh, trust me. Diyoza picked the wrong blonde to piss off. She has my daughter on the run and my mother doing God knows what for her people. She's signed her own death warrant and she knows it. Damn, I wish I could talk to Raven. She could tell me what I want to know."

"What do you want to know?"

"I want to know where she's setting up. What kinds of equipment they have besides the guns I know about? I want to know what that thing they used against you was. I wish we had an inside man," Clarke stated.

"Bellamy can't go. She knows him. And, we can't infiltrate her forces, she knows who all her criminals are. We need a grounder spy that can use a radio," Octavia mused.

"Echo!"

"I banished her," Octavia said.

"So lift it, like Lexa did, if she gets us the information."

"Bell will want to go with her," Octavia countered.

"Then we leave him here," Clarke offered.

"We both know that if you and I both march on the valley that he is going to mount up and go with us. There is no way to leave him behind. He'll demand to come."

"Then, you order him to stay behind," Clarke told her.

"Like he'll listen to me," Octavia said, rolling her eyes. "He thinks he is back in charge because he's here. Just because he's my older brother doesn't mean anything anymore. He is either a member of _Wonkru_ or he is the enemy of _Wonkru. _I can't have it any other way."

"He won't have a choice if _Blodreina _demands it," Clarke replied.

"I'll have Indra distract him," Octavia said.

"Or, have him serve her. She is still your head general, right? He'll take orders from her, right?"

"I would hope so. He isn't that dense. But, he doesn't understand it all. He tries, but he doesn't."

"Octavia?"

"Yeah?"

"How many recordings of my transmissions do you have?" Clarke asked her.

"All of them," Octavia answered as she pulled out a collections of discs and showed them to her.

"All of them?"

"All of them. Even the days you just played music. Those were interesting choices, but it let me know how you were feeling. Some days it killed me that I couldn't answer you to let you know that you weren't alone."

"I'm sorry that you had to hear about..."

"I almost lost it after you tried to go to the solar fields. It was like being told that we would all die once we got to the surface. I raged in this office, destroyed most of it. Your mother had me locked in my room until she felt that I wasn't going to go on a killing spree or kill myself. It took a few days it seems. But the day after I woke and allowed to be on my own, I had come to the conclusion that you were lost," Octavia said. "I decided that I had to do something. I couldn't just sit back and let things run. I needed to actually step up and be the leader. I couldn't let Kane and Indra keep doing it for me. Honestly, the only thing up to that point that I had done was invoke the fighting pit to deal with crimes committed and I made all crimes capital offences. I had to do something to be worthy of the great _Wanheda."_

"Why?"

"Because you had already done so much to save us, to try to save the coalition, and to save the human race. I didn't feel like that I deserved to be the leader just because I won the conclave. I wasn't the _heda_ and the people didn't really want to follow me either. I had to find ways to make them listen, to make them believe, but I only had one person that believed in me," Octavia explained.

"Indra?"

"Yes, but what she didn't know was that your musings helping me stay sane. I learned so much just by listening to you. I realized how much shit you went through and got. I'm not saying that I forgive you for all of it, because we both know that I don't. But, I can say that I understand it. I get it. Sometimes you have to do bad things in order to make good things happen. And one of the things that I did wasn't just personally selfish, even though it was, it was for the betterment of _Wonkru,"_ Octavia told her.

"What was it?" Clarke questioned.

"I didn't tell anyone about the radio transmissions."

"Why not?"

"Because I was afraid," Octavia admitted and Clarke saw the fear and the worry in her green eyes.

"Of what? What would telling everyone do? Why would you keep that to yourself?" Clarke asked her and Octavia could tell that she honestly wanted to know.

"I was afraid of what they would do if they knew that _Wanheda_, the Commander of Death was alive on the surface. Radiation levels were still too high for us, but not for you. I knew that they would try to open the hatch and find you. But, then we realized that we couldn't get out on our own. And, then that would lead to hope and hope can be just as dangerous as resignation. Letting them believe that Bellamy was coming to get us out had to be enough. If they knew that you were on the surface, they would demand that we find a way to communicate. By then, Abby and Kane had tried everything to talk to you. Abby just knew that it was you banging on the bunker, but we couldn't get to you. She couldn't talk to you and it was breaking her. I could see it. I couldn't add to that. I couldn't break her more and let her know that you were indeed on the surface and you were talking to Bellamy, who wasn't answering. It would have killed her. Being in here almost did that anyway. I needed my doctor. I needed Abby to live. Sure, I had Jackson, but he isn't Abby, Clarke. And, knowing that you were up there, that you tried to get to us, that you were just waiting for Bellamy to come back down from the Go-Sci ring to come and tree and free us, I knew what that would do to her, so I didn't tell her. I couldn't. I needed her to believe that you were in space and would be back to get us out. She blamed herself for you not being in here with us. Clarke, I couldn't...

"I remember you saying once in passing that you bore it all so we didn't have to. I didn't know what that meant until I looked into her face and saw how heartbroken she was. I would bear it all, so that she wouldn't, so she would live, so I could give her back to you, a little worn and battered, but very much alive and missing her daughter. I would deal with the pain of hope that you brought. I would silently suffer with you, through all the ups and downs that you faced alone. I cried with you at times. I sang alone to the music you would sometimes play. But, it was as soon as I heard you tell Madi to load the guns... I knew something bad was happening and I wanted to claw my way out of the bunker to get to you. I wanted to order the army to lay waste to anyone who dared to touch you or Madi. And, it was in that moment that I called Indra and Abby to me," Octavia explained.

"What did you do?" Clarke inquired quietly.

"I started playing the transmissions. I told her about them. I let her listen to them. I don't know how far she got or if she even knew about Madi. You didn't always bring her up, even after she joined you in the village, but I know that she heard enough to know that her daughter had lived. Abby...she felt like she had do things to be worthy of being your mother again. I wonder if that is what pushed her to go with Diyoza. She was sacrificing herself for you. It wasn't for us. It was for you. She wanted to make sure that you lived. And, that is why I am going to that valley. I am not going just for the valley, Clarke. I am not going to rescue Kane and Abby. I am not going to just get the rest of our friends or even bring Madi home to you. I am doing it for you, Clarke. I am going and I'm going to kill them all, so you don't have to," Octavia told her and stood up.

Clarke just stared at her. She didn't know what to say, but her eyes followed Octavia as she slowly made her way to the door of the office. She opened it and Miller poked his head around the door.

"_Blodreina?"_

_"Assemble all the captains and find Indra. We have a war to plan. Have her bring her maps. And, find Kara. We need rations."_

_"Sha, Blodreina,"_ Miller replied as he took off.

She shut the door and moved towards her desk. She fell into the chair and looked down at the map. Her hands started moving across the lines, measuring the distance between the bunker and Eden.

Clarke moved then. She stood up and made her way to the desk as well. She looked down at the map and gasp.

"You gave me enough information..."

"You aren't going alone. I'm going with you. And, we need to be careful," Clarke warned her.

"Why?"

"They have missiles on that transport ship," Clarke stated.


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter 12**

**123 days after ****_Praimfaya_**

Clarke awoke to a scream. She was off her bed, half dressed, pistol in hand and out the door before she realized what she was doing. She glanced around the little village but nothing seemed to be amiss. She heard the scream again and ran back into the house that she'd been living in. Madi was sitting up in her bed, screaming. She ran back into the house to comfort the child. Rocking her slightly as they embraced, sitting on her bed, Clarke found herself humming a song that her mother used to sing to her on the Ark.

"Bell, I don't know if you remember the song or not, but Mom used to sing it to me when I had a nightmare or a bad day. I can't believe that I didn't remember any of that until Madi woke up screaming today. I found my self singing it to her. It is days like today that I miss Mom and everyone more. I don't have anyone to comfort me but Madi. She's just a child, Bellamy. How is she supposed to comfort and protect me, when I supposed to be the adult? God...I'm barely nineteen, I think. Hell, I don't even know what day and month it is. Guess it doesn't really matter though. Still counting down though. Can't wait to see you again," Clarke said.

Across the sandy deserts of the lands between Polis and Eden, Octavia sat in her office. Listening to the radio, she thought about what Clarke had said. She was barely sixteen when they were dropped on Earth. Now, she was barely eighteen and she was the leader of _Wonkru._ How indeed was she supposed to comfort a child when she was still one herself? She looked to Indra for support, but even her _Trikru_ mother wasn't all about comfort.

She understood it though. She knew that the Grounders had to be hard and had to grow up quickly. They didn't have the same luxuries that _Skaikru_ had while living on the Ark. But, they weren't on the Ark and Octavia was no longer a fugitive just for being alive. She was the leader of the last of men. She was the champion of the last conclave. She was the new beginning. The time of the _Hedas _was over. She was the first leader of the new society. She was _Blodreina._

She gathered herself and made her way down to the school room. She'd promised Gaia that she would come there and find out more about what she was teaching the _goufas._ She'd meant it, but she figured that Gaia thought she forgot. She hadn't. She'd just been preoccupied. But, now that things were actually starting to settle down and the people were starting to get along and fall in line to the new era of man, she had time to check on what she deemed "the little projects." They were still important, but they weren't necessary in keeping everyone alive.

The school had the banners of the Second Dawn Cult hanging prominently. She wondered if she should have taken them down from the mess hall, but she realize that most of the Grounders couldn't read them. The phrasing was all they knew and it was those words that made Octavia wonder about the former cult members. "Blood must have blood," "From the ashes, we will rise," and "Your fight is over." Three phrases that every Grounder learned as a child. The three tenants of the _Heda _religion. The more she looked at the Second Dawn symbol, the more she saw it. She saw it in Gaia's tattoo, a very common tattoo for _Flaimkepas._ The rays coming off were numbered twelve, the number of original clans. Twelve seemed to be a magic number for them. And, with good reason, it seemed. Twelve clans, twelve space stations, twelve surviving clans, twelve members of the council (both on the Ark and for _Wonkru_), it was everywhere in Grounder life. It was like they couldn't escape or they didn't try. Even the damn bunker had twelve levels.

She thought that they needed a new phrase and new slogan. "From the ashes we will rise" wasn't what she wanted because it was going to be their truth. From the ashes, from the ground, they would rise, they would come back and they would repopulate the Earth. No, they needed something that would unite them, something that they could believe in, and it needed to be more inspirational than her "You are either _Wonkru _or the enemy of _Wonkru: _choose!" She needed something powerful enough that both the Grounders and _Skaikru_ could latch on to it.

Octavia made her way back to her office just after lunch. Nothing came to mind for her. She stared around the office and took in the decor, but nothing was popping out to her for a new slogan. She was literally staring at her desk, book laid out and paper strewn across it. It wasn't a mess but it wasn't the cleanest she kept it, either. She had been searching for inspiration, but wasn't really finding anything.

Indra came into the office that afternoon and watched her. She could tell that Octavia was deep in thought and she could only wonder why. She'd learned as a general for Lexa to never interrupt her thinking. When Lexa was ready to discuss things, she would let them know. It was the same with Octavia. Indra let her ponder things and then waited for her to look up and with her eyes ask for council. She was never one to solicit it for either of them without their consent. She reacted out of turn a lot, but she never offered council without permission, especially in the beginning of the negotiations with _Skaikru _and Lexa.

"Indra, we need to bind the people together. We are working for a common goal: survival. But, it isn't enough. They don't believe it. They don't believe in me. They still don't trust me. I can see it in their eyes. They are waiting for me to just start systematically slaughtering them."

"Are there those that need to be punished?" Indra asked.

"Not that I know of. The guards haven't reported any crimes to me and as far as I know, Miller has the cooperation of most of the guards. I think that the fighting pit worked, but I know that it is only a matter of time before tempers start to flare again. I am optimistic, not stupid."

"_Sha, Blodreina," _Indra replied.

"You all fought under the principle of _jus drein jus daun _for almost a hundred years, but now, we can't afford that. On the Ark, everything was the betterment of the group. If you did something that could hurt the Ark, you were floated. Crimes were all capital offences. I know that I pushed for that with the fighting pits, but..."

"You are _Wonkru _or the enemy of _Wonkru:_ choose!"

"So your saying that if they choose to remain _Wonkru, _they should be forgiven?" Octavia asked her.

"I think it depends on the severity of the crime, _Blodreina,_" Indra answered.

"Meaning?"

"I think it was harsh that someone who stole blankets was put in the fighting pits, but it is not my place to question you, _Blodreina."_

"If not yours, than who's?"

Indra looked at her. She'd never understood why Lexa kept her so close after Anya's death, but she was starting to get it with Octavia. She needed someone, a mentor, a teacher, someone who made her think, who questioned her and didn't let her just react. Was that what Octavia needed from her as well? Did see need Indra to counterbalance her sometimes? Did she need someone who would or could possibly rein her back in when she went to a new level of crazy?

"What is it you ask of me, Octavia?"

"You were my _Fos. _I was your _sekkon. _I don't know what I need. I don't have the other _hedas_ in my head helping me. I'm alone in this office and I'm trying, but I never..."

"You are doing well," Indra stated.

"Don't placate me, Indra. The people are afraid of me. I can see it in their eyes."

"As they should be," Indra replied.

"Fear doesn't groom loyalty. Fear breeds hostility and insurrection. We can't afford too many coups, Indra."

"The only coups will come from _Skaikru, Blodreina. _They do not understand our way of life. They don't know what it is to pledge their lives to the _Osleya. _You may not be the _heda, Oktevia, _but you are their _Osleya. _You took them in when you could have let them all burn. Most of them realize that now. You saved a fraction of each _kru_ because you saw the same things that Clarke and Lexa saw," Indra told her.

"And what is that?"

"A united people fighting for the great survival of us all," Indra replied.

"That's poetic, but I doubt it possible."

"That is what we told Lexa about the coalition and she united all twelve clans," Indra countered.

"But, they aren't united here!"

"Then, we have to push them into being again. We are one people now. We are _Wonkru. _Teaching the _gofa _this is easy. They will grow up and believe it. _Gonas _are harder to change, but you are slowly. Mixing everyone up and making them each work the farm was a good call."

"But, was it the right one?"

"Are you afraid of something?" Indra asked her.

"Poison? One disgruntled person could end it all for us," Octavia replied.

"That would be true no matter what, but I doubt that anyone is dumb enough to poison the food or water supply. There were be no guarantee that they wouldn't get sick and be able to get to the antidote. They also wouldn't be able to protect their loved ones without tipping someone off, either in their old _krus_ or through the inventories that you require every week. It is too random and too uncontrolled. No, if someone want to do something on that scale, they'll just attack. It is simpler and easier to hide," Indra told her. "But, depending who they want to kill? That is another issue. Have you heard of something against you, my _Osleya?"_

_"_No, Indra, I have not. And, I doubt that you have either. Miller hasn't said anything either, but depending on who it is, he might just deal with it on his own. He had been given that power, but so have you with the expectation that I would be informed. Is there anything that you need to tell me?"

"No, _Osleya, _there is not."

"Then, we will not worry about it until we have to, _sha?_"

"_Sha, Osleya,_" Indra replied.

Octavia was quiet then. She went back to her books and Indra let her. She could tell that Octavia was gathering her thoughts. She looked over the desk and found a closed book on the edge. She picked it up and Octavia eyes followed her movement. Indra ran her finger down the spine of the book and then opened it. She flipped through the pages and Octavia could only wonder if Indra knew how to read the words there. Speaking _Gonasleng _and reading it were two different things. After a few minutes, Octavia pushed back from the desk and looked over at Indra and her curiosity over the book in hand.

"What book is that?"

"I am not sure," Indra answered and handed it to Octavia so she could get her own answers.

Octavia turned the book over and looked at the title. She smiled. She knew that Indra would like the story line. It was about a war and protecting the king.

"The Three Musketeers by Alexandre Dumas, eh?"

"Dumm ah?"

"It's French, but that doesn't matter. It is about a group of loyal _gona _that protect their _haihefa._ Basically their _Flaimkepa _and another _Natrona_ try to kill the _haihefa_ and take over the kingdom. They failed in believing that the Musketeers would just let it happen. Their sole purpose was to fight and die for the _haihefa. _They were the best of the best," Octavia told her.

"Like _Osleya en Hedas _personal guards?"

"Precisely."

"Do they win? Do they save the _heihefa?"_

"Yes, they do. And they had a phrase that they used to identify themselves, besides their specialize tunics and markings. It was the one tenant that they always followed, no matter who they were protecting or what they did," Octavia told her.

"What was it?"

"All for one and one for all," Octavia stated.

"I don't understand."

"It meant that they all served the _haihefa_ and it was the most important charge of their lives and as such the _haihefa_ served the people. It was a lot like the devotion of the people to Lexa and her devotion to the people. But, it also meant that if you attacked one, that you would have the entire Musketeer regiment come down on you. Duels with them were usually decidedly one sided in their favor, so much so, that they didn't have many."

"We need to remind the people of this," Indra said.

"Remind them of what?" Octavia asked.

"That even though you are the _Osleya en Blodreina,_ you serve the people. You are doing what must be done to keep us alive. We must agree to serve you in order for us to serve. We need to serve the one, you, so you can serve us. It is a very...I believe the word is poetic thought. And, it is good that it is from a warrior's mentality. It will help the people follow it. You should use that to unite the people, Octavia. They will like it."

"I don't want it to be the same, but the same in thought."

"Then change it some. Make it _Blodreina's_ and not Dum-ah's. Show the people that you are the _Oselya _for more than your ability to fight a battle. Prove to them that you would have been worthy of the flame had you been a _natblida_ and watch them fall in line. They need to know that you think with your head, _Oktevia, _and not your heart."

"All of me..." she started. "All of me for all of us..._Omon gon oson."_

_"Omon gon oson!"_ Indra called back to her smiling and nodded. "Good. Good. I will let the people know, _Osleya."_

Indra stood and left the room. Octavia looked at the book and smiled. Leave it to Indra to help her find more inspiration from a book she hadn't read since she was back on the Ark. She remembered when Bellamy brought it back to their room. She devoured every book that he brought because they were the only true passes she had into the world outside their doors. It was a way to stay occupied and a way to escape. She dreamed of heading to the ground. She dreamed of being a warrior, or a princess, or Grecian goddess, or a roman gladiator. There was so much that she wanted, but now, she was on the ground and nothing was like it was in the books. That world was gone, dead, buried from bombs and now nuclear reactors failing the world over. The world of her dreams was nothing more than words on a page and that was all it would ever be. She couldn't dwell on that. She had to find a way to move on. She had to find a way to make something of what she had.

Clarke had found a paradise, but they were stuck in the bunker, in the ground, surrounded by concrete and steel. She longed for the forests. She longed to see the seas again, a blue sky, anything but the gray she stared at now daily with the artificial lights. It reminded her too much of the Ark. The hum was quieter.

Abby came into the office. Octavia smiled at her. It was the first time that Abby had come on her own in weeks.

"What's up, Doc?" Octavia asked her as she moved the rest of the things on her desk to look up into Abby's chocolate eyes.

"It's been over a hundred days."

"It has."

"Sometimes when I wake up, I realize that we aren't on the Ark anymore and we aren't on Earth."

"We're in Earth," Octavia corrected her.

"But, this is like a nightmare for us," Abby stated.

"How so?"

"The hum is back. The artificial light covers us again. We've had to bump up the vitamin D rich vegetables to make sure that we keep levels high enough."

"I thought the sun lamps would help," Octavia stated.

"They do, but the more we can eat, the better our body will process it. I don't know how you were so pale..."

"In the Skybox, I got random hours of sunlight. I was amazed by everything I could see from my small window. The stars, Earth, the sun, the moon...it was all so different than the hole in the floor. I actually liked living there. I had more freedom in my cell than I did in the quarters that my mother was afforded, where Bellamy lived his last days on the Ark. Being thrown in the Skybox was a blessing for me, Abby. Being sent to the ground gave me a new life and I grabbed ahold and ran with it. How could I not? There was so much freedom for me on Earth. There were no walls. There were no worried parents. There was Bell and Clarke, our makeshift parents that managed to keep us in line and try to broker a peace with the Grounders. They came together when the rest of us would have got us all slaughtered. Clarke saved our asses. She never stopped questioning," Octavia told her.

"She never does."

"And, that will keep her alive."

"What?"

"If that was her, Abby, she will find a way to survive. She's too stubborn to die. She is the _Wanheda, _remember? She commands Death. I doubt that she will let him come for her without seeing you again first. We both know as much anger for you that she carries, Clarke carries more love. She'll see us both again. We have to hold on to that."

Abby just nods. She doesn't know what to say. Octavia was different with her about Clarke. She didn't know why, but Abby learned not to question it. She needed Octavia's silent support, her quiet optimism, some that she hadn't lost with everything else she'd lost on Earth. Octavia was still fast with a quip and looking for the silver lining. She nodded again. Octavia would be the one that would save them...from their arrogance...from their fear of the unknown...from their fear of what they didn't understand. She'd made the hundred _Skaikru_ go class with Gaia and Kane. She made them learn about the peoples that had survived. She was making them build a single society out of twelve, just the same as the early people of the Ark when the twelve stations came together. Twelve countries, what was thought to the be the last of man, coming together to not only survive, but to work together, live together, and thrive together in their modern day Ark for mankind. The first Chancellor started Unity Day to celebrate this.

"You need a Unity Day," Abby stated.

"What?"

"When the twelve stations came together as one, they celebrated it as Unity Day. You need a Unity Day. We need to celebrate the coming together of the twelve clans of man becoming _Wonkru_," Abby told her.

Octavia smiled. It was perfect. They would celebrate. They would have their Unity Day. And, she would give them their new tenant, _Omon gon oson._

_"Omon gon oson," _Octavia said quietly.

"What?"

"_Omon gon oson,"_ she replied louder.

"What does that mean?"

"All of me for all of us."

"Oh mon gone oh sohn?"

"_Omon gon oson," _Octavia stated again with a firm nod of her head.

"_Omon gon oson, _our united _Wonkru, _our unity for all of man," Abby added.

"_Sha!"_


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter 13**

"What is it about _branwodas_ and missiles?" Octavia asked.

Clarke pulled back up from the maps on the table. She met Indra and Octavia's eyes from where they were standing behind Octavia's desk. She still felt bad about the missile hitting TonDC even if Indra excused it. Octavia never really had. They had come to a peace about it, but Octavia had never really formally forgave her for it. And, to be honest, Clarke would never be ready for it. Too many people died that day, but she and Lexa survived, sacrificing their own people and most of TonDC in order to protect Bellamy in the mountain and getting the intel they needed to fight the mountain and win.

Octavia's eyes met Clarke's and she knew exactly where her mind went. Hers did as well. How could it not? She hated missiles. Missiles had destroyed the world and caused the first apocalypse. A missile destroyed TonDC. Missiles destroyed Mount Weather completely with the self destruct sequence. And, by association, missiles from the first apocalypse caused the second because of all the weakened nuclear plants around the world. Missiles weren't just destructive and deadly, they were Earth and life altering. They all needed to be destroyed.

"Can Raven stop them?" Octavia asked her.

"If she can hack their system, but it also depends on where Diyoza has her. If she is near enough to Shaw, she might be able to do something. But, Diyoza isn't a fool. She is no _branwoda, _Octavia. She is a military tactician. She lives, breathes, and shits war. It is in her blood. She is as smart as a _heda._"

She knew that her words made sense to Octavia even if they angered any of the Grounders with them. They were planning on how to attack the valley and take it back. Getting there was going to be the bulk of their battle. The journey would be one of survival and Clarke wasn't sure that they were ready for it. Seven days across the desert with glass filled sand storms didn't sound like a pleasant march to war. There would be no resting beneath trees. There would be no stops at a lake or river on the way to refresh their water supply. They would have to carry whatever food stuffs they needed until they got to the valley or starve. There were no animals in that vast wasteland to hunt or plants to gather from.

"We need someone who can get close enough to talk to us," Indra stated.

"If we use radios, Diyoza will know," Clarke replied. "The radios that they are using are better than anything that we could make from the bunker or anything that Raven made. As soon as we start talking, she'll know. She'll move accordingly. There would be no element of surprise. We'd walk right into a trap."

"Not if we give her false information," Octavia added.

"She'll expect it. She'll be prepared. She'll know we're there before we get there."

"You make it sound like it is a suicide mission, _Wanheda,_" Indra said.

"It isn't a suicide mission. It is foolish. She was a Navy SEAL. They were the best warriors that the military had in this area of the world in her day. She commands those prisoners, but she doesn't have me. I know the lay of the land. I know where we can hide and where we can attack from. The only problem is we are going to lose men. We out number her, sure, almost two to one, but not all of us are warriors, Indra. Would you send _goufa en_ _fisas_ to fight for us? I am not saying that we can't get in, but those that go first will most likely die," Clarke told them.

"Then, we need to figure out the best way to assault Eden and have the lowest and minimal loss of life," Octavia stated. "Where can we do that?"

"No where until we get to the trees," Clarke replied.

"What do you mean?" Octavia stated.

"Leaving from here and marching there will take roughly seven days or more. Many will not make the journey and will be weak when we get there. The wastelands between Polis and Eden might have once been lush, green forests, but now they are nothing but desert, sand as far as you can see. The sand storms are full of glass sharp enough to cut the toughest materials. There is no water, no hunting, no plants to eat. There is nothing but sand and certain death," Clarke stated.

"You speak like you know this personally," Indra quipped as she stared into Clarke's deep blue eyes.

"I do. I almost died in it. I prayed for death. I asked for it," Clarke told her, not backing down. "But, I didn't. Whatever the powers that be that make me _Wanheda _decided that my fight was not over and I lived to tell you about the dangers there. We can cross it, but we have to be prepared. We don't have the Rover. It is still in Eden. Hopefully Madi took those Bellamy left behind in the valley to it, but I can't guarantee that the others and she will get out, peacefully, and head towards Polis. They don't know where we went, really."

Indra looked schooled by Clarke's words and nodded to her in acceptance. Clarke knew that it was too many years as a general to Lexa to be questioned and too many years in the bunker with Octavia. They were all still expecting to see their glorious forests and lakes, but they were all gone. She knew that they didn't want to believe her, but the Earth had been fucked since _Praimfaya._

Clarke sat down. She knew she needed to calm herself. She couldn't keep pushing so hard because they didn't understand. She could beat all her knowledge of the world now in their heads in a few hours or days. But her daughter was now behind enemy lines, even though Madi had the advantage, Diyoza would soon dismantle all their traps, find their caves, and their stores. Madi would want to stay and fight and knowing who was with her, she didn't doubt that it wouldn't take long for her to convince Echo to stay and fight with her. The rest of them were kind of wild cards, but she knew that they would try to convince Madi to leave.

She looked around the table. Bellamy sat across from her and didn't look too impressed. It wasn't surprising to her. He thought he'd brokered a good deal with Diyoza, because he didn't want to look passed his own ego. He wasn't as powerful as he thought he was. And he should have known better. He didn't have a lot to work worth, but bargaining for the lives of the prisoners still on the ship. She watched as Indra moved closer to him and Miller rolled his eyes. The only thing she was glad about was that Kane and Abby weren't there, so they didn't hear about her almost death.

"They had a radio, too," Bellamy stated.

"So, they've been listening to Diyoza already."

"Probably. They know we've been betrayed at least by now. How long would it take them to get here, Clarke?" Bellamy asked her.

"With Madi driving? Around five to six hours. If they don't let her drive, a day or two. I know that you probably brought maps or something, but Madi..." Clarke started.

"So, Harper, Monty, Murphy, Emori and Echo are with Madi, they'll be here soon. I know they won't stay. They'll be looking for us. So, we'll just wait for the Rover," Bellamy stated with authority.

Clarke and Octavia both looked at him and shook their heads. He was really dense. Clarke wanted to get to her daughter and Octavia wanted to kill Diyoza.

"Waiting is not an option," Clarke said.

"She's right. Diyoza is already going to be digging in and prepping for us coming. She has Abby and Kane, too. Who knows why, but we can guess that there is something wrong with some of the prisoners. Which means we might not be fighting as many as we thought," Octavia stated.

"They have guns and whatever the hell it was that knocked you out, Octavia, and vaporized a man into nothing but a blood stain. They have missiles. What do we have? _F__ayogon?_ That's great, but can they use them with accuracy? Are they still afraid of them? How many men can you outfit right now, armed to the teeth with guns, to take back the valley? Six hundred? Four? One?" Clarke asked, her temper flaring.

Indra reached out and put hand on Octavia's shoulder. She knew O's temper and how she would react to be challenged like that. Clarke saw the gesture and saw Octavia deflate a little bit. Indra knew that Clarke didn't want Octavia's position. She could tell by the fire in Clarke's eyes. Clarke wanted Madi back and she understood wanting to have her _yongon_ close again. She also wanted Abby back as well. Her family was in the valley and she was here in the bunker planning a war.

"I'm going for a walk," Clarke told them and stood up to leave.

"Wait!" Octavia stated.

"What?"

"I want to go with you."

"What?!" Clarke asked her.

Ignoring Clarke's question, Octavia turned to Indra and Miller, "Keep working on planning a route. Pick people to be in front and get with Cooper about our rations. Get one of the guys down in the hydro plant about getting us some water for the trip to Eden. I'll be with Clarke. Don't follow us."

Clarke just looked at her as they walked out of the office. Octavia matched her pace. She didn't say anything. She just let Clarke seethe and that pissed Clarke off somewhat. She didn't need anyone to agree with her anger. She wanted them to see what she knew and use it to save lives. She hated being placated.

"Come with me," Octavia said as they moved down deeper into the bunker.

She stopped in front of room and opened the door. Looking around in it, Clarke noticed that it was mostly bare. There were some banners hanging, but she could tell that they were from the Second Dawn cult. She let her eyes flow over them and realized that they were the sayings of the Grounders. Had they all come the descendents of the Second Dawn? Clarke didn't know and it honestly didn't matter at the moment. She was just so angry and she didn't really know why.

"We'll get her back."

"Before or after Diyoza lays waste to everyone from the bunker?" Clarke quipped.

"I am not a fool, Clarke. I am not going to go charging in. I want her to believe that I am, though. I want to draw her out. She started this war and I'm going to finish. If she'd just taken Bellamy's deal, I might have let them stay. But, now, I can't. I can't allow them to even stay. They took our promised land, Clarke. I have to punish them."

"And, you're going to kill them all?"

"I might. I don't know. I can't let them get away with it. The people would revolt. I know that Lexa was trying to move to a form of 'Blood must not have blood,' Clarke, but it isn't going to be easy. They've hurt us all with this move. They didn't just kill a few guards. They are sentencing us to die here and they know it. A group of prisoners in your home and it trying to defend it from you. They took your home, Clarke. They hurt you. They are hunting Madi. Surely, you can't excuse that," Octavia stated.

"I can't and you know that."

"The people still believe in you as _Wanheda. _They haven't forgotten. It might have been a few years, but they all still know who you are, Clarke. A legend like that doesn't just die. They would follow you just as easily as they will follow me. Things aren't so different as they were before. There is no _Kongeda, _there is only _Wonkru._"

Clarke nodded. They both moved further in the room. Octavia stepped into a corner and dropped her overshirt. She unbuckled her belt and dropped her sword and the belt there, too. She shook her arms and limbs out. She looked over at Clarke and cocked her head. Clarke just stared at her.

"What are you doing?"

"Training," Octavia said as she rushed Clarke.

Clarke moved, dodging the move. She spun around at Octavia and stared at her harder. Octavia rushed her again. This time when Clarke, moved she stripped off her leather jacket and tossed it at the wall. Now, she was just in a black tank top. When Octavia rushed at her again, she spun this time and popped her upside the back of her head. Octavia smiled as she turned and grabbed Clarke.

She knew that Lexa had to teach Clarke some hand to hand techniques before she died. Clarke was a quick study. Plus she had all that time in Eden to build up muscle while farming, hunting and gathering. She couldn't be soft and expect to survive. Octavia was counting on that hardness. She knew that Clarke didn't like to be so cold, but sometimes being cold was for the best.

Clarke got out of the hold and pushed her away. Octavia straightened and smiled at her. The next time she came at Clarke, she stopped short causing the blonde to question the move until she saw Octavia's fist coming at her. After that, it was on. They were trading punches and strikes, working up a sweat and pushing each other. Octavia could see it in her eyes that Clarke didn't want to fight, but she could also see her watching Octavia looking her over, assessing her medically as they continued to spar.

"Concentrate," Octavia told her.

"On?"

"Quit checking my health and look for an opening to strike," Octavia said as she swept her legs out from under her and caught Clarke before she hit the concrete floor.

Clarke nodded as Octavia pulled her back up to her feet. Octavia smiled at her. She waited for Clarke to square up again, but she missed the glint in the blonde's eyes. Clarke caught her by surprise with a good right jab. Octavia stumbled back a little and grinned.

"Good. Very good. We both know that you are good at the surprise attacks. You're the fucking best at pulling something out of your ass and saving not only yourself but all of us, too. It's kinda like your signature move, Clarke. You need to learn to fight, though."

"Again?" Clarke questioned with a quirked eyebrow, smile, and a downright playful look her eyes.

Octavia could do nothing but smile and nod at her. She dropped back into a stance and watched as Clarke did the same. This time, Clarke kept her eyes on Octavia and she could tell that Octavia was watching her as well. They circled each other for a few moments before either of them decided to make the first move. They stepped into each other, both throwing a jab that barely missed the other's chin, and stepped away before an effective counter strike could land.

"You've been practicing?" Octavia asked her.

"No, I didn't have anyone to spar with. You know that. I was too busy trying to raise a child and survive. We were alone. There was no need to fight," Clarke told her as they continued to circle each other.

"Must have been nice."

"It was some days, but other's it was extremely lonely. I would have given almost anything to have someone who was older to talk to, but that would have been unfair for Madi. She lost everyone she knew. They weren't coming back. No one in her village knew about the bunker that she knows. She told me that no one was missing that she could think of, but she was too small to remember everyone," Clarke stated.

Octavia stopped moving. She looked at Clarke and her heart broke for the girl. Clarke was alone with a girl that had no idea what happened.

"She thought that she was being punished at one point for hiding from the _Flaimkepas._"

"Clarke."

"Are we fighting or what?"

"I won't give her to Gaia."

"What?" Clarke stated.

"I won't tell Gaia about her. But, we'll have to come up with something to protect her. I know that you don't want her to take the Flame and be _heda. _You love her. I know that. I've not met her, but I will not let her be taken from you. She is now Madi Griffin. And, that is all anyone needs to know."

Clarke stopped moving. She looked deeply into Octavia's eyes. She cocked her head and then crossed the room. She stepped up to Octavia and then swept her legs out from under, making sure to hold on to her, breaking her fall. It was mostly because she didn't want to have to repair her again.

Octavia looked up at Clarke from the flat of her back. She could see the mischief in her eyes. She couldn't help the small grin that was forming. Her actions had worked. She'd made Clarke calm down. She wasn't so angry and she'd found a new sparring partner.

"Never let down your guard, _Osleya,_" Clarke teased.

"Maybe you should have fought in the conclave then," Octavia replied.

"Nah, I would have died. You were the best choice even if I didn't like it. Anyone else would have died too quickly," Clarke stated.

"But, you still didn't believe that I would win," Octavia retorted as she allowed Clarke to pull her back up.

"It wasn't just that, O. I was scared. I reacted badly and I know that. I wish I could apologize for it, but I won't. I was at my wit's end. I'd lost Lexa all over again when I defeated A.L.I.E. Only to realize that I was dooming us all. It was my cross to bear. Jaha might have found the bunker because of the Second Dawn Cult, but..."

"But?"

"I knew that I couldn't let him rule over us all again. His decisions cost our people too much. From him being Chancellor to being the person that A.L.I.E. was using to recruit everyone to take the chips, he couldn't be trusted. And, I think somewhere while we were working in the bunker, he realized that he wasn't going to be asked to be the leader. He realized that in Arkadia. He knew that since I'd stepped up, brokered the alliances and Kane and Mom had basically been sharing the Chancellery since they thought that Jaha was dying on the Ring, that he would have to be a cog in the machine. No one trusted him after all the bullshit with A.L.I.E. How could they? He gave a fucking computer program an armed nuke that he took a joy ride on to get to Earth? I mean how does that even sound sane? Who would elect that to lead them?"

"No sane person," Octavia answered.

"Exactly, but Jaha made sure to make himself useful and be near enough to those in power to remain important. Jaha might not have always thought about the full consequences, but he wasn't exactly stupid either," Clarke added.

"He saved us," Octavia added.

"I know."

"I think Wells' death hit him harder than he let on, but you're right. He did stay close to me once the bunker was closed. Indra wanted to beat him a few times, but he was doing it for the right reasons this time. He had Ethan to think about. Ethan wasn't Wells, but it gave him back some of his priorities as a father. Keeping Ethan alive became his main drive. Befriending me made sure that Ethan was cared for no matter what happened to him. Giving me Ethan to care for, gave me something to aspire to be and strive to show the people. His death was hard on us all who knew him, but none more so than Kane and Ethan," Octavia stated.

"I can imagine."

"What became of those that died in the bunker, O?" Clarke asked her.

"We incinerated them. We couldn't leave them out to decay or we would get sick. There was no where to bury them. And with the Grounders, most of the clans, burned their dead to return them to the 'ash in which they came from and to send their spirits to the stars.' It was poetic in a way. They is why some of them are still so fearful of us. We came from the stars in balls of fire. Something thought that the gods were coming to take them home and others that the ancestors were coming back to right wrongs done to their clans. Imagine their surprise when they actually met us and realized that we were so much alike," Octavia explained.

"So you blended the traditions?"

"As well as we could. It was hard. Some clans wanted theirs to be the one we followed. Gaia pushed hard for those of Trikru because most of the _hedas_ were of Trikru," Octavia answered.

"They did take us in first and help us. We were in their land, so it made sense that we would take on some of their traditions and blend them with our own. I am sure that Kane brought that up with her," Clarke stated.

"Actually it was Indra."

"Her own mother?"

"Yup," Octavia started. "I think Indra gets some weird pleasure out of pissing her off. She still thinks that Gaia is a fool far having run off and becoming a _Flaimkepa. _She loves her daughter, but she doesn't believe that Gaia is full true to _Trikru _now. She's funny when it comes to Gaia."

"She's funny when it comes you, her _skaigada," _Clarke told her.

"She does. She is the closest thing I've had to a mother-figure since my own mother was floated. And, honestly, it could be worse. She was my _Fos. _I think that kinda of relationship is born between most _Fos en sekkens."_

_"_I think you're right, well, except for Lexa and Anya," Clarke replied.

"No, I think that Anya loved Lexa more than she let on. You saw Lexa's face when you gave her Anya's braid. Hell, Anya kidnapped you to try to save Tris. You can't tell me that she didn't love them. She was hella protective of them, but she also knew that Lexa was no longer hers to worry about when she became _heda."_

"True, I wish that Anya had survived though. I think we all could have learned more from her. She was strong and devoted, but there was something about her, too. I think I knew why Lexa loved her though."

"Why?"

"She was the closest thing that she had to mother once she was found out to be a night blood. She was taken from her family and given to Titus. Anya was the first person outside of the rest of the night bloods that she had contact with. Anya helped train her and make her who she was. She was proud of Anya and Anya was proud of her. Indra told me that she only taken Tris on as a new _sekken _because Lexa insisted that she needed to train more warriors. She had gone years without one because she was more worried about serving Lexa and the _Komgeda."_

"That sounds about right. Have you made Indra take another?"

"No, but I told that she could. I've left it up to her. She told that she still has a _sekken,_ and can't take on another."

"You?"

"Yeah, she says that she hasn't released me from my obligation just because I won the conclave. She said that I still have much to learn, but she was willing to follow me and guide as needed. Honestly, I need her at my side as an advisor and my general more than I need her training our warriors. There are others who can do that," Octavia stated.

"Enough talking. Shall we continue. Another round?" Clarke asked her.

"Why not?"

They began circling again. She was glad that Clarke was calm and she was glad that she knew that she could spar with her without any issues between them. They would talk more. She would explain more and Clarke would as well. They understood each other on different levels now and there was no one that was more able to do that for them than each other. She knew that others would look at them weird, but she missed Clarke and it was nice having her back. She would elevate her among the people by choice. She was the _Wanheda_ after all.

They had been sparring again for about ten minutes when she heard Miller clear his throat in the doorway. She immediately dropped her stance and stood up. Clarke didn't seem to understand that Octavia was stopping their fight and continued with her assault. She was just as surprised as Octavia was when O hit the floor. Miller was already in the room and picking her up, shooting Clarke dirty looks, but he was smart enough to wait for Octavia's orders to do anything. Her remembered the last time that someone got in the middle of one of Octavia's fights. It didn't end well.

"What is it, Miller?"

"Everyone is outside and waiting," he told her.

"Waiting for what?" Clarke asked.

Miller eyed her and spoke again once Octavia nodded, "The ceremonies for our dead."

"Then let's go," Clarke replied as she headed for the wall and gathered her jacket.

When they were outside the room, Clarke made her way in front of them and continued towards the surface. Miller and Octavia dropped back. She knew it was so she could stop by her office and get her ceremonial robes. She grabbed something for Clarke, too, smiling as she held it. She looked up into Miller's eyes.

"Giving that back to her?" he asked.

"Yeah, I am. Get her guards, Miller. Protect her. And, let me know who they are. I want to instruct them personally," she told him.

"_Sha, Blodreina," _he replied and they made their way to the surface to pay their respects to the guards who'd died trying to protect Octavia and the people from Diyoza's men.


	14. Chapter 14

**Chapter 14**

**Three hundred twenty-one days after ****_Praimfaya_**

Octavia was in the training room with Miller. They were trading blows, but Octavia's heart wasn't really in it. She felt like she was losing her edge. It was why she got Miller up with her to train every morning now. When they were done, she would shower and go eat breakfast. Sometime after that, she would be in her office hoping to catch Clarke's broadcast for the morning, if she did one. When it was over, she would head down to the class room to check on Gaia and Kane's instruction.

Kane realized early on that she wasn't just checking up on them. She was trying to learn as well. He knew that her being under the floor severely stunted her education on the Ark. Pike had tried to instill as many "Earth" skills as he could before they got dropped and Pike had told him that Octavia had soaked it all up like a sponge. She was one of the few, up there with Wells and Clarke, that Kane believed would actually survive once they landed. When she realized that Lincoln understood English, she got him to start teaching her _Trigedaslenge. _Indra had taken over as her mentor when she became the darker warrior's _sekkon,_ but she still soaked up everything she could about surviving, living on the ground, and fighting.

Now, each time she stepped inside their classroom, she wanted to learn about each clan's history. She wanted to know more about why the Ark came together to survive. She used her time to learn and to make sure that all the little _goufa_ knew that even leaders didn't stop learning. She figured that the more she knew, the more she could help her people. There was so much that she didn't understand or know and it wasn't her fault. She'd just never been taught.

She made up her mind that after Clarke's broadcast that she would head down to the classroom before she did her daily rounds. She felt like she needed the innocence of the children, the _goufa_, that day and she didn't know why. Maybe it was an anniversary of something. She just didn't know. But, something was bothering her today, she could feel it. It was a just like an itch under her skin. She didn't have a name for it. She'd never felt anything like it and she wasn't sure she liked it. She looked around the mess hall as she watched everyone else eat their breakfast. No one seemed to be upset or dismayed. It was just her. And, then she felt a call to go back to the office. She'd learned to trust her instincts. She knew that she couldn't ignore. She stood quickly and disposed of her tray and left the mess hall with a purpose.

Working her way back to her office, she passed Indra. She could see a look on Indra's face. She didn't know what it meant, but she could see that it was something important. And, she realized that Indra was carrying something in her hands. The dark warrior said nothing, she just fell into step with Octavia and accompanied her to the office.

When she got to her office, she noticed that Wayne and Miller stopped just outside the door and took up their positions as guards. She shook her head. She hadn't even noticed that they were there. They had become her shadows that she just dismissed their presence around her because she just expected them to be there and not be obtrusive. She didn't like that. She wanted to know that they were there. She needed to know that they were there. She couldn't be a strong warrior and not know what was going on around her.

She huffed as she plopped in her chair behind the desk. She chanced a brief glance at the clock and saw that she still had a little time before Clarke's broadcast. She looked up at Indra standing before her desk, waiting to be acknowledged or given orders. Octavia looked her over. She could tell that Indra was exasperated.

"What is it?"

"The warriors are restless."

"Of course they are, Indra. There is nothing for us to fight in here except each other and we aren't stupid enough to kill each other, yet. Give it time and we will. For now, find ways to tire them out if you must. We have the entire bunker for them to work out in. Find somewhere away from everything and everyone and make them try to dig out. That ought to keep them busy for a good long time. We can make that a punishment, too. But, don't let them use tools that we might need. They will have to fashion something and use it. Just check to see what they are using before they start digging though."

"As you wish, _Blodreina," _Indra replied, standing.

"Indra, sit."

She cocked her head at Octavia's quick direction but did as she asked. She could feel something coming off of Octavia and knew better than to leave her alone at the moment. She waited for Octavia to say more.

"Don't make them dig. Threaten it, but tell them they'll have to use just their hands. If that doesn't quell their restlessness, send them to the farm or the hydro station and let them work it off. We could always use more workers. Or, they can continue to map some of the rooms and see what we can scavenge into something usable. There is always something to do. Just because we aren't actively at war doesn't mean that we can slack off," Octavia stated.

"Sha, _Osleya."_

"I mean what the hell did they all do when they weren't marching off to kill someone?"

"They made maps for _heda. _They watched their borders. They dealt with outlaws and thieves."

Octavia shook her head. They hadn't had a fight in the pits in months. There hadn't been a reason.

"They need something to prove their worth to me?"

"Possibly, _Oselya._"

"Then, we will have games."

"Games?" Indra asked.

"Like the pits, but not to death. They will be able to show off their prowess. Break them into groups, like platoons. They can fight for the honor of their groups. Prizes and such will be awarded to the winners," Octavia stated.

"Games," Indra said. "Sounds like a good idea. How often should we do this?"

"Every few months?"

"I will let the men know. I will get with the captains and break them up accordingly. We will have these games."

"I will get with Kane and Gaia to design them. But, Indra, don't let them break themselves into their clans. Make sure that the platoons are mixed. I don't want this to turn into a clan fights. Someone might be stupid enough to try something if it is. A remind them that it isn't to the death. If they kill someone in the games, they head for the pits. I will not lose people to petty fights that way. However, if a soldier dies because of their wounds, the opponent will be excused. Poison is still murder."

"I will let them know," Indra told her.

"Good. Now go. I will see you at lunch. Tell Miller that I'm not to be disturbed until then," Octavia commanded.

"_Sha, Osleya. Have a good meditation. I will see you at lunch,_" Indra replied in Trig and stood to leave.

Octavia just nodded. She didn't correct her. She knew that if Indra knew that she was listening to Clarke, she would demand to stay, and for now, she was still worried about them surviving on the surface. Sure, Clarke was, but she was a night blood. She was still listening to make sure that things were getting better and they would actually be able to survive once they got to the surface, however that happened. She just nodded again as Indra saluted her, with a fist to the chest, before leaving her office.

After Indra left, she stood and locked the door. She knew that Miller would ask her about it later and she knew that it was out of worry, but she didn't want anyone coming in while Clarke was talking. This was her time. She knew that Miller respected that and that is why she kept him on as her Captain of the Guard and why she told him to make sure that he was always on duty during the "day" for her. He was like Indra in some respects, quiet, patient with her, and extremely protective. He also knew that when she wanted/needed personal time that he would make sure that she got it.

She made her way over to the couch and sat down. She looked at the radio and then the clock again. She huffed as she got up and turned the volume up just a little. She didn't feel like sitting at the desk today. She wanted to be comfortable. She thought it was because of the foreboding feeling she had, but she wasn't sure. She wasn't going to push anything today. She just wanted to learn more about the people that she was housed with. She would do that later. She needed Clarke's words first.

She turned the volume knob and was about to sit down when she heard Clarke's voice crackle over the speaker. She quickly hit the record button and went back to the couch to sit. She could only wonder what topic Clarke would hit upon today.

"Heya, Bell. It's been over a year on the ground now and things are about the same as they were earlier. Nothing much has changed. Madi did convince me that we needed to trek to the solar field to get some panels though. I am not as good as Raven, but am I sure that I can come up with something, right? She agrees that the rover would be a good thing, soon. And, thinking about the winter that we survived without it, I would agree with her. Having the rover would be a god send, but then so would having more people. I'd be happy to even have Indra's scowl staring at me every morning, but I know that I am going to have to wait. Four more years, Bell, four more years and we will all be together again.

"Madi's been surveying the valley with me. I've started calling it Eden. I don't know what it was called before and Madi just calls it 'home.' I don't push on that."

There was a very audible huff. Octavia leaned back on the couch and stared at the radio and closed her eyes. She could see Clarke in head, surrounded by green lush forests and strange plants they'd never learned about before going in the bunker. She couldn't help the smile that came over her. Clarke would be the one to survive on her own on the ground. She didn't ever stop. She didn't ever quit and even when she thought about quitting, she ended up fighting back.

"I realized that today it has been a year since the bombing by the missile in TonDC. I am not sure how I am supposed to feel. I am still haunted by that day. I can now understand why Lexa took me and only me away from the village. I hated that decision then and I still do now. I know why she did it. She had to sacrifice a few to save the masses. It didn't matter that they were her people. It didn't matter that there were generals and seconds all in the village. It didn't matter that my mother was there. It didn't matter that her general, that Indra was there. I couldn't fathom her callousness and the coldness in her as we left. I couldn't do anything but feel for all those people that I didn't even know that were about to die. It was destroying me, but she was right. We had to go and we had to let those people die in order to protect you, Bell. I hated it, but I think that Octavia hated it more. She hated me for not telling them. Mom was very disappointed in me as well. I deserved it. I got the information from Raven while we listened to their radio transmissions and I ran for TonDC. I warned Lexa alone and we fled, leaving them all to die in our stead.

"I wanted to die then. I wanted to walk away. I wanted to blow up Mount Weather. I wanted revenge for all those lives. I pushed myself into finding a way to move on and attack the Mountain instead. I blamed their deaths on the Mountain and in a way, it was their fault. If those in the Mountain hadn't been attacking the Grounders, we wouldn't have been taken and used to help them try to get back on the ground. Each side, even ours, was fighting for the right to survive on Earth. We all did what we had to do in order to survive, right? The head and the heart, but that doesn't make it any easier. I still see their faces, those I knew, from TonDC some nights when I close my eyes. They haunt me, but worst of it, I think they forgive me. They gave their lives so we could save all the Grounders locked inside the Mountain.

"I want to laugh because it's only been a year, but I doubt that even Octavia could forgive me for that. It doesn't matter. Lexa ordered her death and I stopped it. I don't know if she even knows about that or not. Lexa wanted her dead because she figured out that we hid and she was afraid that Octavia was going to start a riot or something. I couldn't let her die. She was my friend. I tried to get her out. I pulled her to the edge of camp...Bell...I'm sorry. I put her in danger. It was all my fault. If I stayed...

"I know. I know. We would all be dead. They would have sucked the marrow from our bones and they would be fighting a war against the Grounders only to end up back in Mount Weather to ride out _Praimfaya._ That doesn't make it any easier. My actions by allowing them to fire that missile, to not save as many as I could at the TonDC, spurred me to killing them all. I wanted innocents to die. It's taken me a year to say that, but I did. I wasn't just killing them all to stop the harvests. I was killing them for what they had done to all the Grounders, what they had done to those of the Hundred that were left behind, what they had caused at TonDC, and the fact that they made Lexa betray us all and leave. I wanted vengeance so bad I could taste it.

"And, do you know who was by my side as we fought into the Mountain? Octavia. She pulled her sword, defied Lexa and Indra and helped me storm the Mountain. She was right there with me as we fought our way in to get to you and free our people. No matter what happened before, she was still willing to fight and die with me. And, I haven't a fucking clue as to why? Maybe, she needed to follow someone who was willing to go in. Maybe, she started to understand the politics of it all. Maybe, she's just a good soldier. I don't know, but if it had been me, I would have tried to kill myself once we were in the bunker. I wouldn't have given her a second chance to get out. I was and still am a liability to our people. Every time I lead us into something, people die, Bell. No matter what I do, it doesn't seem to be good enough."

Octavia blinked. She'd never thought about everything that Clarke had done in order to keep them alive and as relative safe as she had. Octavia had only seen the aftermath, the death, the destruction and she, like so many others, blamed Clarke for it all. She knew that Raven gave Abby a hard time about things just like she had Clarke, but she never knew about the hauntings and the guilt that Clarke carried. To hear it now, it all made sense. It explained why she ran after the Mountain. It explained why she stayed in Polis no matter what Bellamy or her mother asked of her. Clarke was always playing the long game. She smirked at that, because she remembered that Clarke and Wells had talked politics like a game of chess. She nodded as she decided that she would need Kane to teach her. Politics weren't her strong suit and she would need to get better in order to make sure that the bunker survive.

"Octavia became one of my best friends. Raven the other, especially after Wells' death, but I feel like I failed them all. You and Raven are in space and Octavia and my mother are sealed in the bunker, under all that ruble in Polis. And, I...I am alone here in Eden. I have Madi, but I can only tell her so much. She is a child. I can't burden her with my issues, my failures, and the things that haunt me in the night. I can't let her dreams be plagued by all the faces and names of those who died just so that we could live.

"Maybe Mom was right. In the end, there are no good guys. It's only us and them. There is no black and white no matter how much we want to believe, but so many different shades of gray. Bell...I'm sorry. I'm sorry for so many things when it come to you and Octavia," Clarke said and then scoffed. "I'm sorry for things about Raven, Wells, and Finn. I wish that I knew more than I did. I wish that I had acted faster. I wish that I could have stopped so much, but I am just one person. And, just like so many other leaders, I bear it so they don't have to. I get why Jaha said that. I get so much of what he did. I get it, but that doesn't mean that I forgive him. How can I? He is the reason that my father is dead. But, I can say that I don't hate him anymore. I understand him.

"Taking care of Madi, putting the people first over my own needs...it changes things. It changed everything. Lexa gave me an out. She tried to make me be selfish and stay with her, Bell, and by the gods, I wanted to, so bad. But, I couldn't leave all of you. I couldn't sacrifice all of you just for my happiness. I would give anything to give Octavia back Lincoln and destroy Pike before he and you massacred all those people. I would give anything to have stopped the Grounders from attacking our little camp. I would have changed so much if I had known so much more.

"I think that is part of our problem. Well, ours, not really Octavia's, because damn, she figured things out quickly on the ground. But, then again, she had to. She's always had to learn to adapt and survive. She's never been able to just live as she's wanted, but here...here she found things that she wanted to live for. She found things that defined her and made her who she is and who she wants to be. She bucked the system and spit on the moniker of 'girl beneath the floor.' And, damn, I wish I could have done that. But, I was always seen as one of the elite and when we landed, I stepped up in order to find things. My mother warned me not to, but I refused to let us go hungry and starve. We all fell and then we fell into our roles. But, you, Bell, you've always been the protective older brother. Don't stop that. We'll need that when you come back down, because I think that you temper us both in a way that no one else can.

"Octavia will be okay. She has to be. She is our hope of survival now, Bell and we have to let her thrive. It is her time to shine. And, no matter how much we don't agree with her being their leader without us there, she is. We can't do anything about it. We have to believe that she'll surround herself with people that will temper her. She's got Kane and Mom. She's got Indra. Hopefully, she has Niylah, too.

"God, I miss you all," Clarke stated.

Octavia could hear something in the background. There was some definite russling and a few words of broken Trig thrown around in Clarke's voice. She could hear Madi in the back repeating something over and over and Clarke finally agreeing with her in a laughingly said _"Sha."_

"I'll talk to you tomorrow. Remember not to feel bad for leaving me behind, Bell. It was my decision. I just wish that I could actually talk to you and know that you made it."

The radio went silent and Octavia stared at it. Clarke cared. She was worried. To hear that Clarke that was sorry about TonDC and the others got to Octavia. She believed that Clarke just ran around and did things as she pleased some of the time. She hadn't really realized that she'd lost just as much if not more than the rest of them had. They were so similar but also so different. Clarke didn't seek forgiveness for what she'd done. She was seeking understanding. She didn't believe that she deserved forgiveness and she'd come to terms with that. She wasn't exactly at peace, but she had come to terms with it. And, Octavia agreed that she could understand and not forget. She'd never forget and maybe in time the anger and the hatred would dissipate and turn to forgiveness, but for now, she'd settled for understanding. Because understanding would give her comfort in knowing that she was doing the best she could in the bunker.

And, knowledge would help her. She needed to learn more about the customs and rituals of the different clans. And, she knew the best place to do. She gathered herself up and made her way to the classroom. She found Gaia there alone.

"_Blodreina,"_ Gaia stated as she nodded at her.

"I want you to teach me about the clans."

"_Sha, Blodreina._"

"We'll start with _Sangedakru."_

Gaia nodded. She moved around the room and pulled something out of box. She walked back over to Octavia and handed her the pauldron with the blue cloth. It was Clarke's. It was _Wanheda's._ It was the pauldron of _heda's sekkon._

_"_You will have to choose someone," Gaia told her as she took it.

"Not today. Not today. We have time, but it doesn't have to be today."


	15. Chapter 15

**Chapter 15**

Octavia stood in front of everyone. Cooper was just behind her on the left. Clarke was on her right. She could see Bellamy in the crowd. She knew that Miller and some of the other guards were just behind and to her left and Clarke's right. They were protected. She could see the guards up on the buildings, acting as lookouts and surveying the crowd, making sure that no one decided tonight would be a good time to start another coup. They were mourning but she knew that wouldn't stop some of them.

She knew that there were still a few factions that would love to depose her. She wasn't a fool. And, she knew with Clarke's return that some of them would be more willing to make a move. She also knew that Clarke knew it as well. It was one of the reasons that she had been including Clarke on their conversations and plans now that the bunker was open. Indra didn't take offense to either, which was good. Indra was her High General, but Clarke was _Wanheda._ It was title that even Indra wouldn't dare to question. Lexa hadn't either. She'd been smart and made sure to get Clarke on her side. Octavia was just as smart and she had Indra's support. For now, that was all she felt that she needed.

She needed to make the people know that Clarke was with them and that she was with Octavia as well. What she was about to do was going to be a surprise to Clarke and definitely to Bellamy, but it needed to be done. _Wanheda_ was needed in order to take back the valley. She looked over at the blonde and saw the fire in her blue eyes. She couldn't help the crooked grin that crossed her face, because she knew that no one ever pissed Clarke off and survived...intact. And, she needed that ruthlessness on her side and not aimed at her. She knew that Clarke had every right to turn from her, but Octavia was giving her an army. Octavia was willing to die for Madi and Clarke wasn't going to waste that, not even for her own pride.

She walked a step or two towards Clarke and leaned over. She could smell her, the faint hint of sweat and grass. Octavia closed her eyes and dreamed of lying in the grass beside her in Eden, the faroff sounds of Madi and Ethan laughing as they sparred nearby, and the warmth of the sun surrounding them on a new day.

"O?" Clarke whispered in question.

Her eyes flew open and she could tell that Clarke was worried about her. She felt fine. She felt perfect. She had everything that she wanted again. Well, everything except Abby, Kane and Eden, but she had plans to fix that. She wasn't about to let them corrupt her dream. She'd been in that bunker dreaming of the lands that Clarke described sometimes in such painstaking detail that she could taste the sweet air after the rain, she could feel the coolness of the waters after the snows melted and ran into their little watering hole, she could see all the vibrant colors that would punctuate her former gray existence. She dreamed of the berries that grew near their hunting grounds. She salivated over the thoughts of eating a vulture for the first time. There was so much promise out there that she wasn't willing to give up the dream because some bitch from before the bombs thought that she owned the Earth.

"I'm fine," Octavia answered as she hardened her features.

She turned to face the crowd before them. They were on the a platform of sorts and looking down to all the survivors. They were _Wonkru._

Octavia stood straighter. She squared her shoulders and took a deep breath. She leaned back towards Clarke, who was standing there with her, and then turned to acknowledge Indra and Gaia's positions on her left. Cooper had taken a few steps back and let others come forward. When Octavia met her eyes, she saw Miller and other guards as they moved around the platform and protected their charges.

She walked to the edge of the platform and raised her hands. The crowd went silent and they all turned to look at their leader. She could feel Clarke's eyes on her. She looked around the crowd and saw a leader from the former _Sangedakru _standing near the front and holding a baby. Octavia dropped her hands as her eyes met the former leader.

"We are here today to mourn those we lost last night when we were attacked. I stand before you to let you know that they will be avenged and we will not take this lightly. They not only attacked me but all of _Wonkru. _They took our doctor and one of our teachers. They are members of our council and we will find a way to get them back."

The people cheered. They believed that _Blodreina_ would defend them. They believed that she would bring back _jus drein jus down._ It was simple. She was very strict in her rules and she was ruthless in her execution. She had proven herself in the bunker. She'd lead them out. She'd made them all survive.

She nodded at Cooper, who moved off the platform and got together with some of the other members from the farm. Clarke watched as pieces of a ration bar were handed out to everyone in the crowd. She didn't know what was going on, but Cooper walked up to Octavia and handed her a big piece of ration. Octavia turned and broke the ration up into a few pieces. She made sure to make a show of it. She turned back to the other people on the platform. Indra and Gaia moved closer to Octavia. Cooper was still standing just beside her. Octavia turned to Clarke and waved her forward.

She took the broken pieces and passed one to Indra. Indra took her piece and raised it. Octavia handed the next piece to Gaia. She did the same as her mother. Cooper took a piece and did the same. Octavia stopped in front of Clarke with the last two pieces. She questioned the blonde with her eyes and Clarke gave her a quick, imperceivable nod. Handing Clarke one of the last pieces, she turned to the crowd and saw Clarke standing beside her with her piece held aloft like the rest on the platform. Octavia held her piece up in the air and then shouted, "_Omon gon oson!"_

The crowd shouted it back to her. As one, they ate the ration bar. After Octavia finished her piece, she raised her both her arms and shouted again, "_Omon gon oson!."_

Clarke was amazed by the pageantry of it all. Gaia stepped forward and began to speak to the crowd in Trig. Clarke listened to every word, enraptured by the stories and the ritual of it all. Octavia had bonded them not in life but also death. She blended all their burial rituals into one. Each clan was represented regardless of which clan had lost a member. She knew that Octavia was hurting due to the loss of Wayne, but he wasn't the only one that was killed as Diyoza ran away.

"They have not died in vain. They have given their lives so we may live. They have given us life and we will thank them for that," Octavia told them.

She heard the murmurs in the crowd. She knew that they wanted blood. She could see it in their eyes. Years of tradition wouldn't be broken over night. She'd been attacked and guards had perished in protecting her. _Wonkru _wanted war and they deserved it. She knew this, but she wanted to be smart about it. She needed to be smart about it. She didn't want to lead them all into their deaths.

"We are one and we are many. We fight as one. We survive as one. We live as one. We are _Wonkru. Omon gon oson!"_

There were shouts of "_Omon gon oson!" _throughout the crowd. She saw the determination, fear, and hatred in all their eyes. She needed to keep them united and she knew that she needed them to know that they were going to war. She also needed to protect the bunker. Things might take a while and she didn't want the people to suffer. She knew that the army was ready to march, but they needed to be completely prepared. She didn't doubt that Diyoza didn't have eyes on them. They needed to find a way to get to Eden and take it with the most amount of men that she could.

"We've survived in that bunker for six years," Octavia started.

She looked around as everyone was giving her their full attention.

"We've bled. We've starved. We've fought for a common goal. And, we will continue to do that. I am not going to let someone take from us what is ours. _Wanheda_ has been living in Eden. She knows the best way there. Tonight there will be a council between _Wanheda, _myself, the generals, and my captains. We will discuss the best way to take back what is ours and defend it as necessary. But, as we do that, we need those who aren't part of the army to continue with your work. It is important that the bunker remains. We might have need of it still," Octavia told them.

She paused there. She let her words sink in. She knew that they weren't happy about keeping the bunker active and she knew why. She heard the grumbles.

"I know that you are worried. We aren't going to be slaves to the bunker anymore, but for now, it is our shelter. It is our source of water and food. We cannot abandon that. We won't. We will march for Eden soon. We will have our vengeance and we will find our new home. But, the young will stay here. Those who are not part of the army will stay with them. A platoon of warriors, hand selected will stay back as well. Everyone will be protected. I will not leave you unguarded. We have to be careful in our advance. Those we are fighting aren't like us. They have no honor. They don't respect our ways. They believe they know better than we do. They think that they are better than _Wanheda._ And, we all know that is a lie."

She felt Clarke shift beside her.

"We have something they don't."

"What's that?" someone shouted from the crowd.

"Knowledge," she answered. "We have _Wanheda. _We have people in Eden. We also know this Earth more than they do. They come from the time before the bombs. They are murders, thieves, criminals. We are the survivors, the descendents of those that sent them away for what they did. And, we will send them away again."

"To where?" Clarke asked. "In six years, I never found anywhere else that was habitable."

"That isn't our worry, Clarke. Ours is caring for Eden. If there are those among those criminals who want to join us, we will test them and allow it. They will have to prove themselves loyal to _Wonkru. _We can't survive any other way. You said so yourself. We survive together or we die apart."

Clarke just nodded. Octavia knew that it wasn't what Clarke wanted to hear, but she knew that Clarke understood her reasoning. They couldn't harbor anyone that could be a threat to _Wonkru. _

"Light the fires for the dead tonight. Mourn them. Celebrate them. Scouts make sure that Polis is guarded and Diyoza hasn't left anyone behind. Tonight we rest. Tonight we plan. Tonight we mourn those we lost. Tomorrow...tomorrow we march!" Octavia shouted.

The masses called back for their _Osleya, _their _Blodreina _and their _Wanheda. _She knew that they believed that they would win this. She hoped that they could. She knew that she was going to cross a very dangerous desert with very little, only to do battle with a very heavily gunned criminal faction, and hope to win back their "promised land." It was going to bloody and it was going to put them out in the open too long. Seven days across the desert let Diyoza use them for target practice with her ship. She could only hope that they really got some hope from those that were with her now. She knew that she couldn't call Abby, Kane, Raven or Murphy to help her without tipping her hand. No, they needed an inside man and they needed someone that would look like a traitor to the people. She needed someone that she thought was tough enough to handle the job, but she wasn't willing to dispose of anyone of her guards. And, she didn't dare send one of her generals or captains. They would act without cause and cause a much bigger problem. No, she needed someone with finesse and stealth. Too bad the only two people that she could think of that could pull it off were herself and Clarke.

Octavia had wanted to make more a presentation, but she didn't feel that Clarke was ready. She could see the worry and the trepidation in the blonde's eyes. She wasn't just worried about her mother and Kane. She wasn't just worried about their friends that were being held as collateral. She wasn't just worried about Madi. She was about worried about Octavia's mental state and Octavia knew it. She wished that there was someway to make her understand that she was sane but very, very angry.

She waved off everyone as she headed towards the bunker again. She would retreat into the office until she held her war council. She turned just before the tunnel and looked at Cooper.

"Make sure that generals and captains are ready," she commanded.

Cooper beat her breast, muttered a quick _"Sha, Blodreina,_" and ran off to do as she was told.

With her eyes, she told Miller what she needed and he nodded. She noted that Clarke wasn't even aware that she was guarded and she was glad. She watched as four men silently followed her. Indra noticed and cocked an eyebrow at her. With a quick shake of her head and a returned eyebrow, Indra just nodded in approval and went about her business in Fallen Polis. Octavia knew that her head general would begin sweeping the city for stragglers and places to start looking for gear. She knew that they already started, but now that Diyoza had made her move, things needed to be redone to make sure that the criminals didn't booby trap or sabotage anything.

Rolling her neck, she entered the tunnel. She could hear Gia following behind her, quickly. She knew that the young priestess and teacher was wondering when Octavia would present the armor to Clarke and return her to her former status as not only _Wanheda_, but the Commander's right hand. She would need a sign of loyalty before the masses for them to understand that Clarke wasn't there to usurp her, but to help her lead and win back Eden. Once they were in the valley, she would become Chief Councilor or some other title. She would be equal to Octavia.

"Octavia?" Clarke's voice called through the corridor as they neared the office.

Miller and the other guards had surrounded them all, keeping Gia and Octavia in their center. Clarke just burst through them like she always had and it made Octavia smile.

"Somethings never change," she whispered.

Miller smirked, but quickly schooled her features when he realized that Octavia had caught him. She nodded and smirked back. Knowing glances between them allowed Clarke to move amongst the guard with no reservation, whether she knew it or not. Gia saw this and she knew that Octavia was going to elevate Clarke's status. She was a night blood and she survived on the surface during the radiation. Octavia watched as Gia began to spin tales in her mind of the new line of _Hedas_ to come.

"_Sha, Wanheda?"_ Octavia finally answered as Clarke was finally upon them.

"That's it?"

"What's it?"

"You promise war, eat a ration and plan a council meeting?"

"What would you have me do?" Octavia asked her. "The armies are all ready to go. We've got a general plan on where to march to and what we want to do when we get there. Would you have us leave now?"

"Yes!"

"We will leave soon enough. We will take back the Valley, Clarke. There is nothing to worry about."

"There is plenty to worry about," Clarke stated.

"Such as?"

"The glass in the sand?"

"You've told us about it and precautions have been made," Gaia stated.

"There is no water between here and there and it is at least a seven day march," Clarke added.

"We know."

Octavia whirled around on her entourage. She didn't say anything as Clarke just bypassed everyone and moved towards the couch. Octavia smiled at her and then turned around back to Gia and the guards. She wanted to talk to Clarke alone. She wanted to discuss the paldron with her. She needed to. They needed to discuss the importance of her joining _Wonkru _officially. She needed to make her understand the history and the legends of the _Wanheda_s before her and what some of the people would expect of her now that she was back and agreeing to lead them into battle and back to the Valley, back to Eden, back to life on the ground again.

"Leave us!" Octavia commanded.

Those that were still with them, especially Gaia, bristled at the command. Octavia had been softer in the recent weeks, so seeing her like this wasn't new, just recently unexpected. Clarke even looked surprised at the venom in Octavia's voice.

The blonde studied her once friend and ally. Octavia looked like she bore the weight of the world on her shoulders, and in a way she did, but Clarke understood it. She knew the pressure and the pain that came from leading. Octavia hadn't asked for the position. She fought for the right to the bunker and in the end, she saw that she had to step up or let everyone get trampled by the same mentality that got them in the bunker to begin with. Clarke and Octavia had butted heads over it, but now, she could see that Octavia was still battling the oppression that made her once the "Girl under the floor."

"We need to talk," Octavia stated as she moved across the office to the couch.

She sat down on the opposite end from Clarke. Tension filled her body. She looked over at the blonde. There was so much that she wanted to say and so much that she wanted to do, but she knew that now wasn't the time. They had a war to fight and win. She could tell her about the rest of it all later. Now, the plans had to be cemented. Having an idea what they were going to do would only get them so far and Octavia wasn't a fool. She knew that a good plan would give them the best possible outcome and she was looking for minimal loss. She knew that Clarke wouldn't accept a single loss, but she wasn't that pragmatic. She knew that people were going to die and she knew that Clarke would hate it. Times changed and she knew that Clarke wasn't as optimistic as she once was.

"What about?" Clarke asked as she looked deeply into Octavia's green eyes.

"Are you sure that you are ready to lead them into battle, Clarke?"

"Are you not?"

"No, I'm not. I know I am not. I've been their leader here in the bunker for over six years. They fear me."

"They worship you, O. You don't see how they look at you. To them you are just as mystical as Lexa was," Clarke stated.

"That may be true, but you are a goddess to them as well. _Wanheda _the great and powerful, slayer of the mountain, defender of the last _Heda Leksa, _survivor of _Praimfaya, _new _natbleda, _should I go on? What do you think they are going to do with Madi when they find out that she isn't only your foundling but also a night blood? They will make her a princess, Clarke and we both know it," Octavia told her.

"I know."

"And, what do you want to do about it?" Octavia asked her.

"I want to protect her."

"Then?"

"Can we not deal with this now?"

"No, I need to know how you are going to handle this because my life depends on it," Octavia stated.

"What does that mean?"

"Do you not think that the people wouldn't usurp me and place your or Madi on my chair and call you queen? Because we both know that they will. They are still so hung up on their legends of the black blood that they will see Madi as Lexa's successor. They will claim that she was reborn in Madi and that was why she was given to you to guard and raise. You are _Wanheda, _the Commander of Death and that you bowed to Lexa, swearing allegiance to her and the coalition."

"You want me to swear to you?"

"I want you to do what you feel your must, but you are _Wanheda. _The people will follow you regardless. They follow me because Indra does. Gaia tolerates me for her own needs and wants. If she found out about Madi, she'd..."

"Claim her as the next _Heda _and begin the legacy again," Clarke finished for her.

"Do you want her ruling at her age?"

"No."

"Then, what are we going to do, _Wanheda?" _Octavia asked her.

"I guess that I will have to submit to the rule of _Blodreina,_" Clarke answered.

Octavia leaned back into the couch and sank into the cushions. It wasn't what she wanted. She wanted Clarke at her side.

"I don't want you to submit. You bow to no one, Clarke. You never have and you never will."

"I bowed to Lexa," Clarke said quietly.

"That was different," Octavia countered.

"How?"

"You loved her," Octavia answered with a little emotion in her voice.

She'd hoped to hide it better, but she turned away and finally just stood up. This was why she didn't want to talk to Clarke, but she knew that it needed to be done. They needed to present a united front to the people.

"O?" Clarke asked as she got up and walked over to where Octavia was pacing.

Octavia turned around on her, not realizing that Clarke had moved. She wasn't expecting Clarke to be so close, to smell the rain and summer breeze still clinging to her. She took a deep breath and then a step back.

"You don't understand, Clarke. You can't. You weren't in here with us."

"Then explain it. Make me understand. Tell me what I need to know," Clarke demanded.

There was a knock on the door. She knew that it was Miller. He would wait until she addressed it, if she decided to address it at all. She yelled and Miller popped his head in the door.

"Bell wants to see you both," he told her.

"I am not to be disturbed. I will see him after dinner and not before. I do not move on his whims any more, Miller. Remind him of that," she answered.

He nodded, closed the door, and she heard the yelling. She knew there was a small scuffle because she could hear it. One of them hit the door and she just shook her head.

"You going to stop that?" Clarke asked her.

"No, Bellamy needs to learn his place."

"He's your brother, O," Clarke stated.

"That doesn't mean that he is in charge of anything down here. He needs to learn that. This isn't the Go-Sci Ring. This is _Wonkru_ and he isn't part of it."

"At least, no yet, right?" Clarke questioned.

"That is entirely up to him, Clarke. I won't force him, but he needs to watch how he acts towards me. Miller will stop him, others...others might kill him for doning something stupid. I don't want that, but I can't control his actions or theirs. He needs to learn to go with the flow or get out of the way. I can't protect him and still be _Blodreina._ The people would see it as a favoritism and I don't have any favorites," Octavia told her.

"What about me?"

"What about you?"

"You've given me more leeway."

"You are _Wanheda. _That is different. To not listen to you would be considered to some as sacrilege. To others, not killing you causes them stress. I can't win with you, just like Lexa couldn't. Making you my equal and raising you up in the eyes of the people will help with that some," Octavia said as she moved around the office looking for something to show her.

"How are you going to do that?"

"I'm going to use their legends against them," Octavia answered as she pulled out a huge book with scribblings in it.


	16. Chapter 16

**Chapter 16**

**Three Hundred Forty-Seven days after ****_Praimfaya_**

Octavia sat at her desk looking at the volume before her. It was from some hidden stash that Gaia had given her. Why she'd never seen it before now, Octavia didn't care. This was teaching her more than the leaders of the different clans could. She couldn't believe that Lexa had it commissioned, but she was glad that she did. She knew that Lexa valued all education, no matter if it was for battle or not, and she could guess that the next _Heda _would use this volume in order to help them rule the _Kongeda _and keep the coalition together for the betterment of them all. Now, it was her favorite book in the entire bunker and she demanded to keep it close. Gaia seemed upset by that, but when she learned that Octavia was keeping it in her private collection in the office, she backed down. It was like the priestess realized that Octavia was using it for its intended purpose.

Octavia was very protective of it as well. She only showed Indra the book and only the parts that had to deal with _Trigeda_ legends and laws. She could see the influence that Lexa's upbringing as a daughter of _Trigeda _and Anya's heavy handed teaching in it. There was also a very heavy handed influence from Titus and the other _Flamkepas_. She loved seeing Indra's faces as she heard the tales. It was interesting to see the hardened, battle-tested general giddy at the legends of heroes past and myths of their creation and future as part of the _Kongeda._

And, that was what interested Octavia the most. The legends and myths that pertained to the future of the clans. Lexa seemed intrigued by them as well. She noticed that the script changed near the end of the volume and realized that it was actually in Lexa's hand. She knew only the highest of officers and warriors were taught to read and write. As a _natblida, _they were all taught. Lincoln learned from studying things around him, but he was also a spy for Anya and Lexa, so...

She shook her head. She didn't need to think about Lincoln right now. She needed to focus on the volume before her and the legends of those who would not only save the people from some sort of horrendous and Earth-shattering catastrophe, but the legend of how the twelve clans were formed.

"They broke after the bunker fell," Octavia mused.

"Hmm?"

"The twelve clans were formed by those who survived in the bunker when the bombs hit over a hundred years ago."

"Meaning?"

"Cadogan was a fool. He built the bunker but he didn't know what was coming. He predicted the end of the world, but not how. A.L.I.E. launched the missiles to 'cure humanity of overpopulation,' but Cadogan didn't know that. He murdered Becca by burning her, but I think that was his downfall. He killed the person that actually came back to save them and the cult was born from her martyrdom."

"It was all just tales that we were told as children, Octavia. None of it was true. There would be no one to save us. We just had to learn to survive," Indra countered.

"You did, yes, but Becca came back down from the stars with the serum to make the _Natblidas. _ They weren't to lead but to survive. She didn't know how it would follow in the new generations, but seeing as you are all not black bloods and survived that the serum worked how she intended. Those that kept the black blood were seen as chosen and would have been made leaders because they were still 'touched' by the divine. The cult was born. She was dead, but her legacy remained. Someone from the Second Dawn cult had to have taken the Flame, realized what it was and took it for themselves. After testing it on other, they realized that only a black blood could carry it. They would have had to be someone from before the bombs, someone with a lot of tech knowledge and someone that followed Cadogan, but realized that he was going to lead them all to their deaths for killing Becca."

"So, this person does what?"

"Takes the Flame. Kills Cadogan and uses the remaining members to set up the cult further for the Flame. He becomes the first true _Heda. _Realizing that they need to spread out and recolonize, he picks his twelve best followers. They break up and spread out from Polis. The cult breaks apart into clans. The clans become centralized and after a few years things move toward what you know. Legends are corrupted and used to teach the clans that they are the best and why. No one remembers the truth. The children are taught war and survival. There is no other way for the people. Survival is the religion of the clans and how they get to it doesn't matter as long as each clan survives. But the radiation hasn't complete abetted. People are born deformed. They are deemed unworthy and sent to the wastelands to die."

"Yes," Indra stated.

"All of the teachings that you believe in can be traced back to the Second Dawn cult, Indra. The legends were each altered for that clans region and beliefs, but the basic tenants all came from Second Dawn. I believe that there would have been less fighting if Becca hadn't been killed. I believe that she would saved more lives and the war the Mountain might have been averted. But, Cadogan didn't want to share the bunker or survival. Becca was a threat even though, I think that she might have been a member. She knew where to land, Indra. She knew what she was doing."

"It doesn't matter now," Indra replied.

"No, it doesn't, but it explains why everyone believes in 'blood must have blood' and 'from the ashes, we will rise.' I know that many of the people cannot read Indra, but the signs in the mess, those banners hanging, all bear the slogans and laws of the _Kongeda. "_

_"_Who was the second _Heda?"_

_"_Someone named Liam Woodson. He was from Annapolis and taught at the Naval Academy. I think Lincoln referred to the area as Nav Cad."

"Yeah, it is east of TonDC and south of Polis."

"Yes, it was. He was a teacher and a officer that fought on water. He used Second Dawns teachings along with his background to set up a colony in TonDC. But, once TonDC was settled, he went back to Polis. He stayed there until the next _Heda," _Octavia stated_._

"And, this matters because?" Indra asked.

"It does. It is just part of _Trigeda's_ origin story. They speak of Liam of the Woods and how he conquered the rivers around TonDC to settle it. He left men there and sent woman and colony was built. A battalion was formed under his direction and a group of map makers. The map makers were sent back to Polis as they graduated to be on their own. The mapmakers were sent out to relearn the landscape, but Liam warned of the other clans."

"He did. The people were all fighting to survive. Liam might have been the first leader of the _Trigeda_, but he wasn't..."

"But, he was still a member of Second Dawn. He was one of the ones to survive Cadogan's death and stepped up to lead. I am sure the others did the same with their clans. Each of them can be traced back to Polis, but their origins all begin in their clan capital. It never says where the leader was from. So, it seems to be that the _Trigeda _were the first of the Twelve Clans to form and the oldest. It would make sense that more _Natblidas _came from _Trigeda_ than any other clan. They were literally born in Polis and spread. A good number of the survivors would have stayed with Liam and his leadership. The other factions would have broken off as they got settled and figured out how to survive," Octavia explained.

"Again, how does this help us, now?" Indra asked.

"I'm learning about the myths and legends of each clan. With a shared past, as we all have, even _Skaikru,_ we can use that to bring the people together. We will blend the legends together and make them the legends of _Wonkru._"

"And, what of Gaia?"

"She is the Flamkepa and she will remain in that position, Indra. I won't take that from her. In fact, I think I have a way to use her in that position to bring us more together. Our origins unite us and our legends were cement it. I just need to figure out which parts of each legend to incorporate in order to make them wholly _Wonkru's._"

"Have fun with that, I'll be training the troops."

"I wouldn't expect anything less from you, Indra," Octavia replied with a laugh.

Indra saluted and left the room. Octavia knew that it was going to be a hard sell for the general. She didn't believe in myth and legend. She believed in what she saw and what she knew. Life was hard. She knew that. Survival was only for those who wanted to live. She knew that. Legends were just stories told to children to comfort them when their stomachs weren't full or they couldn't sleep because a parent was off fighting to protect their hunting grounds. Stories were for children, not warriors. But, she knew that the stories of the heroes and battles won taught the children how to aspire to be the best warrior that they could be. She could see it in their eyes and she knew that Indra could, too. Indra was cynical and she had every reason to be, just like Octavia did. But, Octavia turned to stories to survive and this time the stories would help the entirety of _Wonkru _to survive this bunker and recolonize the Earth when they got out.

Octavia looked at the legends from each clan. She was most interested in what she called the "Savior Series." Each clan had their own version of it and Octavia was going to find a way to spin it in her favor. She needed to do this so that they didn't all riot when they got back to the surface. But, she need more information from Gaia. As much as it pained her, she was going to need the _Flamkepa _to help her spin it to the people when she used their tales against them.

"I need to stop thinking about how I am manipulating the people to do what I want them to do. I am just using their own ways to make them see how similar they are and how we actually need each other to survive. If twelve countries can come together in space and become one people, I can find enough common ground among twelve clans to do the same in this bunker. We will have our own version on Unity Day," Octavia told herself.

She had been spending time with Gaia and learning about _Sangedakru. _They spoke of a child of the stars coming to help them and bringing a time of prosperity back to the land. No one knew who this child of the stars was, but _Sangedakru _weren't the only ones that kept looking up and hoping for salvation. Maybe the fact that Becca came from the stars was still imprinted in their long and legendary memories. She wanted to craft something that would bring the stories all together, but she didn't know what to do. Maybe she should just blend them but use some of her own imagery to add into it to honestly make it wholly part of _Wonkru._

"Hey, Bell, how are things in space?" Clarke's voice rang out through the office.

Octavia immediately stopped what she was doing. She moved across to the little desk with the radio and pulled out a journal that Niylah had found. She'd ripped out the pages that had writing on them, but she hadn't thrown them away. It was scribble from someone from Second Dawn and it mentioned Becca, but most of it was illegible to her. She was still trying, but she didn't dare show to anyone. Not yet, she didn't want them to freak out about Becca and the _Hedas._ She needed unity, not a cult of followers. She needed to bind them together, not cause something that would divide them between the faithful and those who just followed the leader blindly. It would cause strife and division. Two things that she knew that would eventually kill them all. She couldn't let it come to that. She needed...

"Madi has been telling me tales of her people," Clarke said.

Octavia stopped writing in the journal. She wanted to hear more. She wanted Clarke to tell her the stories that Madi had told her.

"She speaks of the legends of the _Natblida. _She's scared of the _Flamkepas._ She's told me that they come and take the young from the Valley. Those young never come back and are never heard from again as if they never existed. They aren't mourned. She said something about they are sent to the stars. I am not sure what it means, but she kept telling me that the stars were littered with the spirits of the warriors. They send their dead to the sky just as _Trikru_ does. I am not sure if they burn them or not, but it seems most likely. She's finally told me that was what brought her back to the village from her hiding place.

"She had been hiding since the radiation killed everyone. She stole some food and hid where her parents hid her away every time a _Flamkepa_ came to the village. It was only once a year or so, so she knew that whatever illness took the village wasn't from a war or the _Flamkepas_ as punishment for hiding her. She said that her parents told tales of villages from other clans that were devastated because they wouldn't send their _Natblidas _to the _Heda. _I am not sure that Lexa knew about this or was even aware. I doubt that she would. If that was how Titus got some of the noviates, she would have killed him for it. Destroying villages for a child... I don't want to think about it."

There was a pause. At first, Octavia thought that the thoughts of the children in Mountain were haunting her again, too much, and she couldn't continued. But, Clarke said more. Octavia was proud of her. Clarke was battling her demons and she knew that having Madi at her side was helping her with that. She had a child to care for, another life to defend and protect, but most of all, it was a way for Clarke to redeem herself with someone young enough to not understand the cruelties of the world completely.

"She keeps saying something about the Earth and Sky will unite and save us all. I have no idea what she's talking about, but she kept telling me that _Heda Leksa_ was the Earth. And, then there is something about old and new coming together and making the clans into one. I don't know what it means, but she believes that someone will come along and make the clans into one clan and not many. She doesn't know who, but they will be of the Earth.

"It's starting to snow. She wants me to gather some of it to take it out to the berry fields. I don't know why, but she seems to be very adamant about it. I'm learning more and more _Trig _everyday. She's picking up on English, but it's hard and I understand that. She's learning faster than I am, though. I've come to realize that there are just some words that don't translate. She's smart though, Bell. She reminds me of Octavia. She takes to everything so quickly. I can't wait to see you all again. I even miss Murphy and all his antics. Don't let him get to you, too much. Until tomorrow, Bellamy," Clarke said and then the radio went silent.

Octavia sat back in the chair and stared at the radio. She thought about what Clarke had said and then she racked her brain to remember what clan Madi was from. They were in a valley. Clarke mentioned it before, but she couldn't really remember what it was.

"Shallow Valley...of course," Octavia said aloud as she jumped up from the chair and ran across the office.

She didn't spare a glance at the door. She knew that Miller would knock and see if she needed something. She knew that he'd heard her cross the room heavily. She grabbed the book on the desk, the tome of the _Heda,_ and moved over the couch to sit. She wanted to be comfortable while she looked at things. Glancing at the clock, she realized that Gaia would be coming to her that day and she wouldn't be heading down to the classroom. Today was Kane's turn to teach them about the stars and how to navigate with them. It was a useful skill that they would need when they got back topside, but they had no real way to practice in the bunker. Kane was working on something for that or so he had assured Octavia. She just smiled and shook her head. He was happy teaching and she was happy that he was happy. She grabbed the tome and flipped it to the myths from Shallow Valley. She had just landed on what she thought Clarke was referencing when Gaia was admitted to the office.

"_Blodreina,_" Gaia greeted her.

"_Flamkepa,"_ Octavia replied.

"What is it that you want to know about today?"

"Tell me more about the legend of the Earth and Sky united from _Louwoda Klironkru," _Octavia stated as she turned the book around towards Gaia.

Their eyes met and held, as Octavia waited for Gaia's interpretation on the legend as a _Flamkepa. _


	17. Chapter 17

**Chapter 17**

"This is crazy, Octavia. They'll never believe any of this. How could they? These are just stories. Stories that were made up to help them feel better after the bombs. There is no savior coming for them and we both know that. Religion is dangerous. Why do you think that there wasn't one on the Ark?"

"What was that bullshit about the tree?" Octavia countered.

"Okay, so Kane's mom was a little touched and worshiped the tree, but it wasn't a religion. Not really, it was hope. That tree gave them hope that one day that they would be back on land and we did that, didn't we? We left the stars and came back to Earth. So, it was really more like a prophecy. And, I don't even want to believe that, but I can see where those from _Skaikru_ would believe it. You were the first person back on Earth from the Ark. You were the first from the stars on Earth for our people. I know that means something to most of them, but what would you have me do with that, O? Hmm? Tell them you are some savior from the stars that it going to save them all just so they'll follow you into a battle that neither of us are sure we can win?" Clarke questioned.

"No."

"Then what?"

Octavia pointed at the tome in front of her. She pointed to the story of the Earthling and the Starling. Clarke looked over Octavia's notes in the margins and wanted to laugh. She wanted to laugh, but she couldn't. She couldn't because she saw Lexa's scrawl next to it. She saw the correlations that Lexa had made from the legends and myths. She saw the same thing that Octavia had and she realized what the younger girl had come up with.

"You think that I am the Starling?"

" 'With hair the color of the sun and eyes as blue as the sky, the Starling will come...' Who else are they talking about? Because that certainly doesn't describe me. Everyone knows who are you as soon as they see your hair, Clarke. It is the one thing that makes you stand out among all the Grounders. No offense, but no one else is that blond. And, becoming the _Wanheda?_ Lexa was smart to keep you close. Others would have abused you and hurt you to get what they wanted," Octavia stated.

"Nia tried."

"And, Roan damn near succeeded," Octavia added.

"I was doing what I needed to make sure that we all survived, Octavia. I will never deny that. I did things that I am not proud of and I would do them again if it meant that as many people as we could save were saved. Wouldn't you do the same?" Clarke asked her.

"I would and I have. But, sometimes people have to die, Clarke. It takes a great leader to know that and still order people to their deaths anyway. Lexa could do it, even if it broke her heart. She wanted to stay and take the mountain, but she had to walk away to save all those Grounders inside. I know that you still feel bad about that and I can't blame you for that. I fought along side you as we took the mountain down. It wasn't until we were in the Mountain, until I heard the stories from those that survived, until we saved Lincoln, until after everything those people wouldn't change. I know that they were willing to bleed us dry just so that they could live on the surface again, Clarke. You did what you had to do in order to save forty our friends and also to save the entire Grounder world. If you hadn't pulled that lever..."

"Who knows what would have happened to us all," Clarke finished.

"We'd all be dead right now. Lexa taught you that sacrifice was sometimes necessary and it was an important lesson for you learn as our leader. It made you better. It made you look for ways to save us all with the least amount of death. And, it was after the Mountain that I realized that I forgave you. Oh, I know I still gave you shit and I plan on continuing to do so, because we both know that sometimes you think more with your heart than with your head," Octavia told her.

"Wait, what do mean you forgive me? Forgive me for what? What the hell could I have done to you while you were in the bunker?" Clarke asked her.

"I am not talking about the bunker. However, that was some underhanded, deep shit that you and Bellamy pulled with the bunker, but I think that karma beat me on that one. You ended up alone on the surface and Bell ended up on the Go-Sci ring. No, that isn't what I was talking about, Clarke. I know what drove those decisions."

"Yeah, what?"

"Fear," Octavia said plainly. "It was the same thing that lead Cooper to have her little rebellion. Fear is a monster and it breads contempt. Jaha was right in that respect. In order to maintain order, I had to give them something besides the obvious to fear. Being in the bunker scared everyone. When you came and we realized that we couldn't get out on our own, it was chaos. But, I couldn't give into the temptation to let us kill ourselves. I had to find something for them to fear more than being stuck in the bunker, so I gave them the same thing we had on the Ark: Death. If we didn't work together, we would all die together. Death is a great motivator."

"But, you forgave me?"

"Listening to you, up there, alone, with no one really but Madi, I realized that were just working with what you knew and what we had, same as me. I was doing what I knew I could do, read and fight. I had Indra and Kane on one side and your mother and Gaia on the other. They were both giving me different things. My schooling was only what I'd read in books on the Ark and what I saw of our ways of life. My real education had come on the ground. Indra basically adopted me as her daughter. She even refers to me as her _Skaigoufa. _And, I am proud of that. With the Grounders, I finally felt like I belonged. I felt like I had a real family, people who accepted me for who I was and not what they thought I should be. I didn't have to try to fit in with them. I just did. Maybe I was meant to be on the ground, Clarke, I don't know. Maybe I was meant to be a warrior. What I do know is that these people will follow me, now. I can't let them suffer for my own ego."

"Are they going to do that?"

"I am sure that it was Bellamy thinks, but no. I would die for them and they know that. Just let Lexa would have died for them on the battlefield. They knew that is why she led from the front and not the rear like so many of the clan leaders. Her armies thought more of her for that. She was willing to sacrifice herself for the greater good as she saw it. I am, too. I am willing to die for them if I knew that it would save them all. Would you?"

"Now? I don't know. Before I took in Madi, yes, I would have," Clarke answered.

"You still think with your heart," Octavia said with a quirky smile. "That is why Lexa loved you. You balanced her and she needed that. She didn't realize how much until she had you. Costia was that for her. Bellamy was that for you, but you two never..."

"No, we never did," Clarke answered quickly.

"Why not?"

"I think of him more like a brother than anything. I could never think of him as more than that because I was too worried about you and everyone else. Finn was a mistake. We were young. We thought were alone. We thought that we might die. We were sent here to die, but we didn't. We survived. We lived. We've thrived, sorta, but we've survived, Octavia. I am not the same wild eyed girl that landed with you and neither are you. We've both grown up...a lot."

"We have."

"But, that still doesn't answer why you think that I am who those legends are projecting," Clarke replied.

"One born of Earth and one born of sky. One who leads from the heart and one who leads from intuition. Together they will unit the clans and make them one. Together will save the Earth for those still on it. They will give the Earth back to man and they will make sure that man is worthy of it, again."

"They are just words, Octavia. Words can be turned into anything. We both know that. We've seen it."

"But, yet, you are born of the sky. You bear their royal blood. You have hair the color of the sun and eyes the color of the sky."

"So, what?"

"They've made me born of the Earth."

"How?" Clarke asked her as she furrowed her brow.

"I've become part of every clan. I bear a mark for all twelve surviving clans that have become _Wonkru. _When I saw the sky again for the first time in over six years, my mind raced to see the lush green of your valley. I couldn't wait to swim in the swimming hole. I couldn't wait to see the plants that you've been growing and harvesting. I still can't. But, there are things that I need to make sure happen now. Diyoza has delayed my wants, but I know that I still have to protect these people and help them survive. I know that you came to do that as well. Diyoza is now a threat to us and our people, Clarke. We can't let her have the valley just because she wills it to be that way. They will destroy it and then come for us. We are once again fighting for survival and resources. Only this time, we have the majority of people on our side."

"Our whole life has been a fight for survival and resources," Clarke stated.

"And, it always will be, Clarke. We can't stop. When we stop, we die."

"I know that. I just want peace. I want to just be for once. I am tired of looking for the next fight. In the valley, with Madi, all we had was each other. But, it was so blissfully peaceful and nice. I want that again, Octavia, but I can't guarantee it. I might be the 'Commander of Death,' but I don't know what will happen if we try to take that valley by force," Clarke told her.

"You've already sacrificed your soul so many times for us, Clarke. I know the only reason that you are doing this is because Madi is there without you. I also want you to know that the only reason that I am asking you to go with us is because you know the best route and the terrain. Clarke, I know that war...battle...isn't easy for you. It isn't for me, either, but I am not going to let them take all that land for themselves. If anyone takes it all from me, I would rather it be you," Octavia stated.

"What?"

"You've lived there. You've fought for it. You've made a home there. If anyone should have it all, it would be you. It is your land, Clarke. Eden is yours."

Clarke seemed to be taken aback by these facts. She wasn't sure why Octavia was suddenly on her side but she wasn't going to question it. She knew that Octavia was willing to give her an army just to go get Madi. She was thankful for that, but she knew that Octavia was right. She had to lead them. They didn't know the terrain. They needed her as much as she needed them.

"What are you trying to get me to do, Octavia?"

"I want you to lead from the front..." Octavia started, "with me, at my side, as the _Wanheda."_

"What does that mean for me?" Clarke questioned.

"I want you to come to the front with me. I want to give you back your pauldron. I want you to wear it. I want you by my side. I want you to lead with me, Clarke. Together will be the Earthborne and the Skyborne leaders of this new Earth. I need you beside me. I won't force you. I'm asking you to lead with me, not just here at the bunker, and on the way to Eden, but in Eden as well," Octavia answered.

"Why?"

"Do you really not know the story, Clarke?"

"What story?"

"The story of the Earthling and the Skyling that Madi told you. There are versions of it throughout all the clans, but it is the _Louwada Klironkru _version that gives the best account of it. There is more detail and more prophecy in it," Octavia told her.

Clarke cocked her eyebrow. She didn't know that Octavia would believe in such things, but she hadn't been with her for the last six years. She only knew her for a few months before everything went to shit. That was not enough time to gauge anything about anyone. She couldn't blame her for what she did to Pike, especially after Lincoln. She didn't condone it, but she understood. If she'd been anyone else, Clarke was sure that she would have killed Titus. She often wondered if she'd told Octavia about his treachery if she would have killed him. As stood, she didn't care. He was dead. So was Lexa. His death wouldn't bring Lexa back and Clarke knew that. She wanted him to live with the pain of what he did. Octavia had wanted blood for Lincoln and she got it.

"Like?"

"It is said that the Earthling is borne again of the Earth. I have no idea what that means. No one does. It is just said that the Earthling will bear the colors of the Earth. They will be born of blood and earth. The Skyling will be from the stars, born of blood and fire."

"What does that mean?" Clarke asked as she relaxed further into the couch.

"I think it means that they are warriors. Indra tells me that those are 'born in blood' have proven themselves on the battlefield and stepped up into leadership roles. Each clan has different meanings to it. But since the time of the _Hedas, _there have only been three that have managed to qualify for each of the clans definitions."

"Who?"

"Lexa was the first. She was born again as the _Heda_ and not just as _Trikru. _She was battle tested and proven. She bore the colors of the earth in her hair and eyes. And, no matter what the clans really thought of her as a leader, they respected her as a warrior until you became _Wanheda."_

"Great," Clarke replied. "And, the others, who are they?"

"You, but they believe you are the Skyling, the sky-borne. You're born in fire and blood from the Mountain, being sent to Earth, and surviving _Praifaya._ There are those who wondered about your survival, but seeing you has giving them the will to pursue the valley. You are a legend in your own right, Clarke. There is a subset of the _Heda_ cult that worships you as equal to the _Heda,_" Octavia stated as she moved to the radio.

"Who is the last?" Clarke asked her.

She didn't answer. She just stared at the wall and the radio. She knew that she met at the requirements. She'd made sure that she did. It was just another way to maintain order and keep the people in line. Learning more and more about each clan gave her the knowledge that she needed in order to use it against them. Getting the elders to make her a member of each clan took a little more, but she pulled it off. Lexa, she was told, was the only other one who had. And, because she had, she was born again of the Earth. When she turned around, she looked hurt. She was trying to hold back her emotions, but she couldn't any longer. Clarke just didn't understand.

"You don't get it, Clarke. You weren't here and I was alone. I had to find ways to keep up my own spirits. I had to do what I thought was needed in order for us all to survive," Octavia started.

"Who is it, Octavia?"

Octavia took a shuttering breath and looked at Clarke. She thought that her eyes would be able to tell Clarke what her voice could not. Clarke didn't move. She couldn't. She was pinned to the couch with Octavia's gaze. She moved more towards the radio. She knew it was because it was her retreat. She felt safer there than she did anywhere else in the bunker. Sure, she portrayed this big, badass persona and it was mostly true, but she was still broken. She still hurt. She still felt things, but she couldn't show it. Gaia had made that clear very early on. She had to hide her emotions or they would kill her. She had to be _Heda_ without really being _Heda. _Being the _Osleya_ wasn't enough for all the clans, but becoming _Blodreina _was.

"Octavia?"

"It's me, Clarke," she answered as she fell slightly into the chair at the radio desk.

Octavia still didn't turn around to face her. She felt like she couldn't. She'd thought so many things about Clarke, real and imaginary, since she'd been in that bunker, since she'd been in that office, since she'd become _Blodreina._ Now, she had to confront the legends, her feelings, and save the day. Sometimes being a warrior queen sucked.

"I'm not trying to say that we are going to save them all, but what if we were to rebuild civilization, Clarke? What if we were the leaders that took them back to Eden and rebuilt the Earth? We could help them strive for no war. We could help them use what tech we have to make things better, to fight the demon creatures that you've run into in the deserts, to start bringing the Earth back to its former glory. Would it be so bad, if it was us?" Octavia asked her.

"How long have you thought about this?" Clarke asked her.

"Around five years, give or take a few days," Octavia replied as she looked up at her.

"Why?" Clarke questioned quietly.

Octavia turned to face her.

"I'm not asking for you to kneel before me, Clarke. I never would. You have to know that," Octavia stated as she took a few steps towards her.

Clarke sat up a little straighter and watched her a little more closely. She could tell that Octavia was getting emotional and the more she thought about it, the more she realized that Octavia never really had a chance to break down. She couldn't as the bunker leader. When things got to bad all she had was the office. Indra would support her decisions, Gaia would push her own agenda, Kane would look for the most passive way to make things happen and her mom...Abby would have pushed for the survival of everyone that they could save by any means necessary.

"You did you talk to when you wanted to rage, Octavia?"

"In the beginning, it was Niylah."

"Was she good for you?"

"She kept me sane when no one else could, yes. But, she wasn't what I wanted, Clarke. I needed someone that would push me and give me hope. Niylah pushed me. She gave an ear. She gave me comfort, but she never really challenged me. And, in the end, I couldn't be what she wanted or needed. I know that it was a mixture of Abby, Indra and Gaia that sent her to me. She gave me books. I made her the librarian, but I couldn't do that. Not with her," Octavia explained.

"You never tried to be her lover?" Clarke asked with no hint of anger or jealousy.

"I tried, once, but..."

"But?"

"I felt like I was betraying you," Octavia answered. "Sure, she's great. She's beautiful, but she wasn't mine to have. I saved her. I made sure that she had a spot in the bunker when no one else would. She told me that you told her to stay close to me and she did. I kept her alive, but it wasn't for me, Clarke."

"Thank you for saving her," Clarke answered, but she was still studying Octavia.

There was something in her eyes, something that she hadn't seen in a very long time from the younger brunette. Her eyes kept sweeping over her, trying to figure out what it was. She knew that Octavia was as closed off as she was, but for some reason they had always been able to read each other. This was no exception. She knew that Octavia wanted to tell her something. There was something besides that damn pauldron. And, she knew that it had to with the legends and the both of them, she just couldn't put her finger on it.

Octavia took a few more steps towards Clarke and dropped her burgundy cape and pauldron to the table before the blonde. She stood there in nothing but her dark tank and dark pants. Gone was the red and burgundy coloring that _Blodreina _was always wrapped up in. There was no _Heda _red on her either. Clarke could only wonder what happened to cloth that used to be attached to the _Heda _pauldron. It didn't matter at that moment when she looked up at Octavia again. She looked younger than her twenty-four or twenty-five years. She looked like the wide-eyed girl that stepped off the drop ship over six years ago. She looked scared and Octavia didn't really do scared. She was more a take charge kind of girl, so Clarke immediately knew that something was going on with her more than what anyone had told her or the stories she'd heard about of the bunker. It had only been a few days since they'd been reunited, but Octavia was different. She wasn't so hard. She was obviously broken, just Clarke was.

"You had something that I didn't, in the beginning," Octavia told her.

"What was that?" Clarke asked as she gazed into her vibrant green eyes.

"Hope."

"Hope?"

"Yeah, even though you were searching...searching for food, shelter, any possible survivors of the Death Wave, you really didn't give up hope. Somewhere in the back of your head, you just knew that you had to make it another day, and then another, and then another. Eventually, you would be reunited with Bell and the rest of us. You had the hope that we would all be together again, even when things didn't look that way."

"I lost my hope, Octavia. I was drifting. I was lost and there were days that I hoped for death. Hunger is a bitch," Clarke stated.

"We know."

"What?"

"That's a story for another day, but you still didn't give up. Even when you..."

"Begged for death the day I found Eden?" Clarke finished for her.

"Yeah. I don't care that it was a buzzard that saved you, Clarke. I want to thank that buzzard. It woke your spirit again. It threatened your life and you are like a caged animal in that respect. You'll do what you have to do to survive, but heaven help anyone that backs you into a corner."

"They die," Clarke said quietly.

"They do, but you continue to survive. We continued to survive because of you. When you made that message about Eden, that first one...I realized that I couldn't give up. I couldn't disappoint you. I had to find my hope. I had to find a reason to keep going no matter how small and selfish it might be," Octavia explained as she moved closer to the couch where Clarke was sitting.

Clarke was still just watching her. Her blue taking in everything about Octavia in that moment. Realizing that the hardened warrior wasn't just bearing her heart but her soul. She wasn't looking for absolution. She wasn't looking for forgiveness from Clarke. She was still looking for understanding.

"I had nothing to hold on to. Everything that I loved, everything that I wanted was outside the bunker, I had only my anger to keep me warm some nights. It was lonely and it sucked, but I made it work. I found a light that kept me going."

"What are you talking about?" Clarke questioned.

"I needed a reason to stay alive, Clarke. I'd lost everything, too. I'd given up. When Jaha died, I realized that I wasn't what the people needed. I wasn't ready to lead them. I needed something, a reason, a light to guide me and help me become what they needed in order for us to survive. I knew that it wouldn't be ideal. I knew that some of the people would resist, would rebel and I couldn't blame them for it. But, I needed something..."

"Something like what?"

"A star in the night leading me to a destiny I couldn't fathom," Octavia told her.

"And, you found it?"

"I did," Octavia answered as she stood now in front of Clarke directly.

The blonde couldn't remember standing, but she was. Staring into Octavia eyes, she looked for whatever reason Octavia was talking about. She was trying to muddle through Octavia's ramblings and the legends, but nothing was really making sense to her in that moment. She was still reeling from Diyoza's expected, but unexpected betrayal, the her mother and Kane's willing sacrifice, the death of Octavia's guards, and Octavia's transformation that she couldn't fathom what Octavia was trying to tell her.

Just as suddenly as Octavia was in front of her, she dropped to her knees in front of Clarke and Clarke's eyes went wide. Her mind reeled back to a time when Lexa had done the same thing to her. But, unlike Lexa, Octavia reached for her hand and took it in her own. She held it as she looked up into Clarke's cobalt eyes.

"I found my light in you, Clarke. You gave me the reason to live. You're the reason that so many are alive today. You gave me the hope that I needed that we would survive this bunker and see each other again. You gave me the hope that I needed to foster _Wonkru_ into what it has become and now..."

"Now?" Clarke asked with a shaky voice, not trusting what she was hearing and seeing.

"I pledge them to you, _Wanheda. _I pledge my life to you, _Wanheda. _You and Madi are the only ones that could be the true leaders of _Wonkru. _You are _Wanheda_ and she could be _Heda _if you allowed it. Gaia would make her _Heda _if she could. But none of that matters if we can't take back Eden, so I am saying here, now, that you are my Commander, Clarke. Command me!"


	18. Chapter 18

**Chapter 18**

**Four hundred days after _Praimfaya_**

Niylah was standing in the mess with Indra and Gaia. She looked worriedly at them both and was shaking her head at their words. She held some books in her hands and Octavia was watching the exchange curiously. She wondered what her mentor and her priestess were up to, now. It was just about that time that all three of them looked up and over at Octavia. She cocked an eyebrow at the gesture and waited. She knew that one of them would come to her and say something, but she couldn't figure out which one it would be today.

A minute or two later one of the worker from the mess hall brought Octavia a tray of food. She thanked them and they left. She looked down at the meal. She knew that they were rationing so she wasn't surprised at the amount of food. She thought about what day it was and decided that she needed to get an inventory from the farm. She knew that the numbers were working numbers, but she wanted to stay ahead of any issues that might arise. She knew that Cooper was worried about famine and she was, too.

Niylah sat down a few minutes later with her own tray. She looked over at Octavia and smiled. Octavia smiled back.

"Would you like to come by your office later?" Niylah asked her.

Octavia cocked her eyebrow in response. She didn't know why Niylah was asking that. She knew that the other woman would come by when ever she wanted. She didn't need permission to come see Octavia and she knew that. Her question went unanswered as Octavia just studied her further.

Finally breaking her silence, Octavia asked her instead of answering her question, "What were you talking about with Indra and Gaia?"

Niylah looked like she'd been caught doing something, but then she just smiled. She should have known that Octavia would have seen them talking and would have wondered what it was about. Octavia might not seem like she was paying attention, but she always saw more than they thought she did. Niylah smiled at her.

"They were suggesting that I spend more time with you," Niylah answered truthfully.

Octavia's gaze hardened. She knew what they meant. She hoped that she didn't, but she knew she wasn't wrong.

"You mean in my bed," Octavia countered.

"Yes," Niylah replied.

"And, you would be willing to do that?"

"I am not opposed to it," Niylah answered truthfully.

"And, if I demanded it?"

"I would obey my Osleya and _Blodreina."_

"Why?" Octavia asked her.

"Because you are our leader," Niylah said like it was the most obvious answer.

Octavia just shook her head.

"I would never require that of you, Niylah. I would never force you to my bed. That is barbaric," Octavia told her.

"You wouldn't have to force me, Octavia. It would be my pleasure. I would be honored to share your bed," Niylah stated.

"That would be all you would do, then."

"You wouldn't want me to touch you?" Niylah asked her.

"No, Niylah. I care about you. I do. But, I am still mourning Lincoln. And, you...you belong with Clarke. I wouldn't deny you here and I couldn't do that to her, anyway. We are friends, even if we don't agree on everything."

"Clarke isn't here, Octavia," Niylah countered.

"That doesn't mean that I don't respect what you both had. I will not overstep my bounds with you, not until we both know that she is gone, and we have another four years for that Niylah. I know a lot can happen in that time, but I wouldn't do that. I would never ask that of you," Octavia responded.

"So you don't want my company?"

"I didn't say that I wouldn't spend time with you, Niylah. I consider you a great friend, but I will not share my body with you. If you want to share my bed, I wouldn't say no to the companionship, but if you are to report back to Indra and Gaia about my frame of mind," Octavia started.

"I'm not and even if they asked me, I would lie to them. You are the only person that I am worried about dealing with for the most part while we are in here, Octavia. You are our leader, so you are the only I care about. I know that they worry about you, but they don't know how to deal with you."

"Why do you say that?"

"You aren't Trikru. You didn't have the same upbringing that we did. They try to understand you, but you want to be like us. You're blending our cultures together, all them."

"You mean like Grounder and Skaikru," Octavia stated.

"Not only that, but all the cultures of the eleven clans. It is a big feat. And, I think that you are the only one that can do it, besides maybe Clarke. She isn't here. You are."

"That much is evident," Octavia replied.

"Then, we shouldn't have a problem," Niylah told her.

Octavia smiled at her again. She knew that Niylah was remembering the time that they spent in her father's shop as they tried to get A.L.I.E. out of Raven's head. The memory caused something dark to cross her eyes and she knew that Niylah saw it. Of course, Niylah saw it. She was one of the few that actually saw Octavia and not just _Blodreina. _It was another reason why she wouldn't betray Clarke. She'd seen Clarke below all the _Wanheda_ hype and saw the girl that was broken and just wanted to be loved. It didn't matter that Octavia was in the same boat. She was fiercely loyal and Niylah knew it. She also knew that Octavia adhered more towards Grounder Law than she did the laws of Arkadia. But, now they were both worried because Indra was obviously worried about Octavia's mental state, enough to send Niylah to her bed.

"Don't worry about them, Octavia. I know enough of what to say to keep them off your back. I'll spend a few nights in the office with you and they'll back off. The rumors will start and then they'll have to pull me away because I'm on the council," Niylah told her.

"That's why you agreed?"

"Because I knew it would fail?"

"Yes," Octavia stated.

"_Sha, Blodreina, it was. _I knew that as soon as rumors started that you were showing me your bed, the other members of the council would call it favoritism. We would both know the truth and Indra would warn me off. Gaia will probably do something foolish and announce that my sharing your bed is nothing more than an honor because I was chosen by _Blodreina _herself, even though I wasn't. No one would have to know."

"I am sure that the _Hedas _didn't have this big of a problem with it," Octavia muttered.

"I wouldn't know. I was never in Polis long enough to see anything. But, we both know from Clarke what happened with Azgeda and Costia and we both know that Titus killed Lexa because she loved Clarke. Being _Heda _meant being alone, but you've already said that the time of the _Hedas _is over. You are our leader now. There are some that would like you to have an heir and others that believe the boy is your heir."

"I've named Indra my second," Octavia reasoned.

"Being your second doesn't mean that she'd succeed you," Niylah offered. "Without a legitimate heir, if you died, there would be chaos. Gaia is trying to stabilize something, but I don't know what. She is a priestess to the Flame. If she still has it..."

"She'll be looking for the next _Natblida._"

"And, they'll automatically be your heir," Niylah stated.

"Enough. I don't want to talk about this anymore. I have some more reading that I need to do and things to do in my office. Come to my office after dinner. We'll give them a show, enough to calm them down. They are afraid that I am going to snap," Octavia told her.

"Are you?"

"Not today, it seems," Octavia replied with a smile as she stood up and left the cafeteria.

She made her way back to the office. When she got to the door, she turned to Miller. He looked at her and saw the fire in her eyes.

"No one is to disturb me but Niylah. No one. Got it?"

"_Sha, Blodreina,_" he answered.

"And tell Cooper and Abby that I want my inventories by dinner. I'll review them tonight and tomorrow we will have a council meeting after lunch," she told him as she started back into her office. "And, Miller?"

"_Sha, Blodreina?"_

_"Tell London that she is to report to you as Mess guard. Promote her. Her reviews have been good and you think that she'll be ready for Ethan, soon, sha?"_

_"When you wish it, Blodreina," _he told her.

"We'll see. I want to fight her. To train with her for a while. I want her to want it. Talk with her and her father. Make sure that they understand that she has been singled out and selected. If she doesn't want the job...we will look elsewhere," Octavia stated.

"I will speak to her personally, _Blodreina."_

_"No disturbances, Mila."_

_"SHA!"_

She closed the door without any further word. She crossed the entire office and went into her bedroom that was attached. She wanted to scream and yell. She wanted to destroy something, but she needed to prove a point. She wanted Indra to be uncomfortable. She'd seen the way that Lexa was around Clarke and vice versa. Well, she wanted Octavia to relax by taking someone to bed. Then they would see just how relaxed she could be. The thought of making Indra squirm, her former first or not, made Octavia smirk so big that she forgot how offended and put off she was about the whole situation.

She went to her bed and laid down. She ripped at the sheets and blankets, pulling them from the mattress. She knew it was petty, but she was completely blindsided that Indra and Gaia would go behind her and suggest that she needed someone to help her "relieve some tension." Indra had never said anything about the baser instincts and them needed to be relieved. She'd never spoken of love more than the fact that her husband and son and had been taken by reapers. The hardened general had never seemed to take someone to her bed after a battle. So, Octavia found it very curious that Indra had gone to Niylah about it.

She didn't need to get laid. She needed her friends. She needed to be out of the bunker. It was suffocating and endless. It was like waking up in a nightmare everyday and not being able to escape it. She would do anything to be able to talk to Raven and Clarke in person. She needed her friends and honestly, besides Niylah and Miller, she had no one in the bunker with her. It was a lonely existence, but it was Octavia was willing to deal with if it meant their survival.

She was starting to understand how much Clarke took on and how much the rest of them just didn't understand. She lay back on the bed and stared at the concrete ceiling. She honestly didn't feel like doing anything today and just be lazy. Destroying her bed had just been the beginning. She closed her eyes and then heard the squelch from the radio in the other room. Looking through the door at the desk and radio, Octavia felt her move quirk up into a smile.

She didn't realize how early in the day she actually started. It wasn't something that she minded. She knew that Cooper kept the mess hall running for long periods for each meal. It wasn't that they were worried about people eating, it was more of the fact that everyone ate. Octavia didn't make the bunker run on set shifts, but just shifts. The grounders didn't know what a clock was or how to read it. Each group found their own way to keep time. Usually she found that one the clansmen asked for a member from Skaikru to help them keep time. It was simply because there was no way to keep track of time when they couldn't see the sun. It wasn't perfect, but it was working.

She sat up. Looking around the room, she made her way back into the office and grabbed her tome of legends and myths. She was still looking into the legends and how she could spin everything in her favor. She wondered what Gaia would say about it, but she also knew that Gaia wasn't fighting her as much as she was in the beginning of making _Wonkru, Wonkru._ She was using the legends to unite them by uniting the legends. As she flipped through the pages, she heard the radio squelch again. She leaned back and waited to see what Clarke might speak about today.

"Hey, Bell. It's been a long night. Madi had nightmares. She's still young and missing the people of her village. I can't say that I blame her. She's strong but... I don't know what to do for her. I've never had a child. I've only been trying to survive and even though we've been helping each other, she looks to me for guidance. I am not sure that I am the right person for her. I wish that someone else from the village had survived. I wish one of you were here.

"To help her, I tell her stories. It's hard because she only understands so much English, but we are both getting so much better at communicating. I understand most of what she says in _Trig. _I'm trying to get her to tell me more about her village. She has told me about her village, but she doesn't want to venture too far out of the valley. I can't blame her. There is nothing much there. Here, we're safe. Here, we have resources. Here, we've got a home. Out there is nothing but uncertainty. I know that she doesn't know that, but I do. I almost died out there, Bell. I can't subject her to that in hopes that we might run into someone.

"Instead, I've started fortifying just a little bit. Not a lot and nothing to big, but just enough that if something or someone comes for us, we'll be able to defend ourselves and hide. I've found a series of caves slightly to the Northwest. We've spent part of the winter there.

"It reminds me of a place that I stayed in while I was in the woods. I've stock piled some things there. I think that I'll start teaching Madi how to shoot a gun. It won't be easy, but I've got a rifle and she can use it to hunt. She's a very adept fisher, farmer and gatherer to keep us fed. Knowing that she'll be okay to hunt on her own would make me feel better if I have to make a trip out into the desert.

"It isn't ideal, Bell, but nothing here, really is. We're growing food in a little field just outside the village. She pulls water everyday to make sure that the crops are fed. She and I both take turns fishing. She knows where to gather roots and berries. We have a drying hut for some jerky and herbs.

"I found their healer's hut and I'm trying to keep our stores up and efficient. I don't know how long it takes for the potency to dwindle. But, I've found some things that will help Mom when they get out. It is odd playing healer again, though.

"We've fought so long and so hard to just survive that fighting has become second nature. I never set out to be _Wanheda_, but I did it in order to protect us. I would do it all again and that isn't what worries me. It is how I'll react to anyone and everyone coming to live here.

"I know that sounds weird, but it's peaceful here. Madi and I are generally happy. She seems to like my stories, especially those about Octavia. I think they can sort of relate to each other. They were both hidden because of who they were. Her parents hid her as soon as they knew she was a _Natblida._ You and your mother hid Octavia beneath the floor. She loves the stories of _Skairipa_ the most though. I am not sure if I should be too worried or not."

Octavia couldn't help but smile. She knew that she'd heard it before. She wanted to meet this child.

"I wonder what she will do when she meets Octavia for real," Clarke started again.

There was another pause. Octavia tried to picture the look that Clarke was making as she looked out through the village and thought about what else she wanted to say. The pause was brief and then she heard some rapid Trig in the background as Clarke still had the mic opened on the radio. She heard Clarke laugh and then a quick, "Sha."

"Well, Bell, I got to go. Madi is demanding that we go check the far meadow for deer. So, I guess sightseeing and hunting we will go.

"I can't wait for you to come back. I want to see you all again. I actually can't wait to for Madi to actually meet Octavia. That is a reunion that I can't wait to see.

"Yes, yes, I'm coming. Until tomorrow, Bell. Stay safe and just remember to aim for the green spot when you come back. I'll be here waiting."

Octavia paced the office. Her mind was all over the place. Today was not a typical day for Clarke's broadcast and Octavia was wondering if the blond was alright. She could usually tell if Clarke was okay by her broadcast, but she was all over today. She just hoped that it didn't mean that something was wrong. She hated feeling like she couldn't get to Clarke. She decided that she would wait. There wasn't anything that she could do anyway. She would have to wait until she could get to Clarke, but she had to admit that she was anxious to meet the tiny girl that was with Clarke.

There was a knock at the door and Octavia's entire mentally switched. She crossed the room and opened the door. She found Miller standing there, cocked eyebrow, eyeing Niylah as she had a few books in her hands. Octavia simply reached out for the honey blonde's hand and pulled her into the office. Immediately, she closed the door and locked it. Niylah just smiled as they worked their way into the bedroom.


	19. Chapter 19

**Chapter 19**

Clarke just stood there and stared at Octavia. She wasn't sure what to do. Her mind was reeling. The last time that someone had sworn fealty to her it was Lexa and it was before _Skaikru_ joined the coalition. She wasn't sure how she should take this. She didn't even know if Octavia knew about it, either. But, here she was, the leader of the bunker, the leader of _Wonkru_ offering her the army and her own life in order to go save Madi. She didn't know why beyond the fact that Octavia had heard her transmissions to Bellamy. It still didn't explain Octavia's very emotional and very physical response to Clarke. She was completely baffled and on the edge of battle. She didn't believe that this would bode well, but she was getting what she needed. If she could have Octavia, then maybe it wouldn't hurt for her to support Octavia's continued claim as their leader and the belief that there were no more "true" _Natblidas. _But, there was more to it and Clarke could see it in her eyes.

She stared into the deep green eyes of Octavia and could see her soul. She was completely open. There were no walls, no lies, only truth in them. Much like Bellamy, Octavia led with her head and not her heart, but here she was, on her knees, begging almost for Clarke to command her, to use her, and she was doing it from her heart. This was almost too much for Clarke. She had no idea what to do about it. Staring at the brunette, she shook her head and reached down to make her stand up.

"Octavia, what are you doing?"

"We can save them all," Octavia replied.

"I'm not talking about that. What are you doing? What is it that you want?"

"I want you to to command me."

Clarke just shook her head and stood up. She backed away from Octavia. She was flabbergasted. She didn't understand where Octavia was completely coming from.

"What's going on? You've got an Army. I told you that I would go with you. I would help you. You've asked me to bow to you. You're their leader, not me, Octavia. I don't understand what you want from me. Do you want me to lead everything? Are you trying to give me _Wonkru?_" Clarke questioned.

Octavia stayed there. She didn't get up. She couldn't. Her heart wouldn't let her. She was worried not only about Clarke but Madi, as well. She wasn't concerned about _Wonkru_. She knew that they would survive. She knew that someone, probably someone that Miller and Indra both supported, would step up and lead them.

"We can rule them together. I've got the relationship of being their leader in the bunker. They all still look to you because you are _Wanheda._ They will still follow you, Clarke. I will follow you. I can follow you, if you'll let me."

"I don't want anyone to die. I don't want another war. I don't want us to always have to fight just to survive. There has to be more to life than all this fighting. I found it in that valley, O. I had peace. I had family. Yeah, it was lonely with just to two of us, but we were happy," Clarke told her.

Octavia stood up then. She was trying to rein in her anger, because she knew that Clarke didn't deserve it. It wasn't her fault that she had become the leader of the bunker. It wasn't Clarke's fault that she got stuck on the ground. Octavia had won the conclave to prove that _Skaikru_ had the right to survive. Clarke had gone to save Raven. Octavia knew they had a plan to survive or she wouldn't have let Bellamy go. Even now, she knew that Clarke wasn't at fault.

"I know you were happy, Clarke."

"Then, what do you honestly want from me? Tell me that. Make me believe what you say and I'll do it," Clarke told her.

"You had Madi. But, before you did, you were willing to die to save Bell and the rest. You saw it as some sort of payment for everything, your life for their survival. You even said that your recited the words before the death wave took out the communication tower. You said the words, Clarke...'_Ai gonplei ste odon.' _And, we both know that you meant it. You bore so much so that we...so that I didn't have to deal with it. You were letting that be your last act, your last redemption, your life for seven to live. Your blood for theirs," Octavia stated.

"I did."

"I know. I except that. You've done some awful things, but so have I. I survived the conclave. I might not have killed all the others in it, but I am the sole survivor of thirteen. I bore the fact that I got to dictate who would live and who would die in _Praimfaya._ They are all on me, Clarke. Man surviving will be my redemption."

And, then Clarke gave her a look of knowing. Octavia had never dealt with the amount of blood that was on her hands. She'd called for a hundred from every clan in order to save some of them all, knowing that she was sentencing the rest to a fiery death. She'd been cooped up in the bunker with eleven clans that would have been happy to kill her and set themselves on top, but Octavia fought to keep order and everyone equal. She did what she had to do in order to save as many as possible. Dying in that bunker wasn't an option. She couldn't give up. She couldn't let the bunker give up. They had to find a way to the valley to live. Without the valley, Octavia feels like she fought for nothing.

"One last battle for life?"

"Yes."

"And if you die?" Clarke asked her.

"Then my blood will be the scarifice that the Earth needed for Man to survive. I will gladly pay it. I will be one of the first to fight for that valley, Clarke. You found your peace, your happiness. You've paid for it. Trust me. I haven't," Octavia stated as she moved back across the room to the radio.

"What are you saying?"

"Do you want me to tell you how alone I was in here, Clarke?"

"What are you talking about?"

"Do you want me to tell you how it was your voice every morning that gave me a reason to keep on living? That I woke up every day in hopes that you would make a transmission, just so I would know that we would survive on the surface, to give me purpose and reason to see that door open? That I turned away every advance because I couldn't feel anything? I was numb and the only joy I had was your words. The only happiness that I found lasted some days for minutes and others an hour or so," Octavia explained.

"Octavia..."

"Do you want me to tell you how they sent Niylah to me? Do you want me to tell you how I let her warm my bed, but never my body? For six years, I was alone, Clarke. I was surrounded by people, but I was alone. My only outlet was you. I knew that I had to be better for you. I listened to every word. I begged for more. I raged when you didn't broadcast. I cried when you cried. I would have bled with you if I could. When I needed a boost, I would listen to the recordings. I suffered alone so no one else had to, Clarke. I punished myself, but it never eased the ache inside me," Octavia told her.

"O..."

"So, forgive me for wanting something better. Forgive me for wanting you by my side. Forgive me for being willing to die for the valley," Octavia told her.

She didn't wait for an answer. Octavia was done waiting. She needed to do something. She didn't care that her body wasn't ready. She didn't care that her heart was hurting. She didn't care that her head was screaming at her to wait until Clarke told them more. She couldn't wait. They had to go and they win back the valley.

She was out of the office and out the bunker before Clarke even realized what happened. Miller and Wayne found Octavia standing just on the lip of the hole in the bunker. They weren't happy that she was alone, but she was looking over the people below. They were her responsiblity. They were her people. She had to protect them, keep them safe and help them survive. That was her duty.

"_Blodreina?"_

_"Sha, Mila?"_

_"You're alone?"_

_"I'm never alone, Mila. You're my shadow. The people are always with me. I am also with him," _she answered.

"Where is _Wanheda?" _Miller asked her.

"I don't know. Where is Indra? I want us marching soon. We can no longer wait. We have to go."

"_Sha, Blodreina," _Miller replied as he nodded to Wayne.

They both knew that Wayne had run off to deliver her orders and find Indra. She waved at a few of the officers. A few hand and arm signals later, the troops were beginning to amass. She gave them all a sharp head nod and received four salutes in return.

She stepped down and towards the dilapidated town. Polis had fallen. Everything that they needed was across the desert and waiting for them. She moved quickly to a point and she knew that the men would follow her into the depths of Hell and they were about to in that desert.

Bellamy found her soon after this. He had a look in his eye and she didn't know if she was going to like what he was going to say. The closer her got to her and the more she studied him, the more she realized that she was about to be angry. Miller stayed nearby as he came up.

"O, we need to talk," he demanded.

"No, we don't. You need to tell me what to do. Well, newsflash Bellamy, you aren't in charge," she told him trying to shut him down.

"You can't just march out into the desert. You don't even know what direction to go. You don't know what's out there. And, you don't know what Diyoza will do to you."

"All valid points, but this war was started by them and I intend to end it. I know enough about what I need to know to cross the desert. I know that we have roughly seven days to get there. We have tents to battle the sandstorms. We've been preparing for this longer than you know. I will take back Eden and then we will see what happens. Until then, _Big Brother, _you need to make a decision."

"A decision?" he asked as Miller stepped up, weapon cocked and at the ready just behind Octavia's right shoulder.

Bellamy looked and realized that it wouldn't take much for Miller to shoot him. He wouldn't if his old friend would all do it. The look in his eyes gave him his answer. He took a step back and looked harder as his sister.

"Yes, Bell, a decision. You need to figure out if you are going to support me and become part of _Wonkru _or the enemy of _Wonkru. _That is what you need to do. I have a Valley to take," Octavia stated and walked away from him.

Miller followed her. He was prepared do whatever she asked of him and giving Bell the ultimatum. He would have hurt Bellamy if he had taken another step towards her. He followed her, that was his job. His job wasn't to question, but to follow orders. Octavia had saved them and got them the bunker. She kept them alive in the bunker. And, now, she would deliver them to their salvation in Eden. If he had to bleed for it, he would.

As the soldiers and warriors gather, Miller stayed by her side. It wasn't that he didn't trust them, but he didn't trust that someone wouldn't get delusions of grandeur now that they were out of the bunker. He was proud at how quickly _Wonkru _had amassed. He wasn't surprised to see Indra coming towards the front to join them. He was surprised to see Cooper, armored and ready. She'd become a good guard, but she was the head of the mess. He saw a few wagons that had hastily been made coming up in the rear and that is when he realized that it was full of food, water, extra tents and other items.

"Are we ready?" Octavia asked Miller and Indra.

"_Sha, Blodreina," _Indra told her.

Gaia joined them then. She had her own pack, like all the other warriors, and even a sword. Octavia cocked an eyebrow at her, but didn't say anything as she fell into line with them. She knew that Gaia was still the _Flaimkepa _and as such was important to the people. She'd help unite them and she was still the head of their "religion." She wasn't as powerful as Octavia, but they knew that she was an advisor to their _Osleya en Blodreina._

_"Ready, Okteiva. We march on your orders. Lead us to our new Valley," _Gaia shouted. "_Omon gon oson._"

Shouts of "_OMON GON OSON!" _filled the air. Fists beat on breasts and feet stomped out a rhythm as they started to march out of the crumbled city with a simple wave of Octavia's hand. She didn't turn back to look to see if Bellamy or Clarke were following. She didn't turn to acknowledge the crowd as they cried out for their leader and chanted their saying. She kept her eyes forward and marched.

Indra and Miller stayed beside her as they left what was left of Polis. Gaia was just off to her left, beside Indra. Cooper just behind them with the other generals and captains. The rank and file filling in as ordered and marching into the desert. None of them were sure what they were going to find. None of them were sure what they were up against, but they all knew that their Valley was at the other side of this new and desolate desert. And, they were ready to fight for it, because the fresh air and the possibility of not being in the bunker was enough motivation to face the killer sun and sands.

Octavia didn't set a relentless pace. She knew that the desert would kill them if they didn't keep things relatively easy. She knew that Cooper had planned for eight days at her request once they figured it might take seven days to get there. She didn't want surprises, but she also knew that Cooper packed more than was necessary for eight days. She liked to over plan as well and her planning of the coup got her further with Octavia than Octavia wanted to admit. They would keep this pace because she knew that it was a pace that Indra had drilled into all the warriors, which meant that Miller had in the Guards as well.

Gaia didn't regale them with tales of past warriors. She didn't use the mythology of the _Hedas _to push them either. She was actually very quiet and Octavia realized too late that she was mentally writing the legends of _Wonkru's _march for Eden. She was the last _Flaimkepa_ which meant that she was the last recorder of their history. She was essentially _Wonkru's _scribe and Octavia knew that she had been keeping logs of their history in the bunker. Her mind went to the tome still in her office. There wasn't room to add to it there, which meant that Gaia was either getting someone else to write it down or she'd been doing it herself.

"Gaia!"

_"Sha, Blodreina?" _she asked as she moved closer to Octavia.

"Have you been marking our history in book of your own?"

"_Sha, Blodreina," _Gaia answered.

"And, how will you talk about this?" Octavia questioned.

"I will tell how our great leader and our _Osleya_, the _Blodreina, _marched us to our salvation in the Valley."

"And, what would you call that valley?"

"I don't know, _Blodreina._ What should we call it? This would be your victory, so you should name it."

"It isn't my victory, Gaia. It is ours. And, Clarke has already named it. We shall the valley Eden."

"I shall remember this, _Blodreina. _We will call it Eden. But, why are you giving _Wanheda _the power of naming our new home?"

"Because Gaia, it was hers first," Octavia told her.

Gaia just nodded and realized that their conversation was over. She saluted and then fell back in line with Indra to Octavia's left. Octavia knew that Gaia was thinking about what she said about the valley being Clarke's home first. She also knew that it meant the _Flaimkepa _was going to start questioning where the great _Wanheda _was as well.

Octavia meant well in asking Clarke to go with them. She figured that the "Mama Bear" in her and the part that actually really was the feared _Wanheda _would show up and lead them across the gods forsaken desert back to the valley. But, Octavia had been wrong before when it came to Clarke. Her mind immediately went to the day that TonDC was bombed by the Mountain Men. She knew that she should go there, but she couldn't help it. Clarke always did what she wanted to for the most part, but when she did, it was always to save the most lives of those in _Skaikru._ Octavia could fault some of her decisions, but she still didn't understand why Clarke wasn't ready to take back the valley so quickly. She could only wonder if she was missing something. Now, Octavia was overthinking everything about this march. She knew how much Clarke loved the valley so she was a little upset that Clarke wasn't beside her. She knew that Clarke wanted the valley and wanted Abby back, so it didn't make sense to her.

Miller leaned forward and whispered to Octavia. She nodded quickly and realized how high the sun had gotten. It was time that they stopped and rested. She didn't want to march them to death before they even got the edge of the valley. She waved some signals to Indra and the general began barking orders. Quick tents were raised just to get out of the sun and rest for a few hours during the high heat of the day. They would continue on that night when it was cooler and possibly safer for them.

She was standing in the middle of the chaos that was her army, watching them erect the tents, mapping out an area in the desert to make a quick and makeshift base. She saw Cooper arranging mess for everyone quickly. She was proud and amazed at how quickly they were set up. Within minutes, Miller was escorting her to her tent. Her cot was already set and she sat down as he efficiently gave her an updated report on everyone and the condition of the army. Half a day in and there was nothing major had happened or was happening.

"That sounds good, Miller. Tell everyone to rest until the sun starts to break. We'll eat again and then march on until we cannot. See if we have something to make torches, the further we can march at night, the better," Octavia commanded as she relaxed further.

She looked around the tent and saw the reddish hue that the tent cast upon the desert sand. The heat was bearable, but it was still very hot. She knew that they would sweat a lot during the day while they crossed the desert. They would have plan around it because they had been in the climate controlled bunker. They were ready for to fight, conditioned to fight for long periods of times, but they hadn't been able to train for environmental conditions. It was her one regret now that they were away from the bunker, but it couldn't be helped. They needed to get to the valley before Diyoza had enough time to dig in well and defend it.

Miller left her and she laid down. She didn't know how long she was there before she was awakened by a gentle clearing of the throat. Her eyes flew open, but she wasn't worried. Her mind rushed until she realized that it had to be someone that either Miller or Wayne approved of. She was safe, but it didn't stop her hand from slipping down her body and landing on the hilt of a dagger at her waist.

"Oh, stop, Octavia, if I wanted you dead, you'd be dead," Clarke told her as she pushed on Octavia's legs until she could set down on the cot beside her.

Octavia just stared at her. Clarke handed Octavia the plate that she was holding. Octavia took it and started eating.

"Is the sun far enough down for us to continue?"

"I would think so, but that would be your call," Clarke answered.

"And, if you were leading?"

"I would start prepping torches, but not too many. Things hunt in the night and I was always lucky enough when I was in the desert to be in the Rover. It kept me off the ground, dry, and covered in the heat. I crossed it quickly enough, half a day or more, but not days at a time by foot."

"I think you're right. I already gave Miller order to prepare torches. I don't want them all marching with torches, just a few."

"At the front and the back," Clarke stated.

"Yes, and some on the side, broken up at irregular intervals. That way if someone decides to attack, they won't know exactly how many warriors we march with. We will wait some more, I think and then march."

"Should I get Miller?" Clarke asked her.

"No, not yet."

"Okay," Clarke said in reply and Octavia could tell that she was waiting for her to say something more.

"You came?"

"I did."

Silence once again overtook them. Octavia set down the plate on a crate of some sort that was being used as a table and turned to stare into her eyes. She gave Clarke a questioning look, but she was afraid to ask. She didn't want to scare the blonde, but she felt like she needed to know why Clarke finally came.

"You want to know why I am here," Clarke stated, breaking their silence.

"Yes," Octavia answered quickly.

"Because you asked me to come."

Octavia nodded and then shook her head. It couldn't be that simple. There had to be more to it than that."

"There's more, though," Octavia commented.

"There is."

"Then why?"

"Because I don't want you to die."

"You're afraid that I'm going to die?"

"Yes."

"Why?"

"Because..."

"Clarke?"

"Because you don't know what is out there, Octavia. You're storming through a very deadly desert only to face death again for a plot of green land in a valley that you've never seen. You're taking up arms to help me get my daughter and mother back, but also to make those criminals pay for the blood shed in _Wonkru._ But, deep down, I believe that there is more to it than that."

"What do you mean?" Octavia questioned.

"You listened to my broadcasts everyday, Octavia. You have a very different emotional response to that valley. You've pictured it in your head and like the stories of Moses you are leading the people out of the slavery of the bunker, through the harsh desert to the promised land. I just don't understand why? You had everything that needed in the bunker. You could rebuild Polis and start over there, still using the bunker for farming and food. But, yet, you march on desert to find this mystical valley. Why?"

"I have my reasons," Octavia answered as she stood and moved towards the tent flap in order to give the commands to break camp to her guard, hopefully it was Miller.

"Give me one. Tell me one good reason why you are willing to lead all these people to their possible death. Give me something, Octavia, because honestly I've got nothing. I can't wrap my head around it. I can't understand your motivation. If it's power you want, I won't oppose you," Clarke told her.

"It isn't power," Octavia said quickly, turning around on her.

Her eyes were dancing with passion. Her emotions were fully on her face, but Clarke just couldn't see it. Or, maybe she didn't want to see it.

"Tell what it is then?" Clarke demaded.

Octavia took a deep breath, pushed back the flap and then turned back to Clarke before answering, "It's you," and stepping out of the tent without waiting for Clarke's reply.


	20. Chapter 20

**Chapter 20**

**Seven hundred eighty-eight days after ****_Praimfaya_**

Octavia was in the small library reading some of the mythology of the Christians. She liked the old religious stories. They gave their people strength and hope. Some days, she wondered what the actual tenants were to the Grounder religion were. Reading the _Heda _Tome, as she called it, only hinted at things. She brought them together because she gave them a common cause. They didn't have a shared history, but they were making one. She gathered some of the book and headed back to her office for Clarke's broadcast. Later she would see what pieces and parts fit together with what little she knew about the Grounder's religion. She wondered if it would be a good thing to bring it back.

They had lived without traditional religions on the Ark. Bellamy taught her about Unity Day, but she didn't understand it completely because she was always in their quarters. She used the Greek and Roman mythologies to escape, to give her hope that one day she would be free of the floor. How little did she actually know and how far she had come from then. If she could only go back and tell herself, that she would escape the floor to only be imprisoned in the Skybox and finally sent back to Earth. She wondered how her teenage self would have reacted to such news.

"In peace, may you leave this shore. In love, may you find the next. Safe passage on your travels, until our final journey to the ground. May we meet again," Clarke said over the radio.

Octavia stopped moving. She wasn't sure that she was even breathing. She didn't want to know what it meant if Clarke was reciting those words into the mic. Octavia's mind was all over the place. She was wondering if Clarke was giving up, again. Had something happened to Madi? And, then Octavia realized that there was nothing that she could do. She was stuck below ground. If this was Clarke's end, she had to record it. She had to be able to give something to Abby should this be it. She looked at the radio to make sure that it was recording. She looked around the room and she couldn't take it anymore. She needed to get out of the room.

She left the radio recording and fled the office. It was the first time that she'd done it, but she turned down the volume and just left. She didn't know where she was going, but she left orders with the guard that no one was to enter until she was back. He saluted and she was gone.

She moved through the bunker with no destination in mind. It wasn't the first time that she just wandered but she was sure that it wouldn't be the last. She didn't want to upset anyone, but she needed time to herself. She needed a connection that she just didn't have and she didn't know where to find it. She knew that no one would understand her real reason for wandering. She knew that they would question her, and she couldn't afford that. It was dangerous.

She didn't know why, but then again maybe she did, but she found herself in the library. She quickly shut the door and locked it. She knew that she could be alone, truly alone in the library. No one would dare to find her there, except maybe Abby, who knew about her joy of reading. Indra might, too, but she knew better. Indra would know she was there and she would wait for Octavia to come out. She found herself between the shelves of books, on the floor, leaning up against the wall, with her knees up. She wanted to rest her head on them, but even though she was alone, she didn't want to look defeated.

"Octavia?" a voice called to her as its owner moved around the shelves to find her there.

Their eyes met and held. Octavia's green eyes looked over the woman before her. She was appraising her more than she ever had before. Hazel eyes appraised the woman before her on the floor. She moved to be closer to her, but she wasn't sure that Octavia would let her get too close.

"Niylah...I didn't know you were here."

"It is library day for the those in the lower levels."

"Can they even read?" Octavia questioned.

"A few can, like me. Some of them have been having classes with Kane and the other Skaikru teachers. I came to collect some books for them."

"Go ahead then," Octavia told her.

Niylah just nodded. She left Octavia alone, but she could tell that she was going to be asked to come to her room that night. It was just a given with the way that Octavia looked at her. She knew that sometimes Octavia needed her, needed that human interaction, that human connection that she didn't get from anyone else. Niylah didn't judge her. She gave her a form of absolution that Octavia craved and didn't know she needed without having to actually go beyond basic human contact. There was no baser connection between. Niylah never pushed her and Octavia never took anything more than spooning in bed.

She went to get her books and came back to Octavia before she left. She could see that there was something in her eyes. She felt Octavia's eyes on her as she turned to go.

"Wait."

Niylah turned around and looked at her. She knew that Octavia needed something, but she didn't know what. She knew that the books could wait. Octavia couldn't.

"Stay," Octavia begged.

Niylah sat the books down on a shelf near her and moved towards Octavia. She sat down on the floor beside her. She was close enough that her shoulder bumped Octavia's. It only took seconds for Octavia's head to rest on her shoulder.

"Do you want to talk?" Niylah asked her.

"No."

"You just want to sit?"

"For a while, yes," Octavia answered.

"Can I talk?"

"Yes."

Niylah smiled. This was a side of Octavia that many didn't see. Octavia was always hard, fierce and the warrior queen that she needed to be, but there was always something underneath it all. She was compassionate. She was loving and felt things deeply. Her bonds were stronger than most because she was so damn selective to who they were with. And, Niylah could understand that.

"I miss my father the most," Niylah started. "When we ran that outpost, we knew that we were doing as Lexa asked us to do. We were supporting all the clans and the coalition. We weren't Trikru in the trading post. We were one people. We didn't care where you were from. We would trade."

"I remember," Octavia said with the a smile.

"I still don't remember why I allowed you to give me _tek_ for clothes."

"I think it was more because Clarke was there begging for help. I was trying to do the right thing and give you something for it. A battery powered lantern wasn't enough for the crap that we put you through trying to save Raven," Octavia replied.

"Maybe it wasn't, but I got something more out of it, too."

"What?"

"Friendship."

"And eventually Clarke," Octavia added.

"Clarke was never mine to begin with Octavia and I knew that. She had already been claimed. Her heart knew it, but she was just too damn stubborn to realize it. But, like so many of us on the ground, she was lonely and she gave into her body's needs. I'll admit that I could have loved her if she let me, but I wasn't who she wanted."

"Lexa is dead."

"That doesn't mean that Clarke can just move on. You of all people should know that, Octavia. You still mourn Lincoln and he wasn't even your _houmon."_

"He would have been."

"And, you haven't selected another since him."

"I tried. I really did, but...I'm a warrior and war always finds me. He died, too. Thankfully, it wasn't by my hand, but it just could have easily have been," Octavia told her.

"How?"

"He died in the conclave for the bunker. He was representing his clan. He died protecting me," Octavia lamented.

"Do you wish sometimes that you died there?"

"I don't know. Sometimes this is all too much. I realize that I am the leader of the last of man. We are the last of the human race and somehow, the girl who was never supposed to be born, the teen that was to die for even existing, the _Skaikru _that became Indra's _sekkon, _and then became _Skairipa_ became the Red Queen, the Champion and the leader of this _joken_ bunker. Me...maybe I was born to do this. Maybe that is my destiny. Who knows?"

"Do you not believe in things like that?" Niylah asked her.

"No, not really."

"Then what do you believe in?"

"That the pointing end of a sword hurts," Octavia said mordantly.

"Well, yes, that much is true. But, is there something that you believe in?"

"Like a religion? Like the _Heda's _being supreme?"

"Yes," Niylah replied.

"No, there isn't."

"What about what you learned from Lincoln?"

"I learned that the Earth can give and take. You always have to fight to survive, but having someone beside you make the fight worth it. Living, like Clarke wanted, is nothing but a pipe dream. Life is struggle and that is all I've ever done."

Niylah shook her head. She understood that Octavia had always had a hard life. She was always fighting something. It was why Indra took her on as a _sekkon. _Octavia had been born a fighter and had been fighting ever since. She'd never known true peace and Niylah doubted that she ever would. Her mind wasn't good at being still.

"You need rest, _ai Osleya."_

"I'm sleeping," Octavia replied.

"Not well, though. I can tell. Something plagues you. What is it?"

"When I was in space, I lived under the floor in a hole. I was never allowed to leave my family's quarters. When I was found out, I was put into a jail cell in the skybox. Before they could kill me, they sent me back down to the ground to die. But, I didn't die. I lived. I loved. I lost. In months, I experienced a lifetime. And, now, what do I have to show for it? Hmm? Scars? A broken heart? My only family is gone. My adopted family is gone. I only have Indra. She is the closest thing that I have to family, but while she is proud of her _skaigoufa_, I am her leader. She cannot treat me as she wishes, nor can I. I am alone, Niylah. I have no one," Octavia stated.

"That isn't true, _Oktevia kom Wonkru._"

"Who do I have then?"

"_Ai laik hir."_

Octavia turned to face her more fully. She could see the emotion in Niylah's eyes. It had been years for both of them. They'd had no one but each other. In the bunker, they understood what other's didn't. They were the only outcasts from any clan. Niylah might have been born _Trikru_ and followed their laws and _Heda's, _but she wasn't considered _Trikru _by _Trikru. _She was clanless because her father ran the outpost. He fought for Lexa. Died for Lexa, but that didn't matter. Her loyalties were always questioned, especially after she followed Clarke back to Arkadia and stayed until after the conclave. Octavia never felt like she was really _Skaikru _or _Trikru. _She didn't have a clan to call her own except for _Wonkru._

"I know," Octavia whispered.

Niylah took her into her arms and held her. They both had to admit how good it felt to have each other. They didn't want to admit how good it felt to be next to each other, to hold each other, to feel another's skin on theirs, but it didn't matter how good it felt, Octavia would never succumb to her desires. Niylah was not hers and would never be. She was Clarke's and if Clarke and her brother survived, then she should be able to go back to Clarke without worry. But, there was more. She didn't think of Niylah in that manner and she wouldn't lead her on. The woman deserved someone that could love her. So, while they might be companions and a share a bed, they would never share their bodies.

Niylah knew these things. It was one of the reasons that she never let Indra or anyone know that they shared a carnal bed. If Indra sent her to Octavia, usually the brunette was better the next day. If they wanted to believe it was because Niylah tempered her with sex, then she would let them. Octavia never turned her away and never told them to stop. She also didn't dispel the rumors.

"Come let's go to your room. I'll take books tomorrow. It won't matter. No one knows the days of the week in here except you, Octavia," Niylah told her.

Octavia nodded. She stood, with minor help. They made their way to the door. Niylah let her unlock it. And, slowly the walked back to Octavia's office and room. With each step, they could both feel her getting tighter, more rigid, and harder. The woman that was broken was still inside, but the warrior is all the people would ever see.

As they neared the door, Octavia dug into her tight black jeans and pulled out the key to the office door. There were others waiting to speak with her. She'd lost track of time and knew that they mostly had petty complaints, but today wasn't the day. She had no mind to hear them, and she was afraid that she would snap on someone.

_"Not today. I will see no one. Get me, Mila. I will to him and no one else. I will hear complaints after midday rations, tomorrow. Now leave!" _she commanded in Trig.

Those that were on the council scattered as to not anger their leader. Her anger and the tales of what happened to get the mess hall open still resonated in the general populations' minds. She hadn't personally struck down another person, but her punishments weren't that lienanent. And, no one willingly wanted to go into the pits.

Niylah took her to the bedroom. She sat Octavia down on the bed and then went back to the door to wait for Miller. She knew that Octavia wouldn't move. Miller was there quickly. He took his orders and pulled to door behind him as he left. Niylah locked the door and went back to the bedroom. She knew that Octavia needed more rest. It didn't matter that she was sleeping, she wasn't getting quality rest. It had been days since Niylah had been with her and she wondered if she needed someone to hold her while she slept. Deciding that was what Octavia really needed, she slowly underdressed her down to a tank and panties. Slipping her under the covers, she striped down as well and joined her. Within minutes, Octavia was asleep.

When she woke it was almost dinner time. She looked at the wall and saw the time. She sat up and grabbed at her pants. She turned to Niylah still sleeping. Trying not to wake the girl, she slowly stood and grabbed a light shirt to cover her torso. Pulling it over her head, she went back into the office. She stopped in the doorway to turn back to look at Niylah, making sure she hadn't awoke in her movements. The honey blonde was still sleeping.

She sat down at the radio. Digging around in the desk, she pulled out some headphones and put them on. They were big and blocky, but she knew that she would be able to listen to Clarke without disturbing Niylah. She loaded the disc that recorded today's message and another of music that Niylah had found in the library a few days ago. It was a precaution in case Niylah awoke. She could switch the feed quickly enough that Niylah wouldn't notice.

She leaned back in the chair and stared at the wall as Clarke's voice filled her ears again.

"In peace, may you leave this shore. In love, may you find the next. Safe passage on your travels, until our final journey to the ground. May we meet again.

"I've caught myself saying it more and more lately, Bell. I can't seem to help it. Even Madi is saying it. It's broken _Gonasleng_, but she's learning. Life is still hard, but we are surviving. There is more to it than that. I'm living. There's no war or battle to prepare for. All we have to do is make sure that we have enough to eat and drink. We've cleared out a lot of the houses and other buildings and use them for storage. They'll be easy to convert later, but for now we've built up some things in preparation of you coming back. I am not sure about those from the bunker. I don't know how they'll feel about being here. I am not sure that they will stay.

"Nature is bouncing back, but it is slow. The sands thankfully haven't crept into the valley, but the valley isn't creeping out either. I fear that bringing everyone from the bunker will devastate the area if we aren't careful. I hope that Monty can do something for us. I need his brain, but for now, we grow food and I'm saving seeds. Madi shows me new things everyday.

"I'm not going to lie, though, Bellamy. It's lonely. I've only got Madi, but you've got the rest of them. I hope that you've chosen Raven to help you. She'll take care of you while I can't. That doesn't mean that you need to sleep with her again, but take care of her because she will take care of all of you. Between Raven and Monty, you'll survive almost anything that the Go-Sci ring can throw at you.

"I can only hope that you are planning to come back. You remember how cold and lonely it was up there. Don't stay. Find a way back to me, Bell. I am not sure that I can do this alone. It's been about two years on the ground and I feel like it has been ten already. I can't wait to see your faces.

"I still hope that one day the radiation or whatever that is blocking my signal will break just enough that you could hear me and respond. I just want to hear all your voices. I just need to know that you're still alive. It's selfish really though. I feel like somedays that Madi and I are all that is left of man, and when I am gone, she'll have no one.

"She's so smart, Bell. Take her in and teach her everything you can, if I am not here. And, get Octavia to teach her to fight. She really enjoys the stories I tell her about you both. She's leaning more towards Octavia, but I think that it is more a cultural thing. She's been taught to respect great warriors and there has been none greater among us than Octavia. She the hand of the leaders. She can be soft or hard, but she does the will of her leaders. That was once us, Bell. We were the head and the heart of our people. You were the head when I was the heart and vice versa, but Octavia...she was always our hands, doing things that we were afraid to do.

"But, she never understood the pressure we felt. We shielded her and the others. I know walking away after Mount Weather broke us a little. I just couldn't stay. I hope you understand that. It wasn't your forgiveness or anyone else's that I was seeking. It was my own. I had to learn to live with the fact that I sentenced them all to die. I watched what happened to them. You might have helped me pull the lever, Bell, but I was the one that ordered Monty to reverse the airflow. I was the one that made the decision. You were trying to claim some of the responsibility because you knew that I would feel it deeply. Those people helped you, they helped me, they helped us and I killed them all to save my mother. I was selfish, but in the end, it was the best thing that I could have done. Killing them freed the coalition from having to fear them. It returned all the caged people to their clans. We rescued some of the reapers and helped them to become men again. It took me a long time to realize that three hundred and fifty lives in the grand scheme of things was a small number compared to how many they had taken in the night and used against the clans. Three hundred and fifty people paid the price for their leaders' arrogance, for their own apathy to the plight of those that actually lived above ground, for their blindness to the effects of their 'treatments.' It took me a long time to realize that even though we had done something that Lexa hadn't been able to accomplish on her own and I became the _Wanheda, _that their genocide was justified. They would have died without the Grounder blood and they could never walk on the surface without _Skaikru_ marrow.

"Come back to me, Bell. Our fight is not over. We have to help all of them find peace on Earth again. Octavia will have banded them together. She'll be okay. She can handle the pressure. She has many outlets and she has the help that we never had. We came together out of necessity. Indra will help guide her, as will Kane and Mom. I just...I miss her. I miss them all. I am so close, but still so far away from them.

"I need to go check our stores of skins. Madi is teaching me to prepare pelts to make clothes. It is amazing what she has taught me, Bell. Let her teach you, too.

"May we meet again, Bell," Clarke said and then the recording when silent.

Octavia stopped the playback and backed it up just a bit. She was getting it ready to record tomorrow's message. She jumped a little when she felt a hand on her shoulder. Her fingers reached over and switched the disc to the music, just in case.

"Come back to bed, Octavia. You need more rest. We will listen to your music later. Come back to bed," Niylah urged her.

Octavia didn't answer. She just stood and followed Niylah back into the bedroom. Curling into each other, they fell back asleep not caring that they were missing dinner.


	21. Chapter 21

**Chapter 21**

There was nothing but darkness before them. The inky black of night surrounded them like a blanket and Octavia knew that she should be terrified in this new darkness, but she couldn't find it in herself to care. She looked at the column as they marched silently through the night. She was scanning the invisible horizon just like everyone else. Finally not being able to take it any longer, she told Miller to go ahead with one of the other guards and scout as well as they could. Miller agreed only because he saw Indra and Gaia step closer. He wished that Wayne was there, too, but he'd been tasked to stay back with Ethan and London. More so to make sure that the teen to didn't try to follow them than a questioning of London's abilities to guard him.

The inky darkness surrounded them. She pulled the rest of the column to stop while Miller and the other guard went forward a little ways to scout. It wasn't because she didn't trust Clarke. She did. She knew that Clarke wouldn't want any of them to die, but she didn't know the desert and she didn't like the unknown. Having Clarke finally join her had raised her spirits some, but she was still very wary. She believed that she had every right to be.

She felt Indra by her side and knew that the woman was trying to lend her some of her strength. Gaia, who Indra would have her love as a sister, was quiet as she took in the darkness and the vastness of the sands that surrounded them. She knew that the priestess was trying to not only spin this in their favor, but take a history, too.

"Gaia, check in with the generals for me. I want reports. And, then stay with Clarke. She'll give you more information," Octavia told her dismissing her.

Gaia quickly saluted and nodded her head. Octavia barely made it out in the torch light. She wanted Clarke protected and knew that the priestess would take the job seriously, just like the guard that Octavia and Miller had set up for the blonde. The more the merrier, she thought. She cared for Clarke and it was showing.

"_Blodreina," _Indra addressed her.

She nodded.

_"You care for her," _Indra stated.

"Care for who?"

"_Wanheda," _Indra replied.

"Of course, I do, Indra. She was one of the original hundred that came down. There are not many of us left."

"_Forgive me for saying, but it is more than that, my kwin."_

Octavia turned to look at her. She couldn't make out much in the torch light, but she could see the truth in Indra's face. She wasn't hiding the fact that she cared for Clarke. She couldn't. She wouldn't. She knew that most grounders believed that their leaders shouldn't have too many close attachments. "Love is weakness" was their motto. Indra knew that Lexa had loved Clarke, but she never stood in their way. She warned Lexa of the attachment, but it was Titus that tried to beat it out of Lexa and then he was the one that killed Lexa in his misguided attempt to kill Clarke. He didn't see what Indra saw. Clarke made Lexa stronger. She felt more for her people and in feeling more was able to think around problems to save them all. Lexa had paved the way for them to become _Wonkru. _Her legacy lived on in that. And, now, Indra's own _sekkon _was their leader. She knew that Indra wasn't upset with her. She was curious. She wanted to know how things would play out between Octavia, her Sky daughter and the _Skaiprisa en Wanheda. _

Octavia said nothing. Her eyes betrayed her, though. She saw in the faint light, Indra nod. She knew that Indra wouldn't say anything to anyone else about it. She wouldn't betray her _Osleya en Bloreina. _Indra would silently support them as long as it benefited the people. If either of them moved against their shared survival, Indra would betray them both. Octavia knew this, but still she trusted the dark warrior with not only her life but Clarke's as well.

"She is _Wanheda. _To have her with us will ensure our victory. She is the Commander of Death. She will not allow man to die out, even if I am command of it."

"And, if she turns on you, _Blodreina?"_ Indra asked her.

"She won't," Octavia told her with a finality.

Indra nodded. She didn't say anything else as she watched Octavia move around the men a little more. She was making sure that they were still bolstered and mentally ready. She stopped and talked with a few, almost always in Trig. Indra wondered if she should check on Gaia and Clarke. Instead, she knew that Octavia needed her by her side and also that Miller might actually go off on her. She liked Miller, she liked sparring with him, but she didn't want to fight with him. They both wanted Octavia to survive and they both wanted her to do the best that she could for _Wonkru._

Octavia called for them to camp again. She wanted to wait for the scouts. She didn't know how long they had been walking through the desert, but she knew that they needed to rest. Clarke was worried about what would happen to them in the desert at night.

"HELP!" a voice called out from the desert.

They couldn't see anything, but Octavia came running towards Indra and the front of the column.

"HELP! WE NEED HELP!" the voice shouted.

This time more heard it. Clarke and Gaia came running from where they had been sitting and talking. Clarke gave Octavia a look and Octavia realized that it couldn't be good.

"It's the scouts," Indra told them as she recognized their voices.

"Miller, what is it?" Octavia demanded.

"Medic! We need help. It's Obika!" he yelled back to her.

Clarke said something about getting the med kit and ran back to her things. Octavia watched everyone around them. She made some silent gestures and the some of her officers began moving the troops to allow Miller to and the other scouts to come back with Obika. They cordoned off an area just as Clarke came back to them with her kit.

"Are we under attack?" Octavia questioned as they were positioning the injured scout.

"I don't know. I don't know what's wrong," Miller replied.

Octavia surveyed the scene and shot Indra a look. Soldiers immediately made a defensive perimeter around their hasty camp and then herself and the group. Indra watched as they silently moved, making sure that everyone was covered and ready for whatever might come at them.

"Please. Hurry. Someone help him!" Miller demanded.

Octavia knew that Obika was one of Miller close friends. He wasn't just a guard. He was also trained as a scout and he was fiercely loyal to _Wonkru.  
_

Clarke tried to help, but Cooper wouldn't let her through. Clarke might have Octavia's favor, but she didn't know if she did after their afternoon earlier. Octavia just looked at her as Obika writhed on the desert floor. He was moaning and in pain, but Cooper still wouldn't let Clarke pass. Octavia watched him, groaning and twisting in agony. They all did, but no one dared go near him. Octavia even backed away. Clarke begged to help him, but Octavia couldn't tear her eyes from the writhing man.

Finally, Clarke's voice broke through Octavia's haze and in even the torch light, she could see the worry in Clarke's blue eyes. She knew that the blonde could try to help him. She knew more about this world than they did, but still hesitated. Clarke begged again and finally, she told Cooper, "Let her in." Obika quit moving as Clarke neared him.

Clarke quickly assessed him. He was still alive, but his heart rate gave her cause for concern. Octavia looked around at those watching the scene unfold in front of them. For a split second, Indra's words took root and she thought that Clarke had betrayed her. She'd led her and those in the bunker to their death in the desert. She wanted Clarke's head for causing her people to die and then she looked into Clarke's worried, but clear, blue eyes. Clarke hadn't betrayed. She wouldn't. She'd warned her of this. She tried to stop her. She tried to make Octavia realized that there were dangers out there that she couldn't fathom and even dangers that Clarke might not know about. She tried to stop this. She tried to make them understand that things weren't like they used to be. She'd tried and not Obika was paying for Octavia's decisions.

Octavia quickly got a SITREP from Miller. She understood why Miller had split them up. The fast they could and in the right direction, the less time that they would be stuck in the unforgiving desert between them and Eden.

"There's something inside him," Clarke stated as everyone else backed away.

Octavia looked to Indra. The dark warrior nodded. A tent, her tent and another was quickly erected near where they were. They dug in quickly. They would figure this out and then move on as necessary. They would stay only as long as they had to. For now, they would rest in shifts. The camp was brought in, smaller in size, so that half could sleep while Clarke worked and Octavia planned, and the rest would be on guard duty.

Quick enough they got Obika in the tent for Clarke to begin working on him. Indra, Miller, Octavia, Bellamy and Cooper followed. Clarke had never seen anything like this during her time above ground, so she immediately started asking Miller questions. She need every scrap of information that he could possibly give her if she was going to save Obika. Indra looked worried, but Octavia shook her head. If he died, they would move on. They couldn't stop for just him. They had to keep pressing forward, for Eden. Thinking of everything that she could, Clarke wondered about the rations, but the theory was quickly dismissed because _Wonkru_ shared everything. If it had been the rations, then Miller would be suffering, too, and Miller was fine, shook up, but fine.

Bellamy found a wound on his leg. Clarke checked it and realized that whatever it was, it came from the sand. She'd never seen it, so she wasn't sure how to treat it. She looked up at Octavia and urged her for them to pack up and go back. They'd lost a day. They were losing a possible life. They had to find a better way to get to Eden. The desert just wasn't a good idea on foot. Clarke had never really crossed it on foot. She'd had the rover, and then, she almost let part of the desert just outside of Eden have her. The desert almost claimed her and she'd almost gone mad. This would be worse by the looks of Obika.

Clarke followed Octavia to her tent, leaving Bellamy in the tent with Obika and Miller. She didn't know what she was going to say, but Octavia had hardened. Seeing her like this hurt, and Clarke didn't know how to fix it.

"I want to get there, too, but this isn't the way."

"I've already said that we will move out first light, Clarke. There isn't anything else to do. Either you save him or I end his suffering in the morning. We cannot fail this mission. We have to get to Eden. We have to save Madi and Abby. I promised you that I would give you the valley back and that I would find your daughter. And, now, you're asking me to surrender, to give up and go back to that concrete prison buried under the former capital. I won't do it. I will not be 'her" again," Octavia told her.

"I'm not asking you to give up or surrender, Octavia. I never would. And, yes, I want to go to the valley to save my family. I would march from now until the end of time if I had to, but we don't know what's out there. Whatever that is, it lives in the sand. We are in its hunting grounds. How will you take back the valley with no army? How will you fight with no warriors because this thing kills them all? Because even I the great _Wanheda _can't just deliver a victory to you," Clarke stated.

Clarke shook her head at Octavia when she wouldn't answer. She didn't understand this push and pull that Octavia had with her suddenly. She couldn't wrap her mind around it, but at the heart of it all, she knew that Octavia was doing everything that she thought was right, everything that she thought would save the most people, and everything that she'd promised _Wonkru_ that she would do. She also didn't know what to say to Octavia. She didn't understand Octavia's motivation or if she did, she didn't want to believe it. When Octavia still said nothing, Clarke broke their silence.

"Do what you think you have to do Octavia. I'm going to go try and save that man. Sleep well, _Blodreina,_" she said mockingly as she left the tent, hoping for a reaction.

She got none. She huffed and left. Octavia just stood there staring at the tent sides. She didn't know what to say. Her mind was conflicted. She promised the people that valley, but now, it looked like they had no way of getting there.

The next thing that she knew, night was passing into day. She had no idea if Obika would make it through the night. She was stuck and she didn't know what to do. She wanted to talk to Clarke but she was at Obika's side. She couldn't talk to Bellamy because he just didn't understand. He thought he did, but he didn't. He felt too much and didn't know enough what it was like to sacrifice his own well-being in order for others to live. Clarke did. Indra did. Hell, Cooper did. Bellamy her thought too much.

Shouts from outside caused her to exit the tent. There was a sandstorm brewing, but it wasn't coming at them, thankfully. Unfortunately though, it was blocking their retreat back to the bunker if she called for it. Clarke said that the storms were unpredictable and they moved as fast as they wanted. It meant they were now stuck.

Obika screamed out in pain. They all ran to check on him and after Clarke gave him another once over, his stomach exploded from the parasitic worms of the desert. Octavia ordered the tent burned with everything inside it, including Obika and the worms. Fire kills. They all knew that. But, in their haste to get away from the guts and worms, Octavia was wounded somehow and worm got in her arm. She looked up from where she had fallen into the worried eyes of both Clarke and Bellamy.

Clarke rushed them into Octavia's tent. She began to do what she needed to do in order to save Octavia. She cut her arm open and pulled the fucking worm out, but while doing that they heard from Monty.

Now they knew that Diyoza had an "eye in the sky" and missiles aimed at them. He begged them to head back to the bunker. They tried to figure out where to go, but all ways to save lives meant heading into the "razorblade" sand storm. It wasn't ideal but it was better than being turned to glass by a missile in the desert wasteland.

"We are _Wonkru._ We don't retreat. We fight. We survive and we live for another day."

"What should we do, _Blodreina?" _Cooper asked.

"Abandon the tents. Let them think that we are still here. Make shields out of anything that we can. Save some tents. We'll head for the storm and wait it out."

"Like a _shilkrola?" _Indra asked.

"Yes."

"To your shields!" Indra commanded and the camp moved.

They made small mounds of men, shields surrounding those that didn't have them. Those in the middle carried all the supplies as they moved at a _shilkrola's_ pace in the storm. Octavia was surrounded by her guards. Indra had built a quick litter, which Cooper, Miller, herself and Bellamy were carrying. Clarke was beside them working on Octavia still. She feared the the worms had some sort of toxin in them.

Octavia held onto Clarke's hand and she heard Indra's voice call out over and over "Hold!" into the storm. Slow and steady steps were taken. She knew they were moving, but she was just so angry. Clarke looked worried.

"_Don't worry, Wanheda. I won't die until you tell me that I can. Don't forget that," _Octavia told her just before she passed out.

When she came to, the sun was up. They'd made it through the night. The "turtle" formation had worked. They had inched their way back, but they still had a long way to go. Octavia was awake, but her men were hurt and dehydrated. Indra was down, injured, after taking another warrior's place in order to protect her queen through the night and the storm. Clarke could see the worry on Octavia's face.

"Is it a worm?"

"No, I think she has glass in her lungs."

Miller approached and gave her an update. They'd lost twelve, including Obika. She ordered that their armor and weapons be stripped. They would leave the bodies. It wasn't ideal, but they were actually going to retreat. There was no time to deal with the bodies. The desert could have them. They would mourn them in their own right when they got back to Polis. Cooper watched horrified that she would make such and order. Octavia however was looking at Clarke as she checked and watched over Indra, much like the blonde had done for her during the night. Clarke cared. Bellamy thought too much. They balanced each other.

Octavia needed that, now more than ever. She watched Clarke. Their eyes met and she knew that they would be having another heart to heart soon.

She took a deep breath and looked around her. There were stains of blood scattered throughout the landscape. She knew that Clarke was right. They had to get back to Polis. They were being watched. She couldn't risk anymore people. Not now. They would regroup, plan again, and next time they would make it. They would take Eden. Cooper gave the orders to pack and plan to march back.

Clarke took this time to check over Octavia again. She looked at her arm. The bleeding had stopped and from what she could see there was no infection.

"Damage to the muscle should be minimal, but we'll know more in a few days."

"Thank you for saving my life," Octavia told her, but Clarke could see that it was genuine. There was thought and feeling behind it. Octavia wasn't just saying it.

Bellamy saw the change in Octavia. He realized that her quick thinking even with the everything else, that Octavia had saved them all. He thanked her for saving them all from not only missiles but the sand storm. She, then, warned him about speaking out against _Wonkru. _

Clarke looked at her again. It was the talk of fanatic, but she could see the truth in it. That was all they had in the bunker. Octavia kept them alive and she was still doing it. If she had to sacrifice Bellamy she would if it meant that her people prospered. It would hurt, but she didn't need him to rescue her anymore. She was capable of doing it herself, even if it cost her, her soul, her heart, and the one friendship that she desperately wanted to keep, rekindle and make something more of. She would to protect her people and Clarke could see it in her eyes. She realized that she'd seen that look before...in Lexa's. Everyone was expendable, even Octavia, if it meant that _Wonkru _survived.

Their silent standoff was interrupted by a sound coming from the newly formed sand dunes. Clarke stood up and started looking around. She knew that sound. She started looking all around, but the sound was bouncing off all the dunes making it hard for her to locate exactly where it was coming from. That was until the army all stood up and started pointing weapons at a break in the dunes. The next thing she knew, the Rover came through.

Madi jumped out. She didn't care about the guns or the people. She had one thing on her mind. Clarke.

She ran across the sands. When Clarke made her out, she stood up and ran towards her daughter. Octavia pushed herself up as she watched the reunion. Finally, after six years, she was seeing Madi, the other voice that she'd heard on the radio, for the first time. She'd dreamt about this moments for years, but it was never like this in her head. Never did she think that Madi would leave Eden to find them.

Monty, Harper and then Echo exited the Rover. Monty waved at them. Echo ran towards Bellamy. Octavia cocked an eyebrow at her brother as she watched horrified at her brother's choice in lover. She could tell that Clarke wasn't that enthusiastic about it, either, but she was good enough to say nothing about it, too. Echo was banished and after the night they'd had in the desert, Bellamy wasn't too sure about her safety anymore. Octavia looked at them both and simply cocked her head as her eyes met her brother's. She could tell that they would fight about this. She couldn't trust Echo. She never had. And, the fact that she was with Bellamy, who was proving to be problematic for Octavia now, didn't help anything. He would not be able to make a case for her, and Bellamy could see it in her eyes. It would have to be Monty and Harper. Hell, in Murphy, Emori and Raven, too, but for now, he would stay with Echo.

She turned from them and back to Clarke and Madi. She watched as Clarke fawned over the girl and her heart twisted. This was the girl that could take everything from her. She knew that she was nightblood, but no one else did. She could become _Heda_ and take _Wonkru._ They would follow her. And, she had Clarke. Octavia laid back in the sand. They had opened the bunker. They were free from the earth, but she'd lost everything in the process.

Clarke had been right. The desert was a wasteland that didn't care about anything or anyone. It had taken her men. It had stopped her war, for now. It was making her lose the only family she had. She could tell that even Indra and Cooper were questioning her actions. She was losing everything and part of her hated it. Part of her didn't care as long as it meant they got to Eden and Clarke and Madi were safe. That was all she wanted. She needed for them to be safe. _Wonkru _would follow them. They didn't need her anymore. They had _Wanheda en hir natblida. _They would rule together and they would all survive. Octavia had done her job. She'd kept them alive in the bunker and delivered them to the ground. She'd fulfilled her obligations to them.

Clarke pushed Madi to Bellamy and nodded at him. She walked over to Octavia and knelt down beside her. She looked in her dead in the face and could read her like a book. It was in her eyes and Octavia knew it. Her eyes would always give her away. Her face could be like steel, but it was her eyes that would betray her.

"You remind me of her," Clarke said.

"Of who?"

"Lexa."

"And?"

"You are not dying out here, Octavia. I forbid it. I command that you live. I still have need of you and so do these people. Don't you dare give up on me or them just because of all of this. We might have lost the battle, but we haven't lost the valley yet. Let's regroup and plan something else. We can do this."

"Why?"

"Because my mother and Kane are there."

"Why won't you let me die?"

"Because I have questions for you to answer."

"I've already told you, Clarke..."

"Well, maybe I need to hear it again. Maybe, I need you to explain it to me. Maybe, I need for you to show me what you are trying to say. Words are just words, Octavia. They have meaning, and lots of them. Actions, however, speak louder than words sometimes. You asked me to command you, to lead you, to help you, and that is what I am going to do. But, first, you have to get up, dust yourself off, and stop this pity party. _Skairipa __will conquer the valley. It just won't be today," _Clarke finished in _Trig, _and Octavia just nodded as she took Clarke's hand to stand.


	22. Chapter 22

**Chapter 22**

**Nine Hundred Thirteen days after _Praimfaya_**

"Gaia?" Octavia called as she entered the classroom.

"_Sha?" _Gaia answered and then quickly added more as soon as she saw it was Octavia calling her, _"What is it that I can do for you, Blodreina?"_

"I want to talk about the legends of the Starling and the Earthling."

Gaia just nodded. The classroom was empty. Gaia pointed over towards a corner. In the corner, there was mural painted. It was a tree with twelve large branches and each branch bore the symbols of each clan. There were smaller branches, but they all lead back to the tree itself. She could tell that the tree represented the relationship that Man has with the Earth. Octavia looked at the tree and smiled.

"You left off _Floukru,_" Octavia stated.

"I didn't. They are not one of the surviving _krus._ Besides the fact they were all from one of the other _krus._"

"It isn't because they were lead by the 'traitor' _natblida?" _Octavia asked her.

"If Titus was still alive, it would be. Not all of us believed that Luna was wrong in leaving. I know that it had to bear on her because she killed her own brother. She gave_ Floukru_ something that the rest of us didn't have and that was peace. Lexa pardoned her and let her join the coalition. It was the first time that she stood up to Titus and defied him and all his training."

"But, you are a _Flaimkepa,_" Octavia stated in disbelief.

"I serve the _heda _and the _natblida, Oktevia._"

"You serve me as well," Octavia challenged.

"I do, because you are the winner of the conclave. You don't have the _Flaim, _but you are still the _Osleya._ As such you are still the champion and our leader, the _Hedas _decided that you should rule until another _natblida _is born."

"Is that what you teach them?"

"No, but it what I believe," Gaia answered.

"And, if there are no my _natblidas?"_

"Then, the next _Flaimkepa _will continue to look. I doubt that Lexa was the last. And, even though Clarke created _natjus, _there might be someone that will deliver a new generation of _natblidas. _With your guidance and tutelage, they might not have to fight to the death to become _Heda."_

_"_Who is say that I won't kill them all, myself?" Octavia questioned.

"I doubt that even you would kill a child just because of their blood. I do believe that you would rewrite the laws and rules concerning all Nightbloods and the conclave, though. The people follow you. They listen. We could change it."

"You know that Lexa was opposed to it as well, right?" Octavia inquired.

"She was. We spoke on it. She silently supported Aden, though. If Titus made them fight, she hoped it would be him. And, not just because of his temperament, it was because he looked at all sides of things. He didn't believe in just two sides to everything like Titus taught. He believed that there were more ways to see things, just like Lexa. She always saw beyond what others did. She did things in preparations for something that would happen in the future. She fought battles that she knew would win the war, not just to fight them," Gaia explained.

"We call playing the long game," Octavia replied.

"Then, she was the master."

"I couldn't see it then, but I can know looking back on some of things that she'd done."

"Then even you have learned from the _Hedas."_

Octavia just nodded. She looked back at the mural on the wall. She noticed that there were two people painted. She knew that she'd given Gaia permission to use the legends and myths of the Starling and the Earthling in her teachings. She wanted to bring the people together more. She looked at the representations on the wall. The Starling always had blond hair and is always a woman. She was shown sitting on the uppermost branches and she was on branches that had no clan affiliation, but stars. Near the base of the tree, sitting on the roots of this huge tree, the Earthling was covered in what looked like brown and green leather. The sex of the Earthling wasn't discernible by the picture. The long hair was styled in braids, but it didn't lend to either sex because of how grounders dressed, wore their hair, and their warrior nature. But, this Earthling wasn't just looking up at the stars above the branches of the tree but also at the Starling. There was so much mythology in that mural, but she wasn't sure what clans' stories had lent to the mural.

"Gaia, if given the chance again, would you give Clarke the _Flaim?"_

Gaia looked at her. Shaking her head, she moved closer to the mural. She reached up and touched the blonde.

"If Clarke was to take the _Flaim, _she would have to prove herself as worthy. And, the only way she'll be able to prove that she is worthy is if she is the prophesized Starling. Do you think that she fits, _ai Osleya?_" Gaia questioned.

"I don't know. She might be. Lincoln barely had time to tell me about the myths of the people. We were always too busy to training."

"There were some that spoke of Lexa and Clarke being the Earthling and the Starling. Titus did everything that he could to squash it. He didn't believe in it. He was also a fool that pushed his own ideology. He couldn't see anything outside what he was taught. He grew up in Polis and was selected to be a _Flaimkepa_ young. He served four _hedas, Oktevia. _I think that he didn't want the legends to be true because it would mean that what he knew at _Flaimkepa_ was wrong. He believed in tradition and keeping the status quo. A lot of people supported Titus' beliefs. He wanted to keep Lexa strong and in power as long as possible."

"_Hedas _die young."

"Some of them do, but others... There have been _hedas _that have lived longer lives. That didn't mean that they were better because they survived longer."

"I understand all that, Gaia. I've never doubted that. It was same for the Chancellors on the Ark. Jaha might have been cconsidered a bad man, but he was following our laws. He knew when to err though and defy them. I didn't see that when I was younger, and I wish that he was still here with us now. He could have helped us shape this mob into something more coherent sooner, but he was right. Having a common enemy will always bring man together. That isn't what I'm looking for her, Gaia. We already know what our enemy is. It is death and we fight against it every day. But, we know that we have a greater enemy than death and that is life. We don't know what life will be like back on the surface. We are still training for war, but the honest gods truth is Gaia, we have no fucking clue what is up there. We hope that it will be the same, but odds are that it won't. What we will do then? We will do what we've always done. We will adapt. We will overcome and we will survive," Octavia told her.

Gaia couldn't help but understand her sentiment. On some levels, she wished that Octavia would somehow develop the night blood while they were in the bunker. She knew that it wasn't possible. Only the gods knew who was worthy of the blood. They selected them at birth. She knew that in some families it selected one child but not another. No one on Earth knew why the _natjus_ was so selective. It didn't matter, only having it did.

"No one from the _Skai _ever had _natjus?" _

"No, they didn't. It wasn't needed. Becca _Praimheda _designed the black blood. That was what Clarke was trying to do. She was trying to save us all from the Death Wave. If we had the _natjus, _we would have been able to survive above ground. Becca figured out how to make it in space and make it work. She came back down in a pod from Polaris station, from space, to give it to those that survived the first _Praimfaya. _She gave them _natjus. _Over time, those of you still on Earth, the new generations, their bodies learned to produce what it was that was needed to survive the radiation and stay above ground. This is what caused an occasional _natblida. _It wasn't the gods, Gaia. It was genetics. However from Abby and Raven's studies on the _natjus_, I can say that those born with it were special. They tended to be stronger and smarter."

"Like Lexa?"

"And, Luna and Aden and all the rest, going back to Becca. She saved man once with her black blood. If it is meant to save man again, it will," Octavia told her. "As _Flaimkepa,_ you are the holder of the legends and the one that will anoint the next _heda _if there is to be one. So, I'll ask you again. Will you give Clarke the Flame because she has black blood or will you seek another?"

"You're saying that she's like Becca?"

"I am."

"I will have to consult what histories I have. I will research this. I know that it will be limited because I don't have a _natblida o heda_ to ask. Lexa could have told us more about the memories of the other _hedas_ back to Becca, if she wished."

"Do you have any of her diaries?"

"I might."

"Start there, Gaia. If you find a link, let me know. We need to be ready for anything when we get out of here."

"You would kneel to _Wanheda?"_

"I would have her command me, yes," Octavia answered.

Gaia stared into her green eyes looking for something. Octavia didn't know if she found it or not, but the darker girl turned back to the mural on the wall. Her fingers brushed over the blonde in the tree and then the person sitting among the roots.

"You think that Clarke is the Starling?"

"It could be true," Octavia stated.

"And, that would make you?" Gaia asked, wondering if Octavia was hinting at what she was hinting at.

"The Earthling, literally," Octavia answered.

Gaia stared at her for a moment and then back at the wall. Her mind went through all the legends and stories that she knew concerning the Earthling and Starling. The one thing that stood out more than anything was that it was entirely possible. She just nodded before she turned around and looked deeply into Octavia's eyes.

"Born again of the Earth..."

"What?" Octavia questioned as she looked at Octavia.

"You could be the Earthling if the people wished it to be," Gaia stated.

"How?"

"You were born in the stars, but you've been born again of the Earth twice. Mom made you her _sekkon, _that made you _Trikru. _You won the conclave and you are leading us. YOu will be the one that delivers us back to the ground, back to the surface and help us learn to survive on this new Earth. I think that you could very well be the Earthling. You've brought peace among the tribes. You've united us more than Lexa could, but you are continuing her legacy. You bear the colors of the earth."

"What do you mean?" Octavia inquired.

"Your hair is the color of the ground, your eyes the colors of the trees. You are of the Earth, now, Octavia. And, once we get back through the hatch, you will be twice born of the Earth. You could use this to unite the clans more under your rule, _Osleya. _Is that what you want?" Gaia asked her.

Octavia didn't know what to say. She wanted the clans united. She wanted them to survive. She wanted to deliver them to the surface. From there, she would gladly hand them over to Clarke if she wanted. If not, she would want Clarke to rule with her.

And, thought brought a whole new amount of issues to Octavia's brain. She looked at Gaia and wondered what the _Flaimkepa _wanted her to say. She shook her head, but made no definitive answer. Instead, she looked back at the wall.

"Look into the legends more. I want to know what you think about them. We have time. I'll read up on it, too. I don't want to start a rebellion or a revolution. We're already pushing them into one clan united. I know that they are starting to understand more and actually believe that we will be stronger together. I don't want to upset that, now. No, we will wait to say anything," Octavia told her.

"Forgive me, _Blodreina, _but we need to start sowing the seeds of the possibility that you could be the Earthling of our stories. That way we can eat them into Clarke's equal reign when they come back from the stars," Gaia explained.

"Teach the myth, but say nothing more," Octavia commanded.

"As you wish, _Osleya_," Gaia replied and saluted.

Octavia nodded and left the room. She walked back through the bunker. She stopped by the farm. It wasn't a required check for the day, but she wanted to make sure that they were still in the green. Surprises were not something that could afford in the bunker. Finite resources and being underground made them find unusual solutions, but Octavia knew that a complete farm d failure would mean absolute death.

Cooper must have seen her come in and thought that it was a surprise inspection because of the quick commands that Octavia heard barged out in _Trig. _A worker brought her a binder and took some tools from Kara's hands. Cooper saluted Octavia as she crossed the room to welcome her to the farm.

"_Ai Blosreina," _ she greeted Octavia with the traditional Grounder shaking of forear's.

"Cooper," Octavia replied.

"Is it time for an inspection?"

"No, I wss coming to check on things. Your last report troubled me. I wanted to come see how things were faring add what solutions you have before the next council meeting," Octavia told her.

Cooper nodded and then bade that Octavia should follow he towards the mess where they could sit and talk in place. Octavia watched everyone as they worked. The crops looked good. The farm looked good, but Octavia also knew that this was only one section of the farm. And, that one section wasn't enough to keep everyone fed. She wondered how many sections would have to fail for famine to begin. Then she realized, that she needed to know now numbers about each section in the bunker, even if she couldn't personally run them. She needed to meet with the council members' seconds and make sure that if someone went down that there was already someone ready to take over.

"Do you want to see our production numbers?" Cooper asked.

"Soon."

"Then, what questions do you have?"

"Are you still running at eighty percent?"

"Yes," Cooper answered. "Farms twelve, twenty-two and thirty are fallow now."

"Good. Any threats to the crops?"

"Not really."

Octavia cocked an eyebrow at her and asked, "But?"

"Output is declining in some of the farms," Cooper replied.

"And what can be done?"

"I'm working with Abby to see what the computers can help us come up with. We've been producing ants in the lab for protein like you suggested. I have a small farm working on it and crickets, too. Abby suggested mixing it in the floor for the bread and what not. We already been incorporating it in case the shot beans fail after this next harvest."

"And, no one has complained about this?"

"Not to me or any of the mess staff, _Blodreina_," Cooper answered.

"Good, keep up the work. Rotate the crops as needed and possibly more often. I don't want the people to expect the same things everyday. Let's start mixing it up more, like it would be on the surface," Octavia commanded.

"_Sha, Blodreina. We will work with the cooks and make a bigger menu. Should I send it up to you when we are done?" _Cooper asked, showing off her growing ability in _Trig._

"No, send it to Indra and Abby. They will make sure that it is balanced and that the people won't complain about it too much. Make sure that all your _randzi_ are in on it, too. They might have some recipes that we might all enjoy with our limited resources. Remember to use everything that you have, Kara. They will take care of you if you take care of them," Octavia told her.

"_Sha, Blodreina._"

Octavia nodded at her and left. She didn't even look at the numbers from the farm. She knew that Cooper would warn her in time. She knew that Cooper was worried and she was working on things. Octavia probably didn't tell her anything that she didn't already now, but she was learning, too. They had come to an understanding. Cooper had done well and she supported Octavia, more so than some of the other council members. Octavia didn't question her loyalty anymore. She didn't care why Cooper trusted her to get them to ground, only that she did.

Octavia thought about that some more as she made her way back up to her office. She didn't care about Cooper's motivation as long as she had her cooperation and her loyalty. Cooper's coup cost the both dearly in the beginning. Cooper didn't follow her out of blind faith like Indra. She didn't make her mystical like Gaia just because she was the last survivor of the conclave for the bunker. She didn't fear Octavia more than she feared death. But, Cooper gave her something that the other Grounders could see and latch onto. They both knew it and they both used it. Cooper use to get things she wanted when the council denied her and Octavia used it to prove her point to them all. If Cooper, who would have killed her in a heartbeat to survive, followed her now and saw that Octavia would save them and get them back to the surface, then Octavia must have plan and a way for them to make it. Becoming a cohesive unit and an one clan _Wonkru_ was the way to do it. More and more people listened to Octavia's words and they saw her for their guiding light back above ground.

"I need Cooper to talk with Gaia..." Octavia mused as she made her way back into her office.

Niylah was there, still sleeping. Looking at the clock, she roused the woman to go put her time at the clinic and to report back on Abby's "condition." Thinking about it now, she knew that she should have seen it coming, but she was to busy dealing with the entire bunker, rather than focusing on Clarke's mother. This made her thoughts drift to Clarke. She looked back at the clock and realized that it was still early morning. She hadn't realized what time it was when she went down to see Gaia. She hadn't missed Clarke's broadcast.

She moved over to the radio, gearing it up to record. Niylah came in, having spent the night in her bed, again, and gave Octavia a hug before heading off to the clinic for the day. She acknowledged her and was happy that it seemed to placated Indra and Gaia some that Niylah had been staying with her. She knew that woman still bore no feelings for her, or she hoped she didn't. They cuddled. Their relationship was purely platonic. Octavia needed someone to care for her in a way that no one in the bunker was qualified for, but Niylah was the closest that she could take. She knew that it was their love of Clarke that kept them together, but neither of them were willing to cross the line. It had been months and still, Octavia wouldn't do more than spoon with her.

Now, alone, with her thoughts and the radio, she waited to hear from Clarke. It had become like a drug. She needed to hear her voice. It was one of the few things that calmed and kept her going. She knew that it was irrational, but it worked. No one had to know that it was the combination of both Niylah's cuddling and Clarke's words that healed her in ways that no one and nothing else could. And, she didn't dare tell Niylah that at night while being held, she thought of Clarke and not her.

"Winter's still hanging on. The cold isn't as biting. I'm hoping to see the receding snows and spring flowers soon. It is amazing to watch the rebirth of the valley every time, Bell. It's beautiful and nothing like we imagined. Books and pictures never do it justice.

"We've been in one of the caves for the last few weeks, gathering winter fruits and vegetables from higher up near the peaks of the mountain. There isn't much here and too much higher and the land is burnt. I look every time to see if it healing, but I can't tell. I hope that it is. I hope that this greenness spreads back around the Earth. I know that it'll take time, but I'm hoping that when you come back that Monty can help it. I miss his genius right now.

"I've been trying to teach Madi how to write, but it is difficult with very limited resources. Most nights instead, she lays on my lap and begs me to comb out her hair. She likes it when I run berries through it, giving it a different color for a few days. Every time I change it, this week it's reddish due to the pomegranates. I can't wait to show all the foods that we have and the seasons, Bell. Oh my the seasons, but she won't use charcoal to write. She'd rather me tell her stories. She especially loves those about Octavia kicking ass. I feel that she might be a little rebel, but she's a good kid. Stay safe, Bell. I'll see you soon," Clarke stated.

"Fruit!" Octavia exclaimed, running for the door to her office. "Get me, Cooper!" she demanded and watched as the guard went running. "Fruit...Of all the things to want..."


	23. Chapter 23

**Chapter 23**

They were in the office. Madi had followed Clarke and wouldn't leave her side. Octavia understood. She'd been like too back on the Ark. She'd have followed Bellamy anywhere. But, here they were in her office and Madi was studying it all with a childlike wonder that Octavia had forgotten about. She hadn't wanted to remember it because it meant that she was the reason that her mother was floated. She was the living, breathing reason that her mother died. It was just the law; it was her existence.

Two days had past beforevthey'd made it back to Polis. No more storms to block their path. No more worms trying to kill them all. But, Octavia and many others hadn't come back unscathed. The wounded were down in the clinic with Jackson.

She felt like she failed them all. She hadn't returned them to Valley. She hadn't gotten to Eden by a long shot and she sure as hell hadn't gotten Abby and Kane back.

But, yet, there she sat with Clarke tending to her wounds as Madi watched on, both in excitement of being in the _Skairipa's _presence and still learning from Clarke's tutelage. Octavia regarded her. Her wide, blue eyes following Clarke's hands as they moved. And, if Octavia didn't know better, she would have sworn that the child was Clarke and Bellamy's. It gave her pause because she could see their influences in Madi's behaviors, but she understood it. She'd only had Clarke and Clarke only had tales to give her. Now, Madi was literally star struck because she was actually meeting all the people in Clarke's stories, beside the rest of the people that survived. She was feisty and Octavia loved it. She'd heard her so much on the radio that seeing her now was almost the same for her as it was for Madi meeting her. They were in awe of each other.

"Are you sure that you don't want Jackson looking at this?" Clarke asked Octavia, completely stopping her rambling thoughts.

"He's dealing with Indra and other patients. You're here. Let's get on with it," Octavia stated.

She knew she sounded coarse, but she couldn't help it. She wasn't trying to be mean, but she was in pain, both mentally and physically. Not making it to Eden was a huge blow, but she'd gotten Monty, Harper and Madi out of the ill-fated trip, with just a hint of intel on what Diyoza was doing, too.

Clarke unwrapped the bandages around her arm. She looked down as she worked. Clarke gave her another questioning look and Octavia answered by cutting her eyes at Madi. Clarke gave her a very unperceivable nod and grabbed the "hooch" on the table. Grabbing a clean cloth, she wet it with the alcohol and started to reach for Octavia's arm. She paused, more like hesitated and Octavia could see the worry in her eyes. Six years was a long time to be alone and it could harden the best of people. She could tell by the look in Clarke's eyes that the blonde was unsure on how to proceed with her. Were they friends? Were they allies, even?

"Just do it," Octavia commanded.

Clarke leaned forward and began to clean the wormhole with the rag. Octavia did her best to appear strong and only hissed at it burned the wound. She sucked her breath and cocked her head away from the pain. Her eyes landed on Madi again. Clarke caught them both just staring at each other, Madi in adoration and Octavia in question.

"Madi's a big fan," Clarke told her as she allowed the alcohol to seep into the wound.

Octavia smiled at this. She could tell it pained Clarke, just a little, to say it. She cut her eyes back to the woman before her.

"She's heard every story about the girl under the floor who saved the human race," Clarked stated and Madi beamed larger.

Octavia looked at the girl, watching her. She smiled at her and bid her come closer. She could actually feel Clarke bristle a little at the hand gesture. It wasn't lost on Octavia at Clarke's reluctance. But, nevertheless, Madi walked closer. Octavia reached over and held Clarke's hand steady on her wound, squeezing it, trying to comfort her before she spoke again. She knew that what she was about to say couldn't leave her office. It would cost them all too much if it did.

"I know your secret, Madi. It's okay. _Clarke is your nomon, now. Keep next to her and the guards that I have shadowing. They are loyal to me. They will protect you both above all others. You might actually be Heda someday, Madi kom Klark. And, I hope I live to see it. If I should fall or the gods forbid, our great Wanheda falls before that happens, there are only three people for you to go to, understand?"_

Madi looked from Clarke to Octavia and back again. Clarke sucked in a breath and tried to pull away, but Octavia hadn't released Clarke's hand on her arm yet. In fact as she spoke, she clamped down on it harder, holding her still while trying to convey her promise to them both.

"_There is one Flaimkepa, but I will not tell her of you. That will be your decision and your decision only. I know that you are afraid and you have good reason to be, but I will not let her hurt you. My personal guard, Mila will protect you. He's picked his finest from my guard to serve you both. They are to be shadows and not let anyone else know that they are there. My own goufa has one name Lunden. She protects and teaches him."_

_"And, you Skairipa?"_

_"No, Madi, she does not. If I die and your mother, Klark dies. You seek Mila and Indra. They will protect you. If you wish, seek out Gaia, the Flaimkepa. Any of the others, Belami, Harper, Monti, Merfee, Emori, and possibly even Eko, they will protect you as well. You are one of us now, goufa. You are part of the remaining hundred that came from the stars and we defend and protect our own above all others. Surely your nomon has taught you that?" _Octavia questioned.

"She's taught me to be loyal to the family," Madi stated.

"Then, you will be fine, sha?"

"Sha, _Skairipa."_

_"_I think she is only one that I will allow to still call me that. From her, it sounds like an endearment and not a curse," Octavia started as she let go of Clarke's hand. She could see the worry in her eyes. "There is nothing to fear from me, Clarke. I will not harm her. I would treat her as my own. I hope you think that as well."

Clarke finished tying of the new bandage around Octavia's arm. She inspected it, just be sure that that no further possible infection could set in. That last thing that they needed to be doing was digging flesh out of Octavia's arm when she needed to lead the army. Smiling at Clarke, she moved to take Clarke's hand that was rest on the nearby table again in her own. Their eyes briefly met and held, as Octavia silently tried to convey her wishes.

There was a knock at door. Clarke backed away and started to clean up the medkit that had been procured for Octavia's office, alone. It was Cooper. Her dark eyes met Clarke's and Octavia could already feel the shift in the room. Clarke was gearing up to fight and Cooper was ready to win a war. The only problem was that they weren't fighting the same battles. Octavia felt like she was in the middle, but she a head a people to lead and promises to upkeep. She couldn't do it laying or sitting down. She needed to be up and among the people. She needed to know what they thought. She knew that not all of them wanted to fight, but she didn't know the climate of the bunker at the time and she knew how dangerous that could be, not only for herself, but Madi and Clarke, too.

"Are we done?" Octavia asked her.

"Yes, but you need another day of rest," Clarke instructed her.

"She needs to be with her people," Cooper countered.

Octavia was torn. She knew that Clarke would prefer that she rest her arm and allowed it heal without any further damage. She wanted that, too, but Cooper was right. The people needed to see her. They needed to know that she was healing and that she was going to come up with another plan.

Cooper helped her redon her _Blodreina_ cloak and walked with her as went to survey things. Of course, guards fell into place without having to be told, two on her and two stayed at the door for Clarke and Madi. They made their way out of the bunker and back into Polis. The people looked tired, haggered, and worried.

"Hundreds are still refusing to come out of the bunker, afraid that they'll be bombed in the streets."

Octavia looked around. The people were scared, but they looked defeated. Taking everything in, she looked back at Cooper.

"What aren't you telling me? You said they needed to see me, but they can barely look at me. What have I missed?"

"They fear Diyoza's bombs and missiles. Words has spread about the defeat in the Wastelands. The land here is dead. Nothing will grow in it and I don't care how much it rains. The soil is useless. It won't arrate. And as you know, the hydrofarm is..."

"Stop it. I get it. We will die if we stay or we will die if we go. We've faced worse odds than this, Cooper."

"Yes, but now we know the warning signs of rebellion. I fought against you because you were vunerable. _Wonkru _was living in fear. Look around you. It will happen again, unless you do something to take control," Cooper explained.

She let out a breath through her nose. She did it to keep from sighing on the streets. She couldn't look weak in front of her people. Cooper was right about that much. If she did, it could start a coup. And, that was the last thing that they needed during the middle of war. The only coup that Octavia would officially support would be one lead by Clarke and Madi, but she doubted that Clarke wanted to use her _Wanheda _influence in such a manner. She looked around again at the street and her people before turning back to Cooper and giving her a nod. She didn't know what she would do to prove that she was still very much in control, but she knew that she had to do something, fast.

"Octavia!" Bellamy called as he walked towards her. "Glad to see you back on your feet."

And, then she saw that Echo was with him. She wasn't dressed fully like a Grounder, much less like a Azgeda warrior or spy. She looked like she belong with the hundred and somewhere in the back of her throat, it made Octavia want to vomit. Her dislike of Echo stemmed from many betrayals, assassination attempts, and just outright pettiness. She didn't like her and she didn't care that she was her brother's fuck toy or lover or whatever. She was banished and she was in her town. That couldn't stand. She needed to prove her power to the people. Then Echo would be her proof that she was still in charge.

She looked at Bellamy as he spoke about Echo trying to get into the bunker. Octavia just cocked her head and stared at her, not her brother. A slight smile crossed her face.

"What is she doing her?" Octavia asked him.

"I just wanted to thank you..."

Octavia chuckled slightly. Echo was thanking her for the saving the people in the bunker like it was per Echo's permission. Echo tried to kill her during the conclave and now she was standing there thanking her for saving the people. It was too much.

"I didn't do it for you. And, _Azgeda _is no more. There is only _Wonkru. _And, you have no clan here. You are the enemy of _Wonkru. _I banished you for a reason, Echo. That has no changed. You are not welcome here," Octavia told her.

Bellamy was taken aback. He couldn't believe that his sister wouldn't let Echo in. It had been six years and Echo had proven her worth on the Go-Sci Ring. He told her as much.

"This isn't space. This isn't the Go-Sci ring and I'm still in charge, Bellamy, not you. She's banished."

Bellamy tried to plead his case again. Echo just stood there. She said nothing. She knew better. Echo stood there resolute and with her head held high.

"_Wonkru! _I banished this murderer from the bunker six years ago. My judgement still stands. She has twenty-four hours. If she's still here by then, she fights in the arena. That is all I have to say on the matter," Octavia yelled.

Bellamy chased after her. She didn't stop for his pleading. Horns began to blow, a warning. They looked up and saw Diyoza's ship. They ran for the bunker, but Bellamy wouldn't follow. Octavia stood there and stared at him, then the sky. Something was falling from the ship. Octavia stood there and watched it falling, even as Cooper and her other guards were trying to get her back inside the bunker.

"Wait!" Octavia called as she realized that Diyoza wasn't there to bomb them.

She watched at some sort of container fell from the sky. One of the fell in front of them. Octavia walked over to it as it opened and fresh vegetables and fruits began to fall out of it. She noticed something else on the top. It was a set of speakers. It looked like each container had the same set up of food and speakers. Cocking her head, she waited to see what Diyoza wanted. It didn't take long.

Diyoza's voice came over the speakers. She was calling for a rebellion against Octavia. Cooper gave Octavia a look as Octavia reached for her guard's sword. She cut the speakers of the container, but she knew the damage was already done. She knew that it wasn't just Diyoza that was begging for peace. It was Kane. Somehow in the bunker, he'd grown a conscience. Octavia shook her head as she went into the bunker.

Cooper and Miller followed her into the office. They knew that there would be defectors. They all did. There had always been people that didn't think that Octavia should be in charge. There were those who thought that it should have been someone else or they didn't agree with her choices, but like it or not, she was the one that got them to this point. She's saved them. She'd kept them alive and made sure that as many as possible would survive, even when they thought otherwise. Now, Diyoza was using Kane against her. The bunker was open and the people hadn't gotten to the Valley, to Eden yet. This was just something else that she would have to deal with. The warriors would side with her. It was the others that she needed to get back in line.

Clarke, Bellamy, Monty and Harper broke into her meeting with Cooper, Miller, and her generals. Miller tried to stop them. Clarke shook her head at him and then looked pleadingly to Octavia. She raised her hand and let them in.

"We all need to get to that Valley, Octavia. We need each other to get there. We can do this together or we all die, here," Clarke told her.

"Last I knew, Diyoza has her eye in the sky. We can't move if she can see us. Got something to fix that?"

"I don't, but Monty does."

"So?"

"I have one of their lazercoms. It's dialed into their mothership. I can use it to hack their computers and block them. I'll need an antanae and a computer, but I should be able to find everything that I need in the bunker," Monty told her.

"Cooper," Octavia started.

"_Sha, Blodreina?_"

"Take him and Harper. Get them whatever they need and I mean, whatever. Give them some of our engineers to help. I want this done quickly but correctly. Monty will be in charge. Make sure they know that and send a few guards, too."

"_Sha," _Cooper replied and pointed for the door.

Monty, Harper and Cooper left. That left Bellamy, Clarke and Miller with her. Clarke was watching her eyes as she continued to eye her brother. Finally, she turned to Miller.

"Set a perimeter around the bunker and the surrounding building. No one goes past it. Those that do will be considered traitors and shot as such. Bellamy and his people can move freely, as can Clarke and Madi. They are not part of _Wonkru. _We can start to lose people now. We will prevail. We've made it this long. We can last a little longer," Octavia told him. "Clarke and I have much to discuss. See Bellamy out and show him where he can stay with Echo for now. She is not to come in, no matter what."

_"Sha, Blodreina,_" Miller stated and saluted.

He grabbed Bellamy and practically forced him out the door. She saw his eyes soften just a little bit as she didn't have Echo killed, but was allowing her to stay in Polis for the time being. It wasn't a pardon, but it was a slight reprieve. Clarke watched all this and wondered what Octavia was thinking.

"Wayne, get everyone else training."

Octavia sat down behind her desk and looked at Clarke. The blonde looked worried. She couldn't tell if it was because Octavia was actually being the "Red Queen," and not just the "Girl Under the Floor."

"I know that you are worried, but you don't need to be. Madi is safe. We are safe for now. Tomorrow, things will change and you will see. We will find our way into the valley. Eden is yours, Clarke," Octavia told her.

"What are you going to do about Echo, Octavia?"

"Nothing. She's banished. There is nothing to do. She's needs to find her own way."

"I am not willing to let her die trying to find her way."

"What would you suggest I do, Clarke? She's tried to kill me at least twice that I know of. She's done stuff to try to kill off _Skaikru_. She doesn't care about anyone or anything, but herself and making _Azgeda _the lead clan. _Azgeda _is no more, Clarke. I can't afford to have her in the bunker. We already have dissenters. She would just create more," Octavia replied.

"And, if I asked you to pardon her?" Clarke pushed.

"She tried to kill me in the conclave, Clarke. She tried to kill me before by pushing me off a cliff. She betrayed us and Lexa several times to her Ice Queen. She would have me dead and some _Azgeda _as the leader. Do you want that?"

"Have you talked to her?"

"What?"

"Have you actually talked to her since she came back with Bellamy?"

"No."

"Just like you changed on the ground, maybe she changed in the stars. I'm not saying that you have to allow her in the bunker, Octavia, but hear her out. She might surprise you. She lived with Bellamy and the rest of them on the Go-Sci Ring. She helped them survive in space. Talk to her and see what she can do to earn your trust."

"Is that a command, _Wanheda?"_

_"_If I say yes, will you do it?"

Octavia stared at her. Clarke had agreed to lead them to the valley. She'd agreed to help foster the troops and guide them on this quest. She'd told Octavia that she wasn't allowed to die, at least not under Clarke's protection. She'd asked for Clarke's help and her command. She'd put so much out there for Clarke to try to understand where she stood and that she could be someone that Clarke could turn to if she needed. But, this...could she do it? Could she talk to Echo?

"And, if I refuse?" Octavia questioned.

Clarke moved over to the desk. Looking down at her, Octavia could see the fire in her blue eyes. She didn't move. She didn't say anything. Clarke simply stared at her and waited for Octavia to make the correct choice.

"I'll talk to her, but not in the bunker. We can't do that. I'll send word that I will meet her in a house or a building past the perimeter."

"How will you shake the guards?"

"Do not worry about that, _Wanheda. _Worry about getting her the message to meet me. That will be your problem. I need to tend to my people. I will bring rations. She needs to supply the water and we will talk. More than that, I will not promise you at this time," Octavia told her.

"That is all I'm asking."

Clarke gave her a rare smile and left. Octavia didn't smile back. She looked down at the desk and then stood up. She walked to the door and knew that she would Miller there waiting. There were two other guards that she recognized. One of them was Mara and the other Lin. She looked at Mara, who was a sandy brown haired woman from _Delfikru. _

"Mara, take Clarke wherever she wants to go. She has no boundaries, but protect her with your life. She is your _Wanheda,_" Octavia commanded.

"_Sha, Blodreina,_" Mara said. _"Wanheda?"_

"I'll be back by dinner. I hope that you have an answer for me by then, _Blodreina. _We still have much to discuss."

"I will meet you back here, then," Octavia replied.

Clarke gave her a quick nod and then followed as Mara led her away from the office. Octavia could hear Mara ask Clarke quiet, questions in _Trigedaslenge_ as they walked away. She felt something inside her shift and she couldn't help but wonder if it was Clarke's doing.

She looked at Miller, and then, Lin.

"Lin, stay on Cooper."

"Sha," he replied and immediately headed for the mess.

"Miller, you stay with me. No questions. We are going to take a tour of your perimeter."

"_Sha, Blodreina," _he replied and took his position behind her.

She started for the bunker door. She could hear Miller behind her and more guards, too. She stopped at the door and looked at the guards.

"I only go further with Miller. The rest of you prepare for another march for Eden. Protect the bunker. Protect our people. Protect the perimeter."

She was given a round of "sha's" from the guards. Miller watched them go. She knew that he wouldn't question her. She walked around the town. She saw the unhappiness of her people. She saw the weariness. She knew that they thought she was ruthless. She wasn't ruthless to be ruthless. She was ruthless to keep them alive.

She walked around for an hour. She took notes of those who looked ready to bolt. She looked at those who were gathering the food.

"Make sure they test it before serving any of it," Octavia commanded and Miller immediately related the commands to some of the mess workers that were near the containers.

She stopped and waited for Miller to rejoin her. They took a lazy stroll. As she walked she thought about things that they could do in order to restore Polis somewhat. She knew that it would take time, but she also knew that not all the people would feel comfortable heading towards Eden and living there. She did this to give Clarke time to get a message to Echo. She wasn't necessarily waiting on Clarke to come back to her, but she knew that Clarke would.

After an hour, she saw Clarke standing alone on a pile of ruble, looking down into the remains of the city below. She made her way to Clarke and saw the blonde give her another, larger smile than before. As she neared, Miller and Mara stood away, letting them talk, but they were close enough to guard them.

"Is she waiting?"

"Yes, she is," Clarke answered.

"Are you coming with me?"

"I might," Clarke replied.

"If I asked you, would you?"

"Maybe," Clarke said with a smile as she nodded anyway.

"Has Diyoza's message stopped?"

"No, it hasn't. Monty is still working on that and taking down her eye. It will take time. I hope that he will be ready by tomorrow," Octavia answered.

"Talk to her."

Octavia nodded as they moved further down the pile and past the perimeter. She looked back at Miller and Mara. She saw his questioning eyes, but she shook her head. He saluted in understanding. He knew that she was going to be walking with Clarke. He knew that she was armed. He wasn't afraid for her. He was afraid for Clarke, but he would stay with Mara until Octavia came back. He knew better than to question Octavia. Afterall, she'd kept her promise. She delivered them back to the surface. She'd kept them alive. He would follow her until she told him not to.

They stopped outside a building. Octavia couldn't tell what it had been once. All she could see was that it was in very bad shape. It did however still boast a roof and four walls, something that the buildings around it couldn't. Clarke ushered her into the building.

When she entered, she saw Bellamy and Echo at a table. Chairs were surrounding it and they were all different. There were containers of water. She looked over at Clarke, who produced food from her pack. Octavia did the same and placed it on the table beside Clarke's offering. She noticed that Clarke's offering contained food from the containers that Diyoza had sent.

"I agreed to talk to you."

"Thank you," Echo replied.

"You can go, Bellamy," Octavia told him.

"I'm not leaving her."

"Yes, you are or this is over."

"Bellamy, come with me," Clarke said as she stood.

As soon as they were gone, Octavia turned and looked into Echo's hazel's eyes. She didn't know where to start, but she figured that Echo should plead her case. The woman wanted to come into the fold, but she had tried to kill Octavia one too many times.

"You want to earn your way back in?"

"I want to be with Bellamy," Echo answered.

"Fair enough, even though I don't understand it. I will give you the opportunity to tell me why I should consider it. I have things to do. You have less than an hour, so if I was you, I would start talking," Octavia commanded as she leaned back into the chair she'd taken.


	24. Chapter 24

**Chapter 24**

**One thousand days after ****_Praimfaya_**

Octavia stood in the clinic. She was getting sewn up...again after another hard day of training among the troops. She felt good. Things didn't look so bleak. She was starting to actually be...somewhat...happy. She was afraid though. She knew that she had every right to be. They were still underground. Time was still marching on and resources were still limited. But, she'd survived under the floor for sixteen years. Six years in a concrete box buried hundreds of feet below the surface should be easy.

"Almost three years," she mused.

"What?" Jackson asked her.

"Nothing," she replied, watching him work.

He had soft hands and a gentle touch. Abby had done well with him on his bedside manner. Unfortunately, he couldn't handle the stress of trauma. He would never be as good as Abby, but he still tried. And, Octavia that was enough for now. She knew that he might have step up if they didn't take care of Abby's little problem.

"Is Niylah scheduled time in the clinic today?" Octavia asked him.

"I'm not sure. I'd have to go look. She's been working mostly with Abby when she is in her. I've been working with the other fisa on first aid, cleanliness, and basic illnesses. Niylah's more comfortable with trauma and rehab exercises. Abby has given her a small area to work the injured back to strength. She's good at it," Jackson answered.

"I know. She helped me in Arkadia before everything went to shit. That's why I sent her down here," Octavia told him.

He just hummed as he continued to stitch up her wound. Octavia watched him. He was a good doctor and very passive. She could see why Miller had fallen for him. His easy demeanor was refreshing in the bunker. He reminded her of Niylah and it again made her understand why Miller turned to him. He was soft where Miller was hard and they honestly cared for each other.

Shaking her thoughts, she looked down at her arm. It was another scar and another lesson learned. Indra would be proud of her, but still would have smacked her in the back of the head for getting injured in the first place.

"All done," Jackson told her.

"Good. Tell Abby I want to see her after her shift tonight. I have some questions concerning some numbers and nutrition," Octavia commanded.

"I will."

Octavia left the med bay and started back towards her office. She wasn't expecting to get hurt, so going to the infirmary had completely derailed her day. She didn't have a watch, so she could only hope that she hadn't missed Clarke's broadcast for that day. Sure, she'd programmed the radio to record any oncoming broadcasts, but outit wasn't the same as hearing it rushed into the office and to the radio, making sure it was loud enough for to her as she shed some of her gear.

"Hey, Bell, today is day one thousand...hard to believe, but it is. I feel like I should be extra thankful today. And part of me is, but the other part is still so lonely," Clarke started.

Octavia could feel her heart breaking. She wanted to answer her, to tell her that she's not alone, too hold her close until are her fears went away. Wait what? Octavia shook herself ave pushed away from the desk. She hadn't remembered sitting, but was obvious that she had.

"I hold Madi some nights as we sleep. She cuddles up to me. I think she's just seeking warmth until she starts rubbing my arms or side. She clings to me some nights like a baby _pauna. _ It's on nights like this that I whisper in her ear and run my hands through her hair, trying to give her a comfort I once took for granted. I've become her mother...

"I have no clue what I'm doing with her, but neither of us are dead, so I'll have that as a win."

Octavia laughed. She needed it. She needed to know that Clarke was human, again. She knew that it was all in her head that she'd built her up to be some sort of superhuman. She knew it was partially because Clarke had survived that long, partially because she knew that Clarke was a _natblida _(even if it was synthetic), and partially because of what they went through to get where they were now.

"There are some days that I am not sure how we've survived except that we have each other. I am not sure what I would have done had it just been me. I don't even want to think about her being alone here...especially...especially after what I found when I got to her village. It was devastating. Bell...I fear that I wouldn't have made five years without someone. Don't get me wrong, I am glad you made it and I am sure that you think I dead. But, just remember I don't regret sending you and staying behind.

"I'm sure that you had some sort of memorial or something for me. I can't wait to actually see your face when you realize that I survive. I better see you in a few years, too," Clarke told him and then released the mic.

Octavia waited. She wasn't sure if that is where Clarke was going to end for the day. Sometimes, she just stopped mid-thought, but Octavia got it. Clarke had never been afraid of being emotional and she couldn't or wouldn't keep them bottled. Octavia admired her for that. She also knew that for Lexa, Clarke was enigma, but Octavia understood her. She didn't know if it was because she was from the stars, too, or just because she'd learned how to read Clarke. She had to admit that not seeing Clarke's face made it hard sometimes to see what she was actually thinking, but she could imagine.

"I hope that Octavia and the rest of them are doing well in the bunker. I can only imagine that it is hard for all the Grounders to be in there. They've never not been able to go outside. I am sure that it is weighing on Octavia, too. I want the time to pass quickly. I want you all back. I'm selfish that way.

"I think it is mostly that I am worried, because I couldn't get to them, Bell. The things that I've seen here...they're devastating. I could spend days trying, but with just Mad and me, we'll never really make a dent. She suggests that we just go every few days in the rover and dig a little bit. I think she wants to see what's below more than she understands that is where all the survivors are hiding, waiting for the ground to be livable again for them. She doesn't understand why they can't be with us. I've tried to explain that it is our blood, but she just doesn't get it. How could she? The Grounders didn't understand what the black blood meant.

"I wonder if she's right. Maybe, we should try to dig a little out every week. There are things that we have to take care of here in Eden, but we could spare a day or two each week to work on digging down to the bunker door. Having her and Rover, it might actually motivate me more. But, there is so much and I'm afraid of a collapse. I don't want to make it worse. I know she means well, but I don't want to make it worse for when you get here to get them out. I need you both...so much. I need you all. There are so many of the hundred left and we've become family. I need to know that you're okay. I need to know they're okay. I need us to be together again.

"Madi and I've been cleaning out some of the houses. She so excited to meet everyone. She's been decorating things, too. She wants everyone to feel welcome.

"The farm is yielding well. We've got berry fields and a small orchard, too. There is so much here, Bell, so much that we never got to experience and I can't wait to show you all. I just hope that all the warriors will find a way to live in peace here. I know that it was hard for Octavia when she went to stay with Illian. She always been a fighter and I am not saying that we won't need them. We will, especially need them for hunters. I am sure that as the green expands back into the desert we will run into things that even I haven't had to deal with yet. The world is so vast and we've been living in such a small area. I really want to go and explore, but I don't want to be too far from Eden for too long. I've been trying to map things out again, since Madi wants to drive around with me. It's going slow, but I know as soon as everyone is together again, we'll finish it all. That's enough for today, Bell. Take it easy, stay safe and come back to me...us," Clarke said before the radio went silent again.

Octavia felt Clarke's pain. She felt every word like it was a knife in her heart, twisting, tormenting her with no relief. She felt like Prometheus. She'd found a way to save man and because she was doing what she could to save them, she was being punished for it. Clarke was, too. They were paying for everyone's sins just so that man would survive, would live again on the surface. It was a very painful and lonely existence, but Octavia mused that they both held themselves together well on their own.

She stood and turned away from the radio. She walked back to her desk and started going over the inventories for the bunker. It was time for the monthly counts. She knew that things were still good for the most part. Having the Grounders with them meant that they learned how to stretch out certain items. Clothes that were in taters became rags to clean with or sewn with other pieces to make a new garment. Things were pieced together as needed. Nothing went to waste. Everything was used in some fashion. She smiled as she saw the sculpture of bones that Ethan had made for her from the failed trial of growing fish in the lab. They had gotten at most, two or three meals out of the fish before it began being a drain on the water supply and they had to make the choice to cut the project.

There was a knock at the door. She looked up at it and waited. Usually if someone knocked, Miller would open and announce them. When this didn't happen in a timely manner, she started to get up to go check on the door herself. Before she made to the door, it opened. Kara stood there, binders in hand, with a strange look on her face. Octavia quickly schooled her surprise and pointed to her desk. Kara moved quickly and set the binders down.

"What is it?"

"The crops are failing," Kara said in a rush.

Octavia rounded her desk and sat down. She looked at the clock and then back at Kara. She cocked her head and wondered if her sometimes guard and head of the farm and mess knew about her radio transmissions from Clarke. She doubted it, but she was, besides Abby and Kane, the only one on the council that could get in her office and listen to the recorded transmission if she wanted. She didn't think that Kara would do that, but she couldn't be sure.

"How long?" Octavia asked, not pushing her rambling thoughts, but centering on the matter at hand.

"I don't know, a month, maybe two."

"Can we cut rations?"

"We can, but I don't know how far back before the people begin to suffer. We need to consult with Abby. The soybeans are going to be the first. Then the other beans will follow. I'm testing things in the lab to see what I can do to fix it, but the soils and the water are working anymore. The hydrofarm is failing on all levels," Kara told her.

Octavia leaned back in her chair. Her head leveling off with an air of command. She looked Kara in the eye before she spoke next, making sure that she had the woman's attention.

"Speak of this to no one."

"_Sha, Blodreina," _Cooper replied.

"Stay here."

She nodded in response. Octavia moved. She needed to get out of the office for a second. It felt like the walls were closing in around her. Breathing deeply, she stood just outside her office door. She turned to Wayne and saw his confused face.

"Go get Abby, Kane, and the head of the Hydro plant, now."

He saluted with a fist to chest and ran down the walkway and into the depths of the bunker. She felt Miller at her side. She knew that he was interested to know what was going on. She looked at him.

"When Wayne gets back, you come in. No one else enters after you. Let Abby, Kane, and Micha in first. Then no one else. The office will be on lock down. Send a runner for Indra. I'll want her, too," Octavia told him.

He nodded. Moving to the rail before them, Miller snapped and two men down in the pits looked up. He made some quick gestures and both of them ran. One into the bunker and the other up the ramp to the door. She heard Miller command him quietly and quickly in _Trigedalsenge. _She saw the man look at her, back at Miller, and then nod. He gripped his sword tight and moved to Wayne's spot as guard. She clapped him on the shoulder, knowing it was honor to him, before she went back into the office.

"Will other foods help us?"

"The soybeans and beans gave us proteins. The bug bread is helping to cover the crops' loss, but eventually I don't know if it would be enough to cover the amount of protein that we need to survive on. Cutting rations will help some, and buy me some time to get the farm running again, but I don't know if we have some other foods to try. We could try fish again, or something similar that we could feed on the algae we could grow," Cooper offered.

"You're right. We need to talk to Abby. I'm not doubting you, Kara, but I want a plan in place before things get too bad."

"_Sha, Blodreina."_

"And, it was good that you came to me immediately. We'll figure this out because we have to, Cooper. Just like on the Ark, we will survive."

"They turned to cannibalism, Octavia," Cooper started.

"Hopefully, we won't have to take it that far. We have options. We will explore them all before we dare to think about that," Octavia stated firmly.

Cooper nodded as their was another knock on the door.

"Enter!"

Kane and Indra came in and looked at Octavia. They both realized quickly that this wasn't an advisors meeting or a pre-meeting for the council. This was something dire and it needed their attention immediately. Kane gave Octavia a worried look as soon as his eyes met Coopers. He knew that it wasn't good.

"Please sit. We have much to discuss. We are just waiting on a few more to arrive."

Kane sat on the left of the desk, leaving a space between himself and Cooper. There was still some tension between the two after the coup, but Kane trusted that Cooper would get them through foodwise, but with nothing else. He'd seen how she fought in the pits to survive. He saw how she trained with the guard and he saw how she followed Octavia around when she was on duty. She was like a puppy seeking a bone and he didn't like it. Indra, on the other hand, sat at the right side of the desk in her position of rank and honor as high general. She knew it wasn't good. She could see the fear behind the cold stare in Octavia's eyes.

There was another knock on the door. She didn't have time to command for them to enter. Miller opened the door and ushered Abby in behind Micha. As soon as she was through the door, he said something to Wayne and the other guards he'd called earlier. They saluted quickly and moved to guard the door. He shut it behind him and then locked it. No one would enter or leave without Octavia's consent and Miller's approval from that moment.

"Please sit," Octavia said curtly.

Miller drew a chair near the door and just nodded at Octavia. She gave her quick nod and watched as Abby sat down next to Kane, between himself and Cooper. Micha perched himself on a chair behind Cooper and Indra. Once everyone was seated, Octavia looked over them all again. She could see it in their faces. They already knew.

"How bad is it?" Kane asked.

"The crops are failing."

"How long?" Abby questioned.

"A month, maybe two until complete failure," Cooper stated.

"What are we going to do?" Octavia posed to them all.

"We could reduce the population," Kane offered.

"Not an option. Next idea?"

"What about the bugs?" Indra probed.

"What about them?" Octavia asked.

"Abby said that they would give us protein. Is that not enough? Do we need more?"

"It was a stop gap when we noticed that yields were starting to taper off. Now, we are looking at complete failure of the beans. We need more protein options and quickly," Cooper answered. "I've tried everything that I can, but the rotation needs to be completely changed. We don't have anything to back it up protein-wise. We'll die first."

"Can we up the bug production?"

"We can try different things, but will only prolong things for so long. We can't live on the bugs alone. We need something else."

"And, the fish project?" Kane inquired.

"Used too much water. We made sure to grow algae eaters so that we didn't run the risk of wasting too much food on them," Cooper started.

"Algae!" Abby exclaimed.

"Explain," Octavia commanded.

"Algae grows in water. We'll use the failed hydrofarm pods to grow algae. Algae is a good source of iron, protein and carbs. It is like a superfood. It doesn't taste great, but I am sure that Cooper can do something with it," Abby stated. "It could be added to the bug bread or made into soups. We used to pack into the rations on the Ark because we could grow tons of it. I didn't bring it up earlier because we had the farm and a wide variety of things to supplement our diets."

"Is there anything else we could do?" Octavia asked.

"Maybe some mushrooms or something. They need dark, damp soil for the best yields. I'm sure that we could spare a little water for that. Couldn't we, Micha?" Abby asked.

"We still have the algae farm, just on a smaller scale. We were hoping for more fish, so we've been working on way to harvest them, but the yield was still so small. We gave them all to Cooper for soups. We could dedicate a little more water to a mushroom farm. We could use the soils to clean the water. It would be a small operation. I have no idea how much yield it would produce, but we could do it. Once it's running and we see how well it works, we could make it bigger or scrap it," Micha told them.

"Good, work with Cooper and get it going. As for the algae, work on using the failing hydropods to grow it. That way we aren't taking too much water. Then the water from the algae farm in Hydro could be used for the mushrooms as needed," Octavia commanded.

"We should start changing the diet slowly, so the people get used to it," Kane suggested.

"Like we did with the bug bread," Abby added.

"Agreed," Octavia stated. "Indra, thoughts?"

"I think we should start using the algae now. Replace the bean stuff with it. That way we can stop the beans and be on the algae before the failure is complete. The people will notice the taste change less this way. We can say that we are using a new crop. They will be less likely to revolt about it," Indra told her. "The warriors will not complain. I will tell them it will help them be better warriors. They will eat their rations and enjoy it, bad taste or not."

"As will I, _Blodreina,_" Miller stated.

"Most those who grew up on the Ark will recognize the taste, but they will understand that we are rotating crops. They won't fuss too much as we give them new things to eat. The mushrooms will help. Possibly, we could try a new grain or vegetable until the beans are growing again," Kane offered.

"I will do my best. For now, if what's growing will continue to yield, then I won't change it. Those that aren't, I'll rotate, hoping for higher yields. We'll keep trying the beans on a smaller scale until we get a good crop, again," Cooper replied.

"Good. Then, all of you get to work and not a word to anyone. Abby, I want you to work with Cooper on rations. You're in charge of our health. You'll know the rough requirements that we need. Use the computers if to get dietary information on what we can still grow and go from there. I want you both to meet every two weeks with me about this, bring the yields," she told Cooper before turning to Abby. "And, bring your thoughts and dietary requirements for us to survive."

"Yes, Octavia," Abby stated.

"_Sha, Blodreina,_" Cooper replied.

"Good. Dismissed. And, not a word."

"We should meet again about this," Kane threw out.

"In two months, we'll revisit this and see how things are going. Keep good logs, all of you. Kane, work with Micha. I want you to head the mushroom farm. Select a few people to help you, but take at least one from Hydro, two from the farm and one from mess of Cooper's selection," Octavia commanded. "And, Indra will find you any other personnel that you might require from there. You have your projects. We meet again in two months."

They all started to shuffle from the room as soon as Miller opened the door. Octavia didn't have to worry. She knew that Miller and Indra would put men on them all. And, only those that Indra and Miller trusted would be sent to help with the projects. They were safe for now. The next two months were going to be trying and all Octavia could do was pray that they made it through.


	25. Chapter 25

**Chapter 25**

They had been talking for an hour, but Octavia was no closer to trusting Echo that she had before she sat down with her. She just found it hard and she'd been in the bunker. Echo hadn't proven anything to her in the last six years. She was thankful that she'd been there for Bellamy, but that didn't mean a thing when it came to _Wonkru_. Echo was truly an outsider.

"Why did you go to Bellamy?"

"What do you mean?" Echo asked her.

"After you were banished and not allowed in the bunker, why did you run to him?" Octavia questioned.

"I figured that he had a way to survive. I had no idea that it would take me to the stars. I tried to commit ritual suicide as an Azgeda warrior, but Bellamy stopped me."

"Why?"

"He told me that it would be easier just to step outside of Becca's bunker and let _Praimfaya _have me. He was right, but there was no honor in it. I had no clan and therefore no honor. It would have been terribly easy, but Bellamy cared too much to let me do it. He convinced that we might die in space. At least then, I would be among the old warriors and could find peace."

Octavia raised her head and regarded Echo. She realized then that Echo didn't even know why she really followed Bellamy that day. She'd cared for him since the mountain, but she denied it because she was the pet of _Azkwin. _A spy and a warrior who wouldn't even let her heart override her training. She blindly followed Nia to the point that it almost cost her, her life.

"You love him," Octavia said matter-of-factually, but it sounded more like an accusation.

Echo didn't deny it. She actually sat up straighter and met Octavia's eyes. Octavia smirked. She liked Echo's determination and her cockiness. It wasn't endearing, but she knew that Echo wasn't trying to be endearing.

"You don't have to deny it, Echo. He clearly loves you or he wouldn't have put up such a fight to get me to let you stay. I honestly don't care that you love him. I just find it odd that someone from your background is capable of such emotions."

"There is a lot about me that you don't know, Octavia," Echo replied as she bristled at Octavia's words.

"I am sure there is." Octavia said, "And that is why we are here. To see if you can convince me to lift your banishment. So far all you have going for you is that my brother loves you, but that doesn't help _Wonkru. _That is a personal reason and as _Blodreina, _I need you to give me a reason to trust you, Echo. I don't. I need you to give me a reason that I should let you join _Wonkru. _What is it that you can give us that possibly no one else can?"

Echo understood what she meant. She had warriors. She had people. What other skills did Echo have that would make her valuable enough to lift her banishment and allow her to join the clan. Echo lowered her eyes as she thought about it. She was a spy and sometimes assassin for Nia.

"I know that Diyoza is trying to get us to break and revolt against me. She made her point with the food and the offer of peace, but we both know that she isn't going to uphold her end of the bargain. We both know that her convict army will turn the Grounders into slaves. We don't want that to happen. She wants to live in peace at your expense.

"I know that the people think that I am harsh, but we have survived for over six years because of my harshness. We were only supposed to be in that bunker for five years. We had enough to survive for that long, but we made it work. We would have made it work longer if we needed. You cannot doubt that," Octavia told her.

"I don't. I know that you did what you had to do in order to keep everyone alive. I also know that you did what you thought was right to keep order among the mixed masses and you made them into one clan, with one mission," Echo stated.

"And, what is our mission, Echo?"

"To survive and not let man die out," Echo replied.

"And, do you think that we are still trying to do that?"

"I think that you are trying to protect your people from a new threat, a threat that we couldn't have dreamed of ever having to deal with. I know, first hand, that sometimes things have to happen to make the masses be swayed. I'll admit that I am not proud of everything that I did in service to Nia, but she was my Queen."

"And you served her with a blind loyalty," Octavia added.

"It wasn't blind, Octavia. There is more about my past that you don't know. No one knows, actually, but that doesn't matter. I was her spy and I did my job to keep my life. So, I am willing to do whatever you ask of me," Echo offered.

"And, if I told you to kill Bellamy?" Octavia inquired.

She saw Echo pause. She watched as Echo thought about how to answer the question. But, Echo actually surprised her when she finally did, seconds later.

"There is no right answer to that question."

"Explain," Octavia demanded, intrigued by Echo's statement.

"If I say that I will kill him, you won't trust me with him. You would poison our relationship no matter how strong it is and you would have every right as his sister. It would also show you that I hold no loyalty to anyone but myself, which before I was captured by the mountain was the truth. Bellamy and Lexa showed me a different path. No matter what it looked like, I was changing, but years of being Nia's pet as you've said, is hard to break. But if, I tell you that I won't do it, I look weak. And weakness is not something that you can have in your clan. I have to be able to pull my weight for the betterment of all."

"Smart answer," Octavia started, "But, if you had to, regardless of orders, kill my brother?"

"If I had to for survival, yes, I would. I would probably kill myself afterwards, but I would kill him if meant the difference between life or death. At the core, I am still a scared little girl that is doing everything that she can to survive," Echo answered.

Octavia watched her eyes. She didn't flinch once, but Octavia learned a lot from her in that moment. Echo was a survivor. She would side with whoever she thought had a better chance of getting through whatever, even if meant she had to betray those she care for. And, Echo was still alive. She could use that. Her love for Bellamy would be a weakness that Octavia could exploit. It wasn't something that she wanted to do, per say, but she wasn't totally against. Echo needed to prove herself and Octavia had to take the valley. Maybe Echo could be instrumental in helping that happen.

Cooper, Clarke, Monty and Bellamy burst into the room. Cooper looked pissed. Monty looked upset. Bellamy and Clarke looked hopeful.

"What is it?" Octavia asked annoyed that her talk with Echo was interrupted.

"I've done everything that I can from here. I can't get into their computers like I thought I could. I need to input this," Monty told her holding up a flash drive. "Then, I'll have full control. I've uploaded a virus on it. I just need to get to Raven."

"Out of the question," Cooper stated.

Octavia looked at him. She could tell that he was frustrated. He felt like he failed.

"You aren't going," Octavia told him.

"But, I need to get it to Raven. She'll be able to plant it and upload the virus and then..."

"You won't be able to do anything because you'll be stuck in Eden without access to any computers," Octavia stated.

"Then, I'll go," Bellamy said.

"She'll never believe that you've defected and came on your own, Bellamy. She knows that you are my brother. She'll kill you as soon as you step foot there. Or, she'll have watched. You won't be able to get close enough to Raven," Octavia explained.

"We can't let anyone go, _Blodreina._ It would look like we are giving in to her demands. The people will..."

"Enough, Cooper. Call off the patrols. Have the guards get me the names of those who wish to defect. I'll look through it. No one dies, today," Octavia told them.

Cooper looked pissed, but she saluted. She gave Echo a scathing look before she left to go do as ordered. She didn't bother to excuse herself as she pushed past Bellamy. She growled at him as she left, but she knew better than to say anything else aloud until she was alone with Octavia. For now, she would bite her tongue. She would make some plans to protect them either way. She wasn't going to let Bellamy destroy everything that they've built in that bunker.

"Smart move," Echo stated, as she eyed Cooper leaving.

"It's political. I need an inside man. I need someone who wants to be loyal, but doesn't have any true affiliation to us," Octavia said as she cocked her eyebrow at Echo.

"And a very publicly banished warrior would do it," Echo stated.

"You can't go alone," Bellamy added.

"I have to. This will prove to Octavia that I am not a threat and I'll earn my status as a clansman in _Wonkru. _I'm also someone who knows Raven and can come up with a plan once I'm in Eden to get her the drive. Kane knows that I was banished, so he'll be able to help me keep my cover. Some defectors will have to go as well or Diyoza won't believe that I'm with them at all."

"I know."

"But?" Clarke asked.

"We have to make it look like we're trying to stop them for her camera," Octavia replied.

"Sacrifice a few to save the many?" Bellamy questioned, astonished that Octavia was even entertaining the idea.

"Injure, not sacrifice. I'll make sure that they are warriors and willing. Abby will be able to take care of them. And, once they are in, they can start prepping for our arrival. Echo can use them to set up ambushes, traps and such. The easier it is to get into Eden, the more likely, I am willing to let her stay, big brother," Octavia answered.

"It could work. It will rally the troops and let everyone know that you mean what you say still. It will prove that you aren't weak," Echo said. "I'll make sure those who are injured are seen to and taken care of as well. I will make sure that things are prepared for your invasion, _ai Kwin."_

_"Not yet. We will see your worth, Eko. Don't betray us and you might find your place among us, again," _Octavia told her.

She nodded, making sure to cast her eyes downward.

"Monty, do whatever needs to be done and make sure that Echo is outfitted with the flash drive. It'll will need to be hidden on her person in such a manner that no one will see it or suspect it. Get with Niylah if you need to. She's basically in charge of all our gear. Clarke, please make sure that she has anything that she could possibly need to help her as well. You know the valley. We don't," Octavia told them.

Clarke nodded and smiled at her. She could see that Octavia was trying to be somewhat lenient. She knew that it was more her sake than Bellamy's. She would have been happy to let Echo rot in the desert, but Clarke asked her to try, so she was. It didn't necessarily feel right, but Clarke was the _Wanheda_ for a reason. She did command death on more than one level. Who was Octavia to argue with her about it? Besides, if Echo failed, Diyoza would kill her for Octavia.

"I don't like this," Bellamy stated.

"You don't have to like it, Bell, but it is what we are doing."

"If she's successful, she'll live?"

"If she's successful, she'll be _Wonkru,"_ was all the Octavia said.

She stood up from the table and left the building. She didn't wait for anyone to follow her, but she knew that Miller was close. She looked around the ruble and saw the fear and pain in everyone's eyes. She knew that she had to do something and she had to do something quickly before everything went sideways. She didn't want to stay in Polis. She didn't want to stay in the bunker, but she needed for them to prepare for the things to be stagnant for a while. When the time was right, they would take the valley. But, she also needed Diyoza to think that they were digging in. She made a mental note to seek out Monty as soon as he was done with Echo and Clarke.

"Harper?"

"Yeah?"

"When Monty and Clarke are done, can you both please come see me? I might have something else for him to do. I know that you both don't want to fight. And, you can trust me that it has nothing to do with fighting," Octavia told her.

"I'll tell him," Harper replied as she passed by and entered the bunker with Bellamy going with her.

When she stopped short before going inside, Miller came up beside her. He could tell that she was stressing about something but he didn't think that it was preparing to take the valley. He knew that Octavia felt things deeply, but he couldn't tell what was getting to her now. He knew that Diyoza move with the food was troubling, but most of the guards and the warriors were still supporting Octavia. And, those that didn't, well...they were being dealt with.

"Miller?"

"_Sha, Blodreina,_" he answered as he came up to her left side to stand beside her.

"Do you think that I am fool?"

"No, _Blodreina, _I don't. I never have. Sometimes you can be heavy handed, but in every instance, I believe that it was justified to maintain order. I don't see how that has changed," he replied.

"You are one of the few," Octavia told him.

"Has someone said something, Octavia?"

"Look around you, Miller. The people are scared, but they don't know what to be more afraid of, me or Diyoza. They know that I will kill them without a second thought. They don't know Diyoza. They don't know what she is capable of doing. She is a criminal from before the war. They see the food that I promised them from the valley just appear from the air. She promises peace with them. How can she offer something like that when she doesn't know what we are capable of doing? And, she has a crew of nothing but criminals, violent criminals. They were sent to space for a reason, Miller and now they are here. The people don't understand this."

"Then tell them," he suggested.

"They won't understand. The only ones who might would those from _Skaikru. _We've come together. The people would demand their deaths. They won't understand why they are still alive," Octavia reasoned.

"They don't understand that they came from the past, either," Miller added.

"Exactly. We get it. We understand what Chryo sleep is. We've been among the stars. We've lived up there. They've only known the Earth and the sets of rules that their clans had and then we have as _Wonkru. _There is no gray and I understand that. Just like on the Ark, there are times that things are only life or death. It was the same in the bunker. But, now..."

"Now?" he probed.

"We can change that. We are fighting to survive. We are fighting for the right to live on the only green space left. We are better than we were. We can make this place better than it was before, but we have to want it," Octavia stated.

"We do want it," Miller said.

"Do we? Do we really? Or, is war all we know?"

He didn't know to answer that. And, she wasn't really expecting one either. Instead, she turned and headed into the bunker and to her office. Before she entered, she stopped and turned back to Miller.

"Bring me two of your best, now," she commanded.

He nodded, saluted and then looked at Wayne. Wayne saluted him and took his position on the door. Another guard from the area took the other side as soon as he heard Miller call for him. When he was in place, Miller took off into the bunker looking for the men that Octavia requested. He didn't know why she'd requested them, but he knew that it was important. She must have thought of something for them to do. It had to be something specific and something that she only trusted her personal guards for and that told him exactly who he needed to go get.

Octavia sat down, heavily, in her chair behind her desk. She needed some of her councilors and she needed them quickly. But, she was beginning to doubt Cooper's abilities to serve her faithfully. She knew that Cooper would have to be watched. She was a zealot. She reminded Octavia of Gustus and she knew how that turned out. And, she was afraid that Cooper would turn on her. And, that was something that she wasn't willing to let happen.

Clarke came into the office. She didn't knock. Octavia cocked an eyebrow at her, but she knew that she wouldn't say anything against Clarke and Clarke knew it. She was pushing boundaries with Octavia on purpose and they both knew it. Octavia allowed it, because she wanted to know how far Clarke was willing to push it. Clarke did it to see how much Octavia was willing to let her get away with just because she was the _Wanheda._

"You look worried," Clarke said as she sat down.

"I am."

"About Echo?"

"No," Octavia said with a laugh.

"Then, what?"

"Cooper," Octavia stated.

Clarke nodded. She understood. The woman was a zealot and that made her dangerous both for and against her cause.

There was a knock at door. Miller opened it. There were some guards with him. Octavia nodded and they filed in. Behind them came Cooper, Bellamy, Harper, Monty and Echo. She could see the scowl on Cooper's face, but she was being quiet. She wasn't happy with the turn of events, but she was still loyal to Octavia...for now. They had a plan and now they needed to actually implement it. She also needed to get Cooper back in check. They all took seats around her desk. She motioned for Clarke and Miller to stay to her right, in positions of honor. Just as everyone had settled, there was another knock and Indra came in with her recruits.

"Ah, good, Indra, come in. Have the men been selected?"

"They have, _Blodreina."_

"And, this is them?"

"We are, _Blodreina,_" one of the men answered.

"And you know that you will be shot, injured, in order for us to successfully invade the valley?"

"We do, _Blodreina," _another replied.

"And, the sharp shooters?"

"All ready," Indra stated.

"Good."

They all waited to see what else Octavia was going to say. They knew that they had until sun down. The ship would be back in the dark. Diyoza was trying to help them move by using the shadows to get free. It was a legitimate plan, but Diyoza didn't have Clarke or Echo. She didn't have Monty.

"And, you, Echo, are you ready to lead your defectors to their new home?" Octavia asked her.

"I have my orders and my _gear_," she told Octavia.

"And do you have a message to give those who would help us?"

"I do."

"Good. Then everyone rest for now. The sun will be going down in a few hours. Please make sure that you all eat. This is not going to be an easy mission for any of you. This is why you've been chosen. Once everything is set up in the valley and Echo has met with her contact she will let you. At that point, you will do as she says and help her prepare for our coming. It will take us days to arrive. Dig in, act like good little defectors and don't let Diyoza or any of her people think otherwise. Your lives are at stake. We will get word to you when we are going to strike. If for some reason, you find Murphy or Emori, send them to Echo. She will brief them and get them on board with the plan. At no time should you betray _Wonkru _or Echo. The defectors don't know that she's going as my spy."

"_She's not Wonkru, Blodreina. She is Azgeda and Nia, the betrayer's pet. How can we trust her?" _one of the warriors asked.

Octavia started to give him an answer before Clarke stood up and turned to face him. Her eyes weren't as wild as Octavia had ever seen them, but they were dancing with mischief at the least. She eyed the warrior in front of her. A mountain of a man like most _Trikru_, she studied his tattoos and clothes.

"_Trikru?"_ Clarke asked him.

"_Ai laik Wonkru," _he replied.

"You are _Wonkru,_ now. But, you were once _Trikru, _yes? Do you know who I am?"

"_Yu laik Wanheda."_

"That's right, I am _Wanheda. Eko ste ai gona. Em gau raun ai hedplei gon gyon au. Eki laik ai. Jomp om em, jomp om ai."_

There was a hiss through out the room. Octavia just cocked an eyebrow at the man. It was true that she hadn't expected Clarke to claim Echo as her own, but in doing so, she was setting her up with a place of honor. It was also paving the way for Echo to be able to join _Wonkru_. Making her _Wanheda's_ warrior made her deadly in the eyes of the men that she would eventually be commanding. Threatening the warriors with the simple phrase of "attack her, attack me," was enough to make them think before they did anything against Echo while they were in valley awaiting the army. Clarke knew exactly what she had done. It wasn't planned, that much was obvious, but she'd saved Echo's life and given her a chance to prove to those men and by extension Octavia that she was indeed _Wonkru _and deserved to have her banishment lifted.

"_Sha, Wanheda_," they all replied.

"Now that that's settled, go. Miller, you and Clarke, stay. We have much to discuss. Harper, Monty, will you give me a minute before you go. Please."

Everyone left, except those asked to stay. Octavia stood and rounded the desk. She didn't want it between them. These were her friends once, part of the hundred. She hoped that it would be enough and that they would help her.

"Monty, Harper, I know that you don't want to fight. I thank you for your services to _Wonkru. _You have both more than earned your place among us. But, I have one thing that I would ask that you do while we are still here in the bunker, waiting," Octavia stated.

"What?"

"Work in the farm. Get it working again. She what you can do to make it prosperous. And, if that works, could you do something for the land."

"You don't want the valley to be our only option, do you?" Harper asked her.

"No, I don't. We have to fix the world and repopulate it. You are the best at growing things, Monty. Can you do this? Can you get us food?"

"I'll see what I can do until Raven calls."

"That is all I ask. If you need anything, speak with Niylah. She'll get it for you," Octavia told them.

"Okay," Monty replied before taking Harper's hand and leaving the office.

"Any further orders for me, _Blodreina?" _Miller asked.

"Yes. I want you to have your best on Cooper. She's up to something and I want to be ahead of it. Can your men blend in with the farm?"

"If they can't, I will say that they are there for Monty and Harper," Miller stated.

"Good, brief them and Monty. If Monty asks, tell him it is necessary to keep the peace. And, if he runs across anything that Cooper is doing," Clarke started.

"He is to report it to one of you?"

"_Sha, Mila."_

_"Sha, Blodreina, Wanheda," _he answered and saluted before leaving, grabbing the two guards that he'd pulled earlier.

Octavia walked across the office to her couch and sat down on it. She let her head loll back and she let out a heavy sigh. Arms out, across the back of the couch, she tried to relax, but she couldn't. There was too much to do and too much on her mind.

"Octavia?"

"Yes, Clarke?"

"Since we have until after sundown, do you think that you might want to talk to me, now?"

Octavia's head popped up off the couch. She stared into Clarke's blue eyes. There was something there, something that she couldn't define and she wasn't sure that she wanted to, anyway. Clarke had backed her idea with Echo. Clarke was backing her decisions. She knew that Clarke didn't do that lightly. She also wondered why she was so ready to send Echo back. There were other questions, but Octavia for the life of herself couldn't remember when Clarke was looking at her like that.

"Octavia?"

"Hmm?"

"Are we going to talk about what happened in the desert or are we just going to keep avoiding it while we're alone?"

"I am not sure what you want me to say," Octavia said.

"How about we start with the fact that knelt before me and begged me...You begged me, Octavia, to command you? Or, we could talk about your little tantrum in the tent before your nap? Or, the way you looked at me while I was patching you up? Or, the way that you called Madi my daughter and that you would protect her?"

"What part did you not understand, Clarke? I am doing my best here. I am trying to keep us all alive. I am trying to keep everyone from imploding just because we're back on the surface. I am trying to find a way to your mother and to save her from those maniac criminals. I am trying to keep the loss of life to a minimum. I asked for your help because it'd cement things among the superstitious. You understood that. You are the 'Commander of Death.' Hell, even you believe that you can command who lives or dies. You commanded me to live, but you didn't say a word to Oblika as he was dying from that venomous worm. I am doing my best here," Octavia stated as she stood up and crossed the room to where Clarke was standing in three easy strides. "I am trying my best. I am doing the best that I can with what I have, just like I have done for the last six and half years. Just like you I was alone, but I had to make decisions in order for us to survive. Did I make mistakes? Yes, we all did. And, I've paid for every single one of those mistakes. Every death that occurred in this bunker weighs on my head. Each death made the crown heavier. So forgive me for wanting understanding from someone else who knows how hard it is to bear the weight of crown, real or imaginary, upon their head."

Octavia knew that her eyes held so much emotion in that moment. She wasn't trying to hide it. She couldn't, not from Clarke. She could make out the rapid rise and fall of Clarke's chest in the periphery. She stared into pupil-blown azure. Her own breathing speeding up and becoming a little more shallow. She was nervous. She had right to be with Clarke. Their eyes battled, but she wasn't sure if it was for dominance, supplication, or submission. Finally, it had all become too much, the emotions, the events, everything. She leaned forward and took two small steps until she was almost upon Clarke. Their eyes never wavered and in a shear moment of absolute frailty on Octavia's part, she burst through the dams that she's erected in the bunker and let her emotions pour out of her. She leaned into Clarke's body, smelling her and gentleness of the valley still clinging to her clothes, and kissed her.


	26. Chapter 26

**Chapter 26**

**One thousand forty-two days after ****_Praimfaya_**

She sat in her office and sighed. Things had gone terribly wrong. And, now...they were scrambling to make do with what they did have. She'd read the reports. She'd seen the evidence for herself. The farm had failed. What little Cooper was managing to produce was being made into soups with the mushrooms and they were eating as much bug bread as possible. Engineering, the Farm, and Abby were working to figure out how to fix things. It wasn't a worst case scenario plan anymore; they were in it. She knew that they were doing their best and she'd already ordered Cooper to reduce rations to the barest possible, but children were still given full rations. She wouldn't make them suffer. She knew that the adults could do without for longer.

The days were getting longer due to the lack of food. They were working on a solution. She had Indra cut back on the training unless it was for disciplinary reasons. She was doing everything that she could to make sure that the people were cared for and that they were going to survive. She wasn't going to let this break them. It couldn't.

Everyone worked the farm for their sunlight requirements to be met. They weren't dumb. They knew that the Farm wasn't producing what it should. They still worked though, while the actual farmers were in the lab. Octavia was proud of what Cooper was trying to do.

Working with Abby, they were splicing DNA from different crops and putting it back together in the lab to make hardier, sturdier crops. They were working towards crops that didn't need as much water or nutrient rich soil. Those that they had started with were actually showing promise, but they were slow growing. So back to the lab they went. Getting faster growing, bigger producing crops was now the goal in the lab. And, every day they came to tell Octavia of their gains and misses. It was Cooper's hope that once they got the new crops growing that they could use the water previously allocated for the Farm to try harder with the fish. They all knew that it was a long shot, but having some other form of protein, even if it was only for one meal a week would take some of the burden off of the farm. The mushrooms were helping as well.

"We've made some great strides with some of the beans," Cooper told her.

"And, the new crop?"

"Should be in ready in a few days," Cooper replied.

"And, the crop after?"

"Two weeks to full growth."

"And, this is good?"

"Yes, we've cut the growth cycle in half. That gives us more production and more beans more often, which means more beans to eat. With the mess cooks, we are working on new recipes, but it all depends on what other crops we can get to respond to the accelerated growth schedules, too," Cooper explained.

"And, what about the leaching and soil issues?"

"We're keeping the stocks from the harvested plants and using them to help make fertilizer."

"So, we shouldn't have this problem again?" Octavia questioned.

"We're hoping not, but now the lab will be working on more crops. Each upgrade helps us survive longer. Davis has a plan for the plants to pull all the moister that they need from the air, but it is still in its early phases. It shows great promise, but he still has a lot work to do before I believe that it will be viable."

"Keep him on it. The better we can do, the longer we can last. Keep track of resources though, if it becomes too much, he'll have to scale down. I like the idea though. Good job, Cooper," Octavia told her.

"_Sha, ai Blodreina," _Cooper replied, saluted and left the office.

Octavia noted her behavior. Cooper was becoming more and more vigilant when it came to their survival. She also whole-heartedly support Octavia, no matter the issue. She made a mental note to talk to Indra and Miller about her, but as long as she was toeing the line, Octavia would let her be. She knew that they needed Cooper, no matter how deep her crazy went. She was the head of the farm and until Octavia felt comfortable with someone else being in charge of the Farm. Until then, she'd watch her and wait for the crazy to become too much. Kara had her moments and she'd come through for the bunker since her coup, but she was still volatile.

Octavia closed her eyes. She willed herself to believe that they would make it. Some days it was harder than others, but she as determined to take as many of them with her to the surface as she could. Even if getting back to the surface was a pipedream, she would hold on to it until she couldn't. Clarke hadn't given up hope that Bellamy, Raven and the rest of them coming back, so she wouldn't either. She knew that with Clarke and Madi alone, they couldn't get out. Telling the engineers what she knew about what was on top of them meant she had to disclose the radio. She wasn't willing to do that, not yet anyway. But, she still had them working on ways out, futile as it seemed. It was amazing what she could come up with for punishments.

"_Osleya," _Gaia greeted her as she came in the office.

"_Ticha," _Octavia said in return.

"Good news from the farm, today?"

"Better than it was last week, yes. What is it that I can do for you, Gaia? Are there issues with the children?"

"No, the _goufa_ are good, but hungry. They are surprised that you haven't cut their rations. So of the rest of us, understand, but others don't."

"I don't need to explain myself to anyone, Gaia. My word is law. You made sure of that with your support. So, what do you need?"

"No, _ai Osleya, _you don't. But, there is talk. Some of the former Azgeda are speaking of dealing with the children to make more food for the rest of us."

"MILLER!"

Her guard stormed in the office, hand on his sword, ready to strike down whoever dared harmed Octavia. His head whipped around looking for a threat, before he came up short in front of Octavia's desk. He looked from Gaia back to Octavia and back again.

"Prepare the pits."

Gaia and Miller looked startled. Gaia sat quietly. She knew better than to try sway Octavia's mind. Her reasoning might not make sense in the beginning, but it usually did in the long run. Her years of reading and seeing what politics had done on the Ark had given her a very skewed view of the world. And, Gaia knew that her ability to use Grounder politics against them made her a very formidable political opponent. She also knew that her own mother, Indra, supported Octavia completely and until that wavered the army would as well. Miller stood there, rigid, and awaiting orders.

"Gaia has mentioned that some of our brethren from Azgeda are questioning my decisions concerning rationing. Do me a favor and ask them to come forward? I want to speak to them personally. And, tell Wayne to prepare my blades," Octavia stated with murder in her eyes.

Gaia knew then what was about to happen and it wasn't going to be pretty. Those men would as well as soon as they were thrown in the pit. Octavia was about to prove once again that less mouths to feed meant more food for everyone else. The people had become complacent and they needed to be brought back down. Octavia wasn't afraid of them. She wasn't afraid to die, either. But, Gaia knew that she would survive. She would be triumphant and they were be less a few more men by the end of the day. It wasn't an ideal solution, but it would get the people back in line.

He saluted and left. Octavia just watched Gaia though. She hadn't turned her attention from the young woman. She knew that as soon as Kane and Abby heard what she was ordering that they would be in the office. They would try to dissuade her and she would listen. She would and she might actually take it into account. She doubted that she would fully, but she would still give them the opportunity to speak out against it, even if it was only in private.

"Anything else?"

"_Sha, Blodreina,_" Gaia stated.

"What?"

"Ethan would like to spar with the young _gona."_

"Is he not?"

"He hasn't progressed enough to fight them."

"Is he not big enough?"

"He lacks the ... will, _Osleya," _Gaia stated.

"Then work him harder. Remind him that he wanted to be a warrior. Give him shifts with Indra and Miller. Work him into it, Gaia. He can't be weak. He knows that. Teach him to be the warrior he can be and we'll go from there," Octavia told her. "Push him harder. Make him an example if you must, but push him."

"And, you, _Osleya?_ Will you push him as well?" Gaia asked her.

"I will."

"I will go get him. Maybe it would be good for him to see the pits tonight. Would that be good?"

"Yeah, that'll be fine. He needs to toughen up. He won't make it on the surface if he isn't tough."

"_Sha, Blodreina," _Gaia replied.

Octavia knew that she was waiting to be dismissed, but she didn't care. Waving her head at Gaia and then door, she hoped that the darker woman got the point and just left. She had enough to deal with for the bunker to worried about one boy, even if he was her charge. But the longer she thought about it, the more she realized that she'd left him basically to Kane and Abby to raise. Of course, they would test her battle hardened theories for survival. She knew that they had points, but points didn't keep anyone alive. They didn't feed the hungry. And, points certainly didn't deal with wolves that growled at the door in the middle of the night. No, the boy needed to toughen up and he would. She would make sure of it.

She hung her head. This was not something that she wanted to deal with, but she knew that she had to. Just like the people that thought that making the children suffer would benefit them more. Thankfully there were no small children. They were young, but the youngest wasn't but seven now. They were all smart children and she was proud of them. They deserved to be rewarded for their service their loyalty to the bunker and to _Wonkru. _They all took jobs as well, mostly on the farm, but they were still working. They had their schooling, their farm work and their training, they didn't have time to worry about dying. That was an adult problem.

There was a knock at the door. She quickly schooled herself. She figured it was Miller and she was right as he poked his head around the door frame, making sure it was okay to enter.

"What news?"

"There were five takers," he reported.

"And, where are they now?"

"I've had them put into an old sparring room near the pit. We've used in the past as a holding cell for some of the fighters. They have no idea why they are there except to speak to you about rations, _ai Blodreina. _Should I tell them?"

"Are they armed?"

"Minimally," Miller told her.

"Strip them down and then, we'll go talk to them. Get Indra as well. Threat them with extra duty if they won't give up anything. And, remember that they are enemies of _Wonkru. _Do not expect them to cooperate. Take as many guards as you need. Tell them that they are being questioned about their loyalty to _Wonkru._ That should spur them on a little," Octavia commanded.

"As you command, _Blodreina," _he replied and left the office just as quickly as he came.

Octavia sat back in the seat and looked at the ceiling. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. She didn't want to kill, but the _Azgeda_ survivors tested her more than the rest. They only rivaled those from _Skaikru, _especially those who weren't part of the hundred. There were so few of each clan that she feared them actually dying out in the bunker. She knew she had to make them examples. She had to maintain the order of the bunker and her rule, or they would all die.

"Bellamy?" Clarke's voice called through the office.

Octavia slammed forward in the chair. Her hands beat the desk as she back away. Her head hung down. She couldn't hear Clarke today. She felt like a failure. Even though Clarke couldn't hear her, she felt like she'd betrayed her somehow. She couldn't hear her hopefulness when she had to go squash another coup. Killing people didn't make for good conversation, even if it was one sided.

She walked across the room. She set the radio to record Clarke's message for the day. She might listen to it later, but for now, she wouldn't hear it. She needed to get her mind right for the task at hand.

Minutes later, Indra knocked before entering. She looked at Octavia and knew that she didn't want to do this, but it had to be done. She walked in the office and gathered Octavia's armor and cloak. Without words, Indra helped her into her lift armor. She belted her sword at her side, proud that Octavia still carried the one that Lincoln had given her. As soon as she was ready, Iher a fashioned the cloak over her shoulders. She stepped back and surveyed Octavia.

"Am I ready, _ai Fos?" _Octavia asked her.

"_Sha, Blodreina," _Indra stated.

Octavia nodded and they left the office. As they headed down to the room just off the Pit, she felt the air around them change. She knew it was all in her head, but it felt the same as it did belle she entered the conclave. She held her head high as she entered the room. Miller, Wayne, Obika, and Timo were guarding the group, who looked less than enthused to be there. They were I their knees, mostly put there by the guards, awaiting their fate, good or bad, to be determined by her.

"Who among you calls himself your leader?" Octavia asked them.

No one moved. They all stared at her. She cocked her head ave watched them all. It was something that Indra had taught her. She glanced at then one at a time. It was a piercing stare and one meant to make them uneasy. She knew immediately won was their ringleader by the constant movement in their eyes. She circled them, toying with them for a moment, as she let her sadistic side out.

Drawing a knife from her side, a gift from Ethan, she paced around them and questioned again, "Who among you is in charge of this pathetic rabal?"

Again, no one but Octavia moved. She was quickly losing her patience with them. She watched and waited. When still no one spoke up, she walked up become the man that everyone had been silently questioning with their eyes. She grabbed his head and pulled it back into her torso. She had a death grip on him as she raised the knife to his neck. She gave the other four men a sadistic smile as she pressed harder into his flesh.

"Will no one speak?" she asked them.

She could feel him swallowing hard beneath her fingers. Her grip never wavered as she watched the other four stare at him. They were waiting for a signal or something from him that they were never going to get. He wouldn't betray himself. He already knew he was dead and she knew he knew.

"Fine, don't tell me. I'll deal with you all individually then," Octavia started. "Starting with you!"

She movloved her knife away from the man she was holding's neck and pointed out at the youngest among them. He didn't look older than a teenager, but Octavia knew better. Age meant nothing on the battlefield, skill and luck did. This boy had it in spades it seemed. She watched as he gulped, still trying to figure out what he should do, betray his kinsmen and clansmen, or tell Octavia the truth.

"I'm waiting, boy!" She shouted, "His life is your hands. What will it be? Life with hard labor? Death as punishment? Or to the Pit? You, sir, get to decide."

Indra liked amused at this. It was better than a thousand cuts because he had the possibility to live. But, was his life worth it?

"I...I..."

"Speak up, boy. Be the warrior they've trained you to be. What is his fate?"

The teen staredat her. She could see the anger building and knees exactly when he'd lost the fight. His eyes got the for and didn't look up. It was a sign our shame.

"His hand is Dar. He is our leader. He thinks you are starting your army in order to fatten up the children. He thinks the children _are_ weak and should be made to be tougher."

"How?" Octavia inquired simply.

"That cannot be warriors if thye are fat. That cannot be warriors if they are soft. They cannot be warriors if they don't have the hardships of life," the teen answered.

"Does he have children?"

"No, _Blodreina_," he answered.

"Did he have children before?"

"No."

"Do you?"

"No."

"Did they?"

"No."

"I did," one of the men said raising his eyes to Octavia's.

"And, do they live?"

"No, they died with my wife in _Praimfaya," _he told her.

"Very well, then. See that or our father here is given an orphan to train, a second to teach, and a child to care for," Octavia commanded. "The boy will join the guard. Miller give him to...give him to Timo."

"And the rest?" Indra asked her.

"To the Pit. Less mouths are less mouths. Besides, I think we have a few criminals to fight now," Octavia answered.

"These three," Kara added.

"That's enough to punish a coup is it not, Cooper? Only one of them will live and he'll be Indra's slave. So, is food worth this fate or not?"

She stated to walk away and then turned back, "Miller mate she they don't spill the fun before the show. I would hate to have to kill them all myself. Besides I know that Indra had been working on that tunnel near the door. We could use few good workers there. Put them to work while we everyone the Pit. They are never to be left alone. Two guards per all day everyday until the Pit. Let's see what a few days as Indra's slave do to loosen their tongues a bit more."

"_Sha, Blodreina_."

She walked out the room as she sheathed her knife. She stomped back to get her office. She knew Cooper and knees are following.

"Prepare the Pit. Two days Indra. Break them in less," she commanded.

" As you wish, _ an Osleya."_

_"Dismissed," _ she told them with a wave of her hand.

After they left, she made her way over to the radio desk. She sat down hard. Rewinding the recording to the beginning for today, she pressed play and waited for Clarke's vice to come through the speaker and calm her.

"Bell...I'm thinking Octavia was right. Pile needed to die. He killed so many and he was poisoning the people's minds. I wonder now how many more lives I could have saved of I had just killed Emerson like I wanted to...revenge it's never easy even when it is just..."


	27. Chapter 27

**Chapter 27**

Octavia stood outside the bunker and watched as Echo and the rest of those defecting started working their way to the edge of Polis. Miller came up behind her. She knew why he hadn't been with her for the last few minutes.

"Everything ready?"

"_Sha, Blodreina,_" he replied.

"Good. Let Echo get most of the clear before you have the sharpshooters open fire. Their targets are marked, correct?"

"_Sha, Bloreina, just as you ordered,_" he told her.

She nodded as she stood there. Miller was waiting as ordered and they could both see the people that had taken up residence in the dilapidated city watching them. She knew that he was waiting for the order to fire. He would have made himself one of the sharpshooters because it was his own men that he was sending into the fray.

She stood there. She didn't know how she felt about the entire situation. She was sending Echo on a spy mission. It was what she was trained for, but Echo was necessarily loyal to her or to _Wonkru._ She had proven to be loyal to Bellamy, but Octavia wasn't sure that was going to be enough for her to actually trust her. This mission would erase some of her actions, but Octavia knew that she would never forget them. Echo might be allowed in, but she would always be watched. It was a small concession, mostly for Bellamy's sake, and they both knew it.

"We are going to fire above and at the ship first," Miller told her.

"Make them fun for it?"

"Yes, but the ones we are supposed to hit will stay in the back and make sure that those leaving get to the ship first."

"Good," Octavia said.

She just watched as Echo moved through the streets. She was keeping to the shadows and had a group of people behind her. She was leading them out. At one point, she looked up to where Octavia was standing. There was a silent salute via hand signals and then she lead the people out of Polis.

"Fire at will," Octavia ordered.

Shots rang out. The concussion echoed through the fallen buildings. She stood there, resolute, and with a sneer on her face. She wasn't happy. She didn't like loosing people and she didn't want to hurt anyone, but she knew that they had to make it look more believable for Diyoza. If no one got hurt, Diyoza would believe that she could take them easily. She couldn't let Diyoza have any sort of advantage. She needed her to be worried about the rest of those that were still in Polis.

Miller finally stopped firing. The ship closed and took off from the outskirts of Polis and headed back for Eden. She was angry. It wasn't an ideal situation, but she had to work with what she had. Closing her eyes, she willed herself to not be so angry. She'd sent her spy and some guards. They would get word back to her and cause issues for Diyoza as only Grounders could. A small smile crossed her face. Grabbing her cloak, she turned from where she was standing and started to make her way back down to the bunker.

"I'm tired, Miller."

"I'll keep everyone away," he replied.

"Thank you," she stated as they worked their way down and back to her office.

"_Blodreina," _he started as they neared the office door.

"What?"

"_What of your brother and her?" _he asked, not wanting to be too loud or say it in English for them to understand.

Octavia looked up and saw both Bellamy and Clarke standing there, waiting. She sighed. She couldn't imagine what they wanted from her now. Echo was on her way. They would hopefully have communication with those still in Eden soon. There was nothing else for them to worry about. There was nothing else for them to discuss, unless they wanted to make battle plans. Then, she saw Gaia, Niylah and Madi heading for the office as well. She wanted to hang her head.

"_There is no rest for the weary,_" she mused.

"_Do you want me to send them away? I will bar them from entry, Blodreina. You need to rest. You are still getting well and the people need to see you at your best. They will understand. I will make them. That is what I am here for, ai Blodreina," _he told her.

"That you are, Miller. That you are, but they will not leave, especially Clarke. Is the other door still accessible?"

"_Sha," _he answered.

"Send Timo and two others. I'll go down and come back up that way. Clarke and Madi are the only ones allowed in my quarters. Send the rest away," she told him as they came to a stop near the ramp up to the office.

"Take Berg and Ford with you. He'll stay with you until I can get Timo and the others to you. Take your time, _Blodreina. _I'll take care of the rest of them," Miller stated.

Berg moved up from his position at hearing his commander's words. He was a big and burly man. Ford moved as soon as Miller gave her a look. She was a very slight woman, but she was a scrapper. Her dark blond hair and dark skin marked her as from the Plain Riders. Octavia looked at them both and smiled. She nodded at them and then they all turned to take the alternate route into her office and bedroom.

She heard Bellamy shout at her as she moved away and into the bunker. She also heard him be quickly quieted by Miller. She loved that boy. He was good to her and he deserved so much more than being the captain of the guard, but he wouldn't take it. He was too humble for that and she knew it. She also knew that he liked his position. She was proud to be her personal guard and the head of the guard period. It also afforded him more time with Jackson. She smiled at the thought. They were perfect for each other and she promised herself to keep them together as long as she could.

As they worked their way around and to the other entrance, Octavia hoped that Echo would succeed quickly. She hated waiting and she knew that she would have to wait to attack again. They couldn't just cross the desert and there were other things that needed to be dealt with. One of which was Cooper and the other was the farm. She didn't want to let the bunker go. She knew that it would hold things that they would need in Eden. Plus, it would be good to have somewhere to go if they had to, if for some reason Eden failed. She liked to have back up plans. Polis and the bunker would be the back up.

They walked through the bunker. Some of the people eyed her. It was to be expected. By now, word that she had opened fire on the defectors would have spread to those that stayed. She didn't mean to be such a tyrant, but she didn't know how else to protect them all from Diyoza. She knew that they wouldn't understand it because they didn't know Diyoza. Sure, she attacked them, but then she gave them an out. She'd offered peace and Octavia had spurned her. That was all they knew, but they also knew that Octavia had Clarke and as long as she had Clarke, they would give her the benefit of the doubt.

Octavia lead them to the back door of her bedroom. It was something that Cadogan obviously had put in as a safety measure for himself. There wasn't an alternate exit out of the bunker, but he had his own way to get to it through a separate hallway and this back door. She was sure that he didn't share that knowledge with many. It hadn't been many times that she'd used this entrance anyway. And, besides her guards, the only other person that knew of the hallway was Gaia. She found out later it was because Gaia would come there to pray. And, then she found the giant sacred symbol on the wall and realized that Gaia wasn't praying to the goddesses that the Grounders followed but Becca _Praimheda_ herself. She stopped in front of it and placed her hands on the symbol.

"_Blodreina?_" Berg asked when she stopped.

"_I'm just giving thanks to Beka."_

_"Beka?"_

_"Praimheda, she buried behind there, I believe. Cadogan kept her close to not make her a martyr and he failed. She started all the krus and the hedas. She was your salvation before you knew that you needed it. She protected us here. Her knowledge made Wanheda stronger, better, and helped her survive Praimfaya. Beka gave us the hedas," _Octavia told them.

"_But, the hedas are no more. We have you now, Blodreina. We do not need the hedas," _Berg replied.

"That maybe true, Berg, but she still saved us. We owe her to remember her and what she did for us. The _hedas_ may be no more, but that doesn't mean that we forget our past or where we came from," she told him.

_"Sha,_ Blodreina," he stated and bowed his head.

She nodded back to him and they continued down the corridor. When she made it to the door, she opened it and walked inside. She didn't even turn to close the door. She knew that they would. And, sure enough, she heard the door close. She also knew in that moment that she was alone. It was the first time in a long time that she was honestly alone. There were no guards, no council members, no one asking for her opinion or advise or needing her to approve something. And, yes, the guards were on the other side of the door, but they weren't be intrusive. They were giving her privacy, on both doors.

She walked further into her bedroom and over to the bed. She fell down upon it, landing and bouncing slightly in the middle of it. She closed her eyes for just a second before she realized that she was still in her armor. Her cloak was still attached and she needed to remove it all before she even dared to dream about sleep. She opened her eyes and rolled up. Getting up off the bed, she moved to a chair across the room and began to remove everything down to her ribbed black tank and her pants. She took off her belt and dropped her sword into the chair. She ran her hand around the back of her pants and felt the knife that stayed there. Closing her eyes, she smiled.

She was always armed. It was something that both Indra and Gaia agreed on, and something that Miller insisted on. She laughed at him. They knew she could fight, but that didn't mean that she would always be able to get out everything. In fact, Indra taught her to fight dirty and make sure that she always found a way out, stating "living was more important than not having a leader." Octavia didn't understand what she meant at first, but then she remembered how many times Lexa survived things that she shouldn't have, or she was where she shouldn't be. Octavia always had to be ready and two steps ahead of her enemies, real or not. And, now that was Diyoza.

Huffing she went back to the bed and plopped down, again. She didn't have the energy to pretend to care. She just wanted things to be better, but she had to wait. She knew that it was a good plan, even if she didn't like it. She wanted to shut out the world and just sleep for days, but she knew she couldn't. There were plenty of things to do, but Miller was right, too. She was stressing too much and she needed to rest while they others did their jobs. It was hard, but she knew she had to do it. She would have to push her personal feelings down and out of the way. She was their leader, but she wouldn't be able to lead if she couldn't function.

She shifted her arm. It was still stiff, but it didn't hurt that much. She reached over and touched the few stitches that Clarke had given her. She was better than her mother in sewing people up. Her stitches were tighter and closer together, but she figured it was just because Clarke was still a young _fisa._ She took her time while Abby knew the importance of closing the wounds quickly. She didn't mean to compare the two, but she couldn't help it. She missed Abby's quiet, constant presence. She didn't realize how much she needed her until that moment. She wasn't just Clarke's mother, she was also Octavia's. She flexed her arm again and closed her eyes.

She knew that sleep would be a long time in coming. She couldn't shut off her mind. They weren't in the woods getting ready for a fight. She couldn't just tell herself to sleep because she knew that there things that she needed to do and address. She rarely took time for herself and it was probably not a good time to do it, but she knew that Miller had her back and he wasn't going to let anyone disturb her.

Her eyes popped open. She heard the faint sound again behind her, coming from her office. She didn't move. She didn't even twitch, thanks to Indra's teachings. She waited as she listened, trying to pinpoint exactly where the sound was coming from and who it was. Being the leader of over eight hundred, she had amazingly learned everyone's sounds in movements. It was hard, but it had saved her numerous times while sparring and other situations that she didn't know the full extent of because she addressed the person before they could do anything to her.

She made sure that she kept her breathing even. She didn't move. She just listened, but as she did so, she slid her right hand under her back to the handle of the knife that was there. She heard the movement get closer to the door separating the office and the bedroom. She knew she had to make her move now or they would be able to rush her before she had a chance to defend herself.

She flew over the bed and was on her bare feet. The knife had been thrown at the door, but at the last minute, she decided to pull it to the left a bit. It landed in the door frame solidly. She was already at her belt drawing her sword when she realized that it was Madi who was in the doorway. She dropped her sword and ran to the frightened girl.

"MADI!" Clarke yelled from the other room as Octavia gathered her up in a hug.

"I'm sorry..." they both said to each other.

"I didn't want to wake you," Madi offered dumbly.

"I...I'm sorry if I scared you," Octavia told her.

Octavia pushed her away to look her over again. Her bright, blue eyes were huge, but she didn't move as Octavia checked her. She didn't move away as Clarke did the same. When Clarke was happy that Madi was safe and unharmed, she turned to look at Octavia. The fire and ire in her eyes was very telling and it made Octavia shiver.

"What were you thinking?" she questioned as she tore into Octavia.

"I didn't know it was her," Octavia lamented.

"And, you didn't think to ask?"

"Would you?" Octavia inquired with a cocked eyebrow.

"What are you talking about?"

"I am trying to make sure that everyone lives, plan a war, and keep too many people from defecting. And, in doing all of that, I know that I've pissed a lot of people off. Is it so wrong that I would think that someone would try to kill me?" Octavia questioned. "I didn't hit her. That should worry you both more. If I can't hit a target with a knife, what good am I on the field of battle leading the army? But, I didn't hit her. I scared her, sure, but she is unharmed."

Clarke just stared at her. Madi smiled. Looking from Clark to Octavia, she knew that she had to do something to break the tension between them.

"She's right, Clarke. I should have said something so that she knew it was me coming in here to check on her. You would have reacted badly if we were back in the valley. You've done it before," Madi stated and Octavia gave Clarke a pointed look.

"Yes, well, that was because..."

"It is the same. She's _Skairipa. She's a gona. She has to be ready to defend herself, especially being in her position. You told me that Lexa was always ready to," _Madi started.

"Okay. Okay. Drop it, Madi. And, use English. We've talked about this. Not everyone speaks _Trig_ here," Clarke told her.

"Actually...they do," Octavia said.

"What?" Clarke asked.

"They've all been taught. Everyone in the bunker speaks both _Gonaslenge en Trigedaslenge._ It was one of my first mandates. We needed to be able to communicate with each other. Gaia and Kane were in charge of the schooling. Some of them even learned to read _Gonaslenge."_

Clarke looked at her like she had three heads. Shaking her head, she pushed Madi back into the office. She stood up and looked at Octavia. She shook her head at the dark haired woman before her.

"You scared her," Clarke accused.

"I didn't...I'm sorry."

"Octavia...I get it. I do, really. It's just that...she's..."

"Your daughter?"

"Yes," Clarke answered exasperatedly.

"I...is there something that you wanted to talk to me about, Clarke?"

"I wanted to talk to you about earlier," Clarke stated.

"There is nothing to talk about. I'm tired. It's been a really long and trying day. Feel free to stay in here though. I know that you don't want her expose to Gaia, but you need to be aware that Niylah has bought into _Wonkru, _Clarke. She isn't the same person that she was before she came into the bunker. Six years in here will change even the best of us."

"I know. I am not the same, either, Octavia. I want to see her. I want to talk to her, but I don't know that we could ever be together again. I am not saying that it's me or her; I'm saying that things are different for us all. My priorities have changed. I am not only worried about getting to Mom and getting her away from Diyoza, but I have to make sure that Madi survives and gets to go home. That valley is more hers than anyone else's, Octavia. But, I also know that she'll put me first because she doesn't want to lose me," Clarke told her.

"Can you blame her?" Octavia ask her. "You're all she has left, Clarke. She would do anything for you and she will if she thinks that it will help you, no matter how dangerous it is. Kind of like you climbing a tower and move a satellite dish to make sure that Bell, Raven and them got into the Go-Sci ring, yeah?"

"I hate it when you're right," Clarke muttered.

"I do, too," Octavia replied as she moved further into the bedroom.

Octavia sat down in the chair and looked at Clarke. She was waiting to see if Clarke was going to sit or if she was going to leave. Clarke watched her. She could see the worry in Octavia's eyes.

"You are actually worried about them, aren't you?"

"Did you honestly think I was so callus?"

"Have you met Indra?" Clarke asked sarcastically.

"She isn't callus, Clarke. She's a seasoned warrior. She know that emotions cloud a warrior's judgement, but even in the end, she was rooting for you and Lexa. She saw how you pushed Lexa and made her better. She won't admit it, but she was glad that Lexa found you," Octavia told her.

"Was she now?"

"Look. We had plenty of time to talk about various subjects while we were here. Some things were bound to come that were both taboo and strange for us to contemplate, especially after listening to you on the radio some mornings. I couldn't help it. I wanted to know, so I asked. That was the one thing that everyone could agree on who decided to mentor me."

"What was that?" Clarke inquired.

"Knowledge is power."

"It really is. So, what did you learn from listening to me? How to punish yourself? How to always question if there was another way for you to have done things?"

"I know that you did all that, Clarke, but it helped me. I know that doesn't sound like much, but it really is. There were days that I didn't know how I would handle it all, but I knew that you had, so I had to, too. There were days that I just wanted to crawl up into a ball or bust my way out and let the radiation have me. I didn't care about the people. I cared about myself, but I realized very quickly that I couldn't be selfish. It wasn't fair. I had to do what I had to do in order to protect them all and keep them alive. I didn't mind that they hated me. I didn't care that they thought I became a tyrant. They didn't know what I did. They didn't understand that we almost starved to death. They didn't understand that I made them all work the farm to keep them from going insane. They didn't understand because I didn't tell them. They didn't need to worry about it. I did."

"But why?" Clarke probed.

"Because I was their leader and that was part of the job. I didn't get that with you before and I'm sorry. I get it now. The crown is heavy, Clarke and it weighs down not only our heads but our hearts."

"Octavia..."

"So, I'm sorry if I upset you or offended you by kissing you early. I didn't mean to, but you have to understand that you were the only voice of clarity that I had for six years. You gave me a perspective that no one but maybe Jaha could have, but he was dead. I couldn't exactly go to your mother, either, if I wanted. She had enough to deal with. And, at some point, Kane checked out."

"But, you kissed me."

"I did."

"Octavia..."

"Look, I don't know what you want to me say, Clarke. I care about you. Feelings and emotions were bound to blur for me and I might have transferred some of those to you. I don't know what else to tell you. You were the light that kept me going, but like all things, sometimes reality isn't the same. I'm sorry... I need to sleep."

"Let me check your arm, again," Clarke demanded.

"It can wait. Go talk to Bell. Make sure he doesn't do something stupid like go after Echo."

"He won't."

"He might."

"He won't."

"Why do you say that?" Octavia asked her.

"We already talked. He is still not happy about you shooting your own people, but I get it and I saw the shots. None of them were life threatening. I don't think that Diyoza will believe that it was a decoy to get the guard on the ship with Echo. It was a smart plan," Clarke told her.

"And, now we wait."

"Now, we wait," Clarke murmured. "What did you do with whatever down time you had? I know you didn't train all the time. What did you do when you were alone, Octavia?"

"I listened to you," she said simply, looking at Clarke, hoping that her emotions were still in check.


	28. Chapter 28

**Chapter 28**

**One thousand three hundred nineteen days after _Praimfaya_**

She sat in the back of the room. She knew the exact moment that Kane and Gaia knew that she'd entered, but she shook her head at them. She wasn't there to disturb the class. She wanted to talk to Gaia some more about the legends. She knew that they were learning them and blending them into one finally that Gaia and Kane had come to an agreement on how to blend the stories into one. Kane wanted hope to be the main message, but he knew that Octavia wanted it to be harmony and togetherness. Gaia was just trying preserve the old ways, but she kept looking at Octavia. Normally it would have bothered the warrior queen, but she found it odd that Gaia had taken to studying her more and more each day.

Today, she was actually waiting for Gaia. She wanted her to go with her down to the mushroom farm. She wanted her to see what they were doing.

She'd been studying the _Heda_ tome again. The more she read, the more she thought that Becca had been trying to tell them that they would rise again. Yes, one of their mottos was "From the ashes, we rise." But, it wasn't Becca's; it was Conagan's mind and the New Dawn's cult. The banners still hung around the bunker and she was surprised how quickly everyone forgot how to read. She realized as she walked to Gaia's classrooms that reading wasn't necessary to survive and that the leaders were taught to read and write. It was something that Kane and Octavia wanted to rectify, but they had started with teaching everyone how to speak English first.

"_Osleya,_" Gaia greeted her.

"Gaia," Octavia replied.

"What brings you down to the school room today?"

"I was hoping that we could talk about the legends some more," Octavia told her.

"As you wish, _Osleya. _Shall we go back to your quarters? Or, would you like to do it here?"

"Whichever you think is better," Octavia said.

"I believe that we should go back to your quarters, _Blodreina. _As you've asked, I've started teaching the legends. I am not sure what the children would think about us discussing it here."

"Are you afraid of them?"

"No, I am afraid of what conclusions they will come to, _Osleya," _Gaia replied.

Octavia wasn't sure that understood why Gaia was afraid of what they would think. Teaching them the legends were supposed to help Octavia maintain control. She watched Indra's daughter as they made their way back up to her quarters. She didn't completely trust Gaia, but she knew that Gaia wanted them to survive. She also supported some of Octavia's more harsher rules and stances on things, well more so than her mother, Indra. Octavia had learned to use Gaia as a gauge of the populace. She couldn't trust Indra on that, because as much as she loved Indra, Indra would tell her what she wanted to hear.

She nodded to Miller as they entered. She looked up at the clock. It was near time for Clarke's daily broadcast. She huffed as she crossed the room. She turned down the radio volume, but set it up to record anyway. She would listen to it after she was done with Gaia. She needed to take care of her people first.

"So, what is it that worries you about the legends, Gaia?" Octavia asked as she took her seat behind her desk.

"It isn't so much the legends, _Osleya. _It is how the older believers will react to them. The children are easier to mold until their mentors get a hold of them. The younger children that haven't been given as a _sekkon _are the easiest. They are eager to please and learn. They love the stories," Gaia told her.

"All children love stories. I know I did when I was living beneath the floor. Stories keep us going when things look bad and bleak. Why do you think that I asked that you started teaching in the school?"

"I didn't know, _Osleya. _I was just following orders. Legends help us learn from the past. They teach us how and why our society works. It gives us things to aspire to, heroes to praise and the hope to emulate them."

"And, that is why I want the legends taught, Gaia. I need the people to know that I am going to get us out of this bunker. I don't know how yet, but I've not given up. They can't either. But, on the other hand, we have to be prepared for anything once we get out of here. That is why everyone must train in the farm and to be part of the warrior forces."

"And, Niylah?"

"She is _fisa, _like Abby. _Fisas_ are just as important as warriors, Gaia. Without _fisas, _the _gona _wouldn't have anyone to put them back together for another fight," Octavia told. "Look, I know that they are all taught basic and sometimes advanced battlefield medicine. If you want to go down that line of thinking, what are you, Gaia? You're a _ticha,_ and a good one, but you are also the last _Flaimkepa._ Is that not still an important role for the people? Your like a priestess to them. Are you a warrior?"

"I was trained to be one when I was young," Gaia countered.

"But are you _gona _now?"

"No," Gaia stated.

"Then don't worry about Niylah. I have people where they need to be. There will always be roles that don't fight. Would you expect Jackson to pick up a sword and fight?"

"No, he is weak, but he is strong as a _fisa."_

_"_So, even you can tell the difference," Octavia said.

"Yes, _Osleya, _I can. I'm sorry if I offended you. I meant no disrespect."

"I didn't take it as disrespect, Gaia. I was merely stating a fact, a fact that I am sure your own mother taught you young. Everyone has a role to fulfill in a village, do they not? Think of this a giant village. Would it be good for all to be warriors? No, it wouldn't, because then no one would maintain the village. What is good is that everyone is taught to fight. That means that if the warriors, the _gona_, are out fighting, then the villagers that stay behind can put up a decent defense and keep the village. That is what I am striving for. I know that I will have to send the _gona_ out to explore and remap the world, but I want to make sure that everyone still in the bunker is safe. I can't do that if they don't all know how to fight. I hope that they don't have to fight, but I still want them to be able to. I should have to leave the bunker in hands of babes."

"Goddess bless us so you don't either," Gaia quickly stated.

"Yes, Goddess bless us all," Octavia replied with no real conviction.

Gaia nodded. She'd taken the chastising well. Octavia was impressed, but she was also concerned.

"We're over halfway through our intended stay."

"And, we are still prosperous, _Osleya," _Gaia replied.

"Are we?"

"Yes."

"Are we really?"

"_Sha, Osleya, osir laik," _Gaia stated.

"Look around us, Gaia. The people are still in fear. They obey because I tell them too and they are still afraid of the pits. The mini-rebellion months back is still haunting them. Some of them look at me as if I am god and others think that I will command their death at the next second for looking at me wrong."

"They look at you as if you were the _Heda, Osleya. _For all they know, you are the new _Heda, _without the Flame. You won the Conclave. You've saved us all. You've battled and fought to keep us alive, shedding your own blood to do so. They see you for what you are, _Osleya, _our Champion and our leader. Their fear is good thing, though," Gaia told her. "If they fear you, they will obey you. If they obey you, they will survive."

"I want obedience without fear. I know what kind of obedience that leads to, and we are better than that. It is why I have my council. It is why I let the people come to me with grievances. Gaia, I am not a tyrant on all matters because tyranny breeds contempt. Contempt breeds rebellion. Rebellion breeds our deaths and the end of Man."

"_Osleya_ is well versed," Gaia replied.

"When I lived beneath the floor, reading was the only thing that kept me sane."

"And, your brother?"

"He did his best, but he could only do so much. That is why he taught me what he could and got me every book that he could. He gave most of my education until I met Lincoln and Indra. They were the ones that taught me what it was really like to live on the ground. Your mother still is my mentor, my _Fis,_ even though she won't claim the title anymore."

"She can't."

"I know, because technically I outrank her as the _Osleya. _It doesn't mean that I don't still seek guidance. We all need it. No one knows everything Gaia. I'll be the first to admit that. There were things in the beginning that I thought I understood, but the longer we're down here, the more I know what Jaha told me and did was right. That is a very bitter pill to swallow."

"Bitter pill?"

"It is an old Earth expression. It means I had to learn it the hard way and I found out that I was thought I could and what could be done are two different things. I was wrong and I admit that, but that doesn't mean that I can quit or slack off. We are the last of Man and I will be damned if I let us die out here. We will be better. We will survive. And, we will work the Earth again."

"You are the _Osleya. _The more time I spend with you, the more I realize that you are closer to the 'Reborn' than I want to admit. I will follow you, _Osleya. _I will support you, because I know that you are the best thing for us. You've kept us together. You've helped us through every crisis that has arising down here. And, you are helping us get better and prepare for the unknown on the surface. You will help the rebirth of Man and you will lead us into our new future on earth. I have faith in you," Gaia told her.

"But you still worry about the people?"

"Yes, _Osleya, _I do. They worshiped the _Heda _like a god. I am not sure that they wouldn't do the same for you. It is a lot of pressure to fall on someone and you have enough to deal with as it is."

"So what are you saying?"

"We need to be careful in how we push this. I am not saying that I don't agree with you about the legend. I do, now. I've done a lot of reading of the old _Flaimkepas_ journals, the _Heda _journals and the legends that aren't in all combined in _Heda Leska's _tome. I am just not sure who you think is going to be the 'Starborne'."

"I have an idea, but I just wanted to lay the ground work for it now."

"You think it was _Wanheda_, don't you?" Gaia asked as she watched Octavia cocked her head in question.

"She would be a good candidate, but I don't know," Octavia lied.

"Lexa thought she was. She fit the description and she supported Lexa. They would have been the two of the legend, I think had Titus not killed Lexa. But, he was too blinded by what it might mean for him and the rest of us."

"Which is?"

"That a new world would form again. We were already the new world from the old. We were what rose from the ashes. He couldn't see how someone from the stars could make us better. He saw _Wanheda_ as the old world and what it represented," Gaia told her.

"Which was?"

"War and death," Gaia replied.

"And, how is that so different from what you had?"

"Lexa was different. She thought in the long term as well as the immediate. She had plans for us to band together to be stronger. She started that with the _Kongeda."_

"And, I will finish it, Gaia. With your help, we will continue Lexa's legacy and make it better. I don't want the _Hedas _forgotten. I never did. But, the people need to know that the time of the _Hedas _has passed and it is now the time for the 'Starborne and the Earthborne' to lead them into the future of Man," Octavia explained.

"Then, _Osleya, osir Graunnomfa."_

"Ground Son?"

"The 'Earthborne'," Gaia replied.

"_Sha, Graunnomfa, laik ai."_

_"Sha, ai Osleya," _Gaia told her. "I need to get back to study more. I have idea, but I'll come run it by you first."

"Go, Gaia, and be well."

"Thank you, _Osleya, ai_ _Graunnomfa_," Gaia stated, saluted and left the office.

Octavia let out a breath she didn't realize that she was holding. She didn't realize how much she was going to need Gaia on her side and the longer they were in the bunker, the more she would need her. It was a necessary evil, but to know that she was finally coming around to Octavia's way of thinking was helpful. It took a load off of her. Gaia could help sway the masses and make things easier.

Abby and Kane were another story, but she had Indra to help with that. She didn't know how to approach Abby some days, so she used Niylah and Indra. Indra was key in dealing with Kane, who had suddenly decided to grow a conscience. Octavia didn't hate him for it, but his timing wasn't ideal. He didn't openly defy her, but it was getting worse. He thought that they could do better than they had in space on the Ark, but he was failing to see that the bunker was the new Ark for Man.

She shook her head. That was something that she would deal with later. Now, she wanted to hear what Clarke had to say. She got up from her desk and went to the radio. She pulled up the recording for the day and moved to the couch across from it. She stopped by her desk and grabbed a glass of water to drink while she listened. She sat down and waited for the recording to begin.

"Hey, Bell, it's day...oh, it doesn't matter right now. I wish that you could see how big Madi is getting. She's about ten, now, I think. She doesn't know when her birthday is because grounders don't really celebrate them. When they big enough, they went to work or became a second. She wasn't old enough yet, but she wasn't far off before _Praimfaya,_ or so she tells me," Clarke stated.

Octavia smiled and then stated into the break, "Leave it Clarke to find last _Natblida."_

"I've gotten better at sowing, so my stitches should be better if needed. We've managed to make all weather gear and enough clothes to last us each a week. Well, for now, she is growing so fast that I have mend or get new clothes for her every couple weeks. But, at least, she's keeping me sane. I don't know that I would have been able to survive all this time alone.

"There are so many things that I miss, you know? They taught us in school that there are three things that we need to survive. They lied. There are four. Shelter is a given. Food and water are as well. But, as humans we need some sort of social interaction. I wish I read more back on the Ark. I am sure that you got Robinson Crusoe and other stories about lone adventures. It isn't for the faint of heart. Madi keeps things interesting and it is nice to have such peace with it just being her and I, but her world is colored by her grounder upbringing until me. And, mine...mine is colored by everything that we've been through. I don't want to taint her world, but I still tell her our stories.

"Almost two years to go and you'll be back. I'm still counting the days. I hope that before you come down that the radiation or whatever that is keeping you from answering me has dwindled enough for us to talk. I miss your voice.

"I miss a lot of voices, especially Lexa's. There are nights that I still dream of her and I wake. I step the door of our house and look out into the village and I expect to see her riding in on a horse or in the Rover, back from fishing or hunting. I can see the look in her eyes and I just know that she's back and she's mine. I miss...

"It sounds so simple, but touch. I miss the touch of someone who loves me. I miss being able to hold someone. I miss being the reason that someone smiles at me for me and as their caretaker. I need y'all to come back. I need my family back, all of you. Everyone. I don't care where you are, space or in the bunker. I need you all back," Clark said and then the transmission ended.

"Soon, Clarke. Soon and we'll all be back together. But, I know what you mean. I miss Lincoln...everyday."


	29. Chapter 29

**Chapter 29**

Clarke was still in the office with Octavia. She had been watching her sleep for a while, and then she saw the radio. She pulled out some of the recordings and started playing them. Octavia had every broadcast that she'd made and it floored her that she kept them. Then, she thought about the map that Indra had drawn. She knew that Indra must have listened to Clarke's ramblings on Octavia's behalf to make such a detailed map.

She looked back over at Octavia. She looked so at peace when she slept, like Madi. And, maybe, that is why she was so caught off guard when Octavia kissed her. She could only guess at what Octavia was thinking and feeling. She had six years plus in the bunker being essentially the _heda, _only they called her _Osleya _or_ Blodreina. _Both of which fit Octavia and her personality. She knew that Octavia wasn't trying to replace Lexa. No one could. She was and had done the best that she could with what she had. Clarke understood that.

She looked from the radio desk to Octavia's desk in the office. She left the radio playing and walked over the desk when she saw a book that she hadn't seen in years. Her curiosity was piqued. She sat down behind the desk and opened it. She hadn't ever read it when it was in Lexa's room. She'd wanted to, but she'd never got the chance. She figured that the tome had been burned or destroyed in _Praimfaya. _She should have known better. She should have known that Titus would have given it to another _Flaimkepa _to protect it. She opened it and started skimming through it. She was skimming because she was looking for Lexa's handwriting.

"It's towards the back," Octavia told her as she entered the office.

Clarke stopped and looked up at her. She didn't say anything. Octavia just turned off the radio and walked over to the desk. She kept her eyes on Clarke as she sat down on one of the chairs in front of her desk.

"The chapters you're looking for are near the back," Octavia stated.

Clarke flipped further into the book and started to see Lexa's handwriting. She stopped and looked up. She could tell that Octavia had read these pages. There were some edges bent, but the book was in good condition. She ran her fingers over the writing.

Octavia gave her some space to read as she crossed the room and poured herself a glass of water. She turned and she saw Madi was sleeping on the couch in the office, not far from Clarke. Octavia smiled at the girl. She walked back across the room and knelt down near the couch and looked at her. She felt Clarke move a little to watch her.

She was watching the girl. She was sleeping and peaceful. She reached out, tentatively, to brush Madi's hair out of her face. She stood and pulled a thin blanket from the table beside the couch. She knew that Clarke hadn't seen it. She placed it loosely over Madi, effectively tucking her in on the couch. When she turned around she wasn't expecting Clarke to be standing that far behind her.

"You care about the children a lot," Clarke said.

It was just a statement. It wasn't meant to cause comment or issue. Clarke was just making a statement. She saw how different Octavia was with Madi and the other children of the bunker.

"I do. I want better for them then we had. I can't help it. I fight for them. If I don't, then I've failed them."

"How?" Clarke asked her as she moved and leaned against the desk, watching Octavia watching Madi.

"We were trapped in space. You knew that we were slowly dying because the Ark was dying. I was a waste of space, resources, and air. I wasn't raised like you were. I was kept in our quarters. Bell did everything that he could to help me, but even he had to know that my life had an expiration date. I don't think that he wanted to think about it. I don't think he wanted me to worry about it. He taught me everything that he could. He did everything that he could to make a way to sneak me into the population. I don't know what his plan was, but I know that he was working on something. It would have probably never worked, but he was going to try to protect me. He gave me the inspiration to survive."

"To survive?" Clarke asked.

"Yes. I was allowed to watch my mother die and then I was taken to the Skybox. Miller was in a cell next to me. Eventually, he wormed his way into my cell. He kept me motivated. When I went to class, finally, it was for Earth skills with Pike. I had to study harder, faster, and longer than everyone else. I'd never had class. I only knew what the books taught me. I didn't know what was going on. I didn't know that we were being sent to the Earth. I didn't understand the need for those classes until we landed, but then I still had Bellamy with me."

"I remember."

"But, then, I was still facing the prejudices of being the 'Girl beneath the floor.' I was fighting to survive and just become someone that I wanted to be. I never had the hope of really being anything on the Ark. When I was with the hundred, I didn't have an identity. I didn't really fit in because I was never meant to. Bellamy wanted to keep me close, but he kept everyone from me. I had freedom to do things, freedom to move about and just freedom to be. I promised myself that I wouldn't waste it. I couldn't."

"And, then you met Lincoln?"

"No, Lincoln met me. He took me, he healed me and he cared for me in a way that no one else ever had. It wasn't like it was with my mother or brother."

"I get that," Clarke answered.

"He was quiet and strong and loving. He was willing to sacrifice himself for me. I didn't understand that. I never understood the want to be something like that for someone else. I needed guidance. I needed someone to kick my ass and to make me care."

"Indra?"

"_Sha, she did._"

"What she gave me was a foundation. She gave me more things to strive for. She saw something in me that no one else. She pushed me farther. She kept on me. She refused let me fail. She pushed and pushed...even when I thought I couldn't do something, she pushed me harder. She sees things that others don't and I've learned to appreciate it."

"But, the children?"

"Without them, there will be no tomorrow. She knew that the children would continue our experiences and make the world better. She saw in Lexa. She saw in you. She was one of the few that supported you being together," Octavia told her.

"She had a strange way of showing it," Clarke replied.

"She is hard and harsh. It took a long time for her to realize that Lexa was right. She realized that the Grounders had to change in order to survive the new world. She pushed everyone in the bunker to change. She knew that I had a vision and she supported it. She fought Gaia on me wearing the colors and the gear of the _Heda_. She got with Kane and made herself change. Her doing that showed even some of the most die-hard Grounders that the world was changing above us and we had to change to be ready for it. The children are always our future. If we aren't willing to change for them, we will give them the same world that we inherited."

"I want that for Madi. I don't want her to have to fight to survive as bad as we did. I know that survival is a never ending fight day to day, but I don't want her to have to fight to keep the land that she knows. She has more of a right to it than anyone else that I know."

"Not even you?"

"No, that valley is all hers. The fact that she didn't kill me was amazing. It wasn't that she didn't try in the beginning. She learned just as I did that we needed each other."

"You became her mother," Octavia said as she moved around and then sat down on the couch on the other end of her office, away from Madi.

"I did."

"Does she sleep with you?"

"Some nights, she does. Mostly we would share a bed roll when we were out in the fields or checking the traps down in the winter hunting grounds. When we are in the village, she stays with me but, she stays in her own bed. I worry where she stayed while I was captive and before she met up with us in the desert."

"Have you asked her?"

"No, we really haven't had a lot of time to talk. When we got back, you began preparations to go back out. She was trying to tell me everything that she could, everything she'd studied about Diyoza and her men. I gave everything that she told me to Echo. I told her everything that I knew, too."

"Like?"

"A grouping of caves that we used and that had weapons and such stored in, a place for her to camp in and hide."

"You don't think that Diyoza has found it."

"No, I don't. She's sticking to the village and just near it by the river. Madi said that they were digging in as well, but she couldn't give me a lot. She'd been with Harper, Monty and Echo while Bellamy and me were with you. She said something about Murphy and Emori going off on their own."

"The cockroach..."

"He is. He came down with Raven after Diyoza took the valley. She was here, but they released the rest of the convicts or something. Madi was telling me that there were hundreds of them when they left."

"Who would you have watch her when we go?"

"I don't know. I want to say Mom, but she is in the Valley. I want to take her with me, but I am not sure that I want her to see that side of me. I want to leave her here, but I don't know how to trust. I know that Bellamy isn't going to stay behind. He'll go. Monty and Harper might stay back, but I can't ask that of them. They have enough to deal with right now. They don't need to be worrying about my kid."

"What about Niylah?" Octavia asked.

"We haven't really talked."

"Go see her. Talk to her. Six years is a long time to without being with someone."

"She had you," Clarke countered.

"To talk to, to keep a bed warm, but nothing more than that."

Clarke just looked at her.

"You really had no one?"

"Miller, I guess. Indra on occasion. Hell, even Kane, your mother and Gaia, but a lover or something deeper like that, no."

"Love is weakness," Clarke scoffed.

"Lexa would be proud," Octavia huffed, her voice filled with sarcasm. "No, it wasn't just that. I honestly didn't have time to develop any relationships, Clarke. I wasn't seeking to, either. Your mother and Indra decided that Niylah would be a good fit for me."

"But, you never?"

"No, I had too much to deal with. My brain never stopped. I couldn't ever relax enough and I didn't want a quick romp. I wanted something meaningful, something that I could continue when we got back to the surface, and it wasn't Niylah's fault that it couldn't happen. It was mine. She understood though. She held me some nights and just let me be. It was nice, but nothing more ever happened between us."

"Wow," Clarke stated.

"It would have been nice, but part of me couldn't and wouldn't betray you like that. I think that part of her couldn't, too. We became friends, more so than we were before coming in the bunker. At first, though..."

"At first, what?"

"I rebuffed her. I was afraid that she was staying near me to just stay safe. It took time for us to realize that we would be able to all live together. There would be squabbles and fights, but Niylah, while _Trikru_, really didn't have a clan to belong to. She joined with _Skaikru_ because of you. She loved you and did as you bade. We never realized that you weren't coming back. It took a while for everyone to actually accept that we were beneath the ground for at a minimum of five years. I pushed her away, but I gave her positions that kept her close to me, Kane, Indra or your mother. I was protecting her and she knew it. But, she still took to whatever we gave her."

"She drank the kool-aid?"

"Yes," Octavia stated.

She looked back over at Madi. Her eyes softened and a small smile took over her face. Turning back to Clarke, she softened more. Clarke was amazed to see this softer side, and she felt privileged, too, because she knew that not everyone got to see this caring and soft side of Octavia.

"Take her to my bed, Clarke. Sleep with her, too. You need your rest," Octavia told her.

"It's your bed, though."

"And, I'm telling you to use it. I'll carry her if you need me. But, you should be with her and resting. She is your daughter. She still needs you, Clarke."

"What about you, O? What do you need?"

"Echo to contact us soon," Octavia replied.

Clarke just nodded. They both stood up. Octavia as promised scooped up Madi and carried her into the bedroom. Clarke pulled back the covers and Octavia placed her in the bed.

"Get some sleep, Clarke. You need it. No one will bother you in here, I promise. They wouldn't dare," Octavia stated.

"What about you?"

"I have things to deal with."

"You need sleep, too," Clarke told her.

"I know that. I will go check on some things and then come back. When I do, I'll sleep on the couch."

"The couch?"

"I've slept there many a night, Clarke. It'll be fine. I'll be fine."

"If you're sure," Clarke said, still watching her.

"I am."

Clarke nodded and walked around the bed. She got in the bed and then curled up behind Madi. She saw Octavia smile at the sight. She quirked an eyebrow as Octavia made sure that they were covered before she left the bedroom. She watched her from her position on the bed as Octavia went back into the office.

Octavia gathered her cloak and her sword. Strapping them on, she turned, gave Clarke a smile and then headed out of the office. She needed to get out of the bunker for a while. She figured that she would walk the streets and calm herself before she fell back into bed. She hated waiting for an answer, but she knew that Echo was now their best chance. She didn't want to admit it, but she hoped that Echo succeeded in her mission. It was for personal reasons, but still, it would help her relationship with her brother.

She wasn't surprised when she felt Timo behind her. They exited the bunker and began to do a slow tour of the dilapidated city. She saw where some of the ruins were being repaired. She knew that it was because a few of them were digging in and preparing to stay near the bunker. It was partially because they were scared. They were afraid of Octavia or that they would never reach the valley. The other main reason was because Indra had ordered it as so. She knew it had been an order to do so, as well. They didn't want to lose the Capital. Polis might being in ruin, but it was till the center of their former world. If they could rebuild it and make it livable, they would and she would help them. Polis was always going to be important to them all.

After her tour, she noticed the horizon starting to lighten. She headed back for the bunker. She knew that the early morning wasn't far away and she knew that she would have meetings not long after breakfast. She needed to rest, even if it was just for a few hours. She would have time for more later as they waited for Echo or Raven's call to them.

She made her way back to her rooms. Miller was back on guard. He nodded to her and opened the door for her as she entered.

She liked this time. The quiet of the early morning before the bunker was fully awake and alive. She did most of her planning in these hours, if she was awake. Usually, she took these ideas to Indra, Kane and Abby. The thought made her angry as she sat down behind her desk.

She looked down and saw the _Heda_ tome still open where Clarke had been reading it. Upon closer inspection, she saw Clarke's scrawl on some scraps of paper near it. They were plans of attack and how to get into the Valley from different sides. She was still prepping even though she didn't want to fight. Octavia knew it was because she couldn't help it. As much as Clarke wanted to deny the position, she was still a leader, even if she wasn't technically part of _Wonkru. _She was still _Wanheda, _and somethings are just too hard to turn off.

Reaching out, she shifted the papers that were laying on the maps Indra had made. She found some small pieces under them. When she traced her fingers over the words, she realized that Clarke hadn't written anything out in _Gongsleng, _but she used _Trigedasleng_ instead. As she read the words, she realized why she had. No one read _Trig _because there was never a developed alphabet or need to. All the notes and such were written out in English (_Gonasleng). _She skimmed the notes and realized that Clarke was studying Lexa's notes on the legend of the Starling and Earthling. She put the notes down. These were Clarke's private thoughts on the matter and even though, she wanted to push her into accepting the position, she knew she couldn't. Clarke had been pushed enough.

Sighing, she put everything back as she found it and left the desk. She walked over to the couch and sank down into the cushions. It didn't take long for sleep to claim her into thankfully a dreamless sleep.

Clarke woke up a little while later. She couldn't help it. Her days always started early with Madi. There were things that had to be taken care of in the early hours. She slowly and carefully got out of the bed, so she wouldn't wake Madi. There was no need for her to be awake this early since they weren't in Eden.

She walked out of the bedroom to find Octavia asleep on the couch. It startled her a little. She was slightly upset with herself that she let herself sleep so deeply that she hadn't heard Octavia come back. She knew that she needed the rest, but she had been on guard for so long in the Valley with Madi that it disturbed her. She thought about and then gave up on it. She knew that Octavia had set guards on the door and that she was protected. She figured that was why her brain let her completely shut down for a few hours.

She walked over to Octavia and knelt down in front of the couch. She couldn't help but think that Madi and Octavia were very similar. They were both survivors. They both fought to live and for a life that they wanted. Clarke didn't have that luxury. She was fighting for her people as soon as she was old enough to understand what was going on and it cost her father and almost a year in solitary. She shook those thoughts from her head.

Octavia was still wearing her cloak, her mantel of leadership. She was doing everything that she could in order to protect Clarke and Madi. She knew that it was out of some misguided thoughts of loyalty and companionship, but she wondered if there was more to it. Was Octavia afraid of them and what they could do? She doubted it. She knew that the grounders in the bunker all believed that the time of the _hedas_ was over.

It was strange to see this softer side of Octavia again. It wasn't that she didn't like it, but after Lincoln's death, Octavia seemed to rage about everything. Clarke couldn't help but wonder what broke her in the bunker. Something broke her, she could tell. She knew what it felt like. She had been so broken after the Mountain. Lexa gave her a reason to try again and, then Lexa died. She broke more. Niylah was an easy distraction, but she was more than that, Clarke had to admit. She had begun to care for the other woman, not like she had for Lexa, but it was something. She was starting to heal with the world descended into complete chaos again with the come of _Praimfaya. _Madi healed in ways that only a child could. But, how had Octavia broken so completely and healed in such a manner that she was soft when she needed to be and hard as well? The hardness wasn't just a front, Clarke knew that, but seeing Octavia be soft with Madi and some of her people... It made her wonder. Who had helped her?

She looked over at the radio. Octavia had already given her the answer. It had been Clarke. She had been the light at the end of the tunnel begging Octavia to survive and bring them back to the surface. It had been every word that Clarke had said to Bellamy, unloading the soul into the nether. Octavia had soaked up every word like they were scripture. Octavia had been dropping hints about Clarke's role in saving her in the bunker since they were back together.

She stood up and fell into the seat near the couch. She studied Octavia. Warrior. Leader. Scared girl beneath the floor. She was all of those and more. She had been a lover and possibly the mate of Lincoln. She was a sister. She was a protector. She was a foster mother, as well. Octavia was many things, but above all to these people, she'd kept her word. As their _Blodreina, _she'd delivered to the surface. She understood their fear and their worship. It had been the same with Lexa and if she admitted it aloud, herself since she became _Wanheda._

Octavia wasn't asking any more of her than Lexa had. She wasn't asking for anymore than the original hundred has asked of her. For six years, she only had to worry about Madi and herself. Now, suddenly being thrust back into a title and leadership position, she wasn't sure that she could do it. She had to, she knew that much, but she was afraid of how much more of her soul she was willing to sacrifice for everyone else's freedom. How much more could she break?

Octavia woke. She had the strange sense that someone was staring at her and, she was right. It was Clarke. She sat up slowly as not to scare the blonde. She could tell that she was lost in thought.

"Clarke?"

The blonde shook her head and then lifted her azure eyes to focus more fully on Octavia, "Yeah?"

"You okay?"

"Yeah," she replied as she nodded.

"I'll get breakfast delivered."

"We should go see Monty and Harper."

"We will. That was going to be my first stop this morning after breakfast. I doubt that Echo has made it to Raven or if she has that Raven has managed to upload his virus into their system yet. But, I still want to make sure that we haven't missed anything."

"Do you mind the company?"

"No, I don't, but what about Madi?"

"Miller can stay with her, yes?"

"Yes," Octavia stated as she stood.

Clarke stood as well. She grabbed her weapons, mostly out of habit and put them on her belt. Octavia cocked an eyebrow, but didn't say anything as she took up her own sword. When she was ready, she saw Clarke waiting for her at the door.

"Octavia?"

"Yeah?"

"Thank you for protecting her."

"She is the last true _natblida_, Clarke. Between the two of you, you survived in a world we couldn't. She is still a child and I hope that she never has to grow up as fast as we did. I hope that she'll be a lot older before the possibility that her blood will make her a leader of these people. I hope that she is never needed and that her blood is just a relic of times from before."

"From your lips to the stars," Clarke said.

"She is safe with me, Clarke. I swear it. If I can stop it, she'll never take the mantle of _Heda."_

"I've already lost so much."

"And, I will do my best to make sure that never lose another _Heda _in your lifetime."

"Octavia..."

"Remember these words, Clarke," Octavia told her as she stared deeply into Clarke's eyes. A_i badan yu op en nou moun. Y__u laik ai wanheda."_

Clarke didn't look as surprised as she had before. Instead, she looked deeply into Octavia's eyes and replied, "_En, yu laik ai Osleya._"

**translations **

_**Ai badan yo op en nou moun. Yu laik ai wanheda. **_I serve you and no other. You are my Wanheda.

**_En, yu laik ai Osleya._** And, you are my Champion.


	30. Chapter 30

**Chapter 30**

**One thousand three hundred sixty days since ****_Praimfaya_**

"I feel so lost sometimes. I know that I don't deserve the life that I have, but I know that I have to survive for Madi's sake. I can't leave her alone here. I have to protect her and make sure that she will be able to survive, should something happen to me, and to make sure that she'll be able to know you all if she ever gets to meet you. I know I've been telling her stories about you for years, but lately, I've been sketching on every piece of paper that I can. It is the only way that I truly feel close to being who I once was.

"I know that I earned every scar I bear. Even those I inflicted upon myself...I did it all for us, so that we would survive and what did that accomplish. We survived only to die anyway. I am truly the _Wanheda._

"Madi still clings to the stories of Octavia and how she became a great warrior and known as the _Skairipa._ I can't...I still can't tell her everything. She doesn't need to know my sins. She doesn't need to know about the genocide. She knows that I did something to the Mountain. She's heard legends, but I don't elaborate. I don't give her more because I am not sure that I can. Instead, I tell her about the stars and living in space. I think she knows that it pains me to talk about it, so she lets it go.

"Those deaths are the only ones I truly regret, you know? I know that you and Monty share the blame for all of them with me equally, but you don't as well. You can't. It was my decision. I was the one that sentenced all those innocent people to death. I made the call. It doesn't matter that you helped me pull the lever, Bell. It was never your choice. It was all mine and it is fitting that I am alone now because of it.

"I said the words. I said them and then I was tossed from the tower. I stood there watching the Death Wave coming at me. I welcomed it. I wanted it. I wanted the oblivion that would come with death, but something pushed me. Something made me snap out of my stupor and run back for Becca's lab. In the back of my mind, I knew that I could survive there for a while. I just had to make it back. I ran. I ran harder than I ever had and I kept hearing this voice.

"It sounds crazy, Bell. I'll admit it. There was this voice and it was practically yelling at me over the sounds of the Death Wave. It kept telling me that my fight wasn't over. It was begging me to live. It was telling me that I had to, but it never told me why.

"I didn't realize why I survived until I realized that Madi was a _natblida_. This was my punishment and my salvation. I was meant to raise the next _Heda. _It is a punishment for my crimes because I know the life that _hedas _live and my salvation because Lexa had already warned me. I didn't believe her, but she was right. She had always been right. Her spirit would choose the next and they would love me just as much as she did, if not more.

"God, Bell, I still miss her. Sometimes, I look at Madi and wonder if I can sentence her to that life. Her own parents hid her from the _Flaimkepas_. But, she's just amazing. She's so smart and she's quick and strong. Like Lexa fighting seems so natural to her, but there is more to it than that. She asks so many questions, studies everything that I do in hopes to understand why I do it. Some days, it is like she's channeling Lexa, but I know that she doesn't have the Flame. It's lost, destroyed... But, still I carry on, in my own way, preparing for a life that she might never know.

"Each day, I see her transforming to become the leader of nations. But, you in space and Octavia is in the bunker. I have to protect her, Bell. She is honestly all I have left. She is my soul and my redemption. I cannot and will not let her stain herself because of my misdeeds. I would die before that happens. I will fight her battles for her until I have no breath to breathe. I will taint myself with the blood of those that would seek to hurt her, just so she doesn't. I will be the _Wanheda_ if needed. For I am the Commander of Death, and I say that her spirit will remain with her for a very long time," Clarke said.

Octavia stared at the radio as the transmission ended. Clarke was in pain again and once again, she could do nothing about it. She looked over at the tome in her room. She knew that she needed to study it more. She needed to make sure that she knew everything that she could in order to protect Madi and when Clarke got them out of the bunker. She wouldn't let Gaia or anyone else force her into the life that Octavia was now essentially living. She was the _Osleya, _but not _Heda. _It didn't matter to Octavia. She wouldn't let Madi taint herself with bloodshed. Nor would she let Clarke keep destroying her soul. She understood the pain and the wrath that Clarke felt, because she felt it, too. She would be her title, the _Blodreina, _the Red Queen, painted with the blood of her rivals and those who opposed her. She would kneel to Madi if needed once peace was secure.

There was a knock at her door. Looking up from the tome, she shut and called out. Miller opened the door for whoever was there to visit her. Indra, Abby, and Kara came in. She immediately stood, because she knew what ever it was, it wasn't good.

"What has happened?" she demanded of them.

"There is a blight in crops," Cooper answered quickly.

"How bad is it?"

"It is deep and taking out most of the protein rich crops," Cooper replied.

"Is there anything more that we can do?"

"We've already implamented everything that we could think of, _ai Osleya. _Abby and I have been working in the lab for more resistent crops, but they aren't ready. This blight was unexpected and very quick."

"What about the mushroom farms and the ant wheat?" Octavia asked.

"We have enough to supplement for now," Abby answered. "But, eventually, it won't be enough. We'll have to ration things."

"Then all adults go on lower rations. The children will still get their share. Any adult found abusing their children for their rations will be sent to the pits. No questions or defense."

"_Sha, Osleya,"_ Indra replied, knowing that she was going to have to set a group of warriors in the mess hall to deal with the lower rations. She would also have to get with Miller to tell the Guards as well. The people would have to be watched.

"Is there anything that we can do?"

"If we could get with Hydro and start an algae tank or something, we could eat the algae. It wouldn't be pleasant, but it would sustain us while Kara and I work on the resistant plants. I am not sure how long it would take to grow a sufficient amount of algae, though."

"I don't care. Do what you must. I want daily updates. Rotate the crops that are good and don't have the blight into the hyrdrofarms that are affected and see what it does. We need food. Find us a solution ladies, or we all die."

"_Sha, Osleya," _Kara replied as she stood up.

Abby watched her. She had an idea. It was awful and she didn't want to propose it, but it needed to be said.

"No, Abby, no. We will try everything before we do that," Octavia said, cutting her off before she could say anything. "I know the history as well. I won't order that until we have no other choice. We've fought off blights before. We will do it again. Keep working in the lab. Get others to help you if you can find anyone that understands it. The lab needs to be running all the time until we don't need it."

"As you wish, _Blodreina," _Abby stated. "I'll get Jackson to check some of the experiments that we started last week tonight during his shift. Hopefully, we'll have some good news."

"Everyone but Abby, go. You know your jobs. Report back to me as soon as you know something," Octavia commanded.

Indra stood this time. She nodded and followed Kara out of the office. Abby stayed seated and waited for more from Octavia.

"How long before things get really bad, Abby?"

"I am not sure. Everyone is different, so we metabolize differently. The children would be the first affected, but you haven't cut their rations...yet. So, we have some time. Until I start seeing a lot of malnutrition issues in the clinic, we should be good for now."

"Is there something that we could add to the water? Vitamins or minerals or something? Anything?"

"I'll see what we have. If I can make a cocktail of sorts to add to the water, we could drink some of what we need. It won't solve our problem, but we will be able to survive longer with less. But, Octavia...eventually, we are going to have to look to solutions that seem barbaric. When that happens, what are you going to do?"

"I don't know. I guess I'm hoping that it won't come to that. We've fought to survive only to have a blight destroy us all. I refuse to that be the end of Man. I refuse to let us be it. We have too much to live for."

"Like what?" Abby questioned.

Octavia looked at her. She could see the pain in Abby's dark eyes. They were so expressive and so much like Clarke's. She looked down at her desk and then back up at Abby.

"If we can't save them, who can?" Octavia inquired.

"I don't know," Abby stated.

"Then we fight until we know that there is nothing else for us to do. I am not ruling it out this time, Abby, but I want to be damn sure that we have to take such drastic measures. I am not just going to start killing to survive. I won't cull unless they volunteer."

"And, would you eat them?" Abby questioned.

Octavia was repulsed by the idea. But, she knew what happened on the Ark. She'd read about it in the history books that Bellamy had brought for her to read. It was the first option for that generation. It was the last. And, it was a last ditch effort to keep man alive. Those that survived it were racked with guilt, but their children survived. The farm bounced back and Man lived to see the ground again, even if Man had still been there all along. The Ark was nothing more than a bunker in space.

Both civilizations had been trapped. They only had the resources that were already there when the doors closed. They were both limited. Twelve stations had come together and they survived for almost a hundred years. Now, Octavia was leading the last twelve tribes of Man in the bunker. Their numbers were lower and their population had suffered, but they were still surviving.

"We've got to make it another few years, Abby. We can do this. We've made it this far. We'll go the distance. We have to," Octavia told her.

Abby shook her head. She didn't like the idea of eating the dead any more than she did the first time she brought it up. She didn't want to cull the masses either. She was sure, just like Octavia, that they were going to need every able hand when they got back to the surface. She would do what she could to help them.

"I'll start working on a solution in medical to add to the water. Hopefully, it won't make it taste so horrible. I'll see what other insects and such that we might be able to replicate or use. We'll find a way, Octavia. We'll find a way," Abby stated and Octavia knew that she was trying to convince herself that they would make it through this time.

"We will. We have to. For the children," Octavia replied.

She stood up and Abby did as well. She escorted Abby to the door but stopped just shy of it. Turning, she grabbed her cloak and sword. Donning them, she followed Abby out of the office and down the ramp as they walked towards the main parts of the bunker.

Abby wasn't sure if Octavia was going with her or not. She was going back to the lab and not the clinic. She wanted to check on their experiments and see what else she could do to work on the crops. She wasn't as proficient as she wanted to be in basic biology because she was a doctor. She had enough knowledge to get what she needed done, but she'd never had to do what she was doing now. The closet she'd ever come to what they were working on was trying to develop vaccines for whatever illness cropped up on the Ark and running cultures for her patients. This wasn't that different, but she was actually manipulating DNA to hopefully get something better. It was all trial and error and she obviously had a finite deadline to get things up and running. She just wasn't sure when they were going to hit that "point of no return," and that scared her the most.

"Abby, just do what you can do," Octavia told her as they stopped in front of the lab. "There is nothing more that I can ask of you. I know you know what will happen if we don't succeed, but I also know that you are Clarke's mother. She's never given up, so don't you start. She got her temperament from you. I believe in you."

"Well, that makes one of us," Abby mumbled.

"Sometimes, that is all we need," Octavia told her.

She placed a hand on Abby's shoulder. She wasn't just trying to comfort her. She was trying to reassure her. She had to bite her lip. She couldn't and wouldn't put the added pressure of knowing that Clarke was alive and on the surface on Abby. It wasn't fair. She had enough to worry about with saving the now thousand plus souls that were buried there with her in the bunker. Time was now their enemy, but Octavia had to believe that Abby would find something to get them through. They didn't have any other choice.

She watched as Abby silently nodded. She knew that it was still a lot for the doctor to have to deal with, but she also knew that Abby could handle it. She'd dealt with life and death situations before on the Ark. This was no different. She just had to be as objective as she was then.

Abby went into the lab. As soon as the door closed, Octavia turned back to her guard. It was Timo and Miller.

"One of you make sure that Abby gets whatever she needs, including sleep and food. Assign someone to her. Preferably someone from _Skaikru _and someone with a science background," Octavia told them.

"I know who to assign," Miller told her.

"Go. Now," Octavia commanded. "And, meet us in the classroom."

"_Sha, Blodreina," _Miller replied as he ran off towards the sleeping quarters.

Octavia felt Timo fall into step behind her. They worked their way through the hallways and cooridors to the classroom. Octavia turned and placed her hand on Timo's arm. He knew that it meant for him to wait outside the room. He wouldn't leave his post until he was relieved and even then, he would let Octavia know that there was a change of guard. Timo and Miller took their jobs very seriously. He gave her a quick nod and a modified salute before he took a spot against the wall. He was now a sentry guarding the classroom until Octavia decided to go somewhere else.

She stepped into the room, and like always, took a seat in the back. Kane gave her a small and very non perceivable nod. She gave him a nod and sat back in her chair. She wanted to know what they were talking about today. She wasn't checking on them. This was more of her checking on the status of the children. They were their future and she wanted to make sure that they were ready for life beyond the bunker.

"And, just like we did on the Ark, we've all come together in the bunker to survive, to outlast the problems on the surface. I have no doubt that we will be back on the surface soon and when we are, we will all have to work together in order to be better. We can't be anything but one group, _Wonkru. _If we can't do that, then we don't deserve to re-inherit the Earth," Kane told them.

"This is why _Blodreina _wants us all to be ready to fight and also to be ready to do a job that will not only help us survive but it will benefit is all. We can't all be farmers and we all can't be warriors. Some of us will be builders and some of us will help defend our new way of life. Each of you will have to find your way. You are the future not only of _Wonkru, _but for man," Gaia explained.

Octavia just nodded. She stood up and made her way out the classroom. Timo fell into step with her as she headed back up to the lab. She wanted to check in with Abby and Kara. She stopped just outside the lab and saw that they were working on something. She looked at the guard that was assigned there.

"I want an update by dinner. Let Abby know that as soon as she takes a break," Octavia commanded. "And, make sure that she rests. I'll expect an update from you as well, Delfina. Abby must remain healthy. Her life is in your hands for now."

"_Sha, Blodreina,_" the guard replied.

Octavia was getting tired. The weight on her shoulders was getting stronger and heavier. But, she had to save as many as she could. That was her charge as both _Blodreina _and as _Osleya. _She was their Champion and she was determined to lead them back to the surface...no matter what.


	31. Chapter 31

**Chapter 31**

There was something about Clarke's words that stuck with Octavia. She couldn't help but think them over and over. Clarke had called her "her Champion." She hadn't said "the Champion;" she actually said "my Champion." It made Octavia's heart swell, but she knew that she couldn't dwell on it. There were still things that needed to be done, things that needed to be said, voiced, and explained, but for now, Octavia would bask in the knowledge that Clarke still thought of her as "hers" in a way. It would have to be enough until Octavia could give her back the Valley. Octavia knew that she couldn't make a move on Clarke until they were in Eden. She was still trying to prove herself worthy of the Great _Wanheda's_ affections. She was just glad that Madi seemed to like her.

She was in her office looking over the maps. It wasn't a happy sight with Clarke's notations and Indra's assessments. They were still going to have to cross the desert and it was going to take at least seven days to do it, if not more. They would lose people in the wasteland, and she knew it. Hell, they already had. Her head hurt just thinking about it.

"I need Diyoza's ship," she mused.

It would be the easiest and most uncomplicated way to get them all into Eden. But, she didn't think that Echo and Raven could pull off that miracle. Raven was good at what she did. Echo was a good spy and assassin. Together, they would be a good team to rattle and keep Diyoza on her toes, looking at Eden instead of at them, but they wouldn't be enough. If she knew that Emori and Murphy were helping, it might just be enough, but even she knew that was a lie. For anything like that to happen, Octavia or Clarke would have to be in the Valley. And, Diyoza would just kill them on sight.

Shaking her head, she tried not to think about it. She had other things to worry about. The farm wasn't doing well, but Monty said he had ideas. It was promising, but so was the food in Eden. She knew that more people would start to defect and brave the desert on their own, if they didn't get something started soon. She had plans, but they all took time and now, they didn't have that time. Diyoza would send more overtures. She would turn the people against Octavia for the simple reason that she could.

"Don't look like that," Clarke said as she entered the room and sat down in front of the desk.

"How can I not? She has a ship. She has the your mother and Kane," Octavia started.

"So, what, O? You are the _Osleya en Blodreina_. You are their leader. Give them something to follow and they will."

"I tried that and even Kane started to resist. He wasn't always so vocal about it. He wanted peace among us all and he still does. Diyoza's overture reeks of him. If he is in the valley trying to court peace with that woman, we are marching to our deaths."

"We were marching to our death before, Octavia. We've gone up against worse odds and came out on top. We fought the Mountain with a handful of people and I destroyed an entire civilization. It was a small one, but still. I have to believe that we can handle a few hundred prisoners from before the bombs."

Octavia wanted to smile, but she couldn't. She still felt every death personally. She couldn't help it. These were her people. And as much as it pained her to admit, she missed Kane's debates and Abby's directness. She needed them. She needed to get her people to the Valley before all Hell broke loose. She had an army. She had guards. They were fierce. They were loyal. But, Diyoza still had that blasted ship.

"They'll figure it out, O. We just have to give them time. Monty made the virus. It'll work. We just have to give Echo and Raven time to upload it."

"I hate relying on her," Octavia said as she pushed back from the desk.

"Why?"

"She tried to kill me."

"I tried to kill you."

"No, you didn't," Octavia stated.

"I left you to die in TonDC with Indra. I knew the rocket was coming and I ran away with Lexa to protect your brother. I willing to sacrifice you and my own mother to save everyone in the Mountain," Clarke lamented.

"But, you weren't the one that was trying to kill me, Clarke. The Mountain was because they knew that we were meeting and they knew that if you and Lexa teamed up together, you would bring the Mountain down. Why do you think that Cage sent Emerson to give Lexa the offer? Old man Wallace knew that you cared for her and that she cared for you, but he also knew that it was an impossible decision. She had to give you up in order to save the thousands locked in the cages or sacrifice them for you. What is it that you and Bell are always saying about making command decisions?"

"Head over heart," Clarke added.

"Exactly. You know that Lexa had to take the deal, even though it would make her weak. She left us there to die because she was saving her people at the expense of us. She knew that you would hate her. She knew that you might die, but she still walked away to save them. You've admitted that you would have done the same. Being what I am now and knowing what I know, I would have, too."

"Doesn't mean that it doesn't still suck," Clarke stated.

"I know. But, now, we are faced with a perilous march across an unknown, killer desert for the last piece of paradise on Earth. Should we just give up and accept Diyoza's demands? She would trade one tyrant for another?"

"That's drastic, even for you," Clarke replied.

"I know that I am strict. I would be labeled as a tyrant based on what was taught on the Ark. Clarke, I've done things that I am not proud of in the name of keeping Man alive. I know that you have, too, but that doesn't mean that I don't feel all of their deaths. It doesn't mean that I sleep easily at night. I don't. I haven't in about four years. But, now...now on top of all of that, I have to trust that a woman that had tried to kill me several times and probably will again will actually keep her word and help us pave a way into the Valley."

"You don't like waiting," Clarke mused.

"No, I don't. I want answers. I want to know that we can go to our home. I want to be able to walk that Valley and just lay in the grass. I want to look at the swimming hole and just jump in, knowing that there are no mutant snakes trying to kill, and that we are free of the bunker. Eden means freedom. It means that I can turn over my mantle to someone else. Hell, we could vote on a leader. We get to write new laws. We get to start over and be worthy of it all this time. We were all fighting because we thought we owned the Earth. We don't own it, Clarke. We use it. We barrow it for our salvation."

"You've done a lot of reading in here, haven't you?"

Octavia laughed. "How could I not? I went from being the 'Girl beneath the floor' to the 'Girl beneath the Earth.' Same issues, different prison, Clarke."

"Do you still feel trapped?"

"Every day. Just because the bunker is open, doesn't mean I'm free. I'm not. I can't be. I have things that I have to do in order to make sure that we all survive and that we find our way to the Valley. I don't have time to myself. I don't get to stop just because it gets hard. I still have to lead them all. I have to fulfill the promises that I made to them. I can't just let it go. I can't walk away. As soon as the door closed, my life ended and _Blodreina's _began."

"But, you aren't this _Blodreina_ person anymore, O. You're the _Osleya_ and the people know that. You are their Champion. You won the Conclave. You secured the bunker. You've delivered them back to the surface and you will deliver them into the Valley. I have no doubts in that."

"I do," Octavia said as she pushed the maps towards Clarke.

"We'll figure it out."

"You say that now, but what happens when they can't take out the 'eye in the sky?' Will we still be able to make the trek if Monty can't fix the farm? Are the people still going to be able to follow me when they have the _great Wanheda_ here to lead them? Or, gods forbid, Madi?"

Clarke moved quickly like a snake striking. She was up and on the table, hand over Octavia's mouth and knife to her throat, faster than Octavia could blink. Green eyes and blue warred before Clarke finally surrendered her position. She didn't move from the desk. She didn't move her hand from Octavia's mouth, but she did put her knife away. Sitting there, knees on the desk, her eyes bore into Octavia.

"Don't you dare even think about invoking the _Hedas," _Clarke hissed.

"She is safe with me, Clarke. It isn't me that I'm worried about her spending time with though. Gaia will corrupt her to for her own benefit. She's done it very subtly with Ethen. I know that it was here, but it doesn't matter. He won't folllow me unless I grant him a gun. She hopes that had a _Heda_ to train, to teach, to mold into a great leader like most of them before Lexa."

"Lexa was a good leader."

"I am not saying that she isn't, Clarke. I am just saying that Gaia has been teaching the children about the line of succession. I think it was partially because it was a shared history between the clans, but it was more than that. She made the learn it and regurgitate it back to her at will. She's made the children learn the line of the _Hedas_ from _Beka Pramheda_ to Lexa kom Trikru."

"You wouldn't let her teach about Ontari?" Clarke questioned as she sat down on the desk now, still in front of Octavia.

"That bitch? No. She never bore the flame, not even for a second. She cannot be added to the list."

"What did you do, O?" Clarke asked as soon as she realized that Octavia ducked her head and looked away. "O?"

"I made Gaia add you to the list."

"I...me? Why? I wasn't even a _natblida. _She never gave me the Flame because of Roan."

"But, you used Ontari's blood and took the Flame in order to defeat A.L.I.E., Clarke. Even if it was only an hour or so, you bore the Flame and lived to tell about it. You met with Lexa. You used the power of the _Heda's _ to save us from Becca's other chip. Once again, you sacrificed yourself in order to protect not only those of left from the original hundred, but the survivors of the Ark and the entire population of the Earth. You almost died to save us all. You've done it more than once, Clarke and the children needed to know about it. To me, you were the last of the _Heda's, _be it true or not. _Lexa kom Trikru _might have been the last _Natblida Heda, _but that doesn't demean what you did."

"You altered history for me?" Clarke asked her, and then realized that she was still sitting on the table in front of Octavia.

She hadn't moved. She sat there and listened to Octavia's explanation. But, she knew that there was more to it. Octavia was drawing her in and she didn't know why. There was something about the Octavia that she was getting to see behind closed doors that no one else did.

"I altered nothing, Clarke. I gave credit where credit was due. Some of the clans weren't happy with my acknowledgement of you as the last _Heda, _but they were happy to know that their _Wanheda_ did the responsible thing and gave us the Flame. Some have even wished that you kept it and lead us in here," Octavia explained, gave a self-depreciating laugh and then continued. "I know that I am one of them."

Clarke didn't say anything. And, honestly, there was nothing that would change Octavia's mind. She wanted to make sure that Clarke was listed and not looked upon as a false _Heda_ to the people. In her mind, she was still the false leader. It didn't matter that she was _Blodreina. _She was the leader of a new civilization that was being built over another. It was no different than what the _hedas _had done.

"Octavia..."

"Clarke just let it go. The people know who and what you are. They still respect you."

"They respect you, too, Octavia. They are just scared. Everything is scary and new. Nothing is as it was. I understand what they are feeling. It sucks and it is very daunting. On top of all that, Diyoza is working to undermine you. She's using known and effective military tactics. She doesn't care about us or even we survive. I know that we can both agree on this, but she needs some of us. She might not have the resources to survive, so she needs some of us in order to do that. Offering the food gets her that. Getting more of them to defect will get her more. She's smart. She's a tactician. She's playing the long game."

"We need to do that, too," Octavia stated.

"We are."

"You still want me to forgive Echo," Octavia said more than asked.

"I do."

"Why?"

"Why do I want you to forgive her?"

"Yes."

"Would you believe me if I told you it was more than just the fact that she loves your brother?" Clarke asked her.

"By the way you asked, no," Octavia replied.

"Good, because it's true. I know that she tried to kill you, O. Hell, she tried to kill me, too. She was doing what she thought was best at the time and what she thought was best for _Azgeda._ She knows that. She learned more about us from Raven, Bell and the rest on the Go-Sci Ring. She taught them about being a Grounder. She taught them to fight. She fell in love with your brother. She's trying, Octavia. She wants to be part of your world for Bellamy's sake, but she knows that she's banished. She knows that you hate her and with reason. Why do you think that she didn't fight you on the assignment? She knows that if she can prove her worth, you might let her stay," Clarke explained.

"But, you claimed her," Octavia stated.

"I had to do something. You wanted to kill her, O. Plus, I know that you wouldn't refuse a request from me," Clarke added.

"You played me with that one statement and you know it. You've backed me into a corner with her. If she survives Diyoza, I'll have to let her live."

"I know."

"You care about everyone too much," Octavia stated.

"And, if I didn't, then I wouldn't be _Wanheda."_

Octavia pushed back some more. Her chair hit the fixture behind her, next to the wall. She leaned back as far as she could and looked into Clarke's eyes. There was a familiar fire in them, but there was more. Octavia shook her head. She wasn't sure that being that close to Clarke was a good idea.

She started to move as , but Clarke reached out for her. Grabbing her arm and holding her in place, Clarke slipped off the desk. She made sure to get into Octavia's space. They both knew that they needed to address it. Octavia had said her piece and left everything up to Clarke.

"Tomorrow, I'll bow for you," Clarke told her.

"Why?"

"Because I know you care," Clarke answered simply.

Octavia ducked her head and went in the opposite direction of Clarke. She didn't trust herself being so close and not to kiss her again. She'd given Clarke enough to run with, and she was leaving it up to her if anything more happened. But, the Clarke in front of her just then wasn't the same Clarke that had confronted her just a few days ago. Octavia didn't know what to do with that, so she just moved.

"I've never not cared."

"That's not true," Clarke replied.

"Pike doesn't count."

"He killed Lincoln and you killed him for it. You'd been living on nothing but your want for revenge. You met Illian and tried to be a farmer, O. You, our assassin, the glorified and feared _Skairipa, _tried to be a farmer. Do you know how senseless that sounds?"

"I just wanted peace, Clarke. I was so over everything. I was tired."

"Tired of what?"

"Life...fighting...being angry...I needed that time away to realize that we were the problem, but that we could be the solution."

"What you learned in days, weeks, even, took me years," Clarke replied.

"But..."

"Oh, that three months after Mount Weather helped me start to realize what I could do. It gave me clarity and eventually, I learned that I had to forgive myself for what happened. Lexa actually taught me that with a very strange and backhanded comment."

"Yeah, and what was that?" Octavia asked as she moved towards the couches.

"She told me that the reason that I hated her so much for what happened at Mount Weather was because I hated myself. I was punishing myself just as much as I was punishing her. I'd had months to think about her leaving and I knew that it was the best thing for all the Grounders, even though it made her look weak. She did to save her people and unfortunately at the time, we weren't part of the Coalition. She did what she had to do and so did I, but in the moment, I could only see her walking away as the greatest betrayal since my mother went to Jaha about my father. Lexa wasn't trying to hurt me or us. She wanted to stay. She would have fought by our side, but she was afraid that the would launch another missle. And, she was right. I did hate her because I blamed her for everything that happened there."

"What did you say to her?"

"Something along the lines that I could hates us both," Clarke answered and looked down at the desk, the maps and notes. "She wasn't Cage or Dante. She wasn't the one who ordered the drilling in our bodies for our marrow. Cage did that. I shot Dante in cold blood to prove a point. I was so scared of myself after that and I couldn't look anyone in the eye without thinking what I'd done, Octavia. I could even try to begin to forgive myself."

"You did what you had to do in order to save us all," Octavia told her.

"And, in doing so, I sentenced over three hundred fifty people to burn in radiation soaked air to save what forty? I realized that I had become a monster. I was the _Wanheda. _I commanded death. I was the one making the decisions who lived or died. And, I realized that I had been doing it since we landed here. I killed Atom because he was already dying because of the acid fog. I caused everything that happened between Murphy, Raven, Bellamy and Charlotte. I was trying to do what I thought was right without all the facts and a thirteen year old girl jumped off a cliff. Murphy has a healthy disdain for us all. Raven can barely walk and Bellamy needs to feel important. I ordered the death of three hundred warriors just to save what was left us hundred. I stabbed Finn in order to save us all because Lexa demanded his life for the eighteen he took. It was a mercy killing. I knew what they would do to him. I followed Lexa out of TonDC when the Mountain fired their missile at it. I let two hundred and fifty burn just to protect our battle strategy and Bellamy. Two hundred and fifty for one... After the Mountain, I need time to decompress, to think, to understand, to believe that I was right for doing it all. It didn't stop the nightmares. It didn't stop me from seeing them."

"And, now?"

"Now, I'm trying to figure out how we can save humanity and still protect my daughter. I will not sacrifice her for this, Octavia. I can't."

"No one is asking you to, Clarke. I thought we already agreed that I won't let her become _Heda. _Look, I know that you found some sort of peace with her in the Valley. I heard all about it. You've started to forgive yourself, but it as more than that. You realized that even though you are capable of such things, you don't do it lightly. You never have. Everything that you did was out of the love that you have for us and I am thankful for it. To be honest, I didn't get it until I got locked in the bunker. I think I understand better than anyone else here."

"But, Bellamy?"

"He doesn't understand because honestly as much as I love my brother, he isn't a leader. He is a follower. When both of you were in command, he listened to you. He needs someone to temper him. You don't. You think it through and then you do what you think that you have to. But, I also know that you never do it with a light heart. Every death weighs on you, just as it did for me. And, hopefully, Man won't need us to be so ruthless. Unfortunately, that day is not today," Octavia stated.

"I hope you're right."

"So, now we have to do the one thing that we both hate to do as leaders of our people," Octavia said.

"We wait."

"Exactly," Octavia added and let herself fall back into the couch.

She heard Clarke moving. She tilted her head up to look into her eyes. She saw a fire in them. It was more than just a normal fire. There was a passion that Octavia hadn't seen in years, and she had to admit to herself that it looked good to see it again.

"You've been totally alone in here even though you were surrounded by hundreds," Clarke started like suddenly everything was starting to make sense to her.

"I am their leader, so of course, I am. I can't let anyone close without it seeming like favoritism. But, even I was selfish about who I kept as part of my council. I made sure that Indra was on it because I trusted her. I made sure that you mother was on it because I needed my doctor. She kept the pulse of the bunker and let me know what we needed to do to survive. I kept Niylah close because she told me things. She was good at reading the mindset of the mob. Kane was a must because I needed someone that would openly defy me, well, at least to a degree. The rest of them were selected by the people. Miller wouldn't hear of me putting him on the council. He was content with being my guard and nothing more."

"So you listened to me talk every day as a way to escape the turmoil?"

"Yes," Octavia replied.

"I am the one that kept you sane?"

"Yes."

"How?"

"I guess I was just following the orders of my _Wanheda," _Octavia mused.

"And now?"

"I'm still trying to find a way to the valley that won't cause so much death. I am trying to make you proud. I am trying to leader our people home."

Clarke nodded along as she stalked across the room. Octavia couldn't help but think about the time she'd done the same thing. With her eyes locked on Clarke's, she stood up. She didn't know where she was going to move to, but she knew that she needed to give Clarke space. This wasn't the time or the place for anything more to happen between them. Clarke needed to learn more about her. She had a very unfair advantage. She'd had a few years to pine after the blonde, but the blonde didn't know when or if she would ever get any of them back.

"O..."

"Clarke, I think..." Octavia was cut off by the blonde as she grabbed her and pulled her close.

Their faces were centimeters apart. She could feel the blonde's breath on her lips. She could see the look in Clarke's eyes.

"I read your notes. I read Lexa's. I think that I could..." Clarke started, closed her eyes and leaned forward.

There was a loud bang on the door. Octavia shook and pushed Clarke slightly away as she bid whoever enter. Miller came in, looked between the two, cocked an eyebrow and then waited for Octavia to command him.

"What is it, Miller?"

"Echo's on the radio."


	32. Chapter 32

**Chapter 32**

**One thousand four hundred sixty-seven days after _Praimfaya_**

Octavia was going over reports in her office. The last few days had been quiet and, she was thankful for it. Abby and Kara had managed to create a sufficient protein rich ant and cricket for them to consume. It was a boon, but she was still wary of Abby's condition. She was worried about her, but she didn't know what to do or who to trust enough to deal with her.

Delfina had come to her weeks ago and warned her of Abby's need for the pills. Niylah had confirmed that Abby was using more than her need, but she was doing as Octavia asked and covering Abby's tracks. Jackson knew that Abby was acting off, but he just figured that she needed rest. He'd gone to Octavia in hopes that she would order Abby to stand down for a little while. It wasn't a hard request, but she knew that Abby wouldn't listen to reason. She needed to find another way to make Abby see that she needed the time away.

She looked up from her reports when there was a knock at her door. Looking to the door and then the clock, her brow drew up in puzzlement. She didn't think that she scheduled meetings for the quickly ran through everything that she knew was pending and the projects that the different sections were working on. Nothing came to mind.

She knew that she needed to meet with Miller and Indra later. She had told Indra to start breaking up the Army into battalions and assigning captains. Miller was to break up the guards into companies that would work and report to a battalion. She gave them a week to get everything straight. She also knew that Miller was working with Indra on writing out the information. They were making sure that there was at least one member of rank from Skaikru, who could read and write, attached to the cadre of each battalion in order to get Octavia her desired reports.

Gaia and Kane were moving along with their teachings. Gaia had begun to integrate the mythology of the Starling and Earthling into her teachings. Kane had questioned it at first, but once Octavia stated that it was a common legend amongst the Grounders, he backed down. He actually began to read up on it, thinking it was to help Gaia make it a more universal myth for their building of _Wonkru, _ Neither Octavia or Gaia corrected him. For one, she didn't want Kane on her case about it and she knew that Gaia still wasn't sold on the whole idea.

She knew that Clarke was going to broadcast late as she and Madi were going into their winter hunting grounds to make sure that the traps were ready before the snows started. She'd been charting the seasons with Clarke. It was a mindless activity, but after listening to Clarke for the last few years, she knew that it would useful knowledge when they got back to the ground. Being a head of the game would help her prep the masses when they descended upon the Valley. She also knew that she would elevate Clarke not only to her Council but to her side.

Whoever it was knocked again. She dropped her pen on her papers and stood. She was at a loss of who it could, so her curiosity won out. She knew that whoever it was had gotten passed her door guards. She knew this meant one of two things. It was either Indra, Miller, or Gaia. Or it was another member of the guard. She was going with the latter.

"Enter," Octavia said as she stood about five feet from the door, hand rest on a dagger, just in case.

The door opened and it was Delphina. The woman looked ragged and rather like she didn't want to be there. Octavia started thinking about her last meeting with Delphina and knew that she ordered the woman to check in with her every two weeks as it pertained to Abby, but it had been less than a week. The pained looked in her dark eyes gave Octavia pause and she knew that it had to be about Abby.

"Delphina?"

"_Blodreina,_" she replied with a salute.

"What's wrong?"

"_Fisaheda..."_

_"Abi kom Wonkru?"_

_"Sha, Blodreina," _Delphina answered.

"What of her?"

"She's heavy with drink."

"We have no alcohol," Octavia mused and then she realized what Delphina meant. "She's hungover? She's drunk?"

"Sha."

"I'll see to her. Clear medical and find Jackson. Call him or his _sekkon."_

_"Sha, Blodreina," _Delphina replied, saluted and was out the door quickly.

Octavia took a deep breath and let it out slowly. Closing her eyes, she wished that Clarke was there. She wished that she could tell Abby that Clarke was alive and that she was fine, but she knew that she couldn't put more pressure on her doctor. Especially now it seemed.

She walked across her office. She grabbed her cape and put it on. It was time to pay Abby an official visit.

She stepped out of the office, sword on her side and felt Miller fall into step with her. Two other guards came as well, leaving one at her office. It She worked her way through the halls. Today, she actually stopped to acknowledge all the people that stopped to acknowledge her. She chatted with them and listened to their complaints, getting Miller to take notes as needed. She would address them all later and pass them along to the Council as needed.

It didn't take them long to get to the Med Bay. She was glad that people had been stopping her on the way because it gave her time to calm down and prepare to meet with Abby alone. She knew that she was about to do something drastic and she knew that it was going to cost her time and a lot of energy, but she refused to let Abby die.

"When I get Abby in her office, seal off Medical. Tell Jackson and his _sekkon _that they are in charge of medical until further notice. Have Jackson create an new roster. Get to Abby's quarters and gather her things. Move them to my room. She'll be staying with me until I give further orders."

"Sha," Miller answered.

She watched as he tasked one of the guards to go to Abby's quarters. The other guard was posted just inside medical and, Octavia could tell that Miller had tasked him with giving Jackson his new orders. Miller was posting up outside of Abby's office in the med bay. Octavia knocked on the office door and waited. There was some obvious commotion inside. Octavia cocked an eyebrow at Miller, but neither of them made to open the door. Octavia was really trying to let Abby come to her, but she realized that Abby was going to hide her pain. She no longer had the luxury of letting Abby keep going as she was. She knocked again.

"One of the _fisas_ will take care of you!" Abby called from inside the office.

Octavia shook her head. This was not going to be easy. She turned and looked at Miller. He silently pointed to Jackson.

"Jackson, open the door," Octavia told him.

The younger doctor looked at Octavia and then the door. He looked at Miller and realized that they were there for an intervention. Octavia was going to to force Abby to wean herself off the pills. He hadn't succeeded, so he hoped that Octavia would. He reached into his pocket and pulled out some sort of key from his pocket. Octavia knocked again. Abby called out in very broken Trig for her patient to find one of the _fisas_ working in medical to help them. Jackson closed his eyes, let out a breath and unlocked the door for Miller and Octavia.

She paused. It was reflexive. She didn't want to barge in, but she needed to deal with Jackson. She needed to find out more about the drugs that Abby was on. She wasn't stupid, but she didn't know what she was up against.

"Jackson," she said and he paused.

"Yes?"

"What is the drug she's on?"

"It a pain pill," Jackson replied.

"What is the proper dosage?"

"What?"

"How much would you give normally?"

"Four to five pills a day, no more," Jackson told her.

"Any more will cause what?"

"Addiction and dependency," Jackson replied.

"And, how would you deal with that?"

"Either cut them off or make sure that their dosage was followed and reduced slowly until the patient could be weaned off the pills and onto something else or off completely," Jackson stated.

"And, what would you do with Abby?"

"Segregation and wean her off of it," Jackson replied.

"Good, then that is what I'll do. Abby will move into my office and room. I will care for her. You or Niylah will bring her drugs to my office. I want you to do an inventory of those pills and let me know how many we have. I know that it is a finite amount. I also know that Niylah has been working with the Farm to produce more natural drugs for you and us while we're here."

"She is," Jackson stated.

"Good. You are going to be in charge of Medical until I deem Abby fit for service again. We cannot afford to lose her. I will not lose her. Is that understood, Jackson?" Octavia questioned.

"_Sha, Blodreina,_" Jackson answered.

"Niylah, Miller and you are the only ones that will be allowed to come to the office. Figure out how to get some sun lamps into the office as well. I will be staying with her until she is ready to be on her own again," Octavia stated as she reached for the door once again.

She didn't wait for another answer. She opened the door and entered by herself. She didn't know what she was going to do, only that she had to find a way to get through to Abby. She wanted her to come back to her office willingly, but if she refused, she'd have Jackson deal with it for her. She could not and would not let Abby die on her watch. And, she had two reasons for that. One was that she needed her doctor to help them stay alive because of all of her knowledge and strength as the head doctor and surgeon from the Ark, and the other was Clarke.

"Hello, Abby," Octavia stated as she entered the office and sat down in the chair opposite the desk.

Abby didn't acknowledge her, so Octavia took the time to look her over. Abby looked older. She knew that the years in the bunker had been hard on her, but if Octavia had to guess, she would say that the reason she could see gray in Abby's hair now was because Clarke wasn't there with them. It was a blow that Abby just couldn't get over. She believed that Clarke was dead or worse. Octavia had tried to keep her spirits up, telling her that Clarke made it to the rocket and was in space. She knew it was a lie, but it was something to keep Abby's spirits up. Evidently, she hadn't been telling her enough. Abby looked ragged and tired.

"Abby," Octavia stated again, but Abby kept at her journals and notes before her.

Sighing, Octavia stood up and rounded the desk. She sat down on it next to Abby. The doctor still didn't acknowledge her. Octavia was beyond frustrated at this point. Huffing, she reached down and pulled the tablet from Abby's hands and sat it on the desk, before kicking her chair away from the desk completely.

"ABBY!" she practically yelled at the doctor, finally catching her attention, and knowing that Miller was guarding the door, so no one else would come in at the sound of her voice.

Abby's dark brown eyes flicked up into Octavia's green. She could see the worry and the devastation in them. She reached out to touch Abby's shoulder.

"It's okay, Abby. We'll get through this. Remember Clarke is alive. She's on the Go-Sci Ring with Bell. They'll be back soon. Everything will be okay," Octavia told her and watched her as the words started to make sense.

"We don't know that," Abby countered.

"No, we don't, but we have to believe that they will be back and that we will find a way out. We know that the hatch is blocked but, that doesn't mean that they won't get us out. We can't give up. We don't give up, Abby. We fight. That is what we always do. That is what Clarke always does. She fights to protect us, to save us, so now we have to do the same for her. We have to be worthy to be back on the ground," Octavia her told and then waved her hands around the office. "But, this isn't the way to do it, Abby, and you know it."

Abby broke down. Crying deep, painful sobs, she broke. Falling out of the chair, Octavia jumped off the desk and caught her before she hit the concrete floor. She let Abby break down and just held her until the sobs started to tapper off.

"I can't let you die, Abby. I promised Clarke that I would take care of all of us. That includes you," Octavia told her.

"We both know that it was Clarke at the hatch, Octavia. She's dead. I have no family left. There is nothing for me but pain."

"That is not true, Abby. We don't know anything about what is going on the surface. Monty and Raven calculated everything, they know that we can resurface in another year. We will. We'll find a way. We can't give up. You can't give up. Clarke would want you to fight. She fought for us so we could fight for the bunker," Octavia stated.

"You fought for the bunker," Abby countered.

"She fought to find it. She tried to make sure that we would survive. She had the idea to go to space and survive there when she knew that she and Bell wouldn't make it back before the Death Wave hit. We have to believe that they made it. If we don't, it will drive us insane. I know it hurts, Abby, but we need each other. We need you to be our doctor, but you can't. Not like this. You've succumb to the pills, Abby. I need you sober."

"I can still work," Abby told her.

"You might be able to work, but I am not going to let you. I need you sober, Abby. Clarke needs you sober. Do you think that she wants to find you like this? Do you think that she wants me to give you back to her like this?"

"That's a low blow," Abby stated.

"But, it's the truth," Octavia replied.

"I can't. I can't... I just can't."

"I know, Abby. I know. I remember Raven before, too. I'm going to take care of you. We'll get through this. You're coming with me to my office. We'll get you sober. I promise," Octavia told her.

Helping her to stand up, Octavia righted them both. She looked deep into Abby's eyes. She still didn't see any hope, but she didn't look as devastated as she had minutes before. She wouldn't let Abby die, and she was done letting her poison herself with the pills to fight the pain. Abby needed to embrace it and fight through or she would succumb fully.

It took more time, but finally, Octavia got her out of the medical office and into the heart of the medical bay. Jackson gave her a watery smile and wished them luck as they headed for the door. Before Octavia opened the door, she covered Abby with her coat and grabbed her medical bag. When Abby had both secured, she looked to Octavia and watched as Octavia suddenly looked ill.

"Time to get me back to my quarters, right Doc?" Octavia questioned.

Abby stared at her for a moment before she nodded. She realized that it was a cover story. Abby nodded again and swept her hand, shakily, at the door.

Octavia nodded and opened the door. Miller and the two other guards were on her in an instant. Delphina had shown up and joined the crowd as they worked their way back up in the bunker to Octavia's office. Jackson followed leaving one of the Grounder _fisas_ in charge until his return with Niylah.

Once they were safely inside her quarters, Octavia escorted Abby into her bedroom. She left the guards in the office and had Jackson follow her. While Abby watched, they searched everything for her pills. They found two more bottles. Jackson took them and then he left. Octavia watched as Abby looked around the office. She could tell that she was scared.

"Why are doing this?"

"I already told you," Octavia replied.

"For Clarke?"

"That's one reason," Octavia stated.

"And, the other is that you can't afford to lose me," Abby told her cynically.

"That's true. I can't. You are the best doctor and you've managed to get all the _fisas_ working together. I can't let you go...especially like this."

"I'll hate you for this."

"I'm okay with that, Abby."

She said nothing more, but Octavia watched her as she tried to acclimatize herself to Octavia's office and bedroom. Octavia looked over to her clock. It was almost time for Clarke's broadcast. She dug around and found a sedative that Jackson had slipped her before he left. Crossing the room to Abby, she snuck it in and stuck her with the needle. Helping Abby to her own bed, she laid the woman down.

"Why?"

"Rest Abby."

"And, you?"

"I'll sleep on the couch like normal. Rest now. Get better...for Clarke," Octavia told her as she watched to sedative claim Abby.

Shaking her head, she moved back into the office, slightly closing the door that separated the bedroom from the office. She dropped in the chair before the radio and turned it on, making sure to keep the volume low. She closed her eyes and leaned back in the chair. She hoped that Clarke had some good news for her today. She needed it.

"Hey, Bell. Hope you're well. I am okay. I just really miss Mom today. We've fought so much over the year before going into the bunker... I just hope that she knows I love her. She's all I've got left, except for Madi. She's my family. I can't lose her, Bell. I can't... I can't lose any of you..."

"She needs you, too, Clarke. Stay safe. _Ste yuj,"_ Octavia replied, even though she knew that Clarke couldn't hear her. "_Ste yuj gon yur Nomon." (Stay strong for you mother.)_


	33. Chapter 33

**Chapter 33**

Octavia and Clarke ran through the bunker to get to radio that Monty had built. Miller was hot on their heels. Octavia barely remembered him shouting to Delphina to stay with Madi as her guard. The heaviness of their boots on the concrete floor echoed in the halls as they made their way. People moved and shouts in Trig were heard as they passed. Octavia didn't bother to tell them to be quiet. She had one mission and that was find out what Echo could tell them about the conditions in Eden. The people could wait for now. She would give them a report after she knew more. Clarke just kept her eyes on Octavia, wondering what the dark haired leader was thinking as they worked their way deeper and deeper into the bunker to where Monty and crew were staying.

Before they went inside the room, Octavia pulled her to the side. She looked deeply into Clarke's eyes. She knew that the blonde was worried, but she needed to alieveate it somehow. She needed her to understand that she wasn't willing to harm Madi. She knew that Niylah knew the truth or had guessed. It was honestly the only way that Madi could have survived with Clarke, but for the most part, the bunker all thought that Clarke had given Madi the blood to save her. Octavia had done nothing to stop that rumor. She let it run wild, because she already knew the truth. She was determined to make sure that Madi was safe. She was Clarke's family, even if she wasn't blood. And, since Octavia cared for Clarke, she'd be damned if she'd let anyone harm a hair on Madi's head. If they thought that _Blodreina _was cruel, they weren't ready for the wrath of both _Skairipa en Wanheda._

"Clarke, a word, first...please," Octavia stated as she nodded to the hallway just to the left the door.

Clarke nodded and then followed her. She could tell that there was something that Octavia felt the need to tell her first. She couldn't be sure what it was, but she knew that Octavia had become a woman of few words, much like Lexa, so if she deemed it important, it was.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing."

"Then?" Clarke inquired.

"I know that you fear for Madi, but I want you to know..."

"You'll protect her. I got that in your office, O. What is this really about?"

"I don't want you to worry about her. When we leave this bunker, I'll be _Skairipa. _Should something happen to you, I'll make sure that she isn't tapped. I won't let Gaia near her, but we both know that Niylah has discovered the truth. If she starts talking to the masses, I might have to do something drastic."

Clarke nodded along. She knew what that something drastic was, but she hoped that she was wrong. She knew that Octavia had no qualms killing someone that threatened her, her people, or those she loved. If she was ready to dispose of Niylah, someone that helped her in the bunker, someone that helped Octavia get better after everything in Illian, someone that had cared for Clarke and those trying to save Raven, then Clarke knew that she would have to say something to her old friend and sometimes lover.

"I'll talk to her."

"Clarke, she's not the same. She's..."

"You told me already that 'she drank the Kool Aid.' I get it, O. I do. But, we are trying to save the valley without so much bloodshed. Do you want start executing people here before we leave? Or, do you want to try to stop things before they get out of control? You are their leader. React, stop, and think about it. We all want blood for what happened, but turning on the people, O, they'll revolt and Diyoza will have already won," Clarke told her.

"Then, I'll put her somewhere safe," Octavia replied.

"Which would be?"

"A cell just out side the pits. I'll take care of her, but segregate her from the populace. It isn't ideal, but it will save more lives," Octavia stated.

Clarke nodded, and then said, "I don't like it because she is our friend, but..."

"We do what we have to do to protect our family," Octavia added as she raised her arm.

Clarke clasped it. They shook their agreement like the Grounders did. It meant more to them that way. Shaking their arms and heads, they turned to go see Monty and his radio.

There was a clearing of a throat. They both turned and saw Miller there waiting for them. Octavia cocked an eyebrow at him.

"_Forgive me, Osleya, but they are waiting."_

_"Did you hear?"  
_

_"Enough to make sure that it is taken care of very discretely and very quietly. I will handle it myself if need be. Or, I will be there with you, Osleya."_

_"Quietly, send London and Delphi. She won't suspect them, but make sure that no one knows what is happening. I'll be down to talk to her later with Wanheda. Niylah is still one of us and I will let Clarke decide her fate, Mila. Understand?"_

_"Sha, Osleya," _he answered.

He gave the other guards a look and then took off back up into the belly of the bunker. Octavia knew that Miller would deal with the situation without causing too much of a disturbance. And, true to her word, she would take Clarke to speak with her later. For now, they needed to deal with Monty and Echo on the radio. The other guards stepped up and fell in line behind Clarke and Octavia as they finally entered the room that Spacekru was inhabiting.

"What news?" Octavia asked as she entered.

"Echo has made it into the village."

Clarke looked relieved. Octavia just nodded. She knew that there had to be more.

"It seems that Emori and Murphy have been keeping Diyoza's second in command busy."

Clarke's eyes went wide. She reached for Octavia's hand and held it, needing some sort of connection to keep her from blurting out anything. Clarke knew who Murphy was antagonizing and she knew how dangerous McCreery was. Murphy was playing with fire and she just hoped that he didn't get burned.

"And, Raven?"

"She is still trying to make contact."

"Then, how has she contacted us?"

"I sent her with a modified radio from their ship. It broadcasts on a frequency that they don't hear. I made sure of that, but I couldn't do anything to stop them from here. She is still trying to get close to Raven, but Diyoza has taken a liking to her."

"Why?" Octavia asked, trying to rein in her anger.

She felt Clarke squeeze her hand. Octavia squeezed it back. What they didn't see was the way that Bellamy was watching them both.

It had only been a few hours, days even, and they seemed more than a little comfortable with each other. Two days ago, Bellamy was afraid that Octavia was going to kill Clarke. But now, he was more worried about what they knew that he didn't. There was something behind their actions and he wasn't sure that he liked it. Echo was at risk and he was still in the bunker, hiding. Clarke and Madi had been locked up in Octavia's office, talking about things that they only knew.

"She's selective in who she keeps close to her. And, Echo was singled out on their drop ship before they made it back to the Valley. But, the worst part of it all is everyone was collared."

"Collared?" Clarke inquired. "Not the shock collars. Tell me she doesn't have a shock collar on."

"She does. And, they're geo-tagged. She can only go where Diyoza lets her go."

"Why is Diyoza so worried about her?" Octavia questioned as she looked them all in the eyes waiting for an answer.

When no one answered her, she cocked her head. Clarke knew that it was bad. Bellamy hung his head.

"Kane gave her up on the ship," Bellamy told her.

"Kane?"

"He was on the ship that picked them up. He identified everyone. He's working with Diyoza. Echo couldn't tell us on what, but it had something to do with Abby. Echo has to find a way to prove herself to Diyoza or she'll be sent back."

"And, how is she supposed to do that?" Clarke questioned.

"They were interviewed. It was like she was testing them on what they could do and then she would assign them jobs and chores for the whole of village. Echo is a warrior. She doesn't need warriors," Monty answered.

"She's a spy," Octavia countered and then paused. "And, Kane gave her up. She's screwed. We're screwed."

"Not yet," Clarke said. "_We'll talk more. It'll be okay."_

_"Diyoza will kill her and we still won't be able to get into the valley. We have to take the eye down, Klark. As long as Diyoza has the ship..."_

_"We'll think of something. I'm the Wanheda, remember? **She's** in my **home, my valley**. If we can get to Merfi..."_

Octavia nodded. She turned back to face Monty and Harper, and Bellamy. Clarke quirked an eyebrow at them, wondering why they were staring at them so quizzically.

"What?" Octavia asked them, obviously not happy with the way that they were staring.

"You do realize that the three of us were locked on the Go-Sci for those six years with Echo. She didn't just teach us to fight. She taught us all that she could about the Grounders and their way of life. It might have been more from an _Azgedan_ point of view, but it taught us a lot," Bellamy told her.

"Okay, and?" Octavia asked.

"I know exactly what you both just said."

"Okay, Bellamy, you understood us. That doesn't change a thing. We are still going to the valley, with or without you. The choice is now up to you," Octavia told him as she turned to leave.

"There are only two sides here, now, Bellamy," Clarke stated and it caused Octavia to stop in the doorway and turn around to see what Clarke was going to say. "Ours and theirs. Either we fight to take them and we take the Valley and we survive or we stay here and die. Look around you, Bell. This is our new reality. We don't have to like it, but we have to work with it. And, I for one am not going to let Madi die in this desert when her home is out there, livable, survivable and there is a mad woman with a crew of criminals crawling all over it. Forgive me for not waiting to see what she does to all of us for still living her and wanting to survive. At least, we have a plan. If you come up with something better, let me know. You know where to find me...us."

"Can't we live in peace, now?" Monty asked.

"Not like we are now, no. I had peace. I had a life and a home. I was happy out there, Monty. I have a child. I have a home and I'm here."

Clarke didn't wait for an answer. She simply grabbed Octavia by the arm and pushed her out the door. Octavia didn't have time to fight, nor was she going to. Clarke was in Alpha mother mode. She was going to follow the "Mama Bear" and _Wanheda_ until Clarke herself told her to stand down. On their way back to Octavia's bunker, Clarke didn't let go. It meant that Octavia had to constantly wave off her guards and other high ranking officers that were taking to offense how Clarke was holding on to her and treating her as they stormed back up. She, of course, found it very hot.

When they got back into the office, Clarke finally let her go. Octavia went to her desk and sat down, automatically pulling out the maps and plans that they were setting. After she was finally set, she looked up to see Clarke pacing. She didn't know what to say to her. Her little speech to Bellamy was a complete flip from her earlier thinkings. Octavia didn't know what changed Clarke's mind, but she was glad.

"What is it?" Octavia finally asked her as she shifted back in her chair.

"I'm worried."

"About?"

"Everything," Clarke answered.

"Okay, I get that. I do, really. I am, too, but let's start with something small. What is it that is really bothering you right now?" Octavia asked her.

Clarke paused her pacing and turned to face Octavia. She could see the worry in her eyes. Finally, Clarke moved across the office and fell into a chair on the opposite side of the desk. She didn't look back at Octavia. Instead, she was looking at the maps and thinking about the desert and the valley.

"I don't know how I am supposed to feel anymore, O. I don't want to fight. I know that it should be the last thing that I want, especially after I had six years of peace in that Valley. But, you're right. We can't let Diyoza win. She's willing to let all of die just so she can have power."

"And, you don't want that power?" Octavia questioned.

"No, I don't. I don't want power. I never did. I kinda just stumbled into it and then no one understood what it was like, how lonely it is, and how I bore so much so that the masses didn't have to. I didn't have anyone to help me. I was literally trying to figure how to keep most of us alive. I was willing to sacrifice myself to keep them all alive and they still look at me like I'm a monster."

"You aren't the monster, Clarke. I am. I'm the one that took twelve hundred into a bunker and delivered just over eight hundred back to the service. I think that Bellamy doesn't see me as his sister anymore. He doesn't know what to do with me and, he thinks that I am still his responsibility. I don't want to hurt him, Clarke, but I am sure that he might do something against me."

"He loves you," Clarke countered.

"He loved who I was before we came down to the ground. I am not that girl anymore. He doesn't know what to do with me anymore."

"That sounds like the situation that I have with my mother. She didn't understand that the ground was different than the Ark. We fought about who was in charge and what should be done. She hadn't figured out Grounder politics, but we had. We knew because we were forced to. She still thought the 'adults' knew better because they were from the Ark, but they had no idea what was waiting for them down here," Clarke told her.

"And, now?"

"I am not sure that she understands completely, but Kane has helped her see that we grew up. That is what Bellamy doesn't see. He sees you as his little sister and he thinks that he still has to protect you. He knows that he doesn't really, because Indra trained you to be a good warrior. But, it is hard to let you go. I get it. It is the same with Madi. She had six years of Grounder education before I met her, but we taught each other. We needed each other and on some levels we still do. You don't necessarily need Bell to survive anymore and that hurts both of you."

"He isn't thinking rationally."

"He isn't thinking with his head, O. He's thinking with his heart. He still loves you, but he doesn't know what to do with this version of you."

"He'll try to fix me," Octavia stated.

"He might, but he won't succeed."

"Why not?"

"There are too many people that care about you as you are, O. They'll protect you from him. Bellamy sees that and it makes him mad."

"Because he couldn't be with me and he doesn't know what I know," Octavia replied.

"Exactly. He thinks he understands, Octavia, but he really doesn't. He doesn't understand the pain that we carry. He doesn't understand that sometimes we have to sacrifice part of ourselves, our people or our position in order to survive. Lexa used to say..."

"Sometimes you concede a battle to win the war," Octavia finished.

"Yeah," Clarke added as she looked up into Octavia's eyes, again.

"So, what battle are you conceding, Clarke?"

Clarke looked into her green eyes. She realized that Octavia really wanted an answer. The leader was intrigued. She'd seen that look so many times before in Lexa's forest green eyes and now, being in a similar, but oh, so different, situation with Octavia was a little unnerving.

"It isn't conceding when you don't have much left to lose," Clarke answered.

Octavia stood up and moved around the desk. She didn't know why, but she wanted, no needed, to be by Clarke. She needed for the blonde to know that she wasn't going to abandon her. And, she knew that the blonde wasn't going to abandon her.

"I am not her, Clarke. I am not going to side with Diyoza. I want the bitch dead or at least, maimed somewhat by my own hand."

"And they call me _Wanheda."_

_"Ai laik Blodreina,"_ Octavia said. "It is for a reason. Eleven people, mostly Azgeda died in the first two months, most of them on the same day and all because _Skaikru_ led a revolt and took over the farm and mess hall. Don't worry: you mother and Kane were their victims, too. I fought to get in there and killed eleven of my people to make them understand that we weren't twelve clans trying to survive, we were one. We had to become one in order to survive or we would kill each other. Bathed in their blood, dripping from my face and arms, Gaia presented me to the people. The Red Queen was born, but is that who I really am? I don't know anymore. I've been so many things since coming to the ground. You have, too, _Ai Skaiprisa."_

"Really? You're gonna start calling me 'Princess?' I might just have to take offense to that," Clarke told her.

"It isn't as bad as _Wanheda."_

"And, yet, you let Madi call you _Skairipa," _Clarke replied.

"I don't find that as bad as _Blodreina."_

"And, _Oselya?"_Clarke asked.

"'Champion?' Some times, it is as bad because I know that they want to make me _heda_ somehow. I don't fit their legends because I don't bare the blood, but yet, they still follow me. Why? Fear? Tradition? Or, because they realized that I would actually do what I set out to do? I don't know, and at this point, it doesn't matter. We are _Wonkru."_

"But are _'we'?"_

Octavia moved away from her. She crossed the room to the radio and sat down. She pulled out couple of the discs with the recordings. Looking through the labels, she found a few and handed them to Clarke.

"You tell me," Octavia said.

Clarke looked down at the discs and their labels. The one on top was labeled "Maps and Distances." There was one called "Landmarks." But, it was the ones that were labeled "Home," "the Valley," and "Eden," that made Clarke look over to her again.

She knew that Octavia was trying to give her time, but they had the last six years to mourn apart. She knew that Octavia was still morning not only Lincoln, but Illian. She didn't know that she'd ever truly be over Lexa's death and some part of her was still feeling the pain of Finn's. It was small, but it was there. The Earth took those she loved, and she'd be damned if she let them or it take anyone else.

Clarke moved with the agility of a panther and the stealth of wolf. She was more predator than prey now. She commanded the Earth and grew food. She commanded the tree and they bore fruit. She commanded the animals and they sacrificed themselves so that she and Madi might live. She'd fully become a Grounder and Octavia was the only one that heard the change. Oh, their was still plenty of _Skaiprisa_ left in her, but she embraced _Wanheda_ more fully now. She had reason to and she would never forget that, nor let anyone else for that matter.

"_Oktevia?" _

She raised her head and looked over to the blonde, only to realize that she was standing in front of her near the couch. She watched as the blonde looked to her bedroom door, silently checking on Madi, before she looked down at the table in front of the sofa and dropped the discs. She moved again at Octavia. Her cerulean gaze never once wavering as she looked deeply into Octavia's eyes. She didn't know what Clarke was looking for, but she figured out exactly when Clarke found her answers. The dilation of her stormy blue eyes was instantaneous.

"_Klark," _she managed to choke out.

"_Yu laik ai Osleya." (You are my Champion.)_

_"Sha, Wanheda. Ai laik yu Osleya. Ai bandan yu op en no moun." (Yes, Commander of Death. I am your Champion. I serve you and no other.)_

_"Hodnes laik kwelnis." (Love is weakness)_

_"No, hodnes laik yuj. Ste yuj, beja, Klark. Osir gonplei ogeda. Osir yuj ogeda. Osir gada in winness," _Octavia countered. (No, Love isn't strength. Stay strong, please, Clarke. We fight together. We're strong together. We'll have victory.)

"_Ogeda, sha?" (Together, yes?)_

_"Sha, ogeda, feva." (Yes, together, always.)_

Clarke couldn't hold herself back anymore. She closed what little distance was between them. The intensity in her eyes grew as she practically stalked up into Octavia's face. She could feel the hitch in Octavia's breath as her eyes bore into the emerald before her. Octavia traced the fine scars with her eyes that she could see on Clarke's face as Clarke's eyes darted to the bedroom door again. When she had the information that she wanted, she leaned in the few millimetres that was between them and kissed Octavia.

Her breath left her body in a whoosh and the way that Clarke was devouring her mouth made it very hard to try to catch it. She buried herself into the feeling because she wasn't the one that started this interaction, but she wasn't going to stop her. She wanted this as much as it seemed that Clarke did in the moment, so she made her mind up to enjoy every single second. There was a fire behind it that Octavia hadn't felt since Lincoln and she knew it was wrong to compare Clarke to her old mate, but she had been this moved in years.

"Clarke," Octavia breathed out.

"Not now, O," she told her as her hand reached up and buried her hands in Octavia's hair.

She felt Clarke's short nails scrape across her scalp and she held Octavia to her. She was letting Clarke dictate the pace. It was a foreign concept for her, but she didn't want to spook the blonde. If Clarke was going to be with her, she was going to let Clarke lead things. She'd already given Clarke enough to bury her and have her life, but amazingly, Clarke was now kissing her. Thoroughly. Octavia was awash with feelings and to keep from speaking them, closed her eyes.

She deepened the kiss and Octavia moved with her. A quick push and Octavia fell on the couch, Clarke coming with her. Octavia opened her eyes to look at Clarke as she mounted her lap. A leg on each side of Octavia's, Clarke sat herself down and kept raking her fingers through Octavia's non-braided hair, enjoying the feeling of the silky strands running through her fingers.

Clarke molded herself to Octavia's torso. Finally, Octavia couldn't restrain herself any longer. She let her hands run over Clarke's sides and her back, holding her close and enjoying the warmth and feeling of Clarke beneath her rough and calloused, warrior hands. There was something definitely building between them. Clarke was loosing herself in Octavia's body, fierceness and her desire and Octavia was loving every minute of it.

There was a quick knock at the door. Octavia pulled her head back just a little, but Clarke wasn't done conquering her "Champion." She moved to Octavia's neck and began to nibble there. Octavia had to fight everything in her to not throw Clarke on the couch and just take her, especially as she heard the quick rap on the door again. Even in her lust-filled state, Octavia could tell that it wasn't a guard, Miller, or Indra. And, they were the only ones who ever dared to disturb Octavia when she was in the office.

"There's someone at the door," Octavia panted out.

"They...can...wait," Clarke breathed out between kisses.

"Clarke..." Octavia warned in a pleasurable hiss.

The knock grew a little more insistent.

"Clarke," Octavia tried again.

"Oh, fine," Clarke said as she got up off of Octavia.

It took Octavia more than a few seconds to regain her composure and her bearings. When she did, she rose from the couch and went to the door. She stopped in front of the door and turned to take in Clarke again. The blonde had parked herself in the chair before the desk. She was combing her fingers through her short hair, smoothing it down some.

Octavia ripped the door open. She was ready to eviscerate whoever was behind it for disturbing them. She was not prepared to see Monty and Harper there.

"What's wrong?"

"We need to talk," Monty stated.

"About?"

"Bellamy and Cooper," Harper told her.

"Come in."


	34. Chapter 34

**Chapter 34**

**One Thousand Four Hundred Eighty days after ****_Praimfaya_**

Octavia sat at her desk and looked over papers from the farm. Kara was reporting good news. The farm was bouncing back and thriving. She was still worried about it going fallow. Octavia realized that it was a very possible reality and one that might happen in their near future. She wished that she had Monty there with her. She knew that he would know what to do in order to help. Kara was a good farmer, but she wasn't Monty. Kara Cooper didn't have Monty's skills or knowledge. He was the only one that Clarke trusted when it came to herbs and how to grow things. She knew that before the attacks on the drop ship by Anya and finally Tristan, Clarke was going to ask him to build a farm, to grow food and herbs, both medicinal and not, and slow down Jasper's still. But, still it was good news and she would take it.

It had been a rough few weeks. It had only been about two weeks since she'd forcibly removed Abby from the Med Bay. Jackson had been making his daily rounds. They had more or less weened Abby down to a pill or two a day. She was still visibly shaken and very un-Abby-like. There had been a few times that times that Octavia thought that she was going to have to do something drastic, but eventually Abby would calm or pass out completely.

It was during these times that Octavia would call for Indra and Miller. She was using them to measure the pulse of the bunker. They had nothing ill to report, which was good considering both the doctor and the leader were "ill." Indra had convinced the people that the Doctor was caring for Octavia and that she would make a full recovery. She had also hinted at the fact that the people would need to see them outside the office. Octavia knew that they needed to get out. She knew that it wasn't only for the bunker's sake, but it was also for Abby's peace of mind.

There was so much that she needed to do, that she had fallen behind on, but she was trusting the council to keep things running. Indra and Miller had been her eyes and ears, so to hear Indra's casual comments of them needing to be seen, she knew what it meant. The people thought that they were being lied to and that Octavia was "sicker" than they were letting on. They all knew about the "raging sickness" that she had shortly after they were all sealed in. What no one knew was that it Clarke's radio silence that triggered it.

Octavia knew that she was right. It would do them good to get out of the office and the leader's quarters for a little while. She decided that they would go out for lunch. Now, all she needed to do was prepare Abby for it. The only true wildcard in the whole thing would be Kane.

She knew that Kane cared for Abby and it went deeper than any platonic relationship that he tried to convince her of. She'd seen the way that they looked at each other. She knew how Kane had tried to cover up Abby's drug usage, but in the end, it was Abby that got her own self caught. Jackson and Niylah had both come to Octavia way before Delphia did. She knew about it, but she honestly didn't know how bad it was until Delphia alerted her. Kane stepped up as soon as he found out that Abby was locked in with her. He'd come barging to the door, only to be stop by Miller and Indra. After two days, Octavia relented and let him in. She knew that if she didn't stop him and give him something, that rumors would start. And, with rumors of the magnitude that could be raised, all Hell would break loose in the bunker. They wouldn't survive it and they both knew it.

Kane agreed to Octavia's conditions only because he knew that Octavia was trying to save her. He made some very overtly and thinly veiled threats to Octavia, but she brushed them off. Even going so far as telling Indra that he was in love with Abby and that was why he was so upset. He knew that his words would cause him trouble, but he didn't care. He was thinking with his heart and not with his head.

Indra's words had been instantaneous. "_Branwada!"_ (Idiot!) Octavia wanted to agree with her, but she understood. She had literally followed Pike until they saved Clarke and defeated A.L.I.E. just so she could kill him for killing Lincoln. It was a grudge, and she knew that Kane could hold one, as well. She also knew that Miller had put a guard on him. He was smart enough to use _Skaikru_ for the mission, because they all knew that a Grounder suddenly following Kane meant a death sentence for Kane. For now, Indra would let him be watched, but she even told the man as he left the office if he betrayed Octavia that there would be no one and no corner of the bunker that would protect him from her wrath. Kane merely nodded, thanked Octavia for her care of Abby, and left the offices before he could dig himself into a deeper hole.

For Octavia, it was different having Abby in there with her. Especially when she was lucid. When Abby was coherent, she liked to talk and discuss things, plan things out and try to understand everything. Octavia decided that it was the scientist in the doctor. Abby had to know how things worked. It was how she dealt with everything. If she could understand it down to the smallest level, then she could build it up again in her mind making it make sense. Grounder life was just too violent. She understood it, but she valued life. She was doctor and she'd pledged to harm none when she took her oath. Killing was as foreign to her as the Grounder language. She fought to keep lives living by healing, surgery and medicine. She saw Grounders and their way of life as her personal antithesis. She couldn't find a good way to deconstruct it and make it work. And, what hurt her more, was that Clarke had.

And, that was another problem for Abby. She loved Clarke, but it was more than that. She loved the idea of what she'd built Clarke up to be. The Clarke that she met on the ground was very much her daughter, but she wasn't at the same time. It had taken years, mostly in that bunker, for Abby to understand that her daughter had simply found a way to survive, she was playing by Earth rules now, and that Clarke was no longer a child. She loved her and she always would, but there things that Clarke had done that even she wasn't sure she had the power to forgive Clarke for doing.

"Maybe there are no good guys," Abby stated.

Octavia turned her head and saw that Abby had joined her in the office. She sat down her papers and pen and looked over the dark haired woman. The more Octavia studied Abby the more she wondered what Jake had looked like. Abby and Clarke were as different as night and day, but there was still enough commonality between them to make them family.

"What?"

"It is what I told Clarke when we met again just after the fall of Mount Weather. I was trying to help her, but I think that I pushed her further away. It's my fault, you know? That all this happened. That she is the way she is."

Octavia didn't know what to say to that. She simply made an noise that sounded something between understanding and agreement. But, she watched Abby more closely, wondering where her mind was taking her today.

"I need to walk around."

"Mmhmm," Octavia agreed.

"The people must think something major is going on, since I've been locked in here with you."

"Mmmhmmm," Octavia voiced.

"Will you let me out?"

"We'll be taking lunch in the mess. Kane, Miller, Jackson, Niylah, Delphia, and Indra will join us. It will do the people good to us _well._"

"They think that you are sick?"

"Yes," Octavia replied.

"Why?"

"Because they would worry too much about loosing you that they would loose focus on survival. I could not let that happen. Indra and Miller already know what to do should something happen to me. They would take charge and continue the mission to get us above ground again. I have faith in them."

"But, you don't have faith in me?" Abby questioned.

"It isn't a lack of faith in you, Abby. It never was. It was the rest of your _fisas_ that troubled me. You understand the technology and have embraced their healing methods. In fact, you use some of theirs over ours because they are much more...efficient, I believe."

"They are."

"Then, you can understand why I can't afford to lose your knowledge while we are all trapped in this concrete box in the ground."

Abby just nodded. She seemed lost in thought for a few moments. Then, she turned and looked up at Octavia.

"Jackson will be bringing me a pill just before lunch, won't he?"

"Like normal, yes."

"You trust him with my life, but you don't trust him with the bunker," Abby realized aloud.

"Something like that," Octavia murmured.

"He is a capable doctor, Octavia. Smartest of his class or I wouldn't have taken him on. He was helping me train Clarke as soon as she could see into patient's beds in the Med Bay. There has only one person that I thought that would succeed me on the Ark before him," Abby mused.

"Clarke?"

"Yes, she was next in line to the be chief doctor and surgeon as soon as she passed her tests."

"But?"

"She was locked up before she could take the exams. So you see, everything that she's become, everything that she's done, has been because I didn't trust her father enough and I tried Jaha too much. This is all my fault," Abby lamented.

"Abby, had things not happened the way that they had, we'd all be dead, floating in a big metal box, circling the Earth, until it wasn't. Clarke learned from you. She kept us relatively healthy. She saved Finn before he went cuckoo. She done more patching and stitching than most Grounder _fisas, _but some of it was all trial and error."

"What do you mean?"

"She didn't tell you that Jaha kept her in solitary. She never got to finish Earth studies. She kept Monty around to help her with that. She took what you and Jake taught her and she fought for us to live as soon as her boots hit the ground. I realized quickly that I would need to stay by her. She would take care of us," Octavia explained. "Don't get me wrong, I don't think we liked each other too much in the beginning, but she didn't treat me like a kid. She let me make mistakes. She helped me make them sometimes. But, in the end, she helped me learn who I was meant to be. Clarke was the most rational person we had. Bellamy was all 'take charge and guns a blazin' into everything,' while Clarke tried to think things through. She put aside her personal feelings and tried to see the bigger picture. I envy that now."

"You envy Clarke?"

"I know that you were Chancellor, Abby, but you were never the leader of our people. I hate to say it but's it's the truth. You held a title while Clarke held the power. She fought, she bled, and she gave up her soul for us and how did we thank her? We pushed her aside, we blamed her and we hated her for making the decisions that kept the majority of us hundred alive. She made it her mission to keep us alive. And, in the end, she managed to save...what...eight, ten, twelve of us. But, she did it. And, you can't tell me how many night she broke down because of the weight she bears."

"And, you bear this weight, too?"

"I killed eleven people to get through a door that my own people barricaded. I gave them a choice to back down or die. I did that because I knew that we wouldn't survive if we just started killing each other whenever the mood struck. I created the fitting pits to be an equalizer. I never would have thought that Cooper would have survived the first one and become a warrior because of it."

"Why not?"

"She had nothing to live for. Her family was dead. She had no children. She had no one to love. She was just a mind and a farmer. She was cog, not a person. She had nothing to live for when she started that coup, Abby. But, in that pit, something changed."

"What?"

"Her need to survive overrode her need to suffer."

"So, Clarke suffered for our survival?"

"Everyday. She knew that her suffering would buffer the rest. Why make all suffer when one can bear the weight? The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few," Octavia told her. "We all survive together or we all die together. Clarke was the only one of us that was strong enough to stand up and do what she had to do in order to protect us and grant us some peace."

"And, then Pike..."

"It wasn't just Pike, Abby. The people are foolish. The believe what you tell them to believe. Like the mobs in Rome, they have to be led to a common goal."

"And ours is to survive?"

"Yes, we are the last of man. We have done things in this bunker that we would have never thought of doing on the ground. The fighting pits being one of them. But, people were floated on the Ark. I at least gave them a fighting chance to live to see another day. Crimes in here aren't against the individual, Abby. They are against the whole."

"But, you saved me," Abby countered.

"No, I didn't protect you. I healed you. You were sick. And, to be honest, I would never put you in the pits."

"But I stole from the bunker..."

"Kane stole from the bunker," Octavia told her.

"What?"

"If needed, he's already confessed to your crimes. He will take your punishment for you. And, as you are still our head doctor, I will allow it."

"But?!"

"The needs of many, Abby. You are needed by many. Kane could be replaced easily and he knows it. He has no rank here. He isn't a member of the guard. He speaks languages that no one left on Earth speaks. He's smart, resourceful and a fighter. If he was pushed into the pits, he would come out the winner."

"I can't let him do that," Abby stated.

"It isn't up to you, Abby. It never was. It was always up to me."

"But, why?"

"Because like your daughter, I could have pulled the lever and irradiated Mount Weather. Bellamy couldn't do that on his own, no matter how much he tries to say that he could. Clarke was the one that made the decision. She pulled the lever. She committed the act. Bellamy was just along for the ride and when she needed absolution, she ran from us. She ran because she knew that we wouldn't be able to give it to her."

"And, the Grounders could?" Abby asked.

"No, the only person that could was Clarke. She had to find the peace in what she did. I know that is was hard for her to do so. She was pushed into a corner, but she wasn't willing to sacrifice anyone left in Arkadia or more Grounders being taken. She saw it as only saving the forty-four that Cage had imprisoned, but it was much more than that. If she'd made some deal with them to let them take our marrow, who knows the untold about suffering that it would have caused. She not only ended the longest running Grounder war in their history. She stopped us from being in a constant state of flux and despair due to the harvest of our marrow and the Mountain Men being free."

"But, we could have..."

"They would have turned on us. They would have taken over Arkadia. They would have hunted down the Grounders and those they didn't kill, they would have made slaves. No, Clarke did us all a favor in killing them to their last child. It sounds cruel, but at least with their genocide, our future generations have nothing to fear from them or the Mountain," Octavia explained. "It is the silent victory of war, Abby. The unknown amount of lives saved because of those you've taken today. The warrior pays that price because they know that they are saving those back at home and they are wiling to suffer for it."

Abby just stared at her, wondering where she was getting this thought process. Octavia thought over some things that she'd read while under the floor. It seemed like such a lifetime ago, but it was barely over five years ago. As she thought, she heard the radio click and knew that it was recording.

She glanced at the clock. Clarke was on time...again. She'd listen to today's message after she put Abby to bed tonight. She wondered how many more nights that Abby would have to stay.

"A famous America patriot once said, 'If there must be trouble, let it be in my day, that my child may have peace," Abby told her.

"Yes, and Horace, the famous Roman poet, said 'In Love there are two evils: war and peace'."

"I would fight if I could," Abby stated. "For Clarke. For all of you."

"You are fighting, Abby. You're fighting to live now and that is a fight in and of itself. Don't stop fighting. We'll find Clarke when we get out of here. We will."

"So which evil are you feeding?" Abby asked.

"Peace."

"Why?"

"Because all we do as men in peace is prepare for war."

"How so?" Abby inquired.

"In war, we fight to protect those and what we love, hold dear and believe in. In peace, we grow stronger. We build weapons and train. We prepare for the next threat. We don't try to reason and understand fully either way, in peace or war. But, in either circumstance we are willing to do whatever it takes to make sure that those that we love survive. Even if it goes against our own morality."

"There are no good guys," Abby reiterated.

"Exactly. There never has been. It has always been them or us. And, like Darwin suggested, the strongest survive."


	35. Chapter 35

**Chapter 35**

Octavia looked at them both. Her anger subsided and she let them in the office. Clarke was, naturally now, very aware of the two and what they had just said to Octavia. When Octavia met her eyes, she saw a fire in them and it wasn't lust or desire. It was outrage and, dare Octavia even think it, angry hate. _Wanheda _was waking.

"What has my brother done now?" Octavia asked them.

"It isn't what he's done. It's what he knows and who else knows," Harper started. "And, it concerns Madi."

Octavia didn't miss the way that Clarke's eyes flew to the bedroom again. This was just seconds before Clarke was stomping across the office at them. Octavia moved quickly add intercepted her. Their eyes met and whatever Clarke saw there, it was enough to calm her, slightly.

"He's not they immediate threat though," Monty stated.

"Speak plainly and truthfully, Monty," Octavia commanded.

"I was in the farm looking over the plants. I know that you asked me to do that, to see if there was anything that I could do to help things along. Cooper wasn't lying when she said that things were going fallow again. Things look bleak, but I am not saying that I can't make it better."

"And, what does that have to do with Cooper?" Octavia asked.

"I don't believe that she's been rotating the crops as it was proscribed in the handbooks left by Second Dawn. They seemed to have left some seeds and plantings in the lab that were supposed to cultivated and rotated. This rotation would guarantee that the farm could run indefinitely. However it seems that the cult leader wasn't planning on letting everyone live underground forever. He had radiation suits and he ran some sort of exploritory missions outside to see how those that were still there were surviving. It looks like one of his scientists and the main biologist for the Second Dawn cult didn't agree with his ideas. He came up with plans for a five to ten years underground and started preparation for a large scale repopulation project."

"What was this man's name?" Clarke questioned.

"According to the records, he is listed at Commander Liam Woodson."

"_Heda Liam kom Trikru," _Octavia replied.

"What?" all three of them voiced.

"He is the founder of the _Trikru clans_ and moved them around Polis, founded TonDC and a place to use Becca's serum. He called it Nav Cad. He taught survival and war tactics. He took the Flame from Becca. He was the first 'Grounder' _Heda. _He was a Commander in the US Navy. Becca came back down in the Polaris pod. Polis was named from that by those that survived the bunker."

"I thought it was named after the Naval Academy," Clarke stated. "You know Annapolis. It just made sense."

"Except it is in the wrong place. We're too far north to be Annapolis. Nav Cad was a small fishing village south of Polis and directly east of TonDC. The _Natblidas _would train there until _Heda Delcron of Azgeda. _He stated that then that _Natblidas _had to be trained by the clan in power in their own version of _Natblida_ school. This continued until a few _hedas _before Lexa when Titus and the other Flamekeepers were brought to Polis. This is when the practice of all _Natblidas _being brought to Polis by the Flamekeepers started. It was because the _Heda _wasn't well liked and he was paranoid. He wanted the _natblidas_ close so that he could train them, corrupt them, and make them in his image. It was also about control. If he had them, they couldn't come for his head. They would devote themselves to him and to his causes. It wasn't until their conclaves that they learned how much power they actually had because of their blood and beliefs," Octavia explained.

"What?!" Clarke breathed out.

"Where did you learn all that?" Monty inquired.

"I had a lot of time to read," Octavia answered with a grin. "Besides, I needed to know what they believed in order to move things around enough to make it believable that we would survive this and we would still have a _kongeda _when we were back on the surface. I had to know about their pasts, their history, their legends and beliefs in order to make them all align with ours. We were no longer twelve nations. We became one."

Monty cocked an eyebrow at her, but shook his head. "Anyway, this Liam guy was wickedly smart. Like me, Raven, your dad and Sinclair all together smart. He figure out Becca's serum was what was letting them live in the radiation. He sent people out to find survivors and he began giving them all the serum. It is why _Natblidas_ are so rare. It was an inoculation not a mutation. Those that are _Natblidas_ now have a mutated version of the serum in their blood. It marks them as different," Monty told them.

"And, why there are so few per generation," Clarke added.

Monty nodded, "So, Madi is truly special."

"But, what does that have to do with the farm?" Clarke questioned.

"Liam pushed biology and used Becca's notes to make the farm better. I found some of his notes but they stop about two months after Becca came down. I think this is when the bunker was completely opened by those who didn't have radiation suits. They would have been desperate for medical care and Cadogan was a bastard. He started killing anyone that didn't follow him and his prescribed ways of life. He started with Becca. With her death, it looks like Liam and some of the other higher ups in Cadogan's cult rose up against him and killed him. They took the serum and separated trying to save the masses. Liam stayed near here. He went TonDC, probably to secure military items and such and then moved to Nav Cad. He was more comfortable at sea and with ships being a Navy man. He started _Trikru, _but he moved back to the sea."

"And, this is something that Cooper could have been using?" Octavia asked.

"Yes, she had full access to it. She never used it from what I can tell. Instead, she followed Cadogan's teachings. She's become an elitist and she believes that only those that Octavia deems are worthy should be able to walk on the surface. She's willing to sacrifice the bunker to prove to you her loyalty. She see the council and the warriors as those that are the only ones worthy to go forth out and survive. The others were just a means to an end."

"MILLER!"

"He's with Niylah," Clarke gently reminded her.

"_JOK! __I can't leave her in charge. She'll poison us. She turned her coup into the long game and I didn't see it."  
_

_"You weren't meant to, Oktevia. She never stopped pushing you, right? She pushed for the execution and the harsh punishments. She pushed and pushed and made herself necessary to you. Keeping you close and staying close to you, gave her what she wanted," _Clarke told her.

"What was that?"

"Position. She's been setting herself up to take over. She knows that you've selected Indra, but she doesn't know about Madi. If she figures it out, she'll..."

"I'll kill her first," Octavia swore.

"You'd have to get in line," Harper added, reminding Clarke and Octavia that they were still there.

"Is there more?" Octavia asked them.

"She's breeding the sand worms in the farm lab."

"She's what now?"

"She managed to save one or two, I'm guessing from Obika. She's got hundreds or thousands ready to go. I don't know what she's going to do with them," Monty told her, obviously this is what upset him completely.

"Biological warfare," Clarke stated.

"They'll be our Murphy. She's going to be sending them with the troops to flood the valley. They'll kill every living thing there. It would destroy the valley," Octavia replied. "Is she really that stupid? She would destroy the valley for some sort of misguided devotion."

"She's a fanatic. She would. She's crazy, O. She wants Clarke out of her way and she wants back by your side," Harper stated.

"She never was at my side completely. Indra and Miller are and always have been. In a pinch, it was Kane, Abby and Niylah, but never Cooper. I couldn't trust her. I kept her close to watch her, but I guess I didn't do as good a job as I should've."

"She's good. It took me a while to see what she'd done. But, she was also very supportive, honestly too supportive, of killing those that would defect. She's trying make you look worse and she's subtly making waves," Monty told her.

"She's the one that kept warning me of an uprising," Octavia stated.

"Because she could prove how loyal she was to you be destroying your enemies. To you, she would seem loyal and it was gain her more position. To the bunker, she would just be carrying out your orders. It would make you more hated, feared, and questioned. All she had to do was talk to the right people, sow the right words and thoughts, and a new coup is born. She would have said enough to protect herself and be seen as a loyal soldier that could be turned, but it would never be enough to be turned in outright. And, anyone planning the coup wouldn't dare name her because she was one of most loyal. It would cost them their lives and they knew it. She was protected and she knows it," Monty added.

"Not anymore, she isn't," Clarke stated.

"Why not?" Harper asked.

"Because I'm going to join _Wonkru_ and kneel before the _Osleya," _Clarke told them while she looked Octavia in the eye.

"Clarke?"

"And, you will, too. We need to give a united front. I'll deal with Bellamy. I'll talk to him."

"This would take care of the problem currently in a cell," Octavia said.

"And, it would free up the worries of some of them people. It will also make sure that Madi is protected. Gaia doesn't know that she's a natural born. She still believes that I created the serum and injected her with it, like I did for myself. I can still use that. As soon as we join _Wonkru, _it won't matter who Madi is because she'll be a member of the _kru. _She might be revered, but Octavia, there are no more _hedas. _Their time is over and it now the time of _Blodreina en Wanheda. _I will not let my daughter lead this battle. I cannot lose her," Clarke told them all with all of her "Mama Bear" conviction.

_"You won't. I promise you that, Klark. I already have and I always will."_

Octavia hadn't realized that she'd said in Trig, but it didn't matter. Clarke understood it. She knew that Octavia's words were loaded. And, she also knew that Indra and Miller were already told what to do if something happened to either Clarke or herself when it concerned Madi. The girl was the most protected person in the bunker and didn't even know it.

"Go. Prepare the ceremony. I'll deal with Bellamy," Clarke told her as she reached over and took Octavia's hand.

Octavia nodded and ran to the door. She ripped it open and spoke with the guards there. They were her most loyal and her fiercest. She knew that they would do as commanded without thought and quickly. She was right. No sooner had she said the words did one of the guards, the lankiest of the four there, took off like a shot down the concrete ramp and into the bunker.

"I'll get Madi," Clarke told them and then walked into the bedroom.

Monty and Harper looked from Clarke and Octavia, back to each other, and then back to the two leaders. They had obviously missed something in the last few hours. Octavia noticed their looks and then closed her eyes. She wanted to tell them that there was something between herself and Clarke, but she didn't even know if there was something there. Sure, they had been kissing before they were interrupted, but it was the first time that Octavia dared to hope that Clarke could actually love her. But, then another thought hit her. Monty and Harper were supposed to monitoring the radio for Echo or Raven to contact them by, but they were in her office and not with the radio.

"Who's manning the radio?" Octavia asked them.

"I am," Monty said as he pulled out his "modified" LazerCom that Bellamy had lifted off the ship.

"Clever Boy," Octavia stated as she moved back to her desk and their war plans. "You want to have a look and see if there is something that I'm missing."

"Couldn't hurt, I guess," Monty said as he walked over to the desk.

Octavia watched Monty's mind working as he studied their plans and maps. She saw him doing math and running figures. She didn't ask him what they were about. She didn't care. It was just good to see that Monty was helping. He was seeing passed the tyrant they thought that Octavia had become. He realized that she was still fighting, and like Clarke, she was willing to bear it all so that they would all live. She thinks that the thing that turned him was her asking him to fix the farm. It meant that she wasn't going to abandon Polis and she was willing to stay there if they had to. She wanted a better life and she wanted to give them all the valley, but she knew what a monumental task it was going to be. She needed help and she would take all the help that she could get.

Bellamy came into the office about fifteen minutes later. Miller and Indra right behind him. Gaia was coming in shortly behind them. Octavia wasn't sure that she could trust her priestess, but she couldn't let it seem like she didn't. Not now, anyway. Gaia was the one that was helping her pave the way for the Starling and the Earthling. She needed Gaia to stay on her side.

"What is it, O? What's going on? What are you planning now?" Bellamy asked, but it was more like he was accusing.

It was at this moment that Clarke and Madi came in from the bedroom. Clarke looked at him and shook her head. He was still upset about the deaths in the bunker and what Octavia had done to keep them alive, but he just didn't understand. He'd never made decision of that magnitude and the more she saw him like this, the more she saw that he was a follower. Echo had more balls than he did at the moment.

"She's not doing anything. Madi and I are joining _Wonkru. _Tonight before the whole bunker," Clarke announced.

Bellamy winced. He went to go say something, but he was stopped by a look from Clarke. Octavia turned and faced her again. The smile evident.

"Will you take the pauldron?"

"Yes," Clarke answered.

"I'll inform the bunker," Indra stated left.

"I'll get the guard in position," Miller added.

"No, Indra will do the ceremony with me. She'll be by my side. I need you to take care of something."

"Niylah?" he asked her.

"No, she'll be released to see the ceremony. I need you to find Cooper, strip her of any weapons and put her in a cell. She's going to kill us all if we don't stop her and I will not allow that to happen. She will be charged after the ceremony. Go," she told Miller.

"_Sha, Blodreina," _he replied and saluted, leaving promptly with his new orders.

"Gaia?"

"_Sha, Osleya?"_

_"Klark needs to speak with you about the child."_

Clarke nodded and extended her hand to Gaia. The Flame Keeper looked from Octavia to Clarke. She took Clarke's hand and followed her into Octavia's bedroom. Bellamy, Monty and Harper just watched on, mostly in wonder.

"What the hell did I miss?" Bellamy asked.

"Clarke is about to tell Gaia the truth about Madi. They are going to join _Wonkru. _Clarke is doing this to protect Madi because she knows that everyone in the bunker will follow Madi if it comes to that. And, she knows that everyone will protect her because she is the last of the _Natblidas," _Octavia told them.

"And, you?"

"She might not be my child, Bellamy, but I will protect her like she is. She will start training tomorrow with the other children. I'll partner her with Ethan, my own fosterling," Octavia assured them. "But, I need Echo to follow through. I need to know that we can move soon. The people are restless and I don't blame them. Monty, please continue your work. I'll send for you for the ceremony. Harper?"

"I'll go with him. I'll help him and monitor the radio. Send a guard with us. I'll send them back if we have word," Harper offered.

"Take Delphia. She's outside the door. She's already been assigned to you in Abby's absence," Octavia replied with a smiled.

"Figured we had our own," Harper replied, with a slight smirk.

Octavia nodded. It was a more recent development, and it was to spy on them. She was afraid of what they might hear and decide on their own. Thankfully, Harper seemed to take it all in stride. She watched, waited, and then formed her own conclusions about everything. She saw what Octavia had learned by being in charge of the bunker and she knew that Octavia was trying. The other part of the problem was that Octavia was never really a member of the Ark, and as such had taken an immediately liking to Grounder life. Harper couldn't blame her. Octavia had done what she thought was best for her own survival and now, she was the leader of some eight hundred plus people, ninety percent of those people being from Grounder clans. Octavia was going to be a little more ruthless and cold. And, Harper could appreciate it. She had also seen something that no one else had or had commented on yet. And, that was how where Octavia was cold, Clarke was not. Where Clarke was hard, Octavia was not. They complemented each other, much like Clarke had with Lexa. Harper may not know what it meant, but she knew that sense Clarke cared for them, Octavia would as well. She may not like the way they got there, but she knew that Clarke and Octavia would still get them there. And, for now, that was enough. She grabbed Monty and they left the office, leaving Octavia and Bellamy alone. She gave Octavia some parting words that she'd heard from Echo and only once in jest towards Monty, "E_m's yur bro, ba em's yur plana_." (He's your brother, but she's your woman.) When Octavia realized what Harper had, she was already gone.

"Octavia, what are you planning?"

"I'm planning nothing new, big brother. I am trying to find a way across a desert that wants to kill us with as many men as I can. I am trying to protect the bunker from a possible coup or a raid from Diyoza when she doesn't get the numbers that she wants. I am trying to find a way to keep the bunker going because I know that we won't all be ready to go to Eden at first. So, I gave Monty a job," Octavia told her.

"He already tried to get into the ship's system. He can't from here. He's told you that," Bellamy protested.

"That isn't his job anymore."

"Then, what is?"

"To get my farm running again," Octavia told him as she went back to her maps and lists at her desk. "It seems that one of my closest members has been playing me since I didn't execute them. Which is both amazing and stressful at this time. I am having to make sure that nothing else goes wrong from withing these wall, Bell. I have to protect my people."

"And, Clarke is your people?" Bellamy questioned, roughly as he stared at the closed bedroom door.

"Tonight, she will be," Octavia said with a finality that he'd never heard from Octavia before.

Her searched her eyes. There was a cold hardness there, but it wasn't like those of some of the Grounders he'd met. There was still the playful little girl that was his little sister, but she was locked away behind a roughly honed woman. Octavia reminded him of the Amazons. She was their warrior queen and their devotion was borderline fanatical. It wasn't the same as Lexa's, but it was damn near close. He could only wonder what stories he hadn't been told and what he didn't know that caused all this to happen.

"Six years is a long time, Bellamy. I grew up. I became their _Blodreina._ What did you do in Space? Hmm? Fell in love with a traitor? Ate algae?"

"I survived."

"So, did we," Octavia replied. "You have to understand something, big brother. You have no power here. So, I'll tell you again. You are either _Wonkru_ or the enemy of _Wonkru, _choose."

She watched as he walked out. She knew that he was still having a hard time dealing with everything. She would give him time, but only because he was her brother. If he became too much, he'd be in a cell, just like Cooper. She couldn't have him undermining her. She couldn't have him causing her issues.

"He left?" Clarke asked as they all came out of the bedroom again.

Octavia merely nodded.

"You have nothing to fear from me, _Blodreina,_" Gaia said as she neared the desk. "We've talked. Madi doesn't want the flame. You are still the _Osleya."_

"Good to know," Octavia replied.

"I will perform the rite tonight in my mother's place," Gaia suggested.

"Why?"

"Because if I don't demand that Madi or Clarke for that matter be named leader, the people will follow. The whispers of the Starling and the Earthling are starting to circulate more and more. By Clarke joining, taking a knee and accepting the pauldron, she'll be cementing her place at your side, _Blodreina. _When Madi does the same, beside her own mother and the _Wanheda, _the people will accept it. Niylah's information will mean nothing to the people because they would have already seen her blood with their own eyes. Guards may step forward, however, and ask to be assigned to them as they will obviously bear some higher rank among the people, but they will see what the need to see in order to believe."

"I should be worried about the guards?" Octavia asked her.

"Not in that fashion, _Blodreina, _no."

"Then how?" Clarke questioned.

"They will see guarding a _Natblida, _pure or not as an honor. They might even fight for it. I am sure that Octavia already has guards set aside for you both, but Miller will have to watch the more devout of his ranks. They might contend for your favor and go out of their way to prove themselves to not only you and Madi, but also, _Blodreina, _skipping their chain of command all together."

"I'll speak with them after the ceremony. It is good to know these things. And, what will you do with Madi?" Octavia inquired.

"She will start school like the rest. She is special. She is a pure _Natblida."_

_"_What does that mean?" Clarke questioned.

"It means, _Wanheda, _that no matter how long you keep her at peace, she is a warrior at heart. It is why she gravitates to _Blodreina._ Her entire body is telling her to fight. Why do you think that you both survived for so long by yourselves? It was your blood and your bond. Together, you will be great. But, when or if, Madi is ever ready to take the Flame, she will be greater."

"I don't want it," Madi stated quickly.

"And, I won't ever force you to take it. If the need arises and you decide to take it, then and only then would I give it to you. The Flame must be taken willingly, Madi. Your mother knows this. But, she is right not to trust some of those who would serve a _heda _again. They would force you to take it, convince you that it is the only way to save us all because you would have all the Commanders before you to help you. But, Madi, being the Commander means being alone. It means putting your people before yourself. It means..."

"Bearing it, so they don't have to," Clarke finished before quickly adding. "But, it never means that love is weakness. Understand? Loving your people and fighting for them is what makes the _heda _strong. But, it is a very lonely life, and one that your parents didn't want you to have. That I don't want you to have. I want you to be a kid and be happy. I don't want you having to worry about politics and wars. I can do that for you. I am still _Wanheda_, afterall."

"Trust me, Kid. Heavy lies the crown upon the head that wears it. Trust me, no one is every ready for it," Octavia told her and then looked up into Gaia's eyes. "Prepare the ceremony. Explain the change to your mother. It should be you anyway. It will bear more weight. Have her bring the pauldron. It will symbolize that Clarke is my _Sekkon, _but have her bring two. She needs to bear one as well. She is still my General."

"_Sha, Blodreina. It shall be done,_" Gaia replied and bowed. "I will make sure that Jackson provides clean bandages as well."

"Do you think the others will join, too, Clarke?" Madi asked.

"I don't know, Madi. But, it's there decision and we have to respect that. We can't make them and Octavia is giving them a choice that those in the bunker might not have gotten. So, we need to keep that little tidbit to ourselves, yeah?"

"They will when they see you do it, Clarke. They'll realize that it is for the best. We need to be one crew in order to survive. We can't keep fighting amongst ourselves. We'll destroy each other," Madi explained.

"When did you get so wise?"

"I had a good teacher," was Madi's only reply.


	36. Chapter 36

**Chapter 36**

**One thousand six hundred days after ****_Praimfaya_**

Octavia looked down at the log in front of her. She couldn't believe that they were on day 1600. It had been over four years. She was getting optimistic about them getting out of the bunker. By her calculations, they had little over two hundred twenty-five days. She knew that it would be longer than that, because she would need Bellamy and Clarke to dig them out. She had no idea how long that would take, but as the days passed, she got irrationally happy. She would soon have her family back, all of them.

She knew that Clarke was counting down the days, too. It did her good to hear the happiness in Clarke's voice. Bolstered with Clarke's optimism, Octavia was starting to relax a little. She knew that she couldn't fully because too many people would love to take her position. She still kept a healthy amount of paranoia, but she glad that Abby was better.

It had taken months, but after that first day out of the office, Abby had resolved to get better. Octavia kept her optimistic about Clarke and that seemed to make her stronger as well. She knew that Abby was still holding out hope, but she still didn't want to push her over the edge by telling her that Clarke was on the ground with her own child. She knew that Abby would lose it, knowing that her own baby was alone, with no one to help her. No, she had to keep Abby in the dark and hoping that Clarke was with Bellamy. And, it was that hope that kept Octavia bolstered, because as long as she believed that Bellamy was coming back for them, she could believe that they would get out. It might have been irrational, but it worked.

She kept Niylah closer lately. She didn't know why, but she felt like she needed something more since Abby was not with her. She remembered many nights when she couldn't sleep because the stress of being the leader has pushed her over the edge, sitting up and talking with Abby. Her conversations with Niylah were different than those with Abby. With Abby, she spoke about logistics and planning. With Niylah she spoke about grounder legends.

She should have known that even though Niylah was technically _Trikru_, that she would latch on to Gaia's "blended" version of the Starling and the Earthling legends. She needed someone who could see what Octavia did. But, she didn't know how deeply Niylah proscribed to the ideals of the legend. Niylah didn't outright refer to her as the Earthling, but she could see it. She spoke about it often enough when they were alone, but Octavia just thought that she was looking for something to hold on to. They all were.

It had been over four years and they were all still staring at the same gray wall. They has survived through sicknesses. They had survived the farm failing. They all knew that they were trapped under layers of rubble above them. They dealt with the coup. They had all settled into their new lives in the bunker and were all remarkably dealing with it.

Niylah enjoyed being Octavia's quartermaster, librarian and an emergency healer. Thankfully, she didn't have to do each job every day. But, Octavia should have seen more in the woman, she thought. She wanted to care for her, but she just couldn't. She was still mourning and she knew that Niylah was mourning Clarke. She couldn't do that to the honey blonde. She couldn't care for her like that, even if Niylah had tried several times, because she knew that Clarke was still alive. She knew that Niylah could still have a chance with Clarke, when they finally got out of the bunker. But, she needed the companionship that Niylah gave her. She needed someone to help her forget and just be. And, that was the one thing that Niylah failed to do for her, she treated Octavia like she treated everyone else, equally and without prejudice.

She shut down her logs and notes. Looking across the office, she saw the _Heda_ tome and the book of legends. She felt the book calling to her. She didn't know why, but she felt it calling her more and more as their days in the bunker neared the end. She wondered more and more how the people were thinking about the legend and what it would mean for them when they got back to the surface.

She resolved that she would have to tell Indra about Clarke before Clarke and crew came to dig them out. She would want Indra to help her plan on a way to get back to Eden with all of them intact. She'd heard all of Clarke's cautionary tells about the deserts that surrounded them. But, Clarke had something that she didn't. The rover. Clarke spoke in terms of time it took to get from one landmark to others. Octavia knew that if she gave Indra a map, her general would be able to calculate a "march" time. And, that was something that worried Octavia. The desert was surrounding Polis and it stretched to Eden. They would need supplies and lots of them. They would have to start thinking about things like that now.

She sat back and looked at the tome again. At one point, she actually started to believe her own propaganda. She knew that she fit the description of the Earthling completely, but then again, so did Lexa.

"Hair the color of Earth and eyes like the forest..." she mused.

She could only wonder what Clarke would think when they met again. She closed her eyes. She let out a breath and leaned back into her chair. Her thoughts drifted to Clarke in Eden. She could picture it and she dreamed that she was there with her. It was blissful, but she knew that it was just a dream. She couldn't let herself get lost in it. No matter how much she wished for the serenity that Eden would give her, she didn't feel like she deserved it. Nor did she believe that it would only ever be her, Clarke and Madi. It was a pipe dream, but nevertheless it was something she hoped she could strive for. She wanted to be worthy of Clarke and Madi when she got of the bunker. She was already so tainted; she was covered in blood, innocent and not.

There was a knock at her door. She glanced up at the clock and realized how late it really was. She looked back down at the logs. She shook her head at them. She had wasted so much of her day just trying to make sure that things were still running the way that they should, that she forgot to eat and she forgot that she was supposed to have a council meeting. She wondered if it was Indra coming to get her.

"Enter."

The door swung open softly. She immediately ruled out Indra. A honey blond head peeked around the door to look at her. Octavia could see the caution in her eyes. She relaxed some more in her chair and waved the woman into the office.

"What is it, Niylah?"

"I've been hearing things in the lower levels, _Osleya," _Niylah told her.

Octavia cocked her head. It wasn't like Niylah to started addressing her so formally. Usually, she didn't call her anything other than Octavia unless someone else was present or she was being officially dismissed. Octavia squinted at her, trying to figure out what the woman wanted. Niylah wasn't a spy, but she did bring things to Octavia that the others of her council didn't. The people trusted her and feared her because she was close to Octavia and she knew it. She played with it as she needed to get what she wanted in the bunker. She was self-sufficient and tactful. She never once asked Octavia for anything other than time. It was an easy request and one that Octavia gave her without thought. Niylah never abused her position with Octavia, so giving her time was an easy thing to do because she knew that it meant that Niylah as still working on whatever problem she asked her to look into.

"Hearing things?"

"_Sha."_

"Like?"

"I've heard whispers of the name _Graunnomfa._"

Octavia picked up her head. She was more than a little shocked of the name. She knew what it meant. She was the one that had Gaia teaching the legends, but she was obviously very surprised to hear it coming from Niylah's mouth. She was shocked and a little apprehensive at the same time. If Niylah was hearing this, who did they believe was this "_Graunnomfa?"_

_"From?" _Octavia asked her as she stood up from her desk.

Niylah pointed to the couches, and Octavia nodded. They both walked over to them and sat down. They were facing each other on opposite couches. Octavia leaned back into the corner of the couch that she was sitting on. She tried to look like she was indifferent to the news that Niylah was about to give her, but she knew that she was failing. She crossed one leg across the other knee and rest her right hand on her knee and left on the arm of the couch. Niylah took everything in, watching her leader and knowing that Octavia knew of the legends.

"The elders of each clan still meet and talk. It isn't a secret, really, because they don't really influence anything. They've noted that the _Flamkepa _has been teaching the legends, but it was more of a blended version. They've also noted that the _Skaikru _don't believe."

"And?"

"They believe that the _Graunnomfa _must be someone with _natjus."_

"There are no more _Natblidas, Niylah,_" Octavia told her.

"I know that. Lexa was the last _heda _and no _natblida _survive for the conclave. Clarke was disavowed before the ambassadors. She will never be given the _flaim,_" Niylah stated.

"So, if they believe that the _graunnomfa _must be a _natblida_, why are they so worried?"

"Because you are the _Osleya,_" Niylah remarked.

"Explain," Octavia commanded.

She wanted to know. She needed to know. She knew it was wrong to use their legends against them, but if it got her more control and made things easier when they got back to the surface, she would do it. She was indeed the _Osleya en Blodreina. _She was the "Red Queen." She'd bathed in the bloods of the traitors of _Wonkru. _She wasn't willing to lose everything to someone else, unless that someone was Clarke.

"They have been watching you, learning about you, and pondering your leadership."

"Should I be worried?" Octavia asked her.

"No, nothing like that. They are looking for similarities to their legends. They know that you were originally _Skaikru, _but you were taken into _Trikru."_

_"_I fought for _Skaikru _in the conclave."

"But, you are considered Indra's daughter. She's expressed as much and you're marked at _Trikru. _The fact that you went back to _Skaikru _for the conclave had them worried, but then the leaders of _Trishanakru _said that you showed loyalty by bringing each clan into the bunker. You fought against your own clan, even though you won the bunker for them. You were keeping the _Kongeda _alive. You'd stepped up as _Osleya."_

_"_I don't understand."

"All _natblidas _fought to win the conclave. The winner, the _Osleya,_ became _heda. _They reminded the others of that. The only reason that you aren't _heda _is your blood. You've proven your worth. You've guided us through many issues. You're saving us and you're doing everything to make sure that we make it back to the surface. You haven't broken. You're still strong," Niylah explained.

Octavia cocked an eyebrow at her last statement.

"Suddenly, _Delphikru _whispered _graunnomfa."_

_"_And, what did the others say?"

"You bear the colorings, Octavia and you know it. Hair like the dark earth and eyes the color of the leaves of summer. According to _Azgeda_, you bear the heart of the heartiest of warriors and could survive the harshest of winters by your prowess alone. They are surprised at how don't punish all of them for a few's mistakes, but _Podakru_ said it was because you value life and don't want to waste it. They all seem to be examining their own versions of the legends to see how you fit, but they all believe that you've been born of the Earth or will be twice," Niylah stated.

"Born of the Earth, twice?"

"You fell from the stars and joined _Trikru. _This was your first birth. And, the second could be winning the conclave and becoming the _Osleya._ It is considered a position that you are 'born' into through blood. Others state, your second birth will happen when we get out of the bunker. It will be a literal birth from the Earth and those clans are all praying for it for you," Niylah told her.

"Do they fear me?"

"No, they don't. They want you succeed. They want to see you born again."

"And, you, Niylah, what do you believe?"

She watched as the honey blond rang her hands for a brief few moments. She could tell that she was trying to gather her thoughts before saying anything to Octavia. She couldn't tell if Niylah was nervous or just thinking. She'd gotten better at hiding her emotions in the bunker.

"I think that the people need you to be the _Graunnomfa."_

_"En yu?" _Octavia questioned.

"I believe that you could be if you wanted. You certainly have the markings and the qualifications. But, I learned a long time ago that anything can be made to follow stories, Octavia. It is the victor that controls the masses and right now, you are our victor," Niylah replied.

Octavia nodded. She was a little crushed, but Niylah had basically called her out on the propaganda that she was using to make sure that the people would follow her. She wondered what else Niylah thought about it.

"And, would you still follow me if they made me _Graunnomfa?"_

_"_You already are, Octavia. That is what I'm saying. The whispers are starting to get louder."

"But, do you believe that I'm this _Graunnomfa?"_

Niylah looked down at the floor. She blinked a few times and then looked back up at Octavia. She could see something in the woman's hazel eyes, but she couldn't make it out. When Niylah looked back into her eyes after looking around the office, Octavia saw sorrow and heart break that she couldn't place. She didn't understand the woman before her. She never had, but she had always tried to do right by her.

"I believe that had Lexa lived, she would have been the _Graunnomfa _and Clarke would have become her _noumon. _Clarke bears the _keryon _of a _gona en fisa. She is the skaiprisa. She has colors and the markings of the one that would be called '_Skaifayagoufa,' _but then so could most of Skaikru."_

_"_But, she is the only one of us that has hair the color of the sun and eyes the color of the sea," Octavia added.

"That maybe true and that is why the people will look to her when we are back on the surface, Octavia. They would see you partner with her. They would see their legends made flesh. Would you give them this? Would you play the part?"

"I will deliver us back to the surface," Octavia stated.

"And, would you partner with Clarke?"

Octavia couldn't tell what she meant by the question. There was a fire and a sorrow in her eyes. She knew that grounders thought of partnering as different things, so Octavia couldn't be certain what she meant. Did the honey blond expect her to mate with Clarke or just join together as leaders? As she sat there, she had to admit that she was adverse to doing both.

"Clarke and I have a strange relationship, Niylah. We work together well, but I doubt that there is anything more than that between us. She still mourns for Lexa and I still mourn Lincoln. Illian was a mistake. I thought that I needed someone to be complete. I realized that I was wrong. Illian used me and I used him. I cared for him in my own way, but I didn't love him."

"You can't love me either, can you?" Niylah asked her.

"Not when you could be claimed by another," Octavia stated.

"She never claimed me, Octavia. And, if she is the _Skaifaygouga,_ she never will. She'll claim you though," Niylah told her.

Octavia finally realized what her eyes were trying to tell her. Niylah was letting them both go, because in her own way, she saw that Clarke and Octavia would be together when they got back to surface. She didn't know how Niylah knew that Octavia had already realized that Clarke was the "Starborne" or the "Starling," but she could see that Niylah believed that they would be the ones that led them to salvation once they got back to the ground.

"Niylah..."

"I care for you both, Octavia and I serve you both. You are my _Osleya. _My loyalty is to you first."

"But, your heart?"

"Will find another when it is time," Niylah assured her. "Speak to her, _ai Osleya. She can hear you. The prisa always will."_

And, with that, Niylah left. Octavia sat there. She couldn't tell when everything changed, but she could tell that Niylah was doing what she thought was best for her own heart. It hurt Octavia that she was hurting Niylah. She'd promised herself that she would protect her so she could be given back to Clarke. But, she was the one that was hurting her with the legends. This was a consequence that she hadn't seen. She should have, but she didn't. She needed to study the language of the legends again.

"Hey, Bell, sorry for the late transmission, but I can't sleep. I keep thinking about how I could have done things differently. But, that wouldn't have saved us in the end. We would have all died. _Praimfaya_ would have killed us all, _Skaikru _and Grounders alike. I keep thinking about what Octavia said after the conclave. We aren't better. We are all the same. She's right. We are all the same and we are all different. She was our best choice and I'm glad that she won.

"Don't tell her that. It'll go to her head. But, she is what they need in the bunker. She thinks of more than one way of doing things. I'm glad that you made me open the hatch. I am glad that she has you. We'll be together again. She'll save them, Bell. She'll save as many as she can. We've done all we can. Now, it is up to her.

"In the end, that is all we can want. We'll meet again. I know we will. And, I'll show you this valley. I can't wait for all of you to see it. I want to let Octavia live with me in the building that Madi and I live in. Madi told me that it was the leaders house. I think that it was something more than that before, but I can't tell. There is a lot of very old religious icons in here, but I don't know what any of them mean. I am sure that you or Octavia would.

"Come back to me, Bell. We need to get them out. I need everyone. I miss you all. May we meet again..." Clarke stated and the radio went quiet, again.

"We will meet again," Octavia determinedly said to her empty office and the radio.


	37. Chapter 37

**Chapter 37**

The evening came faster than they had anticipated. Octavia was nervous and she didn't know why. No, she did, but she didn't understand it. It wasn't like she was having a mating ceremony with Clarke in front of what was left of the bunker. She was just bringing Clarke into the fold. It was no different than when Lexa had asked her to knell as _Wanheda_ when _Skairkru_ joined the _Kongeda. _Or, was it? She didn't know what happened between Clarke and Lexa behind closed doors and she'd never asked. She trusted that Clarke wasn't going to get them all killed and that she was really just trying to get them a good trade alliance with the rest of the clans.

It wasn't Clarke's fault that Pike was a prick and a grade A asshole. No one could have predicted the idiocy that he would perpetuate and cause. In retrospect, maybe they should have and cut the head off the snake before he could strike, but Pike was clever and he waited until he could make his move. Octavia shook her head. She didn't want to think about Pike tonight of all nights. Pike was dead. He couldn't cause any problems for her today, directly. Indirectly, he could through Bellamy.

"Miller?"

"_Sha, Blodreina?"_

_"Is my brother guarded?"_

_"I sent Timo to him."_

_"Good."_

She calmed down a little more. It wasn't something that she wanted to do, but she knew that it was necessary. She was worried about Bellamy, but she hoped that Clarke had gotten through to him. It would be the only thing that would save him. She would hate to kill him, but she would. And, then she knew that she would have to kill Echo, regardless of what she'd done to get them into Eden. She rubbed her face.

"Second thoughts?" Clarke asked her.

"No," she answered quickly.

It might have seemed to quickly for Clarke. The blonde cocked her eyebrow at her as if she was saying, "Really?" and waited for Octavia to elaborate. She shook her head, closed her eyes and then turned to face Clarke head on. When she opened her green eyes, she looked deeply into Clarke's azure eyes and lost herself again. Clarke had a strange way of grounding her. She closed her eyes again and shook of any thoughts that she had about Clarke. She couldn't be hung up on her while they were doing the ceremony. It had to seamless. It had to go as planned and nothing could stop it.

"You're worried about Bell," Clarke finally stated as she watched Octavia.

"I have reason to be."

"I doubt that he'll do anything tonight," Clarke said.

"But, you still think that he might do something," Octavia countered.

"It's Bell. There's no telling sometimes. He does things as he believes that he should. It doesn't always run with what should be done. He did side with Pike. Hell, he almost killed Indra. The fact that he is still walking around with her means that he must have something going for him, right?"

Octavia let out a small chuckle. It was true. Indra hadn't just killed him on sight, so maybe her former mentor saw something in him like she'd seen something in Octavia. She made a mental note to talk to Indra about him after everything.

"So, tell me about this ceremony a little more."

"I've already told you everything, Clarke. Gaia will call me forward. Then, she'll call you and Madi. We'll recite some words. Gaia will cut my palm and then yours. We'll join bloody hands and recite words together. Then, you'll be bonded with _Wonkru. _The same will follow with Madi."

"It can't be that simple," Clarke countered.

"It honestly is. The only difference is that I will name you my _Sekkon _and raise you as the _Wanheda._ I will make you my equal and I will be releasing Indra into your care, as your general. She will receive a new pauldron bearing our colors mixed."

"Mixed?"

"As you know, my colors are red. Yours are still blue. I thought of giving her green for her being part of _Trikru, _but I am not sure that anyone would understand. She will bear purple. I'll give the green to Madi when she's older. And, possibly give Miller one, too."

"He deserves it."

"He does, but I don't know that he would take one," Octavia told her.

"Can't you just command him?"

"I could, but I don't want to do that. I want it to be his choice. He already wears one as the head of my guard."

"It is a black one for the guards of the Ark."

"It was his fathers," Octavia replied.

"Ah," Clarke said as she looked over at the man before her.

He wasn't the boy that dropped with them. He'd grown into a fierce warrior. He loved just as fiercely if his PDA with Jackson was any indicator. It was a strange coupling at first for Clarke, but then she understood it. Jackson tempered him and kept him more level headed. He wasn't quick to anger, but he was quick to defend those he cared for and it was obvious that Octavia was one of those people.

"Add to it. Promote him. It would mean more," Clarke suggested.

"And, what color would you have me use?"

"Black, keep it simple and short. Just enough to make it seen and make the people understand, but not too much to impede him while he is on duty. I am sure that can arrange that quick enough."

"I can."

"Delphina!"

"_Sha, ai Osleya," _the guard stated.

"Find some black cloth, two hands wide and four to six hands long. Hurry. Oh, and some studding as well."

"_Sha, Blodreina," _Delphina replied and she ran off into the bunker.

"See," Clarke added.

"Don't start."

"What?" Clarke asked. "You need to calm down. The people will see me bow to you. They will realize that I know that you are the best thing for us to get back to Eden. We'll get there. I know we will, but we still have to wait for Echo to pave our way."

"And, if she doesn't?"

"We'll wait. Eventually, we'll march. I know that, but I want to wait as long as we can."

"Why?"

"Winter is coming soon," Clarke told her.

"You think they aren't ready?"

"I know they aren't. No one is. That is why I am glad that you are keeping the bunker running. We won't freeze if we have the stores from there. Plus, we won't go hungry. I know that there won't be enough food ready in Eden. I wasn't exactly planning to feed hundreds, you know. I only stored enough for Madi and myself to get through the winter."

"And, you're just telling me this now?"

"Look, we have time if we plan together. We would have to start hunting and fishing, drying the meats and eating mostly fruit and vegetables for now. It would be doable, but like I said. I don't know what effects all of us being in the Valley would do to the wildlife. We need the farm, Octavia. We need every bit of growable land. We need to not eat so much meat. At least the Grounders are used to that now because of living in the bunker. We have to continue you that if we are going to make it through this winter. Honestly, I didn't know what, who and how many I was going to be dealing with."

"But?"

"I do have some back up stores. They will last. As long as Diyoza and her men don't find them. Madi said that they hadn't left the village area, which is good," Clarke answered.

"Why?"

"I have stores all over the valley, hidden in caves. We'll have to break up, but it is doable. We'll be able to most settle there. Some will have to stay here."

"I think that Monty and Harper will stay," Octavia added.

"And, others?"

"Will stay if I order it," Octavia stated with a finality.

"Then, let's get through tonight and we'll deal with the rest in the morning, yeah?" Clarke asked her as she reached down and took Octavia's hand in her own. She gave it a big squeeze and Octavia turned to look at it. She felt strange, but she liked it. She wasn't sure if Clarke knew what she was doing, but she was willing to let her touch her. She was one of the few that got that privilege and she hoped that Clarke knew it.

Gaia slowly walked up to them. She appeared to be assessing how they were dressed. She dropped her hood as she approached and Clarke recognized it, not only a salute, but a signal of good will and not being a threat. Octavia turned and faced her _Flaimkepa_ and priestess.

"You're not dressed," Gaia stated.

"I figured that I had time."

"Not, you, _Osleya, ba Wanheda,"_ Gaia said as she nodded to Clarke.

"And how would you have me dress, _Flaimkepa? _I have nothing but what I am wearing," Clarke replied. "Unless there is something I don't know about."

"There isn't," Octavia responded as she looked to Gaia for clarification. "At least not from me. Is there something for _Wanheda? _And, who from?"

"There is and the people, _Osleya. _They wish to honor her for surviving and coming back to lead them into Eden. I gave it to Miller earlier. It is in your rooms, _Osleya. _There is also something for Madi," Gaia told them and bowed her head low in respect.

"Then we will go change," Octavia stated.

"I will send word to Miller when it is time, then," Gaia said, bowed a little deeper and then walked away.

"Shall we?" Octavia asked as she swept her hand back up to her office.

Clarke led the way. She could tell that the blonde was curious, to say the least. She followed because she was as well, but she also needed to get her armor and cloak. She loathed the thought of putting on the red war paint and make up, but she was the _Blodreina. _She wondered what Clarke would do. Would she use the same kohl makeup that she'd had as _Wanheda _before with Lexa or would she take on a different mark.

She followed Clarke into the bedroom. She found a rare, royal blue dress laid out on the bed. Next to it was an emerald green and blue pants set. It was smaller and obviously for Madi. There was a tub of kohl and some make up set out as well.

"Whoa, what's all this?" Madi asked as she walked into the bedroom, looking for Clarke.

"It seems that the people want to honor your _nomon._"

"New clothes?" Madi questioned.

"Yeah, Madi, new clothes, ceremonial clothes for the _Wanheda _and her _yongon."_

Madi walked over to the bed and picked up the blue shirt. It was the same color as Clarke's dress. She shrugged and tore off her shirt, keeping her back to them both. Slipping the shirt over her head, she pulled her braids out and let them fall the to her right side. She picked up the pants and turned the around a few times. She could see the work and time that went into them. And, they were colored, something that even she noticed most of the Grounders in the bunker didn't have. They mostly wore black or dark browns. The same as she and Clarke, but she wondered if it was out of necessity or lack of skill.

"These are amazing," Madi replied as she started to put them on.

"I have something for you, too, Madi. But, I'll give it to you out there. You'll need a belt, so find one in the closet. Any one you like," Octavia told her as she moved over to the closet and opened the doors.

She stood back and let Madi look at her belts. After she'd selected one, she turned into the closet. She took off the long sleeve shirt that she'd been wearing and grabbed a black tank. She pulled it over her head quickly, making sure to cover the scars and tattoos that she bore. It obviously wasn't fast enough because she heard Clarke's quick intake of breath and knew that she saw the symbols on her back, one for each clan descended her spine. She knew what it reminded her of and she knew why. She grabbed her cloak, with its double pauldrons and set them on her shoulders. Her red cloak flowed from them and fell to the ground. She grabbed a studded belt and turned back around.

When she neared the bed, she realized that Clarke had used that time to don the dress. It made her eyes pop. Whoever picked the color knew exactly what they were doing and her thoughts moved back to Gaia. She knew that the priestess was using this as way to help cement them both as the "Starborne" and "Earthborne."

"_Skaifayagoufa..." _Octavia breathed out.

Madi looked from Clarke to Octavia and back again. Her brow crinkled in question at the word. Clarke could tell that she'd heard it before but she couldn't place it. Clarke reached forward and Madi took her hand.

"Do you want face paint?" Clarke asked her.

"Are you?"

"I am, because I am _Wanheda. _You don't have to, but if you would like to honor your clan, we can do something. It's up to you," Clarke told her.

"Are you?" Madi turned and asked Octavia.

"When I fight, I use kohl and darken my eyes like _Trikru. _But, as _Blodreina, _I use red around my eyes because I am the 'Red Queen.' If you wish to honor the people that came before you in your clan, Madi, you may. I have never restricted the use of paint in the bunker. It is in short supply so most don't use it. But, whatever you chose, remember that it is your choice," Octavia explained as she picked up some red paint and began to smear it around her eyes.

Clarke had moved to a mirror and was painting around her eyes as _Wanheda. _The angles were still there beneath her eyes, drawing everyone in. The kohl swept back to temples, like most _Trikru _war painted masks. The difference in it now was that she dipped four fingers in the kohl, from both hands. Her index finger laid at her temple and her pinkie just at the base of the angle beneath her eyes. She drew her hands down, creating tears streaks similar to those of Lexa, but she carried four on each side.

"Who do you mourn, Clarke?" Octavia asked.

"My father, Wells, Finn, Anya, Charlotte, those of the 100 we've lost, those lost in _Praimfaya, _and of course, Lexa," Clarke answered.

Octavia just nodded. She honestly had nothing to say. She'd once copied Lincoln's war paint. Who was she to deny Clarke this?

"Clarke...will you?" Madi asked as she handed her the blue and green paint.

"What do you want?" Clarke inquired.

"Something to honor _Louwada Klironkru," _Madi stated.

Clarke nodded as she took the colors. She dipped her finger into the blue paint and made three curved arrows up the left side of Madi's face. She waited for them to dry. When they were, she used the green to make a small circle that each arrow ran through. It was the symbol of _Louwada Klironkru. _She turned Madi to mirror and she gasped when she saw it. Her right cheek was bare. Looking down, she saw the kohl. She dipped her fingers into it and ran tears down her right cheek.

"Who do you mourn, Madi?"

"My people," Madi said quietly.

There was a knock. It was time. Octavia turned to the both.

"Just remember to repeat after me, loudly," Octavia told them. "Someone will come for you when it is time. They will lead you into the pit. Do not fear the people. Do not fear me. Do not fear the knife. Tonight, we become one people. Tonight, you join _Wonkru."_

Octavia made her way down the ramps to the pits. She saw the people watching and staring as she went. They were all leaning against the rails and the fencing that was left. She knew that they were all curious. She was dressed up and she'd called for them all to be there. She knew that they were wondering where they going or what was going on. Octavia didn't call for all bunker meetings often. She usually just called for a council meeting and had them pass whatever needed to be passed down. Tonight was different. She could see that they could tell.

Gaia was already in the center of the pit waiting for her. She was dressed as the _Flamkepa, _and she kept her hood up. It was merely ceremonial, but it showed her power and rank among the people. The fact that Octavia had ordered her to drop the hood showed them more. Her shoulder was on full display. The tattoo showed the history of clans from the bunker and _Liam kom Trikru _to where the conclaves started for the _hedas. _It wasn't meant to be a slight to Octavia. It was merely part of her and it was something that she used to help teach the children as _seda._

_"Osleya," _Gaia called to her.

"_Seda, why have we been called here?" _

_"Ai Osleya, Ai Blodreina, there are those who have come to us who wish to join Wonkru."_

_"Are they here?" _Octavia asked.

"_Sha, Osleya," _Gaia told her and then called out. "_Bring for the applicants!"_

Octavia stepped up next to Gaia. They both looked up to her office, her throne room in the bunker, and watched as both Madi and Clarke came out. They were surrounded by a contingent of guards. Madi was first as they walked down to join Gaia and Octavia in the pits. Octavia kept her eyes on Clarke. She couldn't help but think that she was beautiful, like a queen meeting her mate for a bonding ceremony. She had to keep the smile from creeping across her face as they neared.

The people parted as they walked through. The murmurs could be heard, but no one said anything outright. When they made their way to the pit, the front guards broke away and allowed them to enter the pit and walk over to where Gaia and Octavia were. The guards stood in the doorways, protecting not only Octavia but the ceremony as well.

"_Osleya, the applicants," _Gaia told her as she reached out for their hands.

Clarke offered her right hand and Madi her left. She pulled them to stand directly in front of Octavia. She let go of the hands and bowed to Octavia.

"_We are here tonight to welcome these new members into our family. They have survived on the surface while we survived here. They have come to us of their own free will and unite with us. They have been in the promised lands and they will lead us back. We, Wonkru, accept your applications and your worth and welcome you to our bosom and our bounty," _Octavia told them.

Clarke took a knee. Madi followed suit. The murmurs got louder. They all knew who Clarke was. If they didn't, they knew by the face paint that she was someone of rank and importance. She bore no weapons. She was simply dressed in that dress.

Octavia looked over Clarke's kneeling form and saw Bellamy. There was a fire in his eyes, but she wasn't worried about him stopping the ceremony. She could see the guards, who weren't in their normal gear, surrounding Bellamy. He wouldn't have a chance to do anything before he was whisked away and put in a cell. She shifted her gaze down to Clarke. When her eyes met Clarke's, they both flicked their eyes to Madi.

_"Madi kom Louwada Klironkru, kom Klark Wanheda, you kneel before me today asking to join us of your own free will?"_

_"I do."_

_"Your hand?" _

Madi offered her left hand to Octavia. Reaching back to Gaia, a knife was handed to Octavia. She held the knife up, showing the crowd and then cut her left palm. She raised her palm for the all to see again, the bright red blood that flowed. She handed the knife to Gaia. Not trusting Madi to injure herself worse than necessary, Gaia took her left palm and sliced across it. Before the black blood could be seen, Octavia joined their hands.

"_Our blood is the same. Our blood is one blood. Now we bind ourselves in blood. You are Wonkru. We are Wonkru," _Octavia stated as they still held hands.

"_Ai laik Wonkru,"_ Madi replied.

The crowd cheered. She was surprised, but Octavia didn't stop it. However she knew that the next part of the ceremony would quiet them on their own.

Jackson was off to the side waiting on Octavia's word to come forward. As promised he was there waiting to bandage their hands. Octavia was about to give him the signal when Gaia stepped forward. She leaned forward and whispered something in Madi's ear. Madi nodded and then leaned away from Octavia.

"_Osleya, I present, Klark kom Skaikru, the Wanheda, the Skaiprisa, as an applicant to join Wonkru," _Gaia told her as she reached for Clarke's right hand.

Gaia wasn't giving them time to ponder anything but the ceremony at hand. Clarke offered up her right hand. Gaia handed her the knife. Just like Octavia had, Clarke cut her palm and then showed to the crowd. The murmurs got louder, but before anyone could say anything about her being a _Natblida, _Clarke silenced them all with her words.

"_Our blood is the same. Our blood is one blood. Now we bind ourselves in blood._ _I am__ Wonkru. We are Wonkru," _Clarke said as she grabbed Octavia's hand and finished the rite.

Octavia nodded at her. She knew that by Clarke taking her hand and finishing the rite on her own, she was showing her supplication to Octavia as the leader. Octavia pulled Clarke up off her knees.

_"You are Wanheda. You bow to no one," _Octavia told her as she pulled her close.

Their eyes danced and she knew that Clarke could see the fire and lust in hers, but she had to finish this. Clarke gave her most imperceptible nod. She knew her next words might be taken out of context, but she was willing to do it, anyway. She could tell that Clarke was caught up in the pageantry of it all, too.

Separating their hands, Octavia turned to Indra. The General started walking across the pit with the pauldron in her arms. She stopped just to the left of Octavia. Gaia stepped to her right. Octavia raised her hands. The people could see the black blood mixed with her red as it dripped down her left hand.

"_Kom folau, oso na gyon op. Omon gon oson. Ai laik Wanheda kom Wonkru," _Clarke started. She moved to Octavia and raised her hand, letting the black blood flow for all to see, again. She looked into Octavia's eyes as she reached out and marked her. It was a simple swipe of her finger, putting her black blood on Octavia's face. It ran from her brow ridge to just below the bridge of her nose. "_Osir laik WONKRU!" _

Octavia cocked an eyebrow. Madi stepped forward and did the same to Clarke. When Clarke nodded at Madi, Octavia realized that this must have been something that Madi and she came up with in the Valley. When Madi turned to her, Octavia raised her hand and used her red blood to mark Madi.

"_Wanheda is now Wonkru. She bows to no one. She is my equal and is still a Prisa in her own right. I say this and it is law. Klark is my Sekkon. Her word is mine. Harm her and you harm me!" _

Shouts filled the pits as the crowd roared in acceptance. There were shouts of joy and happiness. The warriors were especially happy to know that they had the "Commander of Death" on their side again.

Octavia raised her hands and the crowd quietened down. She reached to her side and took the pauldron that Indra bore. She stepped up to Clark and put the pauldron on her right shoulder. She pulled the old seat belt around and snapped it just over her left breast. She then reached up and fluffed out the same color blue cloth and let it drop behind Clarke's right shoulder.

"Indra," Octavia stated.

Her general moved closer and then stood in front of her. Clarke reached over to Gaia and took the pauldron. Indra gave them both a look. Clarke stepped up to her and raised her hand to mark her. Indra lowered her eyes in approval. Clarke marked her as well. She then took the pauldron and let the mixture of red, blue and purple fall from behind it. She secured it on Indra's left shoulder.

"Indra, _just as you are Oktevia's gonaheda (general), so are you mine!" _

_"Sha, Wanheda!" _Indra called out, with the barest hint of a smile.

"Madi _is my prisa and my goufa. Indra is my gonaheda. And, Oktevia is my Osleya and Blodreina. We are Wonkru!" _Clarke yelled.

Octavia would have thought that she had called "blood must have blood" by the way the cheers echoed in the pits. The people were sated for the moment. They had their leaders, their warriors and especially the "Commander of Death." The only people she was worried about now were Bellamy and Kara Cooper.

"Are there others that wish to join us tonight?!"

Harper moved from where she was standing and came forward. She knelt before Octavia and Clarke. As soon as she hit her knees, Monty broke through the crowd and joined her. Clarke just smiled down at her friends as she pulled them both up and reached for their left hands. After they were cut, they joined hands with Octavia. After they backed up, Madi stepped forward and marked them. When they all realized that Bellamy wasn't going to join them, Octavia nodded over to Jackson who came forward and bandaged them all.

"_Omon gon oson!" _Gaia called as she closed the ceremony.

The crowd called back to her. The words echoed off the concrete. Octavia smiled as she took in her people. They were happy again. They believed in Clarke and now, Clarke was officially aligned with her. She looked across them all and her eyes met Bell's.

"Let it go for now, O. He's worried about Echo. He'll see reason when she's back."

"Then, she'd better hurry for all of our sake," Octavia stated.

Clarke just reached over and took her left hand in her right. Octavia looked down at their hands and then at Clarke. Clarke was however looking at Madi. Her daughter had a huge grin on her face. They were together. They were all back together again. They would fight. They would survive and they would do it together.


	38. Chapter 38

**Chapter 38**

**One thousand nine hundred thirteen days since _Praimfaya_**

"We owe it to ourselves to be better this time, Bell. We can't continue to fight. We'll just kill each other. It is always a fight. Even in space we were fighting," Clarke stated. "It might not have seemed like it, but we were. Each station was fighting to be relevant, for supplies, for people, for position. It is the same here. I know that it sounds hypocritical of me, but I don't want to kill anyone else. I don't want to die either.

"This land is beautiful. The Earth is healing, slowly and without man. Maybe, we are the virus that needs to be eradicated. I don't know. I just wish you could all see the peace and stillness that is here. It is so calming.

"I wish that...we could all just live here and just be. I know that it is impossible, but I am hoping that Octavia has gotten the bunker to band together. We are going to have to work together as a village for a common goal. With Madi and I, we both know how to do everything here to survive. A lot of it was trial and error but we figured it out.

"But, it doesn't matter. I've been marking out farm land and getting it ready to plant crops. We've found a cache of seeds in Becca's bunker.

"Don't lecture me on going back there. That is the place of my rebirth, Bell. That bunker and Becca's lab helped me rewrite my path on this planet and I am thankful for it. It made me a _natblida. _And, from what Madi's learned, she wanted to see it. With the Rover, it takes a couple of hours to get there, but it was a pleasant enough drive. Madi was surprised at all the _tek, _but she helped me dig out some supplies, first aid gear and other stuff that was buried there. It wasn't a whole lot, but it was enough to help me start to manufacture more.

"I've started gearing up a hospital of sorts. I figured since we wouldn't be fighting that I could use my mystique as the 'Commander of Death' to heal people. I was supposed to be a doctor. Maybe, I can wash some of the blood away by doing this. I wish Mom were here. She'd tell me what else I needed to bring from the lab to help her set up things.

"I've gotten better at stitching," Clarke paused for a moment, laughed slightly and then continued. "Both in flesh and fabric. Leather is a bitch though. Madi has no issues working with anything. She's a natural survivor. She's quick with a knife and sharp with her mind. She's always three steps ahead of our prey when we hunt. But, she's horrible at healing. She'd have lost a finger a while ago if I hadn't seen the horrible patch job she tried. She honestly hadn't been trying to hide from me. She sewed herself up and continued with her work. It was such a 'Grounder' thing to do that I couldn't even be mad at her.

"She finally let me clean it and re-suture it, but she about fell out when I told her that she couldn't use her hand for two weeks. You would have thought I toook her fishing spear from her and told her that she had to sit on her butt the entire time. I found chores that she could do one handed or things that she could do that wouldn't cause more damage to her hand. She finally relented and followed orders. It was mostly because I told her that we would go back to Becca's bunker and I would teach her to drive the Rover.

"She's finally tall enough to reach the pedals. She's been itching to drive it for weeks, but I've been hesitant because it is the only vehicle we have. Thank the gods that it runs on solar power or it would just be another thing that was useless after _Praimfaya. _It was an interesting trip back, but I took the time to actually look at the land.

"Sand still covers everything. It's hot outside the Valley. And, very dry. The oceans seem to be gone, but I know that they can't be completely because there is still enough water in the atmosphere for rain. Not to say that it rains often, but it is enough to saturate the ground. Eden must be on some sort of aquifer for the springs and rivers to still flow constantly.

"I finally traced the river to a mountain. It is rocky and covered in trees on the Valley side and sand on the other. The water comes from somewhere inside the mountain and it is clear and crisp and completely unsoiled. I've deverted a little creek to the farm lands to help water. It took a few months and trial and error, but I've got a dam and flood system that works.

"I can't wait for you to see it all. We can do better here. We can live and be prosperous. We can have peace. We just have to want it.

"I'm just waiting on you, now. I know that it has only been a few months, but it's livable. You still aren't here. I am going to assume that you are working on something and Raven is chomping at the bit to get back down here and show me all the cool things that she's come up with. Just remember that we need you, too, Bell. May we meet again," Clarke finished her broad cast.

Octavia looked to the ceiling of her office. Her mind was all over the place. Her hope was fading with each day that they stayed below the surface. Clarke was right. It had been five years, so where was Bellamy? Each day she worried more and more about her brother. She had to believe that he survived and that he was coming back. She had nothing else to hope for being underground. She sighed as she thought about the fate of her brother.

She loved him. She missed him. She knew that he might not agree with everything that she'd done, but they were surviving. She needed to know that he was okay. She needed him to have made it to the Go-Sci Ring. She needed him to come back. She needed to let him know that she loved him, but she was grown now. She didn't need him as much. She had come to rely on herself, for honestly she had no one else to help her besides Indra. She shook off the thoughts. Bellamy was alive. She had to believe that. She dreamt of seeing him again. He was her only family and they were special. She just wanted a hug. Bellamy always gave her the best hugs. She missed him most of all, now. She shook her head. Missing him wouldn't help her now. She had to think about the bunker.

She quickly rose and went back into the bedroom. She dropped her cloak and her pauldrons. Today they were just weighing her down. She decided that she wanted to take a tour of the bunker and check on the status of everyone. It was something that she found herself doing more often since their time had passed the five year mark. She didn't know if she did it because she was worried about them since they had no word or when and who was coming to help them. She knew it was weighing on everyone, but she couldn't let it show on her part. She had to remain optimistic, and it was almost paralyzing some days.

She grabbed a belt and put it on. She had her hidden knife at her back, but she knew that Miller and Indra, among others, would fuss if she wasn't armed. Indra made mention of Lexa never having less than four knives on her person. Octavia carried two, or had two with in reach at all times. They were in close quarters, so knives were the best. She didn't feel like carrying her sword during these walks. It was big and cumbersome, but on official visits, she did. She hoped that these visits made her seem more approachable and more a compassionate leader than a tyrant. But, that didn't mean that she was foolish. She grabbed a long knife and Lexa's knife, a gift from Indra, placing them on her belt. She felt like she was adequately outfitted. Grabbing a thin over shirt, she pulled it on and head for the door.

She opened it and Timo and Miller fell to her side. She gave them a smile. They realized that this was going to be a leisurely stroll and dropped some their gear, leaving it with the other guards. Wayne took it all and stored it for them. Miller refused to drop his armor or his gun. Timo carried his sword and a multitude of knives. She could only smile at them. They would never fully let their guard down around her and she appreciated it.

She worked her way down to the school first. Standing just in the doorway, she saw that they were being led today by London as she drilled them in various strikes and blocks. She surveyed the children as they practiced for war. After Clarke's words, it was hard for her see, but she knew that it was still needed. Even if they didn't have to fight against each other, they would have to fight to survive and some of the skills that these children were learning would help them in hunting and defending the village against the new wildlife that they would encounter.

Kane stepped from the side where he was watching to Octavia's side. He noticed that she was dressed down. He leaned against the wall and turned his attention to them.

"Did you need Ethan?"

"No, Kane. He will remain in school until his _sedas_ tell me he is ready for a position."

"I fear the only position he believes he is destined for is a warrior in your army," Kane told her.

"That maybe true, Kane, but I hope that he doesn't have to fight."

"Really?" Kane asked as he pushed himself off the wall and turned to face her.

"As much as I've fought, Kane, war isn't the answer. We both know that. You changed when you hit the ground. Clarke showed us both a different way. War is something I'm good at, but as a soldier, not as a general. I know that. If there is a war, I will _Wonkru, _but for all our sakes, I hope that I don't have to. There is however no shame in being prepared, right?"

He nodded. London finally saw her, but she waved her on with the class. She was just observing today. Of course, she was watching Ethan more than the rest of the children as he was her charge. She gave London a nod and ducked out of the class.

She was glad that London was the one working with the children. She had the patience that most _gona _didn't. And, most of the children hadn't been selected as _sekkons_ yet. They were all trying to just learn. Octavia would allow them to pick their own destiny. They didn't all have to be warriors, but they needed to know how to defend themselves.

She moved to the barracks, for lack of a better word. Maybe, she should think of them like dorms, but she didn't. The whole bunker was basically like an underground fort for her army. She included everyone in that combination. _Wonkru _was an army, her army.

She stopped in each grouping and visited with those that weren't working at that time. She listened to them, really listened to them. She knew that they thought it was odd, but she wanted to be better than the leaders on the Ark were. Listening to them gave her better insight into what the bunker was thinking. Niylah gave her a lot, but she had suddenly become more invested in the tales of the "Starborne" and the "Earthborne," than she had with the Octavia or the bunker. Octavia just let it go as she worked her way back up the bunker.

Her next stop was the water treatment plant. She was glad that they were well below capacity and the Grounders that were assigned were able to run it without too much interference or guidance now from anyone from _Skaikru. _They had fully understood the need to learn how to work it and made a point to learn it. She knew that they would be important when they got back to the surface. The first thing that she hoped that they would establish after they got a water cleaning and treatment facility up and running in Eden that would accommodate their numbers would be a shower. It was a luxury, but she still wanted one. Hell, she'd be happy to find a hot springs that she could just sink in, but Clarke hadn't mentioned one in any of her broadcasts. She gave them good praise and began her way up further.

When she made it into the Med Bay, she wasn't that surprised to see Abby was there. She was surprised to see that Niylah and Jackson were there. When she looked around further, she saw one of Niko's sons, the only one to survive both Finn and _Praimfaya. _She was glad to see that Abby had personally taken him under her wing and was training him.

"Octavia," Abby greeted them as soon as she saw her.

"Abby, how are you?"

Abby could tell that it was a loaded question, but she still appreciated the fact that Octavia helped her. She gave Octavia a rare smile and nodded, as she invited her over to a table where she was working. Octavia was glad that she didn't mind the blood and guts.

"How is Tenne doing with his training?" Octavia questioned.

"He is doing well. Niko taught him a lot about the native plants of _Trikru. _He has been very helpful in adding to our files and knowledge. He still seems small to me for his age, but he moves quickly and with purpose. He is strong, both in mind and muscle. He out lifts Jackson most days. He reminds me of Clarke at this age. He will do well when we get out," Abby replied.

"That is good. I am glad that he has you to teach him. Niko would be proud of both of you," Octavia told her.

"He had a good foundation."

"I am glad that he has someone like you to help him on his way, Abby. I think that he has helped you as well. But, tell me more as he reminds you of Clarke," Octavia begged of her.

"Besides his eyes," Abby stated as they both watched the boy as he worked.

"Yes," Octavia said with a slight laugh.

Abby gave her another smile, before she started to answer. "He is wise for his age. He is compassionate and he cares for all his patients equally, regardless of age, wound or background. He has quick hands and is always at my side looking on to learn more."

"Does he work long hours?"

"Yes, without question or complaint. He is quiet and content. He is a good student."

"He has a good teacher," Octavia told as she reached over and laid her hand on Abby's shoulder. "Good. I am glad that we've gotten through the darkest part of our time here, together, Abby. I am glad to see that you've gotten better."

"As am I," Abby replied.

"If you need anything, let me know," Octavia told her. "I appreciate what you do for us and I appreciate you, Abby. Keep up the good work."

She didn't wait for Abby to answer her. She saw what she needed to see. Abby was still getting better, but she was doing it one day at time. Her faith in the fact that they would get out, doubled with Clarke's that Bellamy would be back, kept Octavia fueled. She realized that Abby needed her to stay positive. They were using each other. It was a symbiotic relationship at this point, but it was one of the few ways that Octavia knew that Abby would survive.

She left Abby and worked her way from the Med Bay to the Hydrofarm. It was what she was the most worried about. If the farm failed again, Octavia wasn't sure that they would survive it. She had faith in most of her people, but she was still wary of Kara Cooper and her influence. Cooper hadn't done anything outright to cause a lot of suspicion but there was always something niggling at the back of her head when it came to her. It was probably the coup, or was the way that Cooper managed to always stay close to her, keeping herself in power, that rubbed Octavia wrong.

She made her way through the farm and to the main offices and lab. She saw Kara in them working, on what she didn't know what. It wasn't that surprising, but she could tell that Cooper was heavily invested in whatever was. She knocked on the door and saw Cooper look up at her. Cooper closed out whatever she was doing on the computers and walked out to meet Octavia more formally. She saluted as soon as she was out of the office.

"_Ai Blodreina, I didn't know you were coming today,_" Cooper started.

"No worries, Cooper. I am just out walking. Is everything okay with the farm?"

"We are running at a consistent rate," Cooper told her.

"But?"

"I don't know much longer we will be able to keep up at this rate. The crops aren't failing now, but we seem to run in cycles. I don't know how much longer we can still grow what we are growing," Cooper replied.

"Aren't you still working with Abby on the seeds?"

"I am, but what we've been working on is already planted. The problem isn't just the seeds, _Blodreina._ It's time. We've been here over five years and we still don't know when we are getting out. We don't have a good a plan in place. The farm was only supposed to last for five years, but we've made it last longer. I'm doing the best I can with what I have, but it will eventually fail and we will all die," Cooper stated.

"We'll be out of here soon, Cooper. Just keep it running. That is your only task, Cooper. Keep this farm running," Octavia commanded.

"As you command, _Blodreina," _Cooper replied.


	39. Chapter 39

**Chapter 39**

Monty had been waiting for them at breakfast. Octavia cocked her eyebrow at him as he waved them over. He was alone. Octavia, Clarke and Madi looked at him. They started for him just as Gaia caught up to them.

"_Osleya, Wanheda, Madi kom Wonkru,_" Gaia greeted them.

"_Seda en Flamkepa,_" Octavia replied.

"Madi should start training with the others."

"Gaia..." Octavia warned.

"I'm not going to pit her against any of them, but if she is to blend with us all, she cannot be treated any differently," Gaia stated.

"She's right, Octavia. Let her go to school. Let her learn from your _sedas_. She's only had me for the last six years."

"Can you even use a sword?" Octavia questioned, remember that in their sparring match Clarke was quick, but they'd been unarmed.

"With lethal precision," Clarke said.

Octavia, Madi and Gaia looked at her surprised. For Madi, it was the tone in her voice. Octavia knew that Clarke could handle herself from their earlier sparring match, but Gaia cocked her eyebrow at the surprise confession. She wondered just how good the _Wanheda_ was without a gun.

"What? We had a lot of down time some days. I taught her what I could, but she taught me more," Clarke told them.

"When did you learn to fight with a sword?" Octavia asked.

"Lexa didn't just teach me _Trigedaslenge, _Octavia. She wanted me to know how to defend myself. She taught me some basics. I honed them a little against trees. I am not the greatest, but Madi is way better than I am. Trust me on that," Clarke explained.

"You worked with Madi on sword play?"

"Like I said, Octavia, we had a lot of down time. And, while I don't condone war and fighting, I wanted her to be able to defend herself, be it again man or beast. The bears are particularly ruthless when they want to be and bullets aren't the only thing that is needed to take them down."

"At least you don't fight like Azgeda," Octavia stated as she looked over at the SpaceKru friends.

Clarke wanted to laugh, but she knew the truth of Octavia's words. She wanted to see how they trained. She'd been afraid before, but with Octavia and Gaia both knowing the truth and willing to protect Madi with their lives, she was willing to allow it. She looked over at the hopeful Madi.

"Madi, do you want to train with the other _goufa?"_ Clarke asked her.

"I can?"

"If you want, yes, but only with Gaia or Octavia's guidance."

"If I can, I would like to, yes," Madi told her.

"Just remember that you are special, but you can't stand out. They all know that you are _Wanheda's _daughter and have _natjus_. But, not everyone will like that, Madi. They might try to use against me. Gaia and I will protect you from those that might want to hurt you or use you for their own gain," Octavia explained. "Go get with Miller and get your things."

Miller nodded just off to the side. He smiled at her and they went back to get Madi's things to head to school Gaia turned to go and then turned back to Clarke. She had questions but she wasn't sure that this was the best place to ask them.

"Yes, Gaia?" Clarke questioned beating her to the punch.

"You say that she is better than you," Gaia started.

"Well, yeah, she is. She is a true night blood and she is a grounder. She taught me a lot about farming and hunting, things that I didn't know and honestly, I am grateful for her teaching me. If not, I would have been sick a lot from eating the wrong berries," Clarke answered.

"And teaching her the sword?"

"Was no different than her teaching me how to spear fish. It became a necessary skill, only I used it as a chore rather than offensive. Hacking up limbs for the fire. Killing the mutant bears that liked to attack in the spring at the watering hole. Using some sort of blade was needed. We only had so many bullets and guns. We used traps and fished a lot. I kept the guns as a last resort kinda thing. Well, until we raided a bunker or two that we could get into and found more guns and bullets. Once they were dried out and cleaned up, they worked fine. I taught her how to use the guns, but again, fighting was always a last resort. I wanted her to talk her way out of it, if she could. Or, run away."

"But, you said she was better than you," Gaia stated.

"Listen, I don't pretend to understand the Flame and all that shit, Gaia, but Madi knows things that she shouldn't. She'd never been to Polis, but she walked through it before we got you out of the bunker. She knew exactly where to go and what shops to raid. The ruble didn't even matter. She just knew. She's stronger than she looks. She's wrestled animals three times her size and won. She knew where to hit them. She knew the best way to kill them. I didn't ask. I didn't question it. I didn't want to think about it and honestly, I still don't," Clarke replied.

"If she can access them without it..."

"I won't give it to her, Gaia. That fucking chip is a death sentence. I don't care if she knows things that she shouldn't because of her blood. She isn't taking the fucking chip as long as I'm breathing. Got it?" Clarke inquired, bowing up and presenting as _Wanheda _in the moment.

Octavia had to keep herself from smiling. She thought that Clarke was hot when she went all "Mama Bear" and _Wanheda _on anyone that wasn't here. She shook her head. She knew that she couldn't think of things like that. She needed to focus on the mission, which was getting everyone to Shallow Valley, to Eden and not getting in Clarke's pants. She could wait for that. After all, she'd been waiting for six years. What was another...fuck...she still wasn't sure what Clarke wanted with her. She needed something else to think about and quickly.

"We need to go see Monty," Clarke stated.

"Take care of her _Flamkepa."_

_"Sha, Osleya, Wanheda," _Gaia replied.

They nodded and simply said "_Seda," _as she left. Monty was in the corner of the mess hall, now with Harper. They looked worried and happy at the same time. It was a look that they all knew too well. It was a look that the 100 had all perfected while on Earth. Quickly they crossed the room and joined Monty and Harper.

"Monty," Clarke greeted as they neared them. "What is so important that it couldn't wait? Has something happened?"

"I am not sure if Raven did it or not. I can still hear them on the radio, but we do now have control of the camera. I've already set it to record movements this morning and will do another one tonight. I'll seam them together so we can loop them, that way it will look as if nothing's changed and she won't know that she doesn't have control of the camera."

"You're worried about something, though," Octavia said as she studied them both.

"It has more to do with Cooper and Bell than anything else. Don't get me wrong, I am afraid for Raven and Echo. I know that Echo will take care of her though. I have faith in her," Monty stated.

Octavia cocked an eyebrow. She knew that it wasn't something that Monty said lightly, so she wondered what Echo had done for them while they were on the Ring that made them all support her. It made Octavia ponder it. And, the look that Clarke was giving her said even more. Octavia nodded, but Clarke picked up on the silent agreement that she would talk with all about Echo and what happened on the Ring. It wasn't like she could forbid her from rejoining them anyway because of Clarke's actions, but maybe, just maybe, Octavia could be a little more civil to her.

"Let's go back to you quarters. We can talk there without too many ears listening. But, it needs to be quick. I have a class that I need to go watch later and I want to make sure that I get to it quickly," Octavia replied.

Clarke reached out and put her hand on Octavia's arm. All of them looked at it, but no one commented until Clarke did. It was obvious that Clarke and Octavia were close, but the touch was more than platonic. Harper just gave Clarke a knowing smile.

"_Be calm. She'll be fine. She won't show them what she can do. She knows to keep a low enough profile," _Clarke told her.

"_It isn't her that I'm worried about."_

_"Then who?"_

_"My own goufa," _Octavia replied.

"Ethan?"

"He wants to please me and he wants to be the strongest. I am afraid of what he might do. He tends to push too hard to prove that he is the strongest. Gaia tries with him, but I'm afraid that I left him unattended a little too long in here. I let my pride override my sense and I pushed for a stronger and harder soldiers than I did other jobs."

"I can tell," Clarke said. "But, it is a good thing. Everyone trained to fight. It is the Grounder way. That training will be needed for us to get back to Eden, but so will all that they've learned in here. We are a village and everyone must have their role."

Octavia shook her head. That was her mentality too. She just wished that Clarke had been there with her. Things might have been easier. She wouldn't let things get so out of hand in the beginning. But, looking back on it, she knew that she had to make a strong enough presence to get the eleven Grounder tribes to side with her. They liked strength. _Skaikru _had looked at her like she was a tyrant. And, she was, but it was because it was needed. As everyone fell into line, things changed. It was slow, but even those in _Skaikru _had to admit that she had done good to keep them all alive.

They followed Monty down through the bunker, down into the depths, to the quarters that he had been assigned since they come to stay with _Wonkru. _As they went down, Octavia realized that Cooper had assigned them to the deepest level and the farthest from her. She wasn't sure if it was on purpose or if it was truly the only rooms that hadn't been inhibited while they were in the bunker. She looked around. These rooms were smaller and weren't like the work rooms that she'd given Monty to use.

"What is it?" Octavia asked as they all got situated in the room.

"What are you planning?" Monty questioned.

"We are going to Eden and we are going to take it back."

"You aren't going to abandon the bunker?"

"No, I've thought about it. We can't. I don't know how quickly we'll be able to set up in Eden," Octavia told him. "I've been talking with Clarke. While Eden is a beautiful and there is an old town that Clarke and Madi have been living in, it doesn't mean that it will support all of us. We can't overwhelm the valley except to conquer it. We will need to build and we will need you to help get the Valley to expand. I know that you want to try something here and Monty, I'm all for that, but we both know that we won't be able to survive here without help. We need the Valley."

"We do," Monty told her. "But, that isn't what is bothering me now."

"What is it?" Clarke asked.

"Cooper. She can't be trusted. She's creating the worms in the lab. We already know that, but what does she plan on doing with them? Surely, she isn't planning on using it on the Valley," Monty said.

"I'm not sure, but whatever it is, it can't be good."

"We need to destroy it," Octavia stated.

"But, we can't make it look like you ordered it," Clarke said.

"Why not?"

"Cooper still thinks that she has your favor and that she can do no wrong. She believes that what she is doing is by your orders. She may have misunderstood something that you said to her and she's run with it. If I do it, she'll try to hurt me. If you do it, she'll turn on you. She's a zealot now, Octavia. You have to be careful with her," Clarke explained. "If you aren't, she'll turn on you and who knows what she'll do."

"We need to make be someone close enough to you that she wouldn't be able to do anything to them without incurring your wrath," Monty stated.

"It can't be us or Clarke. She'd just kill us and make it look like an accident. She doesn't understand why we've automatically become part of your counsel. She sees us as the enemy. Clarke more than us, but now that she's joined _Wonkru," _Harper explained.

"So, did both of you," Clarke countered.

"But, you are still _Wanheda. _The people know it and they fear and revere you. Us, they don't care about. We pose no threat to anyone honestly. But, Cooper will see anything that we do as an attack on Octavia and she'll attack before asking for permission. If you do anything, she'll take it personally and she'll start to sabotage the bunker and the attack. She's a time bomb and she needs to be sequesterd for our own good," Monty added.

"I agree," Octavia stated. "I'll have her removed and placed somewhere until the attacks are over. Until then, stay clear of her, all of you. I'll have protection for you, but Cooper is a wily one. She's afraid and she honestly has nothing to live for but duty. She has become fully invested in _Wonkru_ and the bunker. She doesn't understand the truth anymore. She believes that the way of life, as harsh as it was, that we had in the bunker is the same thing that we have to have still. I've tried to talking to her, but like Clarke has said, 'She's drunk the Kool Aid.' We have to tread carefully."

"What about Indra?" Clarke suggested.

"Indra would be a good choice," Octavia replied. "She's my general and Cooper wouldn't expect it. From you guys, yeah, she would, but Indra would be able to get in and do it without any questions. Y'all show up and she'll lock it down with you in it. We can't have that."

"No, we can't," Harper stated.

"So, we need to talk to Indra," Clarke replied.

"And, Miller. I want to make sure that Indra had guards on her after this. We can't take anything for granted, and to be honest, I'm not sure that Cooper isn't already planning another coup. I need Miller and Indra with me, Clarke."

"I understand that. We'll make sure that they are both safe and both have protection. Besides, we both know that Cooper isn't dumb enough to challenge me, especially after last night," Clarke told her and took her hand. "We'll talk to Indra. It needs to be done when we know that Cooper and her people aren't in the lab. First, we talk to Indra and then we deal with Cooper. She still doesn't know that we are on to her. We'll keep it that way until we are ready to strike. Let her keep thinking that we don't know about it. She'll be too worried about getting it ready that we won't have to worry about coming for us."

"She's right, but that isn't everything," Monty told them.

"You have more news."

"Yes, I do," Monty said.

"So?"

"Raven's done it. She's gotten to the eye and gotten us in. I'm currently filming a loop to send back to her. Diyoza won't even know when we leave."

Octavia gathered him up into hug. She knew that they were all wondering how Raven had managed to it and they knew that it would be a long story. She was sure that Echo had to do something that they needed. Octavia could see it in Clarke's eyes. She was worried about Raven. They both were and they both knew that whatever Echo did, someone got hurt. Octavia wasn't upset about that, but she knew that Raven would be. She was worried about Raven, Murphy and Emori, and the longer they hadn't heard from Echo or Raven, the worse her worry was.

"Has there been anymore word?" Clarke asked.

"Nothing from them, no, but I've managed to hear their movements."

"Can you plot on a map?" Octavia questioned.

"I can try, but I would need help. I don't know the Valley. Clarke does."

"Then, work with her. We need to be able to figure out where they are digging in and where we can get in quickly. I need the two of you to work together."

"We will. I want Harper to be armed. Bring our guards, too. Be careful and deal with Indra."

"I will," Octavia replied. "I'll make sure that Delphi brings you all some weapons. I want you to be careful, too."

Octavia turned and went to the door. She knew that she had guards outside of it. She would keep some posted up until she got done with Indra. But, she knew that she need to go check on Madi and the other _goufa, _too. She was worried about the girl, but she knew that Madi could care for herself. She didn't want to single her out, but she promised Clarke that she would protect her.

She quickly worked her way through the bunker and up to the class rooms. Kane was in there with the younger children working on their English and _Trigedasleng _translations. As she looked around the room, she realized that Gaia and the other _goufa_ were further up in the bunker working on their fighting skills. She knew that Gaia would only have the teens there and the older ones at that. She had been good with _goufas_ and keeping them in line. She made her way up to the room that used to practice.

She stopped just outside and watched them. She saw them working as Gaia put them through their paces. She wasn't pushing Madi and even Madi wasn't pushing herself. She could see it and Octavia wondered that if she could see it, if the _goufas_ could as well. She looked around at them all and realized that Ethan was paired with Madi. She wasn't sure that this was a good idea. She knew it wasn't. Ethan was too hard, too strong, and too far gone in his indoctrination to be soft and work with well Madi. If Madi let loose, she would hurt him. Of that, Octavia had no doubt. But, after the ceremony the night before and the fact that Octavia had been letting Madi and Clarke stay in the office and her quarters, she knew that Ethan was ruthless. She also knew that it was her fault.

She watched them drill. She said nothing as she watched. Ethan bore down on Madi. He didn't give her a chance to recover quickly. He just kept coming and coming until she tripped and fell down. Octavia looked at him as he ruthless stared her down. She was about to come off the wall when she saw Gaia's hand stopping there practice. Gaia moved from her position to beside Madi and Ethan.

"Try again," she told Madi. "Strike high. Strike low. Defend. Got it?"

"Got it," Madi replied.

Ethan bore down on her again. Madi did as Gaia bade. She struck high and then low. Then Ethan did. He wasn't just going through the motions. He was taking his anger out Madi. Octavia knew the moment that Gaia saw it. She moved between them, sword in hand, to break them apart. Ethan took two steps back from Madi and gave Octavia a smile. Gaia moved them back into position and started the drill again.

It that second that she realized that Ethan was showing off. He was trying to make an impression on Octavia. They both knew that he was the oldest of the teens, barely older than Madi. He was trying to prove his worth to his foster mother that he could fight and join the invasion. Gaia saw it, too, but it was too late at Ethan struck Madi down to the concrete floor and hovered over her ready for the kill strike.

"Hold!" Gaia shouted. "Why did you do that?"

"She gave me the opening, _Seda,_" Ethan replied. "We train for the kill and to serve _Wonkru. _We always have to look for the opening, for the kill."

"I see. And would you strike down every man you face?" Gaia asked him. "Not every man deserves death, not every enemy can be defeated by a sword. Try again and remember that we are trying to disarm and practice strikes, not killing each other."

"If we don't train to win, then what's the point?" Ethan asked her.

Gaia's eyes narrowed. She stood back and pushed Madi out of the way. She raised her sword. "Drill with me," Gaia commaned.

Octavia knew that she should stop how things were going, but she wanted to see what Gaia was going to do. Ethan started the attack against Gaia and she deflected and defended. He pushed and pushed but she didn't give way. When she saw it, she used the drill against him and landed a strike to his ribs. He stepped back, watching him fall.

"I expected more from _Wonkru gona. _Honor. Strength. Unity. That is how we win. What is the _Wonkru _motto?" Gaia asked the teens.

No one spoke. They all looked around at each other. Gaia shook her head.

"What do we say?" Gaia questioned them all again.

Madi stepped forward and said, "_Omon gon oson."_

_"Sha, Madi, omon gon oson,_" Gaia replied. "All of me for all of us. We fight together. We live together and we die together. And, we do it all for each other."

Madi smiled at Gaia. Octavia quirked her mouth. She knew that Madi could hold her own, so she waited to see what Madi would do next.

"Positions. Again," Gaia commanded and Madi stepped around her. Sword at the ready, she nodded at Gaia. "Strike and defend."

Octavia saw it. She saw the look in Madi's eyes. The girl wasn't going to back down. She was going to fight and she was going to beat Ethan with a smile.

Gaia moved closer to Madi and stood there looking over at Ethan.

"What you don't know, Ethan, is that Madi has three kills in battle. Three. How many do you have? None and why is that? Because you haven't been in battle. You would do good to learn from her. She has already faced our enemy and she wasn't even _Wonkru _at the time. Now she is. Now she is your sister, your clansman and she is_ gona."_

_"She is a false night blood."_

_"Is Clarke?" _

_"No, Seda," _Ethan replied quickly.

"Then neither is Madi," Gaia stated. "Again."

This time as they fought, Madi drew him in. She let him score the first hit. As she stumbled back, Clarke entered the arena. Madi stood up and looked at him. Clarke shook her head. She knew that look. She knew that determined tilt to Madi's chin.

Madi raised her trainer sword and started forward towards Ethan. With three strikes, she had him on the ground with the point of her sword to his neck. He yielded, but she did something that Ethan never word. She reached down and helped him back up. He looked at her hand and slowly took it.

Octavia took that moment to step forward. She cocked her head at both of them. She took the sword from Madi and handed it behind her, knowing that Gaia would take it.

"Don't think just because someone looks smaller or weaker that they are. Madi has been training with _Wanheda_ for six years. She is gona. You would all do well to learn from her," Octavia stated before placing a hand on Madi's shoulder. "As for her being a false _natblida, _it doesn't matter because the time of the _Hedas _is over. But, know that she could and if she chooses to fight for the right to be _Osleya _as a member of _Wonkru, _she can. And, honestly, she'll win. Now, all of you get cleaned up and report to your firsts for training."

The teens all dropped their swords in a barrel and left the room. Ethan huffed under his breath and Octavia knew that she would have to deal with it on her own. He was her problem and her resposibility.

"What is it?" Clarke asked as they were the only ones left.

"My fosterling, my responsibility," Octavia stated.

"Give him to Bellamy, let him worry about the boy for a day or two," Clarke suggested.

"That could be a good idea, but first I need to speak with Indra," Octavia replied.


	40. Chapter 40

**Chapter 40**

**One thousand nine hundred eighty-six day since ****_Praimfaya_**

Octavia was in the arena, a large area in the bunker that they used for practicing and fighting. It wasn't the pits. It wasn't a place of punishment. It was a place to study and learn, to get better and stronger, and to build the discipline that Octavia hoped they wouldn't need once they got back to the surface. She wanted them to be strong. She wanted them to be ready, but she knew that they needed to be prepared. Only Clarke really knew what they were going to be up against.

She watched as Indra ran some of them through their paces. It was interesting to watch the different clans fight each other. It was more interesting to what those that were formerly _Skaikru_ fight against the Grounders. They had all done what they always had. They adapted. They took the different fighting styles from each of the former clans and made up their own. Octavia smiled at this, even though she adopted a more traditional _Trikru _style herself. The children that were being taught did as well for the most part, but she could see more the _Skaikru_ adaptations in their fighting. It wasn't surprising considering that it was Kane and Gaia that were their main teachers. And, well as much as Gaia and Indra tried to fight their mother-daughter relationship, Gaia was truly Indra's daughter when it came to fighting.

"They look good," Gaia said as she walked up on Octavia.

"They have your mother teaching them," Octavia replied.

"And, she'll beat them until they get it right," Gaia stated.

"It is a quick motivator."

"I'm well aware."

"Sometimes I forget that you were trained to be a warrior before you left TonDC to join the _flaimkepas._"

"So does she," Gaia lamented.

"Do you think that you were right to go?"

"I think for me, yes, but for her as a leader in the village and a high general in _Trikru,_ no. She still sees me as that little girl who broke when she lost her father and brother. I know that she was hurting, but I couldn't see my death as something that the _heda _would want. I felt like I was driving to be something else and when I ran, I ran to Polis. I didn't know where I was going. I had never really been out of TonDC before then. When Titus found me..."

"He found you?"

"Yeah, and he didn't send me home, immediately."

"That's why Indra hated him," Octavia stated like she'd just had a big ephiany about her mentor and head general.

"That's part of it. Mostly it is because he thought that he had Lexa's ear. He overstepped himself a lot trying to maintain things. Even mom could see that things were changing or needed to change, but Titus thought it was too much too fast. He thought that Lexa would dismiss him and quit listening to his teachings. He had served three _hedas_. He just didn't see that we couldn't keep killing each other like we were. Our way of life is harsh enough as it is. We didn't need to keep fighting between the clans and I hate to admit that if it hadn't been for _Skaikru_ we'd all be dead."

"Wow."

"Don't repeat that," Gaia said.

"No, I just never thought that someone as dedicated to the _hedas _as you are would ever admit that change is needed."

"Being in here has taught me more than Titus did. I am the last of the _flaimkepas, _Octavia. I know that I have to adapt and overcome. I can't keep things going the way they were. There is no _heda. _You were right the time of the _hedas_ is over, but that doesn't mean that we don't need to know our history. That doesn't mean that we stop who we were and who we are. We might have a _natblida heda_, but we still have the _osleya. _And, she is still a great warrior."

"Stop."

"What?" Gaia asked, looking perplexed at Octavia's command.

"Quit kissing my ass. Tell me what you want, Gaia. What is it that you wish to ask me?" Octavia commanded.

"We are nearing a another half year mark, _Osleya,"_ Gaia started.

"And?"

"The people are still waiting. They need to know that we are still trying to get out. They need confirmation that we will see the surface, _ai Osleya._"

Octavia just watched her for a moment. She knew what Gaia was saying was the truth. The people were trying to still believe, but they were worried that it wouldn't happen. They were sacred. She was scared, too. She couldn't keep them happy if she couldn't prove that they would get out. It had been over five years. They needed some sort of truth. They needed reassurance that they would get out. She understood that, but it was something that she couldn't get them. She knew that there was too much rubble on top of the door. They couldn't dig their way out. She'd been using that as a punishment for years and they were still no closer to making a dent in the walls to get out.

"I am sure that we need to say something, but what? We have no way to know when they will get us out. We also don't know if they made it. I can't even let them know that anyone is coming for us. We are essentially alone, Gaia. What hope can I give them? None. And, honestly, we've known this for years. We've been just surviving since around day fifty, Gaia. We've all known and we've all just been blissfully ignorant to it."

"The people still need hope, _Osleya,_" Gaia countered.

"Hope will kill us all."

"You speak like you know something more than you are telling us," Gaia replied.

"Don't we all," Octavia said and walked away.

Her brain was on fire. She knew that Clarke had survived, but she didn't know whether Bellamy and the rest did. She'd been walking around that bunker for over five years hoping that her brother had made it to the Go-Sci Ring and that he was coming back for her. She'd held onto that belief, but even now, she was tarting to doubt herself. Lying to the bunker was just one way she kept the going, but now, things were looking bleak.

She moved through bunker. She had no purpose for that day. She really didn't. She knew that Gaia was right. Just like she knew that Miller was behind her, closely, but not too closely, following her, still having her back. She stopped in a hallway and stood there. She turned and stared at the concrete walls. She let out a breath and the leaned a hand against the wall, letting her frustrations show for a moment. She broke a little and Miller stepped up.

"I'm alone," he told her.

And, he was. He had been for months, really. Following her aimlessly, alone and protecting her from she didn't know what, but she had always been thankful for his quiet presence. He gave her strength that she didn't know that she needed some days. He believed in her. By the Gods, she didn't know why, but he did. She turned and looked at him. His dark eyes watching her. A small smile creeping onto his face.

"Why?"

"Why what, Octavia?" he asked her.

"Why do you blindly follow me?"

"I don't."

"Then why haven't you let anyone kill me?" she questioned.

"You are our best hope, Octavia."

"And, why is that?" she inquired, because honestly she wasn't so sure anymore.

"You are a survivor. And, as much as I hate to compare you to anyone, you're like Murphy. You always find a way to survey, no matter how ugly it can get. But, unlike Murphy, you aren't selfish about it. And, you've proven that again and again. You suffer so we don't all have to. I didn't get that with Clarke when we were in Mount Weather until after she left. I would follow either of you into Hell and back because for some fucking uncanny reason, you'll get us out. We all had a rough start on Earth, Octavia, but you and Clarke had it the worst," he told her.

"How do you figure?"

"She was the princess and you were the only second born in generations. You lived beneath a floor. You soaked up everything that Bellamy could teach you and I remember you with Pike in the crash course of Earth skills. You will lead us out of this. I know you will. But, until you do, I'll be here when you break and you need to hide. I know things look bad, but we've been through worse."

"But, that still doesn't tell me why, Miller," Octavia stated.

"When we were in Mount Weather, I didn't want to believe that there was something going on. Clarke knew. I don't know how she knew before she broke into Medical and got her proof, but she did. She didn't think that they were just there to help us. It didn't make sense to her. She couldn't understand how a people that lived in the mountain just stayed there for generations and hadn't interacted with the Grounders. When she figured out that they were the ones that were creating the boogey men that the Grounders were afraid of, she wondered how long it would be before they did something to us. She knew that the Wallaces weren't just going to let us go when they found the survivors from the Ark. They were looking for them because they wanted their blood, too. When they took us, it was to experiment on us. Fox was one of the first to disappear. We were given a bullshit story about it. Clarke knew enough about medicine to know that it was utter nonsense. She tried to tell us, but all we could see was fucking cake. We sold her out, in a manner of speaking, for fucking chocolate cake and what we thought were modern, but not, clothes. They kept us herded to one bunk room for easier control. When Clarke got out and Dante gave us the bullshit about her being in isolation because she'd injured herself and needing a deeper psyche eval, Monty knew. That was when he knew. Monty and Jasper figured it out and then we fought for our lives. We were fighting to stay alive and not be bled and drilled for our marrow at the same time that Clarke and you were fighting to get in the Mountain. So, yeah, I'll follow you both to Hell.

"Octavia, we might not like what we have to do to survive, but I know that you are doing the best with what we have. It is all I can ask of you. It is all I could ask of Clarke. She's never stopped fighting for us and as far as I know, neither have you. Don't stop now. You can't. If you do, the bunker will implode and we'll all die. You are still the best thing for us and do you know why?" Miller asked her.

"No."

"Because you are the best of both worlds," Miller told her with a smile. "You became a Grounder, but you never forgot about those of us from the original hundred or those from the Ark. You may hate most of the people from the Ark and none of us would blame you for that, but that didn't stop you from trying to save as many people as you could. You fought for the survivors of the Hundred and the Ark in the last Conclave, Octavia and you won. YOU WON. So, I know that you'll figure something out. I know you will," he stated.

"At least one of us does," Octavia murmured.

"I think you need to rest, Octavia. You need to go to your office and just be alone for awhile. Listen to your radio. I don't know what kind of music that they left in here, but it seems to calm you. And, for whatever reason, when you get calm, you come up with things for us to do to survive."

She gave him a smile. She pushed off the wall and straightened herself up. She looked up and down the hall. Miller didn't know what she was looking for and she could tell that he didn't care. He was there to support her and protect her. She nodded and started back up towards her quarters and office.

When they got to the door, she paused. She thought for a second to tell him about the radio. She looked into his eyes and wondered if he already knew. She reached out for his arm and they shook their arms in the Grounder fashion. She shook her head as she went into her office. She knew that Miller was trying to give her time to herself. Not that she wanted it or needed it, but he saw it as something that would help her. And, if it would help her, it would help the entire bunker. For him, it was a win-win. For her, it meant that she was still alone.

She took off all of her _Blodreina _paraphernalia and just dropped it across her desk. She was starting to not care about it. She didn't want to wear it anymore. It weight a ton, and it weighed her down. Her sword dropped with a clang, and she just stared at it. Once, she wouldn't be caught dead without it. Now, it just seemed to be unnecessary. It was part of the pomp and circumstance. She still wouldn't leave her office without being armed. She wasn't stupid. She knew that there were still members of _Azgeda _and even _Skaikru_ that wanted her dead.

_Blood must have blood, _she mused.

She walked over to a couch and sat down. She looked around the office and mused at what she'd become. She'd gone from being a burden on "society" to the "Queen." How many bodies did she have to climb over to get there? How many people did she have to sacrifice to save the many? Was it worth it? She had to believe that it was. She had to believe that she had done everything in her power, that she had done the best that she could with what she had and that she hadn't acted for personal gain or revenge. She let out a breath and just fell back on the cushions, letting their strange softness accept her hardened body. It was an odd thing for her to just relax and then she realized that was what Miller wanted her to do.

He'd seen in her body. He'd seen in her eyes. He's seen it in her walk. She needed to calm down and relax, or she would put the bunker on edge. They didn't need that. They were almost six months into the fifth year under the ground. She knew that the people were antsy, and she knew that it was because they had learned to tell time differently now that they didn't have a sun or seasons to show them.

"Fucking clocks," she said aloud as she dropped her arm across her eyes.

If she didn't find a way to calm herself and relax, the people would begin to see it. If they thought that she was stressed, rumors would begin. If rumors began, things would begin to fall apart. She couldn't break in front of them. If she did, Miller was right. The bunker would fail, and it would fail spectacularly.

"How did you do this, Clarke?" she asked the ceiling. "How did you fight for so long when we kept pulling you back? How did you bear it all for us? I don't know how much longer I can do this. I know that you are happy in Eden, but damn it, we deserve another shot on Earth. How do you bear this? How do you deal with all of us being down here? How do you handle not being able to see your mother? Do you secretly mourn for her? Do you mourn us?"

Suddenly, like someone actually heard her questions, the radio crackled. She sat up immediately, but she didn't leave the couch. She just stared at the radio. Part of her believed that she was dreaming; part of her hoped that she wasn't.

"I know it has been a long time since I've done a broadcast this late, but I thought that I would try something different tonight, Bell."

Octavia walked over to the radio. She checked it to make sure that it was on, actually on, and recording. Once she was happy, she turned up the volume just enough that she could hear it on the couch without it being so loud that they would be able to hear it outside her office door. She just sat on her couch, staring at the radio, like it had all the answers that she needed.

"Madi is already asleep. It was a hard day for us both. We spent the morning planting and then fishing. We then worked on some cleaning and repairing around the village. I've been keeping the building ups in hopes that you would be here soon. I know that seems stupid, but it gives me something to do, something to look forward to, you know? I mean, if the houses are all cleaned up and prepped to be lived in, then you'll come, right? It's a stupid thought, but it motivates to keep moving. It's been over five years and still no word, from you or the bunker. My heart hurts and sometimes...I go to a dark place. I wonder if it was all in vain. Did my staying behind to get you to space actually work? Are Octavia and Mom okay? I don't know.

"I cry for them sometimes at night. Some nights it must be really bad, because I wake up with Madi in my bed the next morning. To her credit, she never asks. She knows and understands. How could she not? Her entire village is gone. She is the last of them and only because she is a _natblida. _

"Then, I look at her face and her innocence and I realize that this is where I belong. Maybe this is my penance for all the lives I took. This is my punishment. I have to survive alone with her and hope that you are okay and coming back. It's sort of a personal Hell for me, too. Don't get me wrong, I love Madi. She is a wonderful child, now, and I know that she cares for me. We have each other," Clarke said over the radio.

Octavia realized then, again, that Clarke felt everything, even when she didn't show it. She compartmentalized it all so that she could keep moving. If she hadn't they would all died. This was just another test for them, and they both knew how greedy the Earth was for life.

"She keeps me sane. I don't even want to think about what she would have been doing, if we hadn't found each other. She was surrounded by so much death... I couldn't imagine what she thought... She still doesn't like to talk about it. She'd rather hear about all of you, so I tell her the stories. She's still hung up on Octavia. No matter how much I tell her, she still believes that _Skairipa_ is a 'beast' and we have no reason to believe that she wouldn't win the conclave. She's right. We shouldn't and I can't, now. I have to believe that Octavia and my mom are alive. I have to believe that they are doing everything that they can to keep everyone alive. I have to believe that she did the right thing and surrounded herself with the right people to keep them all alive. And, as much as I hate to admit this, now, I hope that Jaha, for all of his faults, is one of them. He is a brilliant engineer, but he is also someone that understands the mantle of leadership of a people.

"Hurry up and come home, Bell. We miss you. We need you. May we meet again," Clarke finished her broadcast.

"May we meet again," Octavia replied automatically, but this time...this time she hoped that it was true and would happen soon.


	41. Chapter 41

**Chapter 41**

Octavia stood on the top of the hole into the bunker. She was surveying everything that she could see. The sun was going down behind her. She knew that she couldn't see it, but she dreamed that she could. She looked out in the desert that surrounded them and into the direction of Eden. To her, it was just out of reach, but she knew it wasn't true. She knew that she couldn't see Eden. She wanted to see it. She wanted to run her through the grass. She wanted to lay in the grass and smell the coming rain. She wanted to take up a spear and go on a hunt. She wanted to sleep out under the stars and not worry about the next day. She wondered if Clarke had found any horses. She hadn't heard of any, but she hoped that some has somehow survived. She missed her horse. She missed the wind in her hair. She missed the freedom of the outdoors. She felt like a prisoner some days in the bunker. Being in out, even in the failing light of day, gave her so much more hope than she had before they were released.

"Hey," Clarke said as she came up to join her.

Octavia looked back over her shoulder. She gave Clarke a small smile and then turned back to the landscape before her. Her green eyes took in everything. Now, she was imagining crossing the desert with her men, leading them into battle, and taking back Eden. She'd promised Clarke that she could. She promised that she would save Abby and Kane. She had plans set in motion. She had Echo, of all people, in Eden make a path for her to take it.

"Do you want to talk?" Clarke asked her.

Octavia said nothing. She just continued to look out as the sun set before them. Finally, she just sat down. She let her legs hang over the rubble. She just sat there in the quiet. She was happy to be alone. She closed her eyes and let the peace of the coming evening wash over her. She didn't care that she had an audience. She knew that some of _Wonkru_ were watching her and trying to figure out what she was doing. She knew that she'd never really let them have idle time in the bunker, and she wasn't really now. But, here she was just sitting and surveying her kingdom, as it was. It was a very strange sight for them all.

Clarke realized that Octavia needed this time. They had been locked down in the belly of the bunker planning a war. Waiting on word from Echo or Raven, they kept preparations moving forwards to their goal. Monty and Harper were still working on the farm. Bellamy had taken Ethan under his wing at more of Indra's insistence than Octavia's asking. And, Kara Cooper, former head of the farm, former traitor, and former bunkermate, was now captive for turning on her own people. Two of Miller's best were on her guard duty, day and night, and reported only to Miller, Indra, or Octavia. Cooper was neutralized for the moment.

Patience wasn't something that Octavia was known for, but they were all waiting to see what their _Osleya _and _Bloodreina _would do. Her people were afraid, and she knew that they had right to be. They might starve if they stayed, but she was hoping on Monty's knowledge. It was all going to be a gamble, and it was gamble that none of them could afford to lose.

Octavia closed her eyes and let the breeze of the evening flow over her. She soaked in the very last rays of the sun on her skin. She listened to the bustle of her people as they tried to make something out of the rubble that was Polis.

"I miss the quiet of the early evening," Octavia finally said.

Clarke just watched. She didn't know what to say to that. She knew that Octavia loved Earth. She saw it before everything went sideways. She could see it again. It was all Octavia wanted. She didn't want to rule. She wanted to get on a horse and lose herself in the countryside, only to come back when needed to fight if need be. It was something that Clarke was willing to give her, but Clarke and Octavia knew that it couldn't happen until Eden was their's again.

"I miss the beauty of the valley."

"I'm sure."

"Are you planning on staying out here all night?"

"I might."

"Is there somewhere else you could go?" Clarke asked her.

"Why?"

"I just figured that they would have made you house or something here, somewhere so you didn't need to go back into the bunker," Clarke stated.

"I'm sure that they do, but I've not used it. Indra would have made sure that it was near the old tower or somewhere that still meant strength to the people. They are all well aware that Polis is no more, but that we will have to rebuild. This is their place. This has been the place of rebirth for all grounders, and it is again. Twice now, Man has risen from the ashes out of that bunker and lived. Twice, Man has survived the apocalypse. And, twice, Man will survive."

"And, it will need leaders that are capable of helping them achieve that. Octavia, you can't just let it all go once the battle is over. The people will still look to you for leadership. I know that you will concede it to me, but you must do what is right for the people. We both know that. Our lives don't matter anymore. Mine hasn't been my own since that day on the bridge with Anya, Octavia. Everything that I've done has been for our people," Clarke told her.

"Our people?"

"The original hundred, and then _Skaikru, _and now, _Wonkru."_

"You are _Wanheda, _Clarke. I've fought beside you every time that I was called. I fought for _Skaikru _in the last conclave and won. I've been fighting for us all since we landed here."

"And will knew that the girl beneath the floor would become one of Man's greatest warriors and generals."

"Whip one that a princess from space would save the world more times than she cares to admit," Octavia countered.

"Like you said before, our lives are not our own. We owe the people nothing, but yet we still fight for them...constantly. They need us, and we won't fail them. We can't."

"Or, we all die," Octavia added.

Clarke just nodded.

"So, no matter what I want, I still have to fight. My life will always being to the people, now. I will never be able to rest until Eden is safe add controlled."

"Yes, and you've bound yourself to me," Clarke told her.

"I'm bound you?"

"In blood, before the entire bunker, we claimed each other. You even named Madi yours, making her a possible heir, by making me yours. You've not even done that with Ethan add he is your fosterling," Clarke explained. "Or, have you forgotten,_ ai Osleya?"_

_"_I simply made you my equal as my second. You are officially my successor. Madi being yours...well, it just solidifies her protection."

Clarke just nodded. Octavia knew why she was hesitant. She felt it too. She understood. They understood each other.

"Clarke, what do you see when you look out there?"

"Once, I saw a wasteland. Now, I see hope. I see Eden and I know that it is only seven days marching, but that is my home. This isn't." Clarke turned and looked her more fully. She could see the way that Octavia's eyes studied everything. "Why? What do you see?" Clarke asked her in return.

"I see Polis as it once was. I see a people that are afraid to become more than they are. I see a future in Eden, and it makes me happy. But, I'm not stupid. I see the wasteland that the world has become and I know that I can't take everyone with me. It would be foolish to try. The more time I stay here, the more I realize that I will take the army at their fullest and conquer the valley. I will return it to you and then, I will send part of the army back. I can't abandon the bunker. We still need it. Partially for the tech and medically facilities, but also for the housing and farm."

"Housing and farm?"

"We can't all descend on the valley, Clarke. If we do, we'll run out of food. I get that we'll have to be mostly vegetarians, regardless of the meat that Eden might have to offer. If we all go, we all die because of lack of food," Octavia told her and then held up her hand as she continued. "I know that we've been eating bugs and stuff to maintain a high enough protein level, but I also know that your Mom is in that valley and she can see what it has to offer. When it was just you and Madi, you had your farm, the river and lake, and animals to hunt. If we all show up, we will devastate the land and run out of food. We'd have paradise, but we would end up dying from starvation in the end."

"You have been thinking a lot, haven't you?"

"It is all I do, now, Clarke. They are my people. You are my people. I didn't let them starve here. I won't let them starve there, either."

"What do you propose?"

"I've already have Monty working on the farm. He hopes to have some good results for me in a few days. I hope he does as well. I plan on leaving him behind with the children. I know that Harper will stay with him. I'm okay with that."

"What are you planning?" Clarke asked.

"We conquer the valley and I give it back to you. I've made you my co-regent, but if we are both in Eden, I need someone who I can trust to run the bunker. I need to find someone that won't try to turn the bunker against us. I don't know want to totally abandon it. We'll need it for the people, and I believe that Monty can heal the land. It will take time, but once the valley is secure, we'll have it."

"Do you remember how Bellamy said that you read too much Roman history?"

"Yeah, so what? I can't leave him in charge. I don't know that I trust him. He certainly doesn't trust me. He still looks at me like I'm going to destroy everyone. He doesn't understand. At least not like you do, Clarke. He wants to, but he doesn't. The one time that he could have made the right decision, he didn't and he helped destroy Lexa's army. The only other time he made the right decision was leaving you behind. It broke him, I'm sure, but he survived."

"With her," Clarke stated.

"Does that bother you?"

"That Echo lived?"

"Yes," Octavia said.

"No, it doesn't. She was just doing what she thought that she should for _Azgeda_ and she paid for it. She was banished, first by Roan and then by you. She ran to us in hopes that our search for Raven wasn't futile. Thankfully it wasn't and Becca had another rocket. But, even with all that she was scared, she tried to commit ritualistic suicide Bellamy told me just before they were going to blast off. She was scared of space, but now, she understands more of where we come from and why we do things the way we do. Like us, she's learned another culture. She's a Grounder that become Spacekru."

"Do you think that I should leave her in charge?" Octavia asked.

"I don't know. I know that she's proven herself to Raven, Monty and Harper. She's trying to prove herself to you, and you kinda have to take her in after this mission or lose me," Clarke added.

"I know. Don't remind me. After Cooper, she is the one I fear the most."

"Not me?"

"No, I wouldn't fight you. I would gladly hand it all over to you and retire to Eden, living out my days hunting and fishing. Echo would be a good choice to be a governor. I need to call the counsel. We need to have a meeting," Octavia stated.

"Are you missing any members?"

"Your mother and Kane," Octavia answered. "And, well, Cooper. I can't allow her to be in a position of power. She'll try for another coup. I will elevate Monty to hold her spot and represent the farm on the Council. For now, I'll pull Jackson for your mother, but Kane position would either be held by Gaia, who already has one, or honestly, you."

"Me?" Clarke questioned.

"Yes, as my second and the _Wanheda, _it would be a given that you are on the Council. I would have made Kane step aside. He didn't really have an official title to be there. I wanted him there to round out the numbers and because I wanted his advise."

Clarke watched her again. She closed her eyes, but turned her head to the sky. She was letting the last rays of the day touch her.

"Why did Kane not have a title? He was head of security and a chancellor. Did the members of _Skaikru _not elect him to your council?"

"No, I didn't allow them to nominate anyone based on clan. It was based on profession. Kane and Gaia were the two _sedas_, but Gaia held more sway because she was also the _Flaimkepa._ As head of their religion, she was almost guaranteed a spot on the council. Cooper got hers because of the Farm. Miller as head of my security and Indra because she was my head general. The rest were all chosen for what they did for the bunker. Except for Niylah."

"Why Niylah?"

"Because I used her as a test for the people. She had many jobs that she did, not just one, but the main one was to let me know what the people thought. They knew that she had my ear and that I listened to her. They could argue their grievances with her before bringing them to me. She also gave me what the mob mentality of the bunker was. She was valuable, but like so many of those in there, over time, she drank the Kool Aid and became so enamored with _Blodreina_ that she forgot her true purpose. I was hoping that she would stay her upbeat self. I was wrong, but she still served me well."

"So, we can't ask her to run the bunker," Clarke mused.

"No, we can't."

"And, you don't think that Miller would?"

"No, he'll follow me. Jackson should stay back, but I know that I can leave Niylah and Tenne, your mother's newest apprentice, here as the head of the medical team. I know that there are those I can leave in power without any issues, but the Council will want to hear my reasons and my choices."

"Then, tell them."

"We are not ready for that," Octavia stated.

She didn't wait for Clarke to say anything in return. She simply stood and continued to look over the darkening horizon. She moved to Miller's side.

"Water," she said, quietly and simply.

He immediately pulled a tankard from his person and handed it to her. She unscrewed the cap and drank a healthy amount. She closed her eyes and let the water flow down her throat, cooling her slightly from the day's heat. She turned back around and handed him back the tankard. Miller took it and placed it back on his person. He cocked his eyebrow at her and then nodded over to Clarke, who was still seated on the end of the rubble watching the people below. Octavia took the hint, smiled at her friend and guard, and then walked back over to Clarke.

"Let's get something to eat. We can talk and reminisce about being leaders over dinner. Come back in with me?"

Clarke looked back at her. She could see the uneasiness in Octavia's eyes. She knew that Octavia was hurting. She also knew that Octavia was willing to do whatever it took to take back the valley. Octavia was so much the duality of thinking that Clarke was the only one that completely understood it. Clarke knew that the duality of peace and war lived inside Octavia as it lived inside her. Unfortunately, she was _Wanheda_, the Commander of Death. And, Octavia was _Blodreine en Osleya. _She was both the "Red Queen" and the "Champion of the People." She fought to maintain their lives and she brought about a peace for them to live in. But, she did so through violence and she was preparing to do so again.

Octavia leaned over and offered Clarke her hand. Clarke shook her head and reached out for the hand. She felt the roughness of Octavia's hand against her own. She allowed Octavia to pull her up, and once she was standing, she didn't let go of Octavia's hand.

"We should talk and plan," Clarke told her.

"We've planned enough, Clarke. Tonight, I want peace. No war. No plans. Just peace," Octavia replied.

"Then, we will have peace."

"I'm going back to my rooms. You are free to join me if you wish, Clarke. I will have food brought to my rooms. Tonight, I will not speak of war or planning. Tonight, I will rest and I will think about my people. Tomorrow, I will call for the Council and we will decide who should stay behind and who will go."

"Will you listen to the radio?" Clarke asked her.

"To music, yes, nothing more."

"Then, I'll join you," Clarke stated. "Monty and Harper are caring for Madi with Gaia, in their rooms. I will stay with you tonight, if you wish."

Octavia smiled. She didn't know what Clarke was playing at, but if the blonde wished to be with her for the night, she would allow it. Hell, she wanted Clarke more than she wanted anything. She was willing to do anything that she could to prove herself to Clarke as well, but now, Clarke was coming to her. Her mind didn't know how to process it. She was getting her wish a little more each day as she spent time with Clarke, but she couldn't help but wonder why. Why would Clarke choose her? She had no reason to. Octavia hadn't proven herself to anyone except to those still alive after six plus years in the bunker. Clarke had foraged, hunted, farmed, and survived on the surface with nothing more than a child.

"I would enjoy your company. I will see you soon, then," Octavia replied. She let go of Clarke's hand and turned back to the entrance that had been dug out. "Miller, make arrangements for dinner to be brought to my office. Enough for two. And, once, I retire for the evening, no one but Clarke is to disturb me. Make sure that the Council is notified, along with Monty and Harper. I wish to have a meeting with them between breakfast and lunch tomorrow."

"As you command, _Osleya,_" Miller responded with a salute.

Octavia didn't wait any longer. She took off towards the bunker, leaving Clarke and Miller to do nothing but follow in her wake. She gave everyone she passed a rare smile as she entered the bunker and headed for the office. She actually felt lighter. She felt like her time outside the bunker and the small conversation that she had with Clarke had helped settle her mind. She was still conflicted, but she figured that she had a game plan and the plan was solid.

The people welcomed this Octavia with open arms. They knew that it meant that Octavia was ready. Indra saw the smile and saw that both Miller and Clarke were following. She saw the smirk that graced both Miller and Clarke's faces. She quirked an eyebrow at Miller, using facial cues that only they knew in order to protect their _Osleya. _His quick eye movements to Clarke told Indra all she needed to know. Octavia had found a companion, finally. The people would approve when the rumors started more in earnest. To be truthfully, Octavia could do no better than to win the affections of the blonde. To Indra, Clarke was the only one truly worthy of her Queen. Niylah, while loyal, was only meant to be a distraction and a comfort. Clarke could be that and more. Indra gave Miller a slight nod and went about her business, not bothering to hide the small smirk that graced her lips, too.

Octavia walked into her office and worked her way into her rooms that were attached. She immediately went to closet and changed. She took off the long sleeved shirt and all the trappings that marked her as _Blodreine. _Tonight she just wanted to be Octavia for a few hours, and she knew that Clarke would give her that. They understood each other like no other, save possibly Indra.

She pulled out a black tank top and put it on. She knew that she wouldn't be cold in the bunker's controlled climate. She also changed her pants from the thick leather and armored pants to some dark linen, almost lounge wear, pants. She rarely dressed down so completely anymore. The threat of a coup was always looming, but Octavia always won out. Her guards and warriors stood for her, and in turn, she protected them from death in the bunker. She owed them her life and they owed her for theirs. Tonight, she would test them.

She walked into her office. Miller had already brought in two trays and sat them on her desk. She was a little miffed that she hadn't heard him come in, but she knew that she was protected. She looked down at the tray. It was like others she'd had, bug bread, some vegetables, and no meat, but she saw that they had taken in Diyoza's offerings. If these were hallmarks of what she could find in the valley called Eden, she would launch a thousand wars to provide for her people. She wouldn't stop until Eden was theirs, because with bounties like this, her people would be happy again.

"You're thinking too hard," Clarke said as she came into the office.

Octavia turned around in time to see the door close behind her. The slight nod and eye contact from Miller was all she needed for the night. She gave Clarke a smile as she motioned to the couch. She saw that Clarke, too, had dressed down a little. She knew that the blonde didn't have much on her, thanks to Diyoza possessing the valley. But, it was good to see her more relaxed. Clarke sat down on the couch, and Octavia joined her carrying the trays of food.

"It isn't much," Octavia said.

"It's fine," Clarke replied. "Did you have a lot of this from the farm?"

"No, some of this is from the valley, I'm sure. The people weren't going to let the food go to waste. With bounties like this, the people will fight harder."

"I heard that the _randzis_ are preparing a thick stew for lunch tomorrow. The whole bunker is buzzing about it. I'm sure that the people will enjoy it."

"I'm sure that they will."

"Tell me something, Octavia."

"What?"

"You listened everyday?"

"Every day that you broadcast, yes. Recorded them, too. Why?"

"So you've heard..."

"All the break downs, yes. All the triumphs, yes. But, most of all you gave me something to hold on to. I knew that the land above was survivable."

"For me," Clarke lamented.

"But, it meant that our calculations were correct. The radiation would dissipate and we would be able to live up there again. What we didn't know was the destruction that would occur. We should have anticipated it, but we didn't. If you hadn't been up there... Clarke, you helped me keep everyone alive in this bunker. As long as I knew that you were alive, I knew that I could keep them going."

"And, you never told anyone?"

"No, most of them wouldn't have believed me."

Clarke reached out across the couch and took her hand. Octavia's eyes immediately dropped down to their hands. As she flicked her green eyes up to meet Clarke's bright cerulean, she felt something pass through her.

"I owe you an apology," Octavia told her.

"No, you don't. I did a lot of soul searching while I was alone, Octavia. I know what you heard and I thank you for not sharing them all with my mother. She didn't need to hear about it all," Clarke stated.

"I didn't either, but I felt like we were telling each other secrets. I just couldn't get mine to you. But, it was also for eye opening for me. I learned a lot from you and about leadership from you. I never realized how closely you felt every death. You always made it seem like you didn't truly and completely care, but you did. I know that you made decisions that went against your heart, because you knew in your head that you could suffer if it meant that we, as a whole, didn't. I was vile and rude to you. I wished that you would die while we were assaulting the Mountain, but then I saw what they were doing to our people and I realized...I was willing to let more people die to save ours. I was no better than you were."

"And, yet you've managed to save eight hundred and fourteen," Clarke started.

"Less now," Octavia lamented.

"Yes, but we pulled over eight hundred from the ground, Octavia. You did that. You saved them."

"And, for what? To lead them into another battle to survive. When will it end?" Octavia questioned.

"When we make it," Clarke told her, and gave her hand a firm squeeze.


	42. Chapter 42

**Chapter 42**

**Two Thousand Days after ****_Praimfaya_**

She took a deep breath as she looked over at Miller. She was giving her a big smirk as he stayed in a ready stance. They were both in light armor as they sparred. They weren't really trying to hurt each other at this point. It was more an expulsion of built up energy and practice. As they went at each other, she was glad that they were using practice swords because of the number of times that Miller scored against her. She smiled and acknowledged each hit. She was using this as her work out for the day. There was nothing but a good fight to get her brain going and her heart pumping.

"You're distracted," he told her as he backed away to the far wall, waiting for her to admit it.

"I am."

"You know what happens when you fight distractedly," he said.

"I seem to be doing okay," she chided.

"Yeah, because this isn't real and I'm honestly not trying to kill you," Miller added.

Her smile fell. She knew that he was right. As much as she didn't want to admit, it was true. She knew that he wasn't going for the kill. She'd left him enough holes to take advantage of that he hadn't. He pressed her and then backed off. He never went for her head. She however had been taught to go for the kill. If she didn't kill them, she made sure that they wouldn't get back up for a long time. It was how she was trained. On the ground before everything was for survival and unfortunately, fighting was over resources and land. It was always a fight to the death. Incapacitation was a good thing, but death insured that no one had to worry about that warrior coming back for more.

"What is it?"

"Have we made any head way in the punishment tunnel?"

"Not more than we had yesterday," he replied.

She just nodded. She knew that it was futile, but she was still trying anyway. They needed to be prepared that they would never get out of the bunker. It wasn't a pleasant thought, but it needed to be addressed. She needed to call a Council meeting. She needed to give them the truth and see what they said. She had lead them this long and they had endured. They would and could continue to endure. She was going to make sure of it. Eventually, they would get out. She couldn't let that go, but they needed to make sure that they could survive in the bunker. The other thought that she had was that they couldn't become the _Maunon. _They weren't the _Maun-de, _but she wasn't going to let them turn into them either.

"We can survive on the surface now. We just have to get there. How do we get there?"

"Are you asking me, or just thinking aloud?" Miller inquired.

"Call the Council."

"_Sha, Osleya,_" he replied and left their practice room.

She stood there staring at the concrete that had become her home for the last five and half years. She still felt the claustrophobia that she had growing up, but it was different. She wasn't under the floor anymore. She was in the earth. It was almost as bad. She'd tasted the freedom that the ground gave her only to lose it again. She hated the walls and she wanted to feel the sun on her face again. She'd even welcome the radiation if it meant that she could get out of that bunker. She knew it was futile, but at least the walls weren't driving her batshit crazy...yet.

She walked across the room and dropped the sword in the barrel that held the rest of the training weapons. She grabbed her over shirt and pulled it on. She didn't bother removing her armor. She didn't care. She just needed to get to her office. She knew that the members of their Council would show up there as soon as they got word. She didn't have time to do much else but get to her office. And, oddly, she was actually okay with that, today.

She slowly and methodically moved through the bunker back up to her office. She knew that Timo and Wayne were behind her. Their stotic and shadowy presence was almost as comforting as Miller's. It was different because they were Grounders, but they still loved her in their own way as they protected her. She assumed it was just because they were chosen to protect the _Osleya_, and it would have been the same if she was a _natblida _and the _heda. _Their position was a position of honor among the warriors. She thought of them as her Praetorians, but unlike their Roman counterparts, she wasn't afraid that they would kill her and raise another in her place that they thought was more suited to rule over them all. Every guard was tested over and over again. Miller had left nothing to chance. Neither had Indra. One word against Octavia and they were removed, watched and given farm duty. Indra had told Octavia it was because if they were too tired to complain, they couldn't start another coup.

She nodded to her guards as she entered her office. She walked over to her desk and took off her over shirt. She walked over to the radio and checked it. The recording was waiting for her, and she'd listen to it later. For now, she turned down the volume completely and made sure that it would record again if another transmission came through. Then, she walked back to her desk as she shirked out of the light armor shirt that she was wearing. She picked up her over shirt and put it back on. She ran her hand around the waist of her pants and felt the dagger that was hidden there. She closed her eyes and sat down at her desk. She knew that the rest of the Council would just sit around her, but Indra and Miller would be on her sides, standing just behind her, one on the left and the other on the right. She took a few deep breaths, preparing herself for the meeting about to happen.

Kane and Abby made their way in and sat on the couch to the left of her desk. They always sat there, every meeting, together. It made Octavia smile. It wasn't just because they were there and mostly supported her with what they knew and how things were similar to being on the Ark, but because through all this craziness and being literally buried alive, they still found each other. Seeing them together gave Octavia more hope.

Indra was next. Cooper came in and took up a spot to her left. She watched as the other councilors came in and all took a seat. Miller came in after Niylah, who was last. The librarian/medic/confidant apologized. She had been in the bowels of the bunker checking on supplies. Octavia just dismissed her comments and just pointed at an empty seat. Niylah quickly sat down.

Octavia looked them all over and then stood up before addressing them, "I called this meeting today because we need to discuss some things."

They all waited for Octavia to say more. She moved from behind her desk. Miller and Indra moved with her. Cooper watched her move, but there was something about the cagey way that Octavia almost paced through the office that had everyone on edge. When Octavia finally stopped for a minute, she met Cooper's eyes. She saw the same fire that she saw during the coup. She quickly met Indra's eyes and had a nonverbal conversation. Indra's slight tilt of the head told Octavia all she needed to know.

"We've been in the bunker now for around five and half years. We've weathered many things while we've been here. The thing is that we can't say when we will be able to get out of here. We have been fighting death since before we got in here, and we've continued that fight. We are not giving up. We can't and we won't. But, now, we can't use five years as our goal. We have to look passed it, because we are already passed it. We have to look for the long term. We have to be prepared that it might be some more time before we get out."

"Are you saying we aren't getting out?" one the council members asked.

Octavia turned and realized that it was one of the workers that kept them all clothed.

"No, that is not what I'm saying. What I am saying is that we need to look beyond our timelines. We need to know that we can survive as long as we need to while we are in here."

"What are you proposing?" Kane questioned.

"We need to work together to make sure that we can make things last. The engineers and the service crews need to work together and get with Niylah. We need to know what we have and what we don't. We need to know what we will be able to use and what we will have to make or appropriate from somewhere else. We need to be able to survive. I need for all the crews to get with _Skaikru_ and learn to keep things running. We can't stop now. We won't stop now. We are the last of man and we have to continue our fight. And, we will. We have to change our mindsets for the long run.

"Look, I know that this isn't going to be easy, but this is our reality now. We can't just keep running on the notion that we will get out of here any day. We don't know when that day will come. I still have to believe that we are getting out of here."

"Why?" Cooper asked, the fire in her eyes getting darker.

"Because I have to believe the Bellamy and the rest made it back to the Go-Sci ring. I've been keeping that hope alive since we realized that the door was covered over. Bellamy and the others had to have made it. If they haven't made it back to Earth, they are finding a way. And, I know that Bellamy and Raven won't stop for anything to get us out of here," Octavia told them.

"Neither will Clarke," Abby added.

Octavia turned and looked at Abby. She could see the desire and fire in Abby's eyes. She knew that Abby didn't know that Clarke was alive and on the surface. She knew that Abby was holding on to hope, too. Hers was different than Octavia, but it was the same. They were both waiting on news that their family was still alive and coming back for them.

"That's true. Between Clarke, Bellamy and Raven, they will find a way to get us out. That means that we have to find a way to continue to survive."

"What do you need from us?" Niylah asked and Octavia could see the changes that the bunker had caused in the young, beautiful, honey-blond Grounder.

"We need to make sure our counts are good. We need to do a full inventory. We need to know what we need to absolutely need to ration and what we can continue to use without any reservation. We need to know what we are working with and I need each of you as the heads of your areas to make sure the numbers are correct. Count, recount and triple count. This is about all of us and not just your stations and areas. This is about life and death."

"When do you want them?" Kane asked her.

"By the end of the week, and Kane, I want you and Niylah to do a full count based on everyone else's."

"What does that mean?" Fonta the head of the hydrostations inquired.

"It means I want you to turn your counts into Kane and then he'll recount himself with Niylah."

"You don't trust us?" Cooper questioned.

"Honestly, no, I don't. I can't and be in my position. I can't trust anyone because any of you turn on me and we fail, we die."

"Paranoia won't help you keep everyone in line," Kane stated.

"I know. Which is why Abby and I will count behind Niylah and your areas," Octavia told him. "We have to do this to survive. Falsifying reports will be a crime against _Wonkru _and will result in being sent to the Pits. We cannot fail at this. I can't stress that enough."

"I think it is a good idea," Abby added. "I have to do regular reports on medicine for us all. This is just on a grander scale. And, I understand why some of you would be worried, but this isn't a performance evaluation. This is a inventory of the bunker. We need to know what is working and what isn't. If it isn't working, we need to be able to figure out if we can get it to work with parts we have or we can take it apart and use it for parts. If we don't know what we have, we are destined to fail and all die. Knowing is half the battle, efficiency is the other. I'll have Jackson start a count tonight, _ai Osleya._"

"_Pro, Abi kom Wonkru, ai fisaheda. _Go and make your preparations. We will have another meeting at the end of the week," Octavia replied and dismissed them.

Everyone left the room but Indra and Miller. They both knew that they had to give Octavia their weekly reports, but there was more to it than that and they all knew it. There was something going on with Cooper, but they hadn't been able to prove it.

"Any news?"

"None to report, _Osleya,_" Indra reported.

"Keep switching up the rotation to the farm. I don't want Cooper getting comfortable with a certain set of warriors in there. I can't tell if she is planning something or not. I would rather get ahead of anything than be behind it like last time," Octavia stated.

"I've been switching out her guards, too. I've assigned some of the personal guard to follow her. So far, all they tell me is that she's spending a lot of time in the lab, more so than actually on the farm. Abby visits her a lot there and then a pod gets a new plant. I wish that I had a guard that was good a tech stuff. Hell, I'd give you four of my best just to have Raven or Monty on my team for a few hours in her lab."

"I get that, Miller. I really do, but short of sending Jackson or Abby in there without Cooper, we aren't going to get anything. I think Abby doesn't trust her either. I know Abby has been slipping in reports of their experiments to me with her weekly medical updates and inventories. But, so far, there isn't anything that I can use against her. The reports don't mean anything to me and Abby knows that," Octavia said.

"Then perhaps we should speak with the _fisaheda _and get her to help _us_ understand it," Indra suggested.

"You're right. I'll look through all the reports and get them pulled and ready. Indra, go see Abby and get a check up. Mention that I have some questions about what we are doing for population control or something. We might need to let start letting up on the restrictions. Make it so I need her medical knowledge and tell her that it will be a long discussion."

"When?"

"Two days from now. And, make sure that enough people in the Med-Bay hear you. I want them focused on something other than what we are doing. It will make Cooper start to make a move or something. She's been playing the long game and as much as I want to trust her, I can't. She has to know that."

"That is why she has gotten so close to you," Miller stated.

"I know. And, that is why I will start to cut her off slowly. Make it so I have appointments with each department, starting with Abby and ending with everyone by Cooper. I want Abby's first. The rest can be in order. Just make sure that Cooper knows that she hasn't been scheduled. I want her to come to me. I want to see what she wants me to see and then I'll have Abby and Kane and someone else from Farm Station do a full inventory while Cooper is with me," Octavia told them. "Miller, find me a guard that is feircely loyal to us and our survival. They will do the inventory with Kane and Abby. And, Indra make sure that gona are the ones working when it happens and not anyone that could possibly be loyal to Cooper. I don't care how you do it. Just make it happen."

"_Sha, Blodreina,_" Indra replied with a salute and quirk of her lips.

Octavia knew that Indra didn't like Cooper. She thought that the woman was too agreeable and not smart enough to carry through with any plan. She wasn't a warrior. She was a farmer and while Indra respected farmers, she couldn't respect Cooper. They were like oil and water. Octavia rarely pitted them against each other, but Cooper was being shady and she needed to make sure that her head of the farm wasn't planning on poisoning them all or something.

"Anything else?" Miller asked her.

"Not tonight, Miller. I'll see in the training room just after breakfast. Send London in to see me tomorrow. I need to talk to her about Ethan. Other than that, make your plans for the guard rotation, set up for someone to start your inventories, and get some rest."

"_Sha, Osleya,_" Miller stated.

"Oh, and Miller?"

"Yeah?"

"Conduct a quiet census, too. Names, ages, and former clans. I want to know who we need to watch as soon as we get back to the ground. Make sure that the rotations are still mixed."

"O, we haven't has any issues since you started the integration back in the first few months."

"I know, but I have a feeling that the ground will change everyone once we see it again."

"As you wish," he told her and left the office.

She sat back down at her desk and looked around the room. She knew that it was healthy to have a small amount of paranoia, but she was afraid that it was growing each day that they were still underground. She knew that it wasn't true, but the days seemed to be getting longer. She huffed and got up. She grabbed another knife and then went over to the radio. She turned it on and pulled out the recording from that morning.

"Hey, Bellamy. Hit another milestone today. Day two thousand and still no word. Madi and I seem to be the only surviving humans on the ground. I can't wait to see you. I hope you come home soon. I need... Just come home..."

"Please come home, Bellamy. We both need you. Come save me again, Big Brother," Octavia said as she leaned back in the chair.

She looked over at the wall. She cocked her arm back and threw the knife in it at the wall. It stuck into a painting that hung there. Octavia looked at the knife and then the painting. It was just dark colors on canvas, but the colors were running, like ink down a sheet of white paper.

"I miss you all so much," Octavia said and bowed her head, finally letting some of the emotion and grief that she'd been holding for years out.


End file.
